


Wild At Heart

by boos_pledis



Series: The Claimed Series [1]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alpha Choi Soobin, Alpha Huening Kai, Alpha Jeon Jungkook, Alpha Kim Namjoon | RM, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Werewolves, Beta Choi Beomgyu, Beta Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Beta Min Yoongi | Suga, Fluff, Hunter!Yeonjun, Love, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Mpreg, Omega Kang Taehyun, Omega Kim Seokjin | Jin, Omega Kim Taehyung | V, Omega Park Jimin (BTS), Pack Dynamics, Secrets, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Threats of Violence, Wolf Pack, lying, side ships too, the violence isn't too graphic but it is kinda graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 113,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25170460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boos_pledis/pseuds/boos_pledis
Summary: Yeonjun is a hunter, trained to ruthlessly kill any werewolves - no matter gender or age - he encounters. He's the best of the best, failure isn't in his vocabulary.So what happens when he's outsmarted by a pack of werewolves?Everything he thought he knew might just come crashing down.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Series: The Claimed Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969165
Comments: 215
Kudos: 801





	1. Chapter 1

Being human never helped Yeonjun, the emotions, the thoughts, the susceptibility of his body to harm. In his line of work, it takes concentration, focus, and diligence. Preparation for all scenarios ever since he started training at the tender age of seven left him immune to everything, making him numb, _forcing_ him to be numb even when pain is inflicted, even when he wasn’t numb. 

Scars litter his body from all his previous missions, all with a painful memory lingering behind. Yeonjun was taught pain tolerance, he’s seen what happened to the weak people in his program, seen that the agency purged their lives because they simply couldn’t comply and accept their teachings.

_Stubborn_ , most people called him that. Stubborn for pushing to be the best, stubborn because he would never settle for anything less than excellence, stubborn for continuing the merciless training no matter how drained he felt physically and emotionally, stubborn because he didn’t want to feel pain.

_The quicker you learn and apply that knowledge, the less pain you feel_. That was the first lesson Yeonjun learned from mere observation, even before the rule book was handed out. 

The electrical currents from the long, black metal rods still sizzle his delicate, pathetic skin, the phantom of the after-shock spasms haunting, the resounding _wack!_ from the paddle, stinging as though it might never stop, cuts - not deep, never deep, can’t scar the face - from the obsidian blade of the head countess, blood leaking drop after drop until it clots with the threat of more if the bad behavior doesn’t stop. 

But in the end, Yeonjun is stronger, mentally, physically, and emotionally. He needs to be like this so he can fulfill his mission until he dies by the hands - or should he say _paws_ \- of the werewolves or God decides it is his time. 

Taking out whole villages, whole packs of the foul creatures is an accomplishment in the eyes of Yeonjun and the agency. Yeonjun prides himself on his kills, because kills equal no pain for Yeonjun from the agency. The agency could hurt Yeonjun worse than any one of those vile animals, but that’s only more motivation. 

Disgust rises within him and only fuels the fire inside of him. Anger flips and becomes rage, rage into fury, and it turns, continuously, endlessly churns within him, burns bright behind his eyes, behind the red in his face. Searing, scathing, _scalding_ heat builds and builds then bursts, sets him off to wreak havoc among his targets and those who attempt to help or protect them. 

However, those feelings are accompanied with a feeble wave of sadness, weakness, flashes of his parents faces appear. Terror, he sees their terror caused by the red eyed, crazed wolf ripping into their bodies, pulling out organ after organ and _swallowing_ it, in it’s bleeding entirety. In front of Yeonjun, poor, baby Yeonjun, scared enough to urge himself to run away like his parents are yelling at him, but too terrified to move from his spot on the floor where he was knocked down by the barreling wolf, let alone look away. 

“Yeonjun?” 

Clenched jaw, tightened fists, flames burning behind his eyes, body almost trembling with the need, the _craving_ to kill anything that shifts unnaturally from human to animal, Yeonjun readies himself for the mission he’s about to receive. He composes himself accordingly as he must follow the rules when it comes to addressing and interacting with his teachers. _Always conduct yourself in a respectful manner with authority, disrespect will not be tolerated._

“Yes, Mr. Jung?” 

“Here’s the file for your next mission, looks like a quick one. “ Mr. Jung hands him a yellow card stock file. 

Yeonjun takes it and flips through it to get a quick skim of the assignment then bows his head. “Thank you, Mr. Jung. I will complete this mission to the best of my ability. _Deus vult_.” 

Mr. Jung bows his head with a satisfied smile. Yeonjun never fails the agency. “ _Deus vult_.”

Mr. Jung leaves and Yeonjun heads back to his pod, a small room to hold the basic necessities needed for the soldiers in the program. Personal items are allowed, but only small things and there is a limit to how much one can have. Another rule, _Have little to no emotional connection to things, places, and/or people, emotions make you weak, weakness will be exploited._

Packing a light bag, Yeonjun expects this mission to be done in one day, two days max if they manage to give him more of a hassle. It’s a small pack of nomadic werewolves hiding on Jeju Island, Yeonjun assuming they’re settled near the Cheonjiyeon Falls seeing as the water is a necessary resource and they can hunt around the watering hole.

After packing, Yeonjun changes then lays down and closes his eyes, dreaming, but not really dreaming, more of _remembering_. 

+++

_“Look at her.” The head countess hisses into his ear. “Tell me what you see.”_

_“A little girl.” Yeonjun obeys immediately, though he leaves out a word that was in his original thought,_ innocent _._

_“But what do you_ know _?” She asks, her glaring eyes flitting between Yeonjun and the little girl._

_Yeonjun stares at the little girl. She’s trembling where she stands in front of Yeonjun and the head countess, her eyes wide with fear, breaths shaking and shuddering, frozen to her spot in fear. Telling qualities show what she really is, and those are what Yeonjun picks out._

_Yeonjun gulps as he makes eye contact with her._ Guilt _has the audacity to sneak up on him, attack his heart and mind, sending off an alarm, a voice yelling at Yeonjun that this isn’t right, that he’s not like this because it’s obvious what the head countess will make him do to her._

_“Her scent, she smells like a dog rolled itself all over her clothing. She has the scar, the one they always get whenever they’ve gone through their first shift.” Yeonjun points out. The scar is small, but it’s in the same exact place for every one of their kind, right cheek, further to the left but still just below the eye. “She’s a werewolf.”_

_“Then you know what you have to do.”_

_The head countess’s black obsidian knife is pressed into Yeonjun’s hand, his mouth open in slight shock even though he knew this would happen, it’s a part of the job, how could he not know?_

_The little girl whimpers and shakes her head, tears springing to her eyes, moving herself backwards when she sees the weapon. It’s a high cry, fear consuming her expression and trying to instill a feeling of sympathy so that Yeonjun won’t hurt her._

_“Guards, hold her.” Two men dressed in plain blue jumpsuits rush over at her command and hold the little girl in place, their faces frozen with the intent to remain stoic._

_The voice comes back, saying things like he’s too young and that he_ can’t _do it, shouldn’t want to do it because it’s a_ little girl _, a_ child _. Begging, pleading for Yeonjun not to do it._

_“Weakness will be exploited, Yeonjun._ Do it _.” The head countess coerces. “She’s a vile creature and she will become like them, better to stop her now while she can’t stop you.”_

_Yeonjun listens, gulping harshly, while approaching her. He’s visibly shaking, he can feel that he doesn’t want to do this._

_A knife to porcelain skin, an internal apology, and a quick slice of death._

+++

After the memory, sleep doesn’t come to him again, Yeonjun lies awake until five am. Thirty minutes until he can leave for the mission and put his focus solely on that. 

He gets up and grabs his clothing, slipping off his nightshirt and pants while attempting to occupy his mind with different, happier thoughts. One he could think of was that after that, the voice didn’t come back. It completely left and it made Yeonjun feel better. That voice could be very annoying when it wanted to, which didn’t help when it came to Yeonjun doing what the agency said. 

When the little girl died, it went away and he doesn’t miss it. Like the head countess said, he had to stop her before she was capable of stopping him. She would’ve grown up to be like the rest of the wolves, if anything, Yeonjun gave her mercy, stopping her from becoming like the rest of her kind. Unfair to her that she was born this way, but Yeonjun is only doing what’s right for mankind. 

Yeonjun justifies himself even as he’s getting on and off of the agency’s private plane and being driven to the location where he’s going to take down the werewolf pack staying there. 

They drop him at the edge of the forest and send him off with a nod and their saying of multiple meanings, “ _Deus vult_ ”, in this case meaning good luck. 

The flora of the area shines with its vibrant light green color, it’s beautiful and once Yeonjun finishes his mission, he’s going to enjoy his time in nature, help clear his head, get him to think as he should. The sun blares with heat and light, little rustles in the bushes and trees sounding from the gentle breeze dancing on the leaves and branches. 

Yeonjun smiles. Smiling doesn’t happen often for him, but nature is the one thing that’s ever made him happy to be alive. Sure, killing gives him a rush and makes him feel powerful, but never once has he been happy after a kill. Nature makes him happy, the only thing that has made him happy since before his parents were killed. 

Making his way through the forest, he searches for a mud puddle. He figures he won’t find one until he gets to the waterfall, so for now, he’ll spend his time locating the wolf pack. 

The waterfall stands deep in the woods, so Yeonjun must be careful and stay alert while he walks. People, namely tourists, visit the place quite often and Yeonjun hopes that will be enough for the werewolves to keep away. 

Trekking through the green grass, Yeonjun, after what he assumes to be approximately twenty to thirty minutes, finds the waterfall, hears the water falling from the top splash into and shush the lake below it. 

It’s as gorgeous as the picture in his file. Lush green grass sprouting with life, filthy brown mud puddling by the water, the glistening, bluish green water swaying, the rocks standing their ground as the natural protector of the water, the magnificence of the scene truly strikes Yeonjun, taking in the fresh, untainted air. 

Yeonjun sets down his bag and sits on a rock, his first priority to cover up his scent with the mud. He scoops a big handful of it and rubs it on his cheek, down the side of his face, his neck and down his shirt. Another scoop does the same thing on the other side, covering the scent and staining the skin with the mucky substance. He gets his arms, coats them generously, rubbing it in slightly to make sure it takes away the smell. More handfuls later, his clothes and exposed skin are slathered with mud, he even ran some through his hair for good measure. 

Silently, Yeonjun gazes longingly at the waterfall, lingers a moment longer than intended. He can’t help it, the view, the awareness, the _sensitivity_ to the environment feels marvelous, like he never wants it to go away, like if he had the choice, he would stay if he could, retire from his life and just stay here forever, alone with only nature as company. 

With a huff of determination and a shake of his head, Yeonjun takes off to sneakily track down the pack of werewolves. He travels deeper into the forest, keeping his peripheral vision and ears peeled, his knife tucked away safely in his specially made loose, flowing black shirt, gun hidden underneath the shirt and shoved into the back of his pants, looking at the ground for werewolf tracks. He could go off anything really, trained to use what he has to find them and annihilate them as fast as possible while also being extremely careful not to leave any trace of himself. 

These werewolves, smarter than anticipated, didn’t leave anything behind, but Yeonjun keeps looking, keeps tracing because they had to leave _something_ behind. He may have to look closer, but he can find something. Maybe if he looks for a food source, he could find paw prints or loose hairs, maybe even the pungent smell of mutt. 

Berries, a clearing with rabbits, a deer, any type of food source would do because food sources aren’t very easy to come by, especially with nomadic troops like this one since they must leave behind any food they previously had when they leave. 

A rustle of leaves and branches catches his attention. The breeze is strong enough to ruffle a few leaves out of place, but a whole branch? Something is nearby. The movement was too harsh, too abrupt, too sudden to not be something stronger moving it. 

Yeonjun scans the perimeter and finally, _finally_ spots his prey. A thrill runs down his spine, but he composes himself, watching the interaction between the wolf and the bunny, calculating the right time to strike so he can acquire as minimal injuries as possible. 

Quick on his feet, Yeonjun moves closer, close as he can possibly get so it’ll be an easy striking distance. He slows his breathing, stoops low and positions himself to hide behind a tree, his eyes squinted, watching and waiting for his prey to get in the right spot so he can attack. He pulls his gun from out of his pants, points, aims, remains still, waits. Plans to take out a leg the moment he springs for the bunny rabbit. 

However, that never happens, instead, the wolf turns his head, sniffs the air, and Yeonjun sees how his eyes widen, when he senses that Yeonjun is there. Yeonjun curses very lowly under his breath and glares at the wolf, the wolf must have an extra heightened sense of smell. So he decides it’s now or never. 

The wolf moves to take another step closer to his smell and Yeonjun shoots, pulls the trigger, and feels the recoil of the gun. He hears the bullet pierce the leg, the murmured whistle and then the howl of a pained wolf. Yeonjun watches the wolf whimpering and limping, looking around to see where the culprit is, and Yeonjun jumps out from his spot when he’s close enough, tackling him to the ground and rolling with the wolf. 

Another howl, this one a telling howl to alert his pack, and Yeonjun grabs the knife, presses it underneath his neck where he could slit his throat with a quick flick of his wrist. “Try anything and I take your dead body back to your hoard of mutts. Shift.” 

The wolf listens to Yeonjun and he sees that it’s a younger boy, probably in his teenage years. He’s compliant to Yeonjun’s demands but there’s a fire in his eyes, defiance going against Yeonjun’s glare. “My pack is coming, you’ll be sorry you even got close to me.” 

A cackle slips from Yeonjun’s lips. “You think that’s the first time I’ve heard that line? Oh, how naive you are, mutt.” 

Yeonjun switches his knife to his gun in a swift move, holds him at gunpoint, lifts off of him then motions for him to get up. “Get up slowly, don’t try anything because I _won’t_ hesitate to kill you.” 

The boy mumbles while following orders, covering himself because unfortunately for him, werewolves do not shift with clothes. “Don’t even have any clothing, I’m naked, for all I know, you’re a freaking pervert.”  
  
“I may be gay and a hunter, but I’m not a pervert, _kid_.” Yeonjun puts the gun to his head. 

“Oh so you pride yourself on being a killer, but you’re totally right, you’re a better person because at least you’re not a pervert. Right, totally makes sense, totally got it.” The kid mouths off sarcastically, rolling his eyes and giving him a flat look. 

“I’m not a killer, I’m a hunter.” 

The boy’s eyes narrow and he shakes his head. “You still kill people who haven’t done anything to you at all. That’s a killer.” 

“Little boy, I don’t kill people, I kill _monsters_. I’m doing the public a service.” 

“You’re killing innocent people who have nothing to do with your problem. Just because someone like you does something bad like kill another, doesn’t mean that the rest of humanity are killers. So if one of my kind did something bad to you, then why do you assume that the rest of us are like that?” 

“Because…” He considers the boy’s words, the words completely go against his teachings, and you _never_ go against the head countess’s teachings, “because you’re abominations, you’re unnatural. You need to go away.” 

The kid scoffs and shakes his head. “That’s so hypocritical. You know, I learned in the history books-” 

“I don’t care what you learned, mutt. Just take me to your village.” 

“No.” 

“What?” Yeonjun presses the gun harder to his head. “You must be really fucking stupid to refuse me, kid. I’m gonna tell you one more time, _take me to your village_.” 

“I don’t have to.” The boy’s lips lift at the corner the smallest bit, enough for Yeonjun to catch the way he stops it from twitching up into a full smile. “They’re already here.” 

A sudden whistle from behind Yeonjun has him twisting to watch as a dart, too fast to stop, gets stuck into his shoulder and there must be something on it because Yeonjun’s body starts trembling, his vision starting to blur, his hand dropping the gun from the boy’s head as werewolves start coming out from behind the trees and bushes. 

Dark circles fill his vision, he’s about to go down, his body heavy like his limbs were made out of lead. 

How did he not see them? All his training, all his hard work to get to the point he made it too and it comes to this? About to die or even worse, be tortured and raped and whatever else they can think of by the hands of his worst enemy? 

Yeonjun was outsmarted, he doesn’t know how, but they managed to outsmart him. He looks at the kid one last time before his legs completely give out and he’s falling to the floor, a book of rules flipping page by page to remind him of every last one. It’s exactly what the head countess would make him do for not succeeding despite all the times he has before, that and constant punishments. He’s seen the ways his comrades in the program are treated when they fail, Yeonjun doesn’t want that for himself at all. 

But he can’t do anything, his body not responding to his brain, his eyelids fluttering close. In the back of his mind, a question forms from the cold sweat on his palms, the racing of his heart, the unknown punishments lying ahead for Yeonjun failing even though he knew it couldn’t happen, that it should never happen: _who’s gonna kill me first, the werewolves or the head countess_?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so thankful for the support and I hope you're excited for what I have in store :D

Yeonjun’s eyes flutter open, consciousness slipping back into his mind, and he assesses his surroundings, notices that nothing around him is familiar, he’s somewhere unknown and strange. That’s when it hits him. 

His head flicks up and he glimpses around the room then down at himself where the rope wrapped around him restricts and limits his movements. Yeonjun internally panics, flashes of the previous happenings answering his unasked questions. 

Hog tied and on his side, Yeonjun takes in the handmade tent using animal skins, stretched as far as possible, the smooth part on the inside. He turns his head and analyzes the soft animal fur he’s laying on, then light catches his eyes and Yeonjun flinches. 

The light filters in through the small slit in the tent, an _opening_. If Yeonjun can figure out a way to slip out of this rope, he can crawl out of the opening and run off, probably grab a stick and break it enough to use it as a weapon. 

Yeonjun wriggles and wiggles and writhes against the confinements around his body, but to no anvil. Nothing loosens, nothing falls off, nothing lets go of Yeonjun and it dawns on him, he’s really stuck, left without his knife and his gun. He doesn’t even have his bag, they must’ve taken it when they took him here. 

If he had his bag, he could’ve used the matches he has in there or maybe even some of the materials he has to make a makeshift bomb to get him out of here, but no, nothing comes to mind, there’s nothing in this tent that will help to free him. 

Then someone comes in the tent and Yeonjun glares at the person, menacingly. _An alpha_ , Yeonjun’s mind supplies as he sizes up the male in front of him. He stands tall, lean, but with muscles underlying the clothing he’s wearing, an aura exudes from him too, the typical dominant alpha aura, but there’s something slightly different about the way he carries himself. Arrogance is missing. Every single time Yeonjun has encountered an alpha, there was always an air of arrogance surrounding them or a cocky smirk and slight hop in his step. But this alpha doesn’t have any of that. He doesn’t glare at Yeonjun, doesn’t smirk, doesn’t smile, doesn’t do anything but look at him with a blank stare. 

“Who are you?” The man’s voice isn’t as low as Yeonjun anticipated, a low tenor, not bass. 

Yeonjun glares, heat building up within him, burning, blistering, the flame flickering wildly in his eyes. He doesn’t speak, not one peep. _If ever captured, don’t say anything_. The engrained rule shows up in his mind and he sticks to it. 

The man sighs and squats down. “I’m Kim Namjoon. Alpha of this pack, and you are?” He seems to be taking the polite approach but Yeonjun is stubborn and keeps his mouth sealed shut. 

“I see.” The alpha, Namjoon, stands. Like a mother does to her puppy, Namjoon grabs the back of Yeonjun’s shirt and yanks him up onto his feet, then proceeds to drag him out of the tent. 

Yeonjun stumbles behind him and tries to use his dead weight to make himself too heavy to carry, but Namjoon isn’t fazed, only continues to drag him through their village, past their tents and huts and fires and playgrounds, past women, children, teenagers, and even the elderly until they reach a stretch of grassy land. 

Rocks mark rows and rows of seats in the tall grass and smaller rocks for a square almost like a podium in front of it all. It’s most likely the place they use for their pack meetings. 

Namjoon makes it to the square with the smaller rocks and turns around, Yeonjun is forced to follow. People are filing in, sitting on the rocks, and all eyes are immediately attracted to Yeonjun, staring him down as he glares back with his own scowl. 

A pregnant omega stalks up the aisle between the rock seats and it must be Namjoon’s mate by the way he stands next to him. 

“Please go take a seat, Jin, I don’t want you anywhere near him.” Namjoon nods his head towards Yeonjun, whose glower only sharpens. 

“No.” Is all his mate replies with, and that’s that. 

Namjoons sighs and brings his attention back to the crowd. “Today, I’ve had my mate and some friends round you up for a meeting about this pesky insect right here.” Namjoon throws, _throws_ , Yeonjun into the empty space between Namjoon and the crowd of werewolves, hits the ground on his knees and then wobbles so hard that he falls on his side, basically face planting into the soil beneath the grass. 

“Earlier today, Huening Kai was hunting when this human threatened to take his life, keep in mind, Kai did not threaten him, not at all. His simple explanation as to why he was going to kill him, is because we are who we are. We’re werewolves, but to this stupid being, we’re abominations, unnatural, so obviously, we don’t deserve to live.” 

Yeonjun didn’t care what Namjoon said, they _are_ abominations, they _are_ unnatural and people would commend him for his public service towards the greater good, making the world a safer place without Satan's creatures roaming this very Earth made solely for humans. 

“Today, he shall be executed and set out as an example to all hunters of what we can do. We are strong, and we will prevail against this prejudice, murderace group. In a couple hours, he will die.” 

A loud cheer overwhelms the crowd and Yeonjun scoffs, _savages, they’re all savages_. Death doesn’t scare Yeonjun, of course he doesn’t want to die, but he isn’t going to let a bunch of dumb animals believe they’ve bested him by showing emotion. He might even smile before they kill him, laugh in their faces, show them just how crazy he really is before he’s offed. 

Even if they kill him, he _will_ win.

+++

It’s quite a surprise when yet another pregnant omega waddles into the tent with a medical bag, being followed by not only the alpha of the pack, but another male, a beta, he presumes by the energy he gives off. 

“God fucking damn it, Beomgyu, stop fucking following me!” The omega angrily grumbles as he plops down beside Yeonjun with his first aid kit. 

The beta, Beomgyu, shakes his head. “You know I can’t do that, baby, I’m not leaving you alone with this...psycho.” 

“Mutt.” Yeonjun mutters in petty retaliation. 

The omega growls, a bone chilling, animalistic growl that even frightens Yeonjun a bit, though he doesn’t show it. “Look at me, Beomgyu, and listen well. I have a baby in my stomach, this baby is hungry 24/7, kicks me in the guts about five times per second, and makes me feel nauseous about every two hours or so. I’m so tired, that I’m angry. Anyone tries anything, they’ll get their ass handed to them, okay?” 

“That’s why you shouldn’t be here! You should be resting!” Beomgyu continues on with his worries, not the slightest bit afraid of his mate. “If anything happens, I’m supposed to protect you, Taehyun.” 

Taehyun closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, then looks at his mate. “Fine, fine. Just stay where you are and be quiet so I can do my job. We only have one doctor right now because Yerin is sick, Wonwoo is tripping down town to collect medicines, Yuna is on her pregnancy leave, and Jimin is still on the hunt to attend to them. I’m all we have left, so please, Beommie, let me do my job.” 

Beomgyu inhales and huffs out a breath, pouting, but listens, standing next to the entrance flap with Namjoon. 

Taehyun reaches over and opens his medical kit to dig for something. He pulls out a flashlight and scoots closer to Yeonjun, moving his hand up to tug Yeonjun’s shirt up. 

Yeonjun jerks back, glares at Taehyun, threatens him even, “Don’t touch me, you’ll be sorry if you do.” 

With an exasperated sigh, Taehyun rolls his head and holds up the flashlight like it’s a lethal weapon, which, in this case, it probably is in Taehyun’s hands. “I’m not afraid of you, fucker. Don’t make me knock you the fuck out because trust me, I will.” 

Yeonjun examines the omega up and down. “You speak to the devil in your womb with that mouth?” 

Taehyun purses his lips and then smiles, not warm and genuine, but cold and hostile. “Fuck you. Now shut up and let me do my job before I really do hit you with this.” 

Yeonjun would rather not be in pain before he dies, so he reluctantly turns his head but leans his body towards the doctor. 

Taehyun gets to work silently, and Yeonjun can hear him going through his kit every now and then, things clanging and banging up against each other. Careful and gentle, exactly like how omegas were described in their textbooks back at the agency. 

“Why do you have to do this?” Yeonjun flinches and hisses when he feels Taehyun inserting a needle under his skin near the spot where he got hit with the dart. He can’t help but conjure up an image of the head countess pulling her obsidian knife and slashing at him until he stopped flinching. 

“Can’t let the people you work with know what we’re using.” Taehyun explains simply, wiping his skin with an alcohol wipe. “If they see the mark it left, they’ll definitely test it. So we’re not gonna risk it.” 

“Oh.” Yeonjun replies and Taehyun finishes him off with another good swipe of a dry tissue before putting his medical supplies away. Yeonjun watches him once he’s done, watches as he tries to get up, but can’t. He scoffs and shakes his head. “Pathetic.” 

Taehyun glares up at Yeonjun before glancing over at his mate and holding out his hand as a signal for him to help him up. “Beommie…” he whines and clenches his hands in a rather petulant way. 

His mate goes over and grabs his hand, pulling him up, placing a hand on the small of his back, nuzzling his face into his neck and shooting over one last glare at Yeonjun for good measure. 

Taehyun kisses Beomgyu tenderly. After, he glances back and says, “It was horrible meeting you.” 

Yeonjun doesn’t care, shaking his head, and putting it down as he waits and waits for the end of his days. 

+++

Back in the tent, Yeonjun sits, glaring daggers at Namjoon’s mate, Seokjin, as he had introduced himself. Namjoon stands outside of the entrance, having been hesitant to leave them alone, but Seokjin insisted. 

Seokjin, with what Yeonjun witnessed from his interaction with his mate, can take care of himself. Fierce, headstrong, and intimidating, the omega has a leg up when he’s talking with people and even though Yeonjun detests his kind, he can respect him, especially with him being a second gender that’s usually labelled as weaker. 

“Why would you hurt a child?” Seokjin’s face is red, his own glower clashing with Yeonjun’s, even more menacing than Yeonjun’s, steam rising from out of his ears. 

“He was barely a child.” Yeonjun finds himself saying even though that goes against the rules. If the head countess found out he wasn’t keeping his mouth shut, she'd have his head on a platter. 

“I am the Luna of this pack, they’re my people, and my children consist of anyone under the age of eighteen. So I’m going to ask you again, why would you _hurt_ my child?” Seokjin looks like he’s about five seconds away from strangling Yeonjun, but Yeonjun isn’t scared, not at all. Plus, Seokjin isn’t the type of person to compromise the safety of the child in his womb, Yeonjun can tell by the way he’s holding a protective hand over his bulging belly. 

“Because all of you don’t deserve to walk this Earth. You’re ugly beings, Satan’s creation.” Yeonjun tells him honestly, smirking as he sees his words getting under Seokjin’s skin. 

Seokjin closes his eyes, the hand on his stomach clenches into a fist and it looks like he’s trying his hardest to restrain himself from smacking Yeonjun. “Why can’t we just live in peace?” When Seokjin’s eyes open again, melancholy resides in them, the hot, fiery anger subsiding. “We have never harmed anyone who hasn’t tried to harm us first. We have never hurt _you_ in any way. We just want peace, peace is all we ask.” 

Yeonjun doesn’t reply, doesn’t want to reply, turns his head to the side and glances at the ground, guarding his expression so Seokjin won’t see that there’s an inkling of guilt, something so small, yet so strong striking his heart, gripping with the jaws of a crocodile. But he ignores it, acts as if it’s not there, and reminds himself that all werewolves are just as bad as the werewolf that took the lives of his parents. 

He goes over rules in his head, goes over the memorized teachings from his teachers and the head countess, all the lessons given. _Success means no pain_ , it’s his mantra when he gets like this, when his weak feelings that aren’t rage and fury attempt to take over him, attempt to overwhelm him. 

The only thing: Yeonjun isn’t succeeding. He has been captured, he has _failed_. The admission stings, threatens to make Yeonjun cry at the mere thought of the consequences from the head countess. It’ll be worse, worse for him because the expectations they have for him are perfection and this...well, this is disappointing, and shameful. 

Which brings him back to the question, how did they sneak up on him without him noticing? 

_Get a grip, Yeonjun_ , he scolds himself and composes himself. _Weakness will be exploited_ and he can’t let that happen to him of all people. 

Seokjin sighs and calls in his mate. “Namjoon.”

Namjoon appears relieved once he’s called in, immediately cradling Seokjin’s face. “Are you okay?” 

“Of course, hon, don’t be stupid.” Seokjin gazes into his mate's eyes with his own troubled ones, smiling gently. 

“He didn’t cause you any stress, did he? You know it’s not good for the baby.” One of Namjoon’s big hands land on Seokjin’s pregnant belly and rubs gently. He shoots a quick glare in Yeonjun’s direction before returning his attention to his mate. 

Seokjin shakes his head with a small chuckle. “I’m fine, Joon, and plus, I’m always stressed.” With that, he walks out of the tent and leaves Yeonjun alone with Namjoon. 

“I’d enjoy your last moments alive, you don’t have much time left, human.” Namjoon spits with a deadly venom and leaves the tent so Yeonjun is alone. 

Yeonjun closes his eyes. The ocean pops into his imagination, complete with sand, palm trees, birds, fish, nature in its own stupendous beauty. It’s breezy, cool, yet the sun beats down mercilessly on pale skin, waves lapping, the shore following and the sediment holding onto each other to stop from being sucked in, little sand crabs jumping back and forth between the surface and underground after getting a taste of the salty sea water. 

At least when he dies, he’ll be in nature, be in his happiest place and despite the fact that he’ll be killed by his greatest enemy, he’s glad to be released from this life. There will be no pain once he dies, nothing more to worry about. He can rejoin his family. The simple thoughts make a small smile twitch up onto his lips. 

“Hello?” Yeonjun startles and opens his eyes wide, the smile falling off his face as he’s faced with another wolf. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” The male says, closing the entrance of the hunt behind him and then turning around. 

Yeonjun lowers his eyes, doesn’t say anything. 

“I’m not supposed to be doing this, but I just...I had to be sure.” He sounds breathless, sounds like he’s nervous too. Yeonjun wonders what he’s doing here and raises his head to get a good read of the unknown person. 

Except, when they make eye contact, his heart races, his palms start sweating, mind and body yearning for this man that he doesn’t even know. A surge of heat fills Yeonjun’s belly, but it’s different, completely different from the heat he’s grown accustomed to. The heat, it’s not scalding or scathing or searing or burning or blistering, it’s warm, intensely warm, bordering on hot, but still _warm_. 

His brain cannot compute, cannot comprehend, cannot _understand_ what’s happening within him. His mouth goes dry, drops open as his breaths get shakier, come out like a dog panting. Confusion settles in his mind because he can’t figure out what the hell is going on with himself.

Then _it_ comes back, the _voice_ is back, after all this time, after all he’s been through, it’s finally come back but this time it’s screaming, shrieking, whining in his mind, _MATE_!

Yeonjun feels like he could vomit, apprehension, excitement, flaming attraction, vehement passion, perplextion, all mixing into one nervous ball in the pit of Yeonjun’s stomach, tugging uncomfortably as familiarity warms his blood. The spike of feelings is too much to handle and it sends Yeonjun into shortened breaths. 

“Wh-what did you do t-to me?” Yeonjun spits at the werewolf. 

Soobin’s eyes widen and he crawls closer to Yeonjun. “You feel it too, don’t you?” His lips begin tilting upwards in a smile that Yeonjun finds breathtaking. 

“What the hell did you poison me with? What the fuck is happening to me, you stupid werewolf!?” Yeonjun roars, his eyes going crazed with the fact that he’s trying to figure out just what the _fuck_ is wrong with him. 

“Nothing, this-this is our soulmate connection. The moon goddess made me for you and you for me. We were meant to be-” Soobin stops talking as he gawks at Yeonjun with glowing, adoring red eyes, “I’m sorry, I never caught your name.”

Yeonjun narrows his eyes in an intimidating glare. “I’m not telling you my name and I’m not your fucking soulmate, you-you beast!” He yells at him. 

His face falls, his eyes dimming slightly, mouth collapsing into a pout, cheeks puffed out and Yeonjun’s heart palpitates, endearment soaring through his chest and constricting his lungs. “But...but your eyes! They’re blue!” Soobin points at Yeonjun’s eyes and Yeonjun is taken aback. 

“No…” If his eyes were glowing blue, that could only mean one thing, “no, they’re not! I-I don’t believe you!” 

“What is all the yelling about?” Namjoon walks in on the two, his eyes displaying irritation and confusion. “Soobin, what the hell are you doing here?” 

Soobin stands and bows his head in front of the head alpha. “Alpha, we-we can’t kill him.” 

“And why the fuck not? Do I have to remind you that he was going to kill Hyuka? Your own little brother?” Namjoon stares at Soobin as if he grew a second head.

“Alpha, he-” Soobin looks up at him and Namjoon sees the way his eyes are glowing. 

Glowing eyes only happen when someone finds a soulmate. Namjoon marches over to Yeonjun and grips his chin, holding his face up to look into his eyes. They’re glowing too. He gasps as Yeonjun thrashes in his grip. 

“Oh my god. But...that’s impossible! He’s human, he smells like a human, he’s never shifted!” Namjoon exclaims, letting go of Yeonjun and stalking back over to Soobin. 

Soobin shrugs his shoulders sheepishly. “Special case? Maybe...I don’t know! Has there ever been anything like this in the history books?” 

“Listen to me, you fucking dogs!” Yeonjun all but growls - without an animalistic undertone like a werewolf which should be reassuring, but he’s not paying attention to that - at the two wolves, his eyes blazing with wrath and hellfire. “Get me a fucking mirror, I want to fucking see!” 

Namjoon exhales and has to hold back a growl, but compiles to Yeonjun’s demand, walking out to get a mirror for him. His mate has one, though the pack doesn’t have nor allow there to be a lot of items from the human world, Seokjin specially requested a mirror and Namjoon, being his mate, _had_ to get it for him. 

Soobin turns to Yeonjun, but he doesn’t say anything, just stares, unsure and uncertain about what to do until Namjoon gets back. He’s got to admit, Yeonjun is scary, the way he constantly glares at everyone and that he tried to kill his little brother _and_ the fact that he hates werewolves in general proves that. But Soobin can’t help what’s meant to be, it’s not his fault that he already feels so much towards the guy who’s tied up and struggling against the confinements. 

Namjoon comes back with a mirror and approaches Yeonjun with it. “I’ll open it, don’t try anything.” 

When Yeonjun first views himself in the glass, he can’t believe what he’s looking at. But it’s there, his eyes glowing blue. It’s a known fact among everyone at the agency that werewolves can only mate inside of their species, meaning there’s only one way for Yeonjun’s eyes to be glowing a light, baby blue color. 

Body jerking, eyes rolling back, the next thing Yeonjun knows, he’s blacking out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ~~

_ Yeonjun dances around, cheering, smiling, laughing with his mother, their hands interlacing and their bodies moving along with the rhythm of the music.  _

_ His mother, she was so, so beautiful. Dark, chestnut brown hair that cascaded down to her shoulders, a smile that crinkled the corner of her eyes and radiated warmth, gorgeous twinkling, happy eyes, a lovely heart that she wore on her sleeve. In Yeonjun’s eyes, she was absolutely perfect.  _

_ His father was a very attractive man as well, hair a lighter brown, eyes that were stern yet caring, and a smile that was rare, but happened more often when Yeonjun and his mother were around.  _

_ Yeonjun can see him from where he’s sitting on the couch, doing his work while Yeonjun’s mother dances with him. Baby Yeonjun likes to check up on his dad because stress is a mean feeling that likes to hurt his dad and Yeonjun doesn’t like when he’s stressed.  _

_ “Yeonjunnie!” His mother singsongs playfully, swinging him around and trying to get his attention back on her.  _

_ Yeonjun smiles a little smile and dances with her, or that is until a knock sounds on the front door. Yeonjun’s mother seems confused, but she calls out that she’ll get it and tells Yeonjun to keep working on his moves.  _

_ So Yeonjun continues to dance and move to the beat and rhythm of the song, but also slows down so he can watch the interaction between the unknown people and his parents.  _

_ It’s a lady and a man, Yeonjun doesn’t know who they are, he’s never seen them before, but his parents must know them because his mother’s face lights up in recognition.  _

_ His mother gives the new lady and man a hug and invites them in, his father closing his laptop and standing up to welcome them as well. Yeonjun wonders why he hasn’t been introduced but listens to what his mother said and continues working on his dance moves.  _

_ “Yeonjunnie,” His mother calls him, signalling him over, “come here, baby, there’s someone I want to introduce you to.”  _

_ Yeonjun listens and turns off the small stereo that played the music, walking over and standing next to his mommy, smiles up at the new stranger because it’s the polite thing to do. “Hello! I’m Yeonjun, it’s nice to meet you, miss.” He holds out his hand like his father does when he meets new people, waits for her to shake it because that’s usually what the other people do.  _

_ The lady seems fazed as she stares at Yeonjun, but then she’s breaking out of it with a big smile and taking Yeonjun’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Yeonjun, my name is-”  _

_ A loud growl breaks through the house and Yeonjun is surprised, turning his head, watching as a big wolf with angry red eyes prowls closer and closer to his father, backs him up until he’s near Yeonjun’s mother, then it attacks.  _

_ Yeonjun isn’t sure what happens after that, knocked to the ground, his mother pushes him away from the big wolf, she’s saying something, but Yeonjun can’t hear in the daze he’s in from hitting his head on the wood floors.  _

_ It’s blurry, his eyes are unfocused, and it’s hard to get them to refocus, all he can see is the blurry outline of his parents being attacked by the dangerous wolf, ripping out pieces that look like guts and when Yeonjun’s ears finally tune in, he hears his mother screaming, “Yeonjun,  _ run _!” _

_ Horror writes itself on his face, his mind urging him to listen and run, but his body is refusing to move, frozen to the spot.  _

_ Then there are arms around him and he’s looking up into the face of the new lady. Suddenly his eyes clear and it’s  _ her. 

+++

He feels  _ different _ . His eyes are sharper, his nose is more sensitive, his hearing is heightened, Yeonjun is  _ different _ . His vision is perfect, better than perfect, clearer, past 20/20 vision. All these new smells are filling his noses, vanilla bean from his left, a strong woody, forest scent from behind, cinnamon and sugar somewhere that he can’t exactly locate. The screams of children from all the way across the length of the werewolve’s camp, whispers from different parts outside, inappropriate noises from another makeshift tent in the row of tents. Lying on his back, his head on the ground, his body still, he can hear, see, smell it all and Yeonjun freaks out.

“Oh, you’re awake.” It’s the guy that came in, claiming that Yeonjun is his mate. Soobin? He doesn’t know, but he is certain that the vanilla bean scent is coming from him. “Are you okay, mate? You had, like...a seizure or something.” 

“Why do I feel this way?” 

Soobin peers over him curiously, inspecting him. “What do you mean? Does something hurt?”    
  
Yeonjun shakes his head, breathes coming in short and mind unable to grasp the situation at hand. “I can...smell different...weird smells, can-can hear  _ everything _ , can...see clearer.” Tears fill his eyes, it’s not connecting, the dots aren’t connecting, the stars aren’t aligning, he can see clearly, but he can’t  _ see _ what’s happening. 

_ Weakness will be exploited, weakness will be exploited, weakness will be exploited, weakness will be exploited. _ Over and over again the rule repeats itself, constantly, constantly trying to remind him that not only will he be punished by the werewolves, that they will take advantage of his weakness, but pain will rain upon him once he returns to the agency, if he ever does at all. 

Being trapped in his own mind, he doesn’t notice the confusion on Soobin’s face. Soobin takes a deep breath, an inhale of air over Yeonjun’s body and he catches a new smell. 

“Oh,” Soobin exhales and pants like he’s breathless. “Alpha, uhh...there’s something going on here.” 

Namjoon comes over to where Soobin is crouching down next to Yeonjun. “What is it, Soobin?” 

“He...he doesn’t smell like a human, he smells like us.” Soobin tells him and Yeonjun breaks. 

Bursting into tears, his body shakes violently, his face scrunching up. He sobs loudly, “I’m a…monster.” His chest is heaving, his heart is pounding, his mind is boggled, he’s a mess, as it finally settles in, goes through each layer of his skin until it rests upon his bones then sinks into the marrow, even gets through his hard headed stubbornness, through his denial. 

Yeonjun is a werewolf. Something he despises, something he’s been taught to hunt, to kill, to detest, something he learned everything about so he could take them down, so he could eliminate them from this Earth and protect humans, protect people so that they don’t end up suffering like Yeonjun or his parents did. 

And yet, he’s one of them. Raised to be a human, raised to do what he has to do for the greater good, raised to hunt, to kill all werewolves before they can end up like the rogue one that attacked his parents, raised to kill women, pregnant or not, children, little or not, men, has _killed_ all types of people, whether adult or child, _exterminate_ _them all_ , as the saying goes. He’s a part of a species that he’s been conditioned to kill. 

_ What do I do _ ? Yeonjun asks himself. There’s no rule for this, no rule for what to do if you turn out to be one of the species you’ve been raised to hunt.  _ Should I kill myself _ ? 

_ That won’t do,  _ the voice in his head starts up. 

Yeonjun screams, arches his back against the confines of the rope wrapped around him as he can’t deal with the fact that there’s another voice in his head that’s not his. He thrashes his body around, wails and cries as his worst nightmare that he didn’t even know was his worst nightmare came true. 

_ It’s not just your head, I’m a part of you, we are one.  _ There it is again and Yeonjun doesn’t want it. 

“Get it out! Get it out! Get! It! Out!” Yeonjun throws his head back and forth, side to side, wants it out of his head, wants it out completely. He tolerated it at first, when he was younger, ignored it for a long time until it went away, so why the hell is it back? 

Soobin and Namjoon are panicking. Yeonjun is going crazy and neither can understand why nor know how to fix it. 

“Soobin, don’t just let him-do that! Help him!” Namjoon points at Yeonjun as he flounders and cries and screams. 

“What?” Soobin looks at the head alpha. “I don’t know what to do! What if he gets worse when I try?” 

Namjoon sighs and rubs a hand over his forehead. “Soobin, I don’t know, just try, he’s your mate and he’s-he’s suffering. Try your best, Soobin, please, just try.” 

Gulping, Soobin looks down, a pang of hurt hitting his heart as he watches his mate whipping around, throwing his head violently, screaming, sobbing, wailing, crying out for someone to get something out of somewhere, but Soobin can only look on with pity and no knowledge to what he was referring too.

But like Namjoon said, even though they just found each other, Soobin has to try, so that’s what he does. Falling to his knees, he wraps his arms around his mate and picks up his struggling body, trying his best to hold him tight. He places a hand on the back of his neck and pushes their foreheads together, closing his eyes and clutching him in a firm grip. 

And he starts singing. “The little wolf runs out at night, the wind, the storm, the weather,” it’s an old song his mother used to sing with him when he was just a little pup, it used to calm him down, so he’s hoping it’ll calm down his distressed mate, “the big ol’ trees gave him quite the scare, so the pup kept running away, his mother called, and she called and called, and the pup found his way.” 

After singing the same song three times, his mate, to his surprise, calms down a bit, and his eyes flutter open, but once they land on Soobin, Yeonjun is shocked right back into freaking out. “Let me go!” He writhes, flails harshly, screaming and continuing to cry, “Get it out of my head! Please, make it stop!” He’s crying, hard, sobbing, his face scrunched up almost painfully as waves and waves of tears push out of his tear ducts. 

Soobin tries his best to control Yeonjun’s body movements, he might end up hurting himself if he continues on like this. “Please, please, mate, please calm down. It’s okay, it’s okay.” Soobin pleads with him, bringing a hand up to his cheek and wiping at the tears. 

Yeonjun feels exhausted, his erratic movements slowing down until they eventually cease, Yeonjun letting out pathetic whines - which now does have an animalistic undertone to it that wasn’t there before. “Please, stop it. I-I-I’m not a-a monster.” 

Bringing up his hand, Soobin pets back tendrils and stares at Yeonjun’s beautiful face, the face of his mate. Hearing the pleas coming from his soft, plush lips breaks Soobin’s heart and he wants to do everything he can to see him happy, to make him feel happy, and would do anything just to make him stop crying in the moment. 

“Shh, mate, it’s okay, calm down for me.” Soobin tries to soothe him, brushing his finger tips against his cheek. 

Yeonjun cries simply because he has to face the facts, he is a werewolf. Yeonjun has only ever cried three times in his life before this, each time was after the three worst punishments given to him by the agency, nothing else. It’s all bottled up emotions coming out now, it’s so hard to be perfect, so hard to be the star boy, but he can’t not be perfect, he can’t relax, not for one second, not the way the agency taught him. Relaxing leads to laziness and laziness leads to more failure, which means punishment from the agency. 

All the insultingly rude names they apply to him, all the jokes, he’s become the butt of all of them, his world has been completely flipped upside down and Yeonjun doesn’t want to deal with it or accept it, but he has too, just like he had to accept all the teachings and the punishments and the tests, the physical, mental, emotional tests that broke him down and built him back up, rearranged him. 

“I don’t wanna be one of you.” Yeonjun whispers out with a fragile voice, cracks and breaks making it barely audible. 

“I’m sorry, mate.”

+++

Yeonjun knocked himself out crying, having fainted because of exhaustion, and Soobin has been holding him ever since. 

“Soobin,” Namjoon says, placing a hand on his shoulder. “We have to go, we can’t wait for the other hunters that are going to come for him.” 

“We-we’re not leaving him here right? Because, if-if he stays, I’m staying.” Soobin is already defiant against his alpha, pulling Yeonjun closer into his chest, staring at him worriedly. 

Namjoon sighs, he feels like he’s been doing a lot of that. “No, Soobin, he’s coming with us. He’s your mate, so we have to bring him and hopefully we can teach him how to be one of us. Save him from himself almost.” 

Soobin nods and gets up, bending down to pick him up bridal style while still tied by the rope. “Can we untie him? Or at least just tie his hands and feet?” 

Namjoon sighs once more but nods in agreement, has Soobin set him down and then get to work on untying his body. They fix the rope the preferred way, binding Yeonjun’s hands and feet together tightly, and Soobin is back to carrying him bridal style, both walking out of the tent. 

The hunting team has come back with food for the journey since they must burn the leftover food as an offering to the moon goddess for allowing them this spot of land to live on. Everyone in the village is in a rush, quickly disassembling the tents, pulling down animal skins, needed clothing, supplies, materials, even toys. Nothing can be left, only the spot where they burned the leftover food in a fire. 

Soobin heads over to his younger brother with Yeonjun in his arms while Namjoon goes over to his mate. Hyuka is playing with some weird contraption and Soobin gives him a look. 

“Huening, where did you get that?” 

“Oh, um,” Huening Kai hides it behind his back as if Soobin wasn’t just blatantly staring at it, “nothing?” 

“Hyuka?” Soobin warns threateningly, furrowing his brows and waiting expectantly. 

Huening Kai huffs and pulls it out. “I took it from that guy’s bag.” He points at the limp body in Soobin’s arms. 

“Kai, you know that’s not okay, you shouldn’t take other people’s belongings, plus the alpha won’t let you keep any of that. It’s all from the human world. Unless it's a necessity, we have to give it to him and our Luna.” Soobin scolds, readjusting Yeonjun so he’s huddled closer to his neck. 

“Soobinnie,” there it is, Soobin knew he would start whining, “I already learned a cool trick on it, see, see?” Huening Kai proceeds to flick out a sharp piece, almost like a knife with a weird indent in it, from the red oval shaped contraption. 

Soobin opens one of his palms and signals for Kai to give it to him with his eyes. He doesn’t have to say anything, the moment he’s signalled to, Kai is obediently placing the object in his hand with a defeated look. “Where’s the rest of the bag?” 

“That was the only thing I managed to snatch before Hoseok took it to give to the head alpha.” 

“Okay.” Soobin replies and parts from his little brother to hand it back to their alpha. 

Namjoon nods when he sees Soobin approaching, Soobin bowing his head in respect, and he presents the alpha with the instrument, explaining right away. “Kai took this from my mate’s bag.” 

“Oh, thank you, Soobin. I’ll definitely put it in there.” Namjoon holds onto the object firmly. 

Soobin finds himself speaking before he can overthink the thought. “Did you go through the bag?” 

Namjoon raises an eyebrow suspiciously at Soobin. “Why?” 

“I was just thinking that maybe there’s an identification card for him in there? I’m not sure though, I just know humans tend to carry them around.” 

“No, we haven’t gone through it, but I’ll have Hoseok check for an ID. Also, take this.” Namjoon hands him a cloth. 

Soobin eyes it in confusion. “What’s this for?” 

“I want you to cover his eyes, that way he won’t know where we are if he wakes up. I know he’s your mate and all, Soobin, but we still have to be careful, he’s still our enemy.” Namjoon firmly states. 

“I understand.” Soobin smiles, dimples and all. “Thank you, Alpha.” 

Maneuvering his mate’s body, he stands him up and leans him against his own tall frame, securing the cloth over Yeonjun’s eyes as a blind fold in front of the head alpha.

With the small tip of his head in respect, Soobin picks up Yeonjun once more and rejoins his family as they finish packing, readjusting Yeonjun in his arms and getting him comfortable for the trip there. Carrying someone will take energy out of Soobin, but his mate can’t exactly do it himself, so he will persevere through the journey. It’ll take a bit of time to get there and there will be plenty of breaks for the pregnant omegas and for the children, so that’s reassuring to Soobin. 

Cradling his mate, Soobin carries him off to their destination as the whole pack starts the trek there, leaving behind a small group to burn the offering before joining them. 

+++

Yeonjun wakes up eventually, but he can feel how he’s being carried and how they’re going somewhere. He opens his eyes and it’s still dark, which is very concerning for him, so he reaches up with his now tied hands - taking in the fact that his body wasn’t coiled in rope anymore - and felt his face, clutching the fabric over his eyes and pulling it off his face. 

The first person he sees is the one guy from the tent, Soobin. Soobin is carrying him as he walks and damn Yeonjun if he doesn’t stop staring, his facial features only accentuated by the angle. 

Once he breaks his gaze away from Soobin’s face, he observes the environment around them. Wolves are walking at the same pace, faster, slower, slightly slower, slightly faster, carrying a variety of items that Yeonjun vaguely recognizes as the tents and other items. They’re hiking in a different part of the forest, the trees, the bushes, the plants surrounding them are changing, and that’s when it all finally dawns on him.  _ They’re moving _ . 

“What the hell?” Yeonjun whispers to himself, but Soobin must hear him because he glances down at him, nerves painted across his face, eyes wide and panicked. “Where are we going?” 

“We’re moving.” Comes Soobin’s curt response. 

Yeonjun huffs out of his nose and rolls his eyes. “Well, I got that part, but where?” 

“Don’t worry about that now, Yeonjun.” 

Yeonjun opens his mouth with a reply when his mind fully processes the words and catches something within Soobin’s sentence. “I never told you my name.” He says slowly and with his eyes narrowing into a glare. 

Guilt, it shone as brightly as the sun on Soobin’s face. Yeonjun uses his tied hands to hit Soobin in the chest hard enough to roll out of his arms, though he forgot to take into account the fact that his feet were tied, meaning no running away for Yeonjun. He lands on his feet, but he barely has any balance with his hands and feet tied, so in an attempt wiggle and keep himself up with the lack of equilibrium, he ends up on the ground, face planting with a loud grunt that’s forced out of his chest from the exertion of energy and how hard he hit the ground. 

Soobin stumbles back a few steps, but catches himself before he can fall, bending down and scooping up Yeonjun once again while fussing over his fall. “Are you okay?” 

Yeonjun, much like before, begins thrashing and flailing in Soobin’s arms so that he’ll drop him, having missed the clear opportunity he had to crawl or inch away. “Let me go!” 

He’s not sure if he made it up or not, but he thinks he hears Soobin mumble, “I’m sorry for this,” before his voice gets deeper, more conviction, more authority implanted in it as he speaks to Yeonjun again. “Stop it, omega.” 

And much to Yeonjun’s surprise, he complies, head tilted down in submission and his body immediately falling limp in Soobin’s arms. Widened eyes and his jaw dropped open in shock, Yeonjun can’t believe what Soobin just did to him. He also can’t believe that he’s an omega, known as the weakest type of werewolf there is. 

Soobin used his “alpha tone” as they liked to call it among werewolves. It’s the tone used with not only mates that happen to be omegas, but any omega that hears it as well as betas that were either mated to an alpha or more submissive than regular betas. If the alpha is powerful enough and can pin another alpha into submission, it can even affect other alphas. It depends on the kind of people that have the power, some alphas use it to take advantage, some use it when absolutely needed, and some don’t use it at all, but you never know who you’re dealing with. 

That’s a rule,  _ Never assume nor underestimate the enemy, you never know who you’re going up against.  _ Maybe that’s why Yeonjun got caught. He broke that rule when he had taken down the younger wolf, already assumed victory, but he was dead wrong. 

Yeonjun tries to protest, but he can’t, can’t move his body like before, almost like he has no control over it. He whines pitifully, pathetically, as his body is still under the command of the alpha. 

_ Listen to our mate, he’s only taking care of us _ , the voice in his head says and Yeonjun is ready this time. 

_ Get the fuck out of my head! He’s not my mate, he’s not trying to take care of me, he’s trying to weaken me so he can take advantage of me,  _ Yeonjun responds, yelling in his mind while glaring at his own lap. 

_ You are so brainwashed! I tried to help you earlier, when you were a kid, but those vile people made you like this _ , this fucking thing has a personality and Yeonjun is not okay with that. 

So Yeonjun goes back to his earlier technique, he ignores the voice completely and instead he talks to Soobin. “Why does the fucking thing in my head have a whole personality? What the fuck did you people do to me?” 

Soobin glances down at Yeonjun, readjusting him in his arms. “You may raise your head.” Suddenly, Yeonjun can move his head, his neck unstuck from the position and he raises his head to glower at Soobin. “That’s your wolf, it’s kind of like a separate entity that lives within you. Once you shift, your wolf will take over and you’ll be more like the voice in the mind.” 

“I’m never fucking shifting.” Yeonjun growls out, but interrupts himself with a gasp when he hears the animal in it. It freaks him out a bit, but he puts it aside. “ _ Deus vult _ .” 

“What does that mean, mate?” 

“I’m not telling you and I’m not your mate.” 

Soobin huffs. “Time, mate, give me time, I’ll show you all I have to give you, all the love and care you deserve. You’ll get it from me, the moon goddess wishes that upon us.” 

“Your deity does not exist.” Yeonjun scoffs. 

Soobin smirks. “She brought you to me, she exists. Give me and my pack a chance, mate. You’ll see, it’ll be okay.” 

A feeling of defeat settles over Yeonjun and he says one more thing before he stays quiet the rest of the way. “It’s not like I can go back any way. I failed my mission, I broke the rules, and worst of all, I’m a werewolf. There’s no way I can go back, even if I wanted to.” It hurts to admit, but it’s the truth. 

  
It  _ really _ hurts to admit to himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	4. Chapter 4

Yeonjun feels disgusting, his clothing, his exposed skin, his everything is covered in mud and it’s dried. It’s been on him for the whole day and night, so now he’s got to ask Soobin if he can wash himself. 

Unfamiliarity surrounds Yeonjun because they moved while Yeonjun slept off his exhaustion after the tiring tantrum he threw back in the tent. Leaving the werewolves isn’t an option anymore, he’s one of them now, the agency won’t accept him back, he has nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to.

No money, no clothes, no belongings, no family, no home, loneliness is Yeonjun’s only company now. He can’t go back to his old life, can’t go back to what he knows, he’s forced to adjust and comply with the werewolves, especially since he is still their prisoner. 

He didn’t think about it before, but his mind suddenly goes back to the dream he had before waking up like...well, feeling like a werewolf. 

It was her, the head countess was there, in his memory with his parents,  _ the day _ his parents died. She saved him that day, picked him up and ran out with him, taking him to the agency so he could fulfill his life purpose, so he could get retribution for his parents. 

If he can figure out a way to contact her and let him know he’s alive, maybe, just maybe she’ll do it once more, she’ll save him once again like she did when he was a child. 

But how should he get to a phone? And what if she doesn’t understand and comes to kill him instead? What if she kills him in the most painful way possible? She saw what that deranged wolf did to his parents, her  _ friends _ , why would she spare another one? Even if she knew Yeonjun personally, what makes him think she’ll spare him? Yeonjun was the best in the academy and sure, he got a few extra, private lessons from her, but that doesn’t mean anything, she could’ve given anyone private lessons and he wouldn’t know. He can’t assume she’ll save him. 

_ You’re not calling anyone, _ the voice in his head replies to his endless thoughts. 

Yeonjun scoffs to himself, rolling his eyes.  _ Oh yes I will, watch me. _

_ You do know that I have the power to take control over your body _ ,  _ right? _ The voice says. 

_ Try me, you little omega bitch,  _ Yeonjun glares into his hands. 

_ Fuck you too, you little shit.  _

Yeonjun doesn’t continue communicating with the voice, annoyed at it. Yeonjun has full control over his body, unlike the rest of the werewolves here. The voice in his head will not get the best of him, he absolutely refuses letting that little...demon have control over his body. 

Yeonjun stops brooding and looks up from where he was looking at his hands, noticing that they found a clearing next to yet another body of water, a river with a heavy current, and it looked so freeing, so beautiful. He immediately wanted to be in it. 

“Soobin?” Yeonjun calls his name. 

Soobin looks at him and smiles sweetly. It does something to Yeonjun’s heart, tugs at the strings, makes a constant poking feeling happen in his stomach - what do they call that? Butterflies? If those butterflies had razor claws then maybe that would be an accurate description of how he feels. “Yes, mate?” 

“Um...I’m dirty, I want to go to the river. Take me there.” Asking for things is not Yeonjun’s forte and he’s not ready to give his trust and respect, like he did to his teachers, to something he was taught to despise. 

“Once I finish helping my family, okay? For now, I’m going to leave you with the head alpha.” 

Yeonjun shakes his head vehemently and grips onto him with his tied hands. “No! Please-” Yeonjun couldn’t believe how desperate he sounded, but he didn’t want to see that head alpha, Soobin was much easier to be around, “I-I want to stay here...with you.” Yeonjun lies to Soobin -  _ half lies _ , supplies the voice - and he stares Soobin dead in the eye. 

Soobin seems to break under the simple gaze, a sweet smile blooming across his lips, his dimples popping out. “Okay, but you have to promise me that you won’t try to run.”    
  


“Where would I go? I told you, I can’t go back to the agency.” 

Soobin nods and sets Yeonjun down next to where his family was setting up their tent, sitting with his arms between his legs and trying to ignore the weary stares he’s getting from Soobin’s family. 

Yeonjun debates his options. Should he really stay here and try to live and make peace with the werewolves? Should he attempt to call the agency and hide his secret? Should he call the head countess, explain himself, and ask her to save him like she did when he was a child? 

It’s hard to pick, these werewolves - though it pains Yeonjun to admit - are nice and compassionate, they haven’t killed him yet and Soobin even tried to console him when he was freaking out about being a werewolf himself. Were his teachings...could they be wrong about some werewolves?   
  


Yeonjun feels sick to his stomach thinking that. If they caught him thinking or talking like that at the agency, they would’ve shot him on site, no hesitation. Of course the teachings are right, he saw for himself what werewolves could do and what they use their supernatural powers for, so doubt shouldn’t even be crossing his mind. 

But he’s a werewolf...and all he’s ever killed are werewolves, he’s never killed a human before. Where does that leave him? 

He’ll probably end up like the wolf that killed his father and mother, he’ll end up feeding off of humans once he goes crazy, he’ll end up hurting people eventually once the werewolves finally break him and enter his mind. They’re already infiltrating with that voice in his head. 

The werewolves did this to him, it’s all their fault.

But he’s had the voice in his mind ever since he was younger...well, that must’ve been a subconscious thing and then they used that subconscious voice and made it into what’s supposedly his “wolf”. It’s all bullshit.

Yeonjun feels heat crawling underneath his skin as the fire boils in his belly, it’s hot and bubbling over, splashing blistering heat over his head and his heart. He can’t believe he almost gave up his teachings for some werewolf bullshit, he’s better than that. When did he become so weak? 

A hand presses onto Yeonjun’s shoulder and Yeonjun moves his burning glare to Soobin from where he had it on the ground. Soobin almost jumps at the look, startled because Yeonjun wasn’t looking at him like that earlier. “Um, I-I’m free to head down to the river, um, if you want to go now.” 

“Take me.” Yeonjun stops glaring because he doesn’t want to scare Soobin away -  _ liar _ , the voice in his head calls him on it - and he waits to be picked up by the tall werewolf. 

Soobin scoops him up in his arms once more and he heads down to the river. It’s a bit of walking, but not too much because they seem to make it in less than ten minutes. From their camp, you can see the river, however, it’s much farther away than the land leads on. 

Soobin sets him by the edge of the river, close enough to fill cupped hands with water and wash off his face and hair and whatever he can reach. 

“Are you hungry?” 

Yeonjun is confused by the question. “You’re going to feed me?” 

“Yes, why wouldn’t I? You’re my mate, I must keep you alive. I can only bring you so much right now, but once you’re in our tent, I’ll go hunting for you. Bring you back a rabbit or something.” 

“Oh.” 

With that response, Soobin wanders out of sight and Yeonjun turns back to the current of the rushing river. Placing his hands in the water, Yeonjun first rubs off the mud from his hands, then proceeds to cup his hands and bring water to his face, scrubbing at the dirt stuck there, rubs at all the exposed skin he can reach, which is, thankfully, every revealed part covered in mud, and runs both hands through his hair, pulling the water through the dyed yellow strands and tugging out the hard bits of muck. 

Soobin hasn’t returned yet, so Yeonjun takes the opportunity to look around himself. The trees are lush green, the bushes light green, the grass tall and plush, the soil he sits upon is nutrient rich and he can tell by the way it soaks into his pants, wet from the river’s nurturing ways. It’s beguiling, truly, and Yeonjun can’t get enough. 

Then Yeonjun’s eyes land on a stick laying next to him, the end sharp as if it’s other half had been torn off recklessly. He reaches for it, takes it between trembling hands and stares at the sharp, pointy end. 

This is it, he has the power, he has the control, the control on whether he lives or dies in the next couple moments or so. It would be so easy,  _ too _ easy, a puncture wound to the right organ and Yeonjun would bleed out within a couple minutes, or he could make it slow for himself, torturous yet fulfilling as he waits for Soobin to come back and witness him dying, watching as Soobin, in turn, starts dying because his mate would be gone within a slow couple of minutes and he could do nothing to stop it. 

He points the pointy end towards his stomach, holding it away from him, but holds it as if he’s ready to stab it into himself, stares at it intensely, watches, waits, listens, just in case Soobin comes back, trembling at the prospect of taking his own life. Yeonjun isn’t afraid of death like he’s stated before, but dying in a painful way is not the preferred way to leave this cruel world and all that was in it. 

So easy, all he has to do is press it hard enough to break the skin, break through the protective layer, the barrier, the guardian of his body, pierce through a vital organ or two and it’ll be over. 

Inches become centimeters as Yeonjun brings the harmful tool nature provided to his stomach area, pressing it against his shirt, pressing it hard enough to feel through the material, pressing it hard enough to  _ hurt _ . All he has to do is plunge it in. 

“Yeonjun! I found some berries that I-” Soobin stops talking when he sees the position he’s in. Head raised to the sky, eyes closed, hands clutching a sharp piece of wood, the wood poking at his abdomen. It’s obvious what he’s about to do, but Soobin questions it anyway, “What are you doing?” 

Yeonjun opens his eyes, lets out a breath, and, with both hands shaking, releases the stick from his grasp. “Nothing.” He breathes. 

It wasn’t nothing, Soobin saw him, saw what he was about to do, saw what he looked like he wanted to do. “Don’t lie to me, please.” 

“Nothing.” 

“You were about to take your own life.” 

“So?” 

“Why? I-I trusted you, I left you alone and you were about to-” 

“Kill myself?” Yeonjun looks over at Soobin with dead, emotionless eyes. “Yeah, I was.” 

And with that, he turns his head to watch as the river rapidly makes it’s way past the soil, lapping, shaving, taking anything it can along the way. 

+++

The silence consumes Soobin, taking away his voice, a devastated expression showing clearly on his face while they walk back to their new tent. 

Eyes attached to them, Yeonjun feels uncomfortable with the amount of stares they’re getting as they make their way through the village, and it isn’t hard to find their reasoning as to why all the wolves are watching him. 

“Can you hurry up?” He rushes Soobin, but Soobin isn’t paying attention, doesn’t even hear him. “Soobin, I said hurry up.” He says harshly, glaring at the werewolf.

Still nothing, Soobin stares ahead and takes his sweet time getting to their tent. 

Yeonjun huffs, turning away from him as if to ignore him. Silence continues to surround Soobin’s being and Yeonjun gets irritated. “My god, you dumb werewolf, I said  _ hurry up _ .” 

This time, surprise captures Yeonjun when Soobin turns angry, glowering eyes towards Yeonjun. “Insulting me like that isn’t going to get you what you want. I’m already upset and you think you can boss me around? You are sorely mistaken, Yeonjun.” 

Fire truck red pulses in Soobin’s iris, the alpha within him is not happy with Yeonjun at all. The devoted mate Yeonjun has gotten to know is gone, only a firm alpha left in his place. Soobin’s kindness drained away and Yeonjun is the reason why. 

But Yeonjun is stubborn, glares right back, glares challengingly which he admits is not the smartest idea he’s had. “Don’t glare at me.” 

“Don’t talk to me like that, omega.” 

Yeonjun flinches,  _ flinches _ , his resolve breaking as he can barely hold the challenging staring contest. Yeonjun’s brown eyes are no match for Soobin’s red ones, Yeonjun’s heart racing, his breathing uneven, and at one point, Yeonjun’s letting out a weak, pathetic whimper as he tries to hold it, hold it longer than any normal omega would be able to with an alpha, let alone their alpha mate. 

Growling, Yeonjun turns his head away, breaking the challenge, the overwhelming failure washing over him in constant ways of embarrassment. Soobin makes it to the tent, but it looks the same as the tent they kept him in when they first took Yeonjun hostage. 

“I-I thought you said we would have our own tent.” Yeonjun scrutinizes Soobin’s stony, cold expression. “You  _ lied _ to me.” 

“This is temporarily our tent until I can catch enough animals to skin so we can make our own. So this is ours for now.” Soobin heads inside and sets Yeonjun down on the soft furs. “I can’t trust you alone for too long, so I’m asking the Alpha to send someone over to watch you.” 

Yeonjun glares while Soobin exits again. There’s nothing for Yeonjun to do but wait and wait, until another werewolf comes to the tent, sitting down in front of him. 

“So, I see you’re not having a fun time tied up like that.” The werewolf tilts his head, a small, teasing smile on his face. “I’m Taehyung, and Soobin said you’re Yeonjun. It’s nice to meet you, Yeonjun.” 

“I can’t say the same.” 

“Well, I thought, why not get to know each other?” Taehyun offers, smiling a wide, boxy smile. “Um, my job is to take care of the orphaned children and I’m also a teacher for the omegas, I teach how to clean the animal skins, how to make the food, how to deal with pregnancy along with my mate, who’s a doctor for the pregnant omegas, and I teach how to take care of children. So I teach adults and children, and watch over the orphans, pretty much every day.” 

“Are you sure you want to know what my occupation is?” Yeonjun looks at him, eyes him testingly. Taehyung nods his head. “I hunt werewolves.” 

Taehyung snorts a laugh. “Ah, I see. But from what I’ve heard, it turns out you’re a little wolfie as well.” He’s taunting him, he’s  _ playing _ with Yeonjun. “I can smell it on you,  _ omega _ .” He emphasizes the word in a singsong way, laughing after he said it. “Though I do have a couple questions for you, if you don’t mind me asking.” 

“I mind.” Yeonjun tries to shut him down, but Taehyung keeps going. 

“Why do you hate werewolves?” Taehyung isn’t deterred by Yeonjun. 

“Werewolves are ruthless abominations that kill humans for no good reason.” Yeonjun supplies immediately in reply, wanting to defend his values and the agency. 

Taehyung purses his lips and nods. “Oh, right, right. But if we’re ‘ruthless’ and we ‘kill for no good reason’ then why are you still alive?” 

“Because I turned out to be one of you. I don’t know what you did to me, but you did something.” Yeonjun glares at him, but Taehyung remains unfazed. 

“Listen to me, babe, trust me, there is only one way to become a werewolf. You are born from two werewolf parents. Werewolves do not mate out of their race, the moon goddess has forbidden it. And even if they do fall in love with humans, the moon goddess does not bless those with children.” Taehyung keeps eye contact with Yeonjun, doesn’t have to glare like Yeonjun to be intimidating, to show his dislike for the male. “We do not live in the human world, thus meaning we do not have the technology to concoct some special science liquid or magical potion to make humans into werewolves. I don’t think we’d want to either.” 

Yeonjun rolls his eyes. “You’re bad, all of you. Evil.”    
  
“That must make you “evil” as well. You, after all, are a werewolf.” Taehyun points out helpfully. 

“I’m different.” 

“What makes you so special, Mr. Hotshot?” 

“I was raised by humans, they taught me the true evil your kind is.” Yeonjun replies. 

“Right, because humans are the most righteous, most innocent creatures on the Earth, not like they’ve killed or raped or hurt other beings.” Taehyung rolls his eyes with the sarcastic remark. “Have you ever studied werewolves?” 

“Of course I have, how would I know-” 

“No, not the studying where they provide you with false information, I mean lived with them, observed them, witnessed what they have and haven’t done?” 

“I would’ve been killed if I did that.” Yeonjun tilts his head, glaring at Taehyung’s attitude. He doesn’t like this omega. 

Taehyung sighs and shakes his head. “Let me give you a scenario. Someone is running at you with a knife or some kind of weapon, human or werewolf, doesn’t matter. What would you do if that person tries to kill you even though you don’t know them?” 

“I’d fight back, kill them if I’d have to.” 

Taehyung smiles at him, it’s friendly, but it’s fake. “So what do you think a bunch of werewolves are going to do when someone comes at one of their own, someone they don’t know tries to kill one of their loved ones?” 

Yeonjun is quiet, head down. He won’t admit he’s wrong, he’s too stubborn for that and he won’t let him denounce his teachings. 

“That’s what I thought.” Taehyung says. “Look, Yeonjun, all I want you to do is use that head of yours to realize that we aren’t here to be evil. We just want to live. Live our goddess given lives because we are here and we are here for a reason. There are going to be bad werewolves and good werewolves, just like there are bad humans and good humans.” 

There it is again, that little niggling of guilt hitting his heart, squirming uncomfortably in his chest, eating away at him. Doubt accompanies it, creeping into his mind, questioning, getting a firm grip over Yeonjun’s mind, throwing out the rule book that he’s lived by, throwing out the rationality implanted by the agency. So he stays quiet, closes himself off, shuts down. 

“One day, I’m gonna let you meet the orphans. Maybe even the children I teach. And I’ll warn you now, try to hurt any one of them, I’ll kill you faster than you can even think to move.” Taehyung threatens. “I may be an omega and I’m sure you figured that out when I came in, but I don’t care how much strength you have, when it comes to the children, you won’t lay a finger on them.” 

“I’m gonna nap.” Yeonjun whispers and he lays himself down, turning his back to Taehyung as best he can, and closes his eyes, tuning out the world so he can have a peaceful rest. 

+++

_ Dark surrounds him, trees swaying because of the breezy night, branches rustling, animals scuttering under the protection of the night. It’s cool, not cold, but cool enough to give Yeonjun a shiver down his spine while he watches the fires for warmth and light get put out in the werewolf village.  _

_ He ducks behind bushes, underneath trees, sneaks around so that he can set the fires to each individual hut and leave to hide in the cave he found earlier.  _

_ Yeonjun first goes around the front, tying the flaps of the entrance together. He does it to all of them, however, when he gets to the last tent, he’s about to close the flaps when something shifts behind the flap and he freezes.  _

_ “Who are you?” A tiny voice comes from behind the flaps. He’s a shadow, his body the only thing revealed to the small child.  _

_ “Nobody.” He responds quietly. “Sleep, child, it’ll lessen the pain. Sleep.”  _

_ “Okay.” Comes the child’s voice in response. Little snores soon come through the gap and Yeonjun lets out a sigh, he’s not sure whether it's out of relief or some other emotion brewing in the pit of his stomach.  _

_ He finishes tying up the last tent, getting gasoline and as quietly as possible, he trails it around the front and along the backs of the tents, grabbing out matches the moment he’s done. Yeonjun holds his breath once he strikes the match, watches the fire flicker back and forth, his mind going back to the child, doubting, distrusting of his knowledge, hesitating.  _

Always abide by the rules, never doubt the agency, consequences will be given to those who break the rules,  _ that’s another rule and Yeonjun lives by the rules, dropping the match, the whole place going up in flames.  _

_ Yeonjun turns around and runs away, ignores the waking cries and the smell of burning flesh, ignores the images of the small child losing their life.  _

+++

Yeonjun wakes up in tears, salty waste traveling down his cheeks, falling as he feels it, feels the guilt consuming his heart, consuming his mind. He’s felt these feelings before at the agency, but Yeonjun could never cry, crying leaves too many traces, shows guilt, remorse, feelings in general, weakness. 

He brings his tied hands up to his face, feels the tears, stares at them tainting his skin. Steeling his face, his mind, removing the remorse, the guilt, the anguish within him and showing on his face, Yeonjun thinks about how it’s not him, he shouldn’t be thinking like this, the agency will  _ know _ , the agency will have his head for this. 

Yeonjun doesn’t cry, won’t cry. The werewolves are bad, their logic, their reasoning, it’s all messed up and made up to mess with his head. Yeonjun will not allow it, he will block it from his mind, not listen. 

  
The agency is always right. No matter what, they are  _ always _ right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik it's a little slow right now, but it's gonna get better I promise ;)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	5. Chapter 5

“Why did you try to kill yourself?” 

“What do I have to live for?” 

It’s Yeonjun’s immediate reply to Soobin’s abrupt, out of the blue question once he comes back from hunting. Soobin pauses as he thinks of a reply. 

“...Me? I am your mate. I’m gonna take care of you and love you like no other has.” 

“But you’re a werewolf and I don’t like werewolves. I don’t want a mate, I don’t need one.” 

Soobin’s face falls as he sets down the basket with the dead rabbit he brought. 

“Well, you got me anyway.” 

Yeonjun stays quiet, is unsure about what to say back, doesn’t want to think about it, doesn’t want to think about any of it. So he keeps his trap shut, says nothing in reply. 

“Do you wanna go down to the river again? My friends invited me.” 

“They invited you, not me.” 

“But you’re my mate, and I’m inviting you to come along. Maybe we could have some fun.” 

“How could I have fun like this?” Yeonjun holds up his tied hands. 

Soobin shrugs. “I-I don’t know. But I can’t take them off of you until I can trust you. But at least...you’ll be getting outside?” 

“What about food?” 

“It’ll take a bit to prepare. Are you that hungry?” Yeonjun shakes his head. “We can eat when we get back then.”

Yeonjun mulls over his response and sighs. “Fine, I’ll go. Only to get outside, not to hang out with your stupid friends.” 

Soobin looks crestfallen at his rude remark but doesn’t comment, instead he tries his best to pin up a smile and moves over to pick him up, walking out of their tent and making their way across the yard.

Yeonjun stares down at his lap, doesn’t say anything to Soobin, ignores the stares he’s receiving from the wolf pack surrounding him. He wants to tell Soobin to hurry the fuck up so these wolves will stop watching him as if he’s going to break out of the rope any second. 

Though can’t really blame them, he is dangerous, they’re lucky he hasn’t found anything sharp yet to cut himself free. They’re lucky he isn’t one of those people to break limbs just to escape, he’ll find a way eventually, though he still doesn’t know what he’ll escape to if he does. 

There’s already wolves there, the pregnant omega doctor with his mate as well as the boy he tried to kill. Soobin must not have a lot of friends, not like Yeonjun could speak on it, at the agency being friends with anyone isn’t a thing. They don’t have time for friends when all their time and energy should be focused on how to improve their skills and how to get rid of the werewolves. 

_ Don’t rely on anyone, but the agency, not even yourself _ , the ingrained rule shows behind his eyelids while he’s on the subject of friends. The agency is all he’s known, all he’s ever had that’s close to a family. Even then, you weren’t supposed to think of it as a family. No friends, no one you’re close to but the intelligence of the agency, all one can rely on, all one can lean on for support. 

“Yeonjun, mate, we’re here.” Soobin points out to him as they draw closer and closer to his group of friends. 

“I don’t want to be near you and your friends. Seat me away from them.” Yeonjun demands, not even thinking about trying to be polite. 

He can hear the disapproval in the small growl growing in Soobin’s chest, but he seems to push it down and comply with Yeonjun, seating him on the soil not too far away from him and his friends. “I’ll be watching you, Yeonjun.” 

Yeonjun doesn’t care, just brings his legs into his chest and loops his arms around them as best he can, staring into the nothingness of the river. With a sigh, he hears Soobin leaving him to go along with his friends, can feel how he constantly glances back at him. 

The river runs, the current flows and bumps, the sound bouncing around playfully, mixing and mingling with the noise coming from Soobin and his friends as well as some children that have gone on the other side of the river with their parents. It’s peaceful and calming to Yeonjun, takes away from the current life predicament he’s in, letting it all go for the moment to actually enjoy himself since he’s allowed to, because no one is telling him he can’t. 

Yeonjun has never truly let go, never truly relaxed, never truly stopped being alert and hypersensitive, his training never allowed him to. It’s for the good of the agency and Yeonjun’s own good to be alert and aware of everything that surrounds him. Anything can happen, so Yeonjun  _ must _ be prepared for even the most unexpected set of happenings. 

_ Always be alert, aware, and conscious of your surroundings,  _ the rule recites itself in his brain, a reminder, almost as if the agency thought he needed it at the moment.  _ Expect the unexpected _ , is another one that comes up. The two rules go hand in hand, can’t know one without the other, it helped with memorizing both rules along with the rest of them. 

The day he first received the rule book illustrates itself in his mind, remembering everything down to the last detail. A simple black book with many pages, unnumbered pages so Yeonjun doesn’t actually know how many rules were in it. All it held were rules. 

The students in the program were required to learn five rules a day. The day after, during their lesson, they would be tested on the rules. If any one of the rules were wrong, the students would be escorted out of the room and straight to the punishment rooms. All the rules were recited in private, they couldn’t have anyone cheating. Word for word, letter for letter, they had to memorize it exactly as it was in the book.

Yeonjun once remembered one wrong, was dragged into the punishment room the moment after he got it wrong. Shivers travel down his spine. No punishments could rival the punishments served by the agency.    
  
That day alone traumatized Yeonjun, that was one of the times he cried and the moment he realize he must do everything perfectly, memorize everything to a tee, execute fighting moves to the best of his ability and more because he could never go through those punishments ever again, could never feel pain like that ever again. 

Unbearable pain doesn’t even begin to describe it, it was borderline torture. Yeonjun can’t think of it, has to shut it out of his brain, put it away because he couldn’t deal with the mere memory. The pain lingers,  _ lingers _ , when he thinks about it, the ache in his bones, the fear seizing his chest can tell it all. 

Their motivation was the avoidance of pain and it worked very well for the students in the program. But the agency always made sure to tell them that it was their fault for feeling the pain, they could have better pain tolerance, that’s why they had to do it, that’s why they had to put them through the pain. That or because they couldn’t follow simple rules put in place to make them the best version of themselves, to embrace their discipline and enhance their fighting skills, all they had to do was give their all and more. 

And they were right, Yeonjun follows the rules to be the best he can be, to motivate himself to keep doing good for the world, to fulfill his purpose and be his best self whenever he’s out in the field. The agency did that for him, he’s grateful to them for helping him train to fulfill his life purpose, what he was meant to do. 

Yeonjun feels a gaze lingering upon him and he’s surprised to find that it’s not Soobin staring at him, it’s the kid he almost killed before he was captured. Huening Kai, he’s heard from the head alpha and Soobin himself. 

Their eyes meet, but the kid doesn’t back down, just continues to stare until his attention is pulled from Yeonjun by the beta Yeonjun met when he was getting a check up from Taehyun. He couldn’t be bothered to think of his name at the moment, though, so he turned back to what he was doing. 

Yeonjun purses his lips, he doesn’t want to think about the agency right now, so he chooses to look around, admiring the wild life and the flora. He spots a trail that if Yeonjun’s feet weren’t tied, he’d wander around and see where it leads to. 

He glances over at Soobin and his friends, makes eye contact with Soobin before the alpha turns back to his friends. In a split second decision, Yeonjun throws himself to the ground and starts crawling and inching his way to the trail. It’s close, luckily, so Yeonjun’s able to scoot himself up to a tree, out of sight of Soobin and his friends. 

Using his hands, Yeonjun pushes himself up and back onto his butt, attaches his hands to the tree beside him next and uses it to help him stand. He uses the tree to keep him balanced and upright, almost like a crutch would. The trees are close enough together so that Yeonjun can hop and keep himself up, following the trail. 

Calls of his names tell him that Soobin and his friends have found that he left. He has no choice but to hurry his hops, speeding it up but being careful enough not to tip over the wrong way. He’s able to make it far enough that the calls to him are fading though he knows it’ll be soon enough when the dumb werewolves realize they have super sensitive noses and can trace his scent. 

There’s a challenging incline ahead and it takes a lot of effort just to make it up, but he does, eventually, make it up and he continues hopping through the burn in his tired legs. It’s overexerting the way he has to use his body, but it’s the only way Yeonjun can do it, so he goes along with it, ignores the lactic acid fermentation processing it’s way through his body, at least up until he can’t take it anymore and falls from the consistent hopping. 

Yeonjun falls heavily and with a grunt smacked from his lungs by the sheer impact of him hitting the ground, he pants like a dog and rests his body so that it can regain the energy needed to help Yeonjun back up on his feet again. 

Once again, Yeonjun pushes himself up and gets his tied feet under him, falling back so he can land on his butt next to the tree, taking deep breaths to catch his breath. 

Suddenly a roar sounds from beside him and Yeonjun whips his head around, eyes wide while he spots a bear coming his way - no,  _ charging _ at him - with fiery eyes and a snarling mouth. 

Yeonjun moves as quickly as he can while tied up, placing his hands on the tree beside him and pulling himself up to attempt hopping away from it. He leaps to the left, but sees the mistakes he’s made once the bear automatically shifts directions and follows him. 

It prowls closer to him, growling and roaring loudly at him. At one point, Yeonjun falls on his back, having jumped backwards and slipping on a branch. He recovers rapidly and looks up to see the bear closer than it was before, dribbling at the mouth, snarling low in its chest, the beast moving closer and closer before it hops up on its hind legs only to fall with his claws on Yeonjun’s stomach, digging in and puncturing the skin. 

“Ah!” Yeonjun cries out his arms raised above his head as the claws dig and dig. It’s not as bad as he’s felt before but it burns where the enormous black claws break through layers of skin and get closer and closer to piercing a couple vital organs within him. 

Yeonjun can’t help but think this is it, he’s going to die here, he’s going to die getting eaten by this bear just like what happened to his parents when he was a little boy. He gulps nervously, watches as the bear brings it’s snarling mouth closer, it’s large incisors snapping close to his jugular.

“Yeonjun!” Comes a voice from beside him. His vision is suddenly filled with wolves going at the bear, knocking the snarling beast off of Yeonjun. Hands clamp down on his raised arms and tug him backwards and Yeonjun looks behind himself to see Taehyun dragging him back with as much strength as he can muster. Yeonjun helps him, crawling away while looking back at who he assumes is Soobin, Huening Kai, and Beomgyu growling at the bear. 

All three wolves circle it threateningly, back it up into the trees even as it swings it’s big burly paws at them. One wolf snaps at the rear end while the other two snap at its feet, and, after a couple minutes of them taunting the bear, it falls back, one of the wolves darting out from behind it fast enough.    
  


The three wolves dash back over to where Taehyun has Yeonjun and Yeonjun watches as the second wolf’s eyes glaze over, then Taehyun’s do the same,  _ communicating _ . Mind link, they learned it at the agency, werewolves develop the mind link when they become mates officially, after their traditional ceremony and after they mark one another with a bite. 

Taehyun blinks his eyes and before he helps Yeonjun up, one of the wolves, Huening Kai, he presumes since he’s smaller in size, bites away the rope around Yeonjun’s feet so he can run better. 

“Come on, come on,” Taehyun rushes him up, seeing the bear starting to make its way back over to them. Yeonjun listens and scrambles up, him and Taehyun running with the wolves flanking them, following the trail back to the river. 

Yeonjun can feel the blood soaking his shirt and leaking down his stomach, burning and stinging every time Yeonjun makes an abrupt movement. He works through it, works through it even though he knows it isn’t what he should be doing because he’s losing blood as he physically exerts himself, the blood flowing right out of his body as he runs. It’s times like these he thanks god for his training that includes the pain. He’s not worrying either because it isn’t as bad as it could be and right now there’s a furious bear chasing them and Yeonjun doesn’t really have the time to worry about it. 

They make it out of the forest, onto the soil of the river bank, and glance back to see if the bear is still after them. To their immense luck, the bear stops at the edge of the forest, sending them off with another threatening growl before turning around and trekking into the forest. 

All of them slump in exhaustion, the wolves shifting back into their human form and Taehyun finding a tree stump to sit on, rubbing his pregnant stomach as he catches his breath. 

The prospect of escaping is on the table, but Yeonjun doesn’t try. Why? He’s too tired -  _ liar _ , the voice in his head replies - that and he doesn’t know where he would go. Without supplies and only a basic knowledge on berries, unlike the werewolves, he wouldn’t be able to survive. 

_ Stop lying to yourself, it benefits no one _ , the omega within him says. 

Yeonjun won’t admit it because he isn’t lying to himself. He’s always had supplies and items in a well made bag, of course he has improvised when he had clumsily forgotten an item, but improvising a whole bag of supplies? He wouldn’t be able to. It sucks, but it’s the truth. He’ll just have to figure out another way to get away, maybe find his bag and escape with that. 

“What were you doing in the forest, Yeonjun?” Asks a very angry and a very naked Soobin. 

“I saw the trail and wanted to see the forest, that’s it.” 

Soobin glares lightly, “You almost died, Yeonjun, what were you thinking? You could’ve asked me to go with you.” 

Yeonjun glares back. “I just wanted to do something since your friends didn’t want me there. Sitting got boring, so I wanted to walk around.” 

They glare at each other until Soobin’s face changes, falls with devastation painting itself over his pretty features. “You were trying to escape, weren’t you?”

No, truthfully, Yeonjun wasn’t trying to escape, and seeing Soobin’s face change so dramatically, to see what the thought of Yeonjun leaving did to him, made Yeonjun’s heart hurt, made him feel a similar feeling of devastation. But Yeonjun doesn’t want these feelings, doesn’t own up to them, instead he glares and sneers. “Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t.” 

“Knew we shouldn’t have saved your sorry ass.” Beomgyu spits from beside him, gets up and storms over to his pregnant mate, helps him up and starts leading him away. “You deserve much better than  _ that _ Soobin. Come on, Hyuka, come with us.” 

Huening Kai listens to the older beta and the three make their way back through the werewolf camp, leaving Soobin and Yeonjun alone. 

Soobin appears to be lost in thought, staring at Yeonjun, and taking slow breaths, his head tilted to the side, his eyes flashing a gloomy, broken-hearted emotion, tired lines and circles around and underneath his eyes. 

A pang to his heart, a different pain that Yeonjun’s never felt and it’s Soobin’s fault, so obviously Soobin’s fault for looking so pitiful, so pathetically sad and affected by Yeonjun’s actions. Yeonjun looks away, can’t bear to watch Soobin like this. 

“Let’s go back to the tent and I’ll get you a doctor.”

+++

_ The fabric over Yeonjun’s eyes is sheer enough for him to see the lights and that someone is standing in front of him, his wrists tied together around the back of the chair, his ankles tied to the legs of the chair. But that doesn’t matter, Yeonjun isn’t going to risk squirming, pleading, trying to break free from the restraints, this is the agency, one wrong move, and he’s dead.  _

_ Hissing and crackling comes from beside him and that’s when the panic sets in, that when his breathing speeds up, that’s when his arms start to press, to push against the tight rope, that’s when Yeonjun whimpers as the sound gets closer and closer to him.  _

_ A live wire, high enough voltage to hurt, but not to kill. He anticipates it, anticipates the pain, the heat that’s going to flow through his body.  _

_ However, it’s nothing like when it actually touches him. The sparks fly, his body jerks violently, heating his blood, sizzling his veins, frying his brain, drool dribbling it’s way out of his mouth, eyes rolling into the back of his head.  _

_ Aftershocks too, he’s still lurching, still spasming wildly, out of control, still jolting in the chair. He pants like a bitch in heat, spit running down the sides of his mouth. His body aches, twitches, repeated movements on the same body parts, his head falling forward and then lolling to the side.  _

_ One, two more shocks for Yeonjun, his eyesight blurring, focusing, then blurring and focusing again, in and out, his ears tuning in to the sound of footsteps and the crackling of the live wire. Sometimes it’s fuzzy, sometimes it isn’t, the sound coming out clear. He’s exhausted, the fight in his body draining from him.  _

_ He can’t hear the live wire anymore, they must’ve taken it away, but there’s more, there’s always more. It’s never over until they say it’s over, until they decide you’ve learned your lesson.  _

_ In their eyes, Yeonjun hasn’t learned yet. _

_ Footsteps draw nearer and nearer, and Yeonjun flinches when he feels hands untying his hands and feet, his body sagging in relief because the hands aren’t inflicting pain upon him.  _

_ Then there’s a hand in his hair, gripping tightly, forcing him up to his feet, dragging him along until they abruptly let go. Yeonjun falls to the floor, his arms and legs feeling like jelly, breaths coming in short, heart racing as he isn’t sure what’s going to happen.  _

_ “Stand.” Simple commands with consequences for not following through, so Yeonjun listens, stumbles, feels like his legs are going to give out any second, but eventually makes it onto his own two feet.  _

_ However, that doesn’t matter because with an effortless sweep kick, he is knocked down to the ground, hitting his head and feeling his limbs weaken further.  _

_ “Stand.” Another command and Yeonjun obeys. With even more struggle than the last time, getting to his feet like it was an uphill battle. Gulping, Yeonjun grunts and whimpers with the effort of standing. _

_ A sweep kick, but this time it’s accompanied by a swift kick to the diaphram. Air forces its way out of his lungs, leaving him winded and breathless. Yeonjun curls into himself, brings his arms up to protect his head and uses them as a form of self defense because he knew what was going to happen next.  _

_ “Stand.” Commanded by a booming voice yet Yeonjun can’t comply, can’t physically complete the order as asked.  _

_ He’s given a solid five seconds before blows are delivered to his body, but there’s more than one person, one from behind and one from the front. A couple times in the back of his head, a couple times to his stomach, a couple times to his forearms, a couple times to his thighs, to his shins, to his knees, even one time to his face.  _

_ The hurt and the pain was utterly overwhelming and Yeonjun can feel the tears forming in his eyes. It won’t stop, it feels endless and at one point, Yeonjun blacks out.  _

_ You can bet he was woken up immediately. They drag him back to the chair and slap him repeatedly until the fresh sting coerces his eyes open. He whimpers when he feels a hand gripping his hair again and pulling him from the chair, towing him all the way to the edge of something. To relieve the pain, he brings his hands up and grips the edge, pushing himself up onto his feet.  _

_ Then his head is dunked underwater, held there, and Yeonjun panics. He pushes back, flicks his head wildly against the hand holding him under. He wasn’t able to get a proper breath so his lungs are already burning, clawing with the need for air. Yeonjun exhales the air into the water, feels as the air bubbles brush against his face and travel all the way up to the surface, leaving him with nothing to take in but water.  _

_ He’s brought back up ten seconds later as his fight starts dying down, the person holding him there making sure he doesn’t black out again. Yeonjun sputters and throws up water, getting it out of his lungs and out of his airways, coughing violently, a cry ripping it’s way through after all of it’s out and he can breathe again.  _

_ “Please don’t!” Yeonjun begs, pleads with the person holding him, tears mixing with the water dripping from his hair. “Stop it, please! Please! I don’t want it again, please!”  _

_ Despite his pleas, he’s pushed under again and this time, Yeonjun screams, panics, bucks his body as hard as possible, clutches the edge with a death grip, clutches it so hard his fingers turn white, shaking his head erratically against the hand, using all the fight he can muster to try escaping the water.  _

_ He feels it as he’s forced to take it in, going through his mouth, his nose, down his throat, clogging his airways, taking the life out of him, strangling him internally,  _ drowning _ him.  _

_ And Yeonjun remembers the rule he messed up:  _

Never forget the rules. 

+++

Yeonjun gasps for air, panting, basically having a panic attack as he touches his throat, vividly remembering,  _ feeling _ , the water blocking his airways. He whimpers and whines to himself while taking in the air, but not  _ breathing _ as he should be. 

He can’t breathe, he can’t breathe, he can’t  _ breathe _ . 

An arm comes from behind him and Yeonjun flinches away from it, whimpering,  _ crying _ as he’s afraid he’s going to get submerged into water again, even though he’s nowhere near water. 

“Mate? Yeonjun? Are you okay?” Soobin’s tired, sleepy voice sounds in their tent as he cries, panics, swallows down air only for it to not help him. 

He curls into himself, sobbing as electricity jolts his bones, as merciless kicks jerk him back, as water fills his lungs until he’s drowning internally. It’s only pain, so much pain and Yeonjun’s learned his lesson, he really has, he  _ promises _ . 

“No, no, please, don’t, stop it, I remember! I remember the rules, stop it, please, don’t.” He cries, pleading to no one. 

Soobin turns Yeonjun over and looks down at him, rests a hand on his abdomen, right over the bandages that cover his wounds from the earlier bear attack. He brings a hand up and strokes the side of Yeonjun’s face tenderly with the back of his fingers. “Shh, Yeonjun, it’s okay, no ones going to hurt you. You’re okay, I’ve got you.” 

Yeonjun is still panicking, still not breathing correctly. “Please don’t hurt me.” He whimpers out feebly. 

“I will always protect you, Yeonjun, no matter what you do.” Soobin presses his forehead to Yeonjun’s. “Breathe for me, baby.” He cups his face delicately. 

To Soobin and Yeonjun’s surprise, Yeonjun listens and starts breathing with Soobin, staring deeply into Soobin’s eyes as he calms down. 

At this very moment, Yeonjun’s scared, and Soobin’s hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never realized how much I make Yeonjun suffer and cry in this book, i'm so sorry :'(  
> but it'll get better, and it'll be good, just hang in there y'all  
> thank you for all the love and support as always 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	6. Chapter 6

“Are you okay, Yeonjun?” 

“I’m fine.” Yeonjun responds quickly, turning away from Soobin. 

“Are you sure? You were pretty scared, it’s okay to talk-” 

“I don’t want to talk to you about it, I don’t wanna talk to anyone about it. Leave me alone.” 

Soobin sighs, scoots closer to him. “But Yeonjun, I’m here for you, I’m here to support you, to love you-” 

“I don’t need your stupid love, I’m good without it.” 

“Yeonjun please, I just-” 

“No! Leave me alone.” Yeonjun huddles closer to himself. 

Soobin growls in frustration, but stops himself. “We don’t have to talk about it, can you please just listen to me?” 

“No.” Yeonjun replies stubbornly. 

“Please, Yeonjun! Just hear me out!” 

“I don’t want to!” 

“I said, listen, omega!” Soobin hisses, his voice lowering to the alpha tone and forcing Yeonjun to listen. 

Yeonjun’s omega is forced to turn over, his head bowed in submission as he listens to Soobin. He growls under his breath, “I hate you.” He seethes from behind clenched teeth.

Soobin groans, putting a hand over his face. “I-I’m sorry, mate, I didn’t mean to use-” 

“You didn’t mean anything, my ass.” 

“I’m really sorry, Yeonjun.” Soobin says, sounding worried. “Look, you can lift your head, I know you don’t trust me, but just give me a chance.” 

“I don’t owe you anything.” Yeonjun replies, raising his head and glaring. 

“Please, Yeonjun, you’re my mate, we’re meant to be.” 

“Look, it’s flattering that you want me, but that’s bullshit. I’m a hunter. You’re a werewolf. It’s clearly not meant to be. _Deus vult_.” 

Soobin snaps in a eureka moment. “ Ah! I knew I recognized that phrase. But, God wills it? Why would you say that when the moon goddess clearly wants us to be together.” 

Shock appears on Yeonjun’s face. “You speak latin?”   
  


“A little, more phrases, than anything, but my grandmother taught me some when I was younger.” Soobin shrugs. 

“Well, like I said before,” Yeonjun brushes off the fact he just learned about Soobin, “your deity does not exist.” 

“But you're here, she brought you to me.” 

“I’m here against my will.” 

“Well, you have to admit, you did try to kill us for no reason.” 

Yeonjun rolls his eyes. “No, I had my reasons.” 

“Those reasons, what they taught you, they weren’t true. You don’t know me or anyone in my pack.” 

“The agency would never lie. They taught us those rules to keep us safe.” 

Soobin narrows his eyes at Yeonjun, but doesn’t glare. “Tell me, how many packs have you gotten to know and then murdered?” Yeonjun stays quiet. “Exactly, so you can’t say you know if they are the way ‘the agency’ or whoever you work for says they are.”   
  


“Stop trying to convince me, it’s not going to work.”

“Well, let’s look for an example. Say...humanity. That’s the most basic example to work with. You do know what humanity is, right?” He jokes teasingly. 

“Yeah…” Yeonjun replies skeptically and impatiently . 

“So one person steals something from a convenience store, but that’s just one bad seed out of the whole apple. Other people visit the store daily, would you expect everyone to start stealing then?” 

“No…” 

“Right. So let’s try another example. You witness someone kill another person. Then you end up around the cops, do you expect the cops to just start killing one another?” 

“Well...no.” 

“See? So what makes werewolves so different?” 

Yeonjun frowns as he thinks about his response because Soobin is right in some ways. Eventually he is able to come up with a reason. “Um, well, you-you shift from human to animal. It’s not natural. Animals were made to...you know, hunt down anything for food.” 

“Think back to cavemen. They killed animals all they could, found all they could for food. They didn’t have the same knowledge back then as they do now, they basically were animals, figured it out like animals, starved like animals, got creative like animals. You undermine other species because humans have evolved more.” Soobin replies nonchalantly. 

“But…” Yeonjun is confused, shocked, this goes against his teachings, he shouldn’t be listening to this, hearing this, thinking on it. 

“And if that isn’t enough proof. Think about werewolves this way, half human, half animal. The hunting skills and even form of an animal, but also with a human form and the cognitive behavior of a human. We are more connected to our primal sides than humans and keep our traditional ways of living like our ancestors, unlike, humans who have moved towards more technological advancements, but that doesn’t mean anything.

“Then also with you thinking our shifting as unnatural, let’s compare it to the theory of evolution. Humans have taken years and years and years to get to where they are now. From apes, as suggested by the theory, to now homosapiens, humans as we know them. 

“With werewolves, it’s pretty much the same thing except much faster. One thought and my bones will shift into different places, fur sprouts, everything happens. Our genes were made to speed up the process. It took humans years to lose hair like they used to have when they were apes, and some people are still almost as hairy. For us, we can go back and forth between our evolutionary stages. It’s actually really cool when you see if from that point of view.” Soobin finishes his rant, sounding particularly specialized and educated on this topic. It scares Yeonjun.

Yeonjun can’t help but think about it, let the words in, allow them to clash with the knowledge already in his head and create doubt in his own opinion, or the agency’s opinion on werewolves. What would the agency do to him if they found out he allowed werewolves to change his mind? They would torture him, then kill him, even after he begged for his life. 

“I can’t.” Yeonjun whispers more to himself than Soobin. 

“You can’t what, Yeonjun?” 

“I can’t see it the way you see it.” 

Soobin’s eyebrows furrow, confusion settling on his features. “Why not? I’m not asking for you to change right now. I just wanted to get you thinking and maybe help you see it from my perspective.” 

Fear rises like bile in his throat, the agency wouldn’t tolerate this, wouldn’t tolerate Yeonjun being swayed this way, Yeonjun listening to this, being open minded. And Soobin must see it, must recognize the emotion on his face and in his eyes. He’s breathing heavy, shaky breaths, like he’s about to panic, like he’s frozen in fear. 

“What are you afraid of, Yeonjun?” Soobin scoots closer and cautiously raises a hand to Yeonjun’s face, cupping his cheek. “What do you think will happen when you change how you think?”

A prominent, involuntary pout forms on his lips as he thinks of all the punishment. Being open, being vulnerable, being so intimate with a werewolf like this, it goes against everything he’s stood for, unsure of what will come from this change, uncertain of his fate if the agency finds out.

The agency went through so much to inculcate these core values, these core beliefs within him, only for him to be a fraud, to turn out so weak, to end up a disappointment. And Yeonjun should know better, pain is all that will come from doubt, pain is all that will come from questioning. Letting people into his mind, into his emotions, Yeonjun is weaker than he originally thought he was, allowing others to infiltrate his mind with lies. 

“Yeonjun?”   
  
“I just can’t, Soobin, I can’t believe you, I can’t think like that. You-you’re lying to me.” Overwhelming emotion washes itself over Yenojun’s brain, he’s panicking, the agency can’t find out about this conversation, about the way he’s thought the entirety of his stay with the werewolves, they’ll have his head for this, after they wring him out so much he’s unrecognizable. 

“Yeonjun, are you okay?”  
  


Yeonjun doesn’t know why, but he shakes his head to Soobin’s question. He’s even answering the werewolves, what have they done to him? “I can’t, Soobin, don’t you get it? I _can’t_.” 

“No, Yeonjun, I don’t get it. Tell me why you can’t?” 

“I just...I just can’t, Soobin, please, stop asking me.”

“Yeonjun, I-” 

“I said, stop it!” Yeonjun shouts, he can’t take it, the constant questioning from Soobin, the incessant questioning within his mind, the doubt Soobin is feeding, the doubt that’s been there, taunting him, mocking him. 

Soobin bows his head and sighs. “Okay. I’m sorry.” 

Quiet, that’s all there is, silence to fill the void as Yeonjun pants and tries to collect his thoughts, trying to organize his beliefs and throw away the doubt, doing his best to calm down. 

Soobin speaks again. “I-I have to go meet the head alpha and I can’t leave you here.” He stutters quickly before picking up Yeonjun and taking him halfway across the camp before stopping in front of a tent, the biggest tent of them all. 

Yeonjun’s retreated into his mind for the moment, doesn’t care about what Soobin’s saying to him, doesn’t want to listen anymore.

Soobin pushes open the flap and calls inside of it. “Alpha? It’s Soobin.” 

“Come in!” Yells Namjoon’s familiar voice from behind the curtain. 

Soobin enters and sets Yeonjun down on a stone that’s placed in the corner of the tent. Namjoon sits on the finest stretched out fur he’s ever seen with Seokjin in his lap, a hand held protectively on his mate’s bulging belly. 

Yeonjun notices a beta waiting in the corner of the room, looking alert and ready. He’s either Namjoon’s right hand man or there to attend to Seokjin because of the pregnancy. 

Namjoon and Seokjin murmur back and forth, the speech rapid, hushed so that only they can hear each other. Even with Yeonjun’s heightened hearing - that he refuses to take advantage of - he can’t make out anything they’re saying. 

Seokjin is sat onto the fur and Namjoon stands, motions for Soobin to follow him as he exits. “With me, Soobin.” 

Soobin follows obediently, gives Yeonjun a warning look before he exits along with the head alpha. 

“So Yeonjun,” Seokjin says as he twiddles with the silky hairs of the fur. “How is everything with your mate?” 

“Life here fucking sucks.” 

“Oh really? I don’t think you’ve given it a fair chance, this place can be quite charming when you do.” 

“I’m pretty sure it’ll be the same. Me wanting to throw myself in the river while everyone glares at me with Soobin carrying me across the camp like some damn dog. I don’t want to be here.” 

Seokjin hums. “Hmph…” He brings up a hand to his stomach and rubs it gently. “Maybe you should’ve thought of that before you tried to kill one of our own.” 

“We’re still on that?” 

“Even you could be one of us, Yeonjun. Turns out you’re a wolf just like us, just like me, I can smell it on you. That and Taehyung can’t keep secrets.”

“I don’t want to be one of you.” 

“Then why are you complaining? They’ll forgive you if you show remorse, if you show true sincerity, if you show you want to immerse yourself in what you truly are. It’d be so much easier on you then, Yeonjun.” 

“Do all of you werewolves spew bullshit? I don’t want to be one of you, never was, never will be.” 

Seokjin smirks his way. “You say that now but-” He lurches forward abruptly, gasping, presses a hand to his stomach, his eyes widening, mouth dropping open, and then a trickling of liquid. “Yoongi. My-my water, b-broke, please.” The beta rushes over to Seokjin and Seokjin grips his arm with an iron fist. He groans in pain, “ _Oh_ -oh my god.” 

Yeonjun’s watching on in confusion at the suddenness of everything happening, his mind isn’t processing, isn’t able to take in the information quick enough to fully comprehend. 

Yoongi, as Seokjin called him, pulls Seokjin up and escorts him out of the tent, leaving Yeonjun completely alone in the tent. 

It’s so big, the tent, big enough to hide things, specifically Yeonjun’s bag. He narrows his eyes, checks his surroundings a couple times before using all the energy he can to push himself up to his feet, wobbling a bit as he finds his balance. He searches the room, analyzes it with his eyes to see just where they would hide his bag. 

Hopping forward, Yeonjun looks around and finally his eyes find a pile of animal hides in the corner. He moves to it and falls to his knees, using his tied hand to pull away the hides until his eyes land on the jackpot. 

It’s his bag and it still looks intact, so Yeonjun doesn’t waste any time, he unzips the backpack and shoves both hands in, feeling around it blindly for his phone. He feels for the shape, groping the inside while squeezing different objects that aren’t his phone. 

Huffing in frustration, Yeonjun bends his head down, biting one side of the bag and then using his tied hands to pull it open so that he can see the contents. He spots his phone, but before he grabs it, he glances back, taking a moment to listen for footsteps. 

After making sure that the coast is clear, Yeonjun snatches up the phone. But it doesn’t turn on, Yeonjun remembering that he had turned it off before the mission to make sure he was in utter silence. He wonders if it cut off the tracker that they put in the phone. Holding down the on button, he waits for it to start up. 

_Oh no, I’m not letting you contact them_ , the voice insists. 

Yeonjun scoffs at it, glares at nothing as if the embodiment of the voice was right in front of him. _Shut up! I don’t have time for this!_

_You’re not going to do this, I won’t let you_ , the voice continues on despite Yeonjun’s harsh words.

Yeonjun’s body jolts and he suddenly feels a loss of control over the left side of his body, the left arm, the left hand that’s holding his phone. He pants with the exertion of the omega within him stealing part of his control, a sharp pain in his eye. 

Yeonjun only gets to look at the phone as what the wolf inside of him is doing dawns on him and his eyes grow wide. “No!” He gasps out, his hand crushing the phone before it could even turn on completely. 

“Yeonjun! I’m sorry I left, I-” Soobin cuts himself off from behind him, entering the tent. 

Twisting his head around, Yeonjun makes eye contact with Soobin. 

“Your eyes…” Soobin whispers. “One’s brown, one’s blue.” 

“Go away, Soobin.” Yeonjun rushes out before the omega takes control of his mouth. “No, stay mate.” 

Confusion takes over Soobin’s face. “You tried to call the agency, didn’t you?” 

“No, Soobin, I-” Yeonjun starts to say but his neck forcefully cranes to the left and the omega’s taken over again. “Yeah, he did, but I stopped him, mate.” The omega uses Yeonjun’s lips to smile, his vocal chords to giggle. 

“Please, omega, give the control back to Yeonjun.” 

The omega pouts. “But he’s so mean to you! I can’t-” Yeonjun’s neck suddenly twists, twitches to the side and then Yeonjun is back in control of his whole body. “Jesus Christ, I hated that.” 

“I’m taking you back to the tent.” Soobin makes his way over calmly, almost too calmly, to the point that it’s eerie. He pulls Yeonjun back so he falls on his butt then scoops him up princess style, Yeonjun dropping the crushed phone. “We’re going to stay there for the rest of the day and night.” 

Yeonjun doesn’t say anything, doesn’t struggle, it’s no use against Soobin. He’s still tied up, so there’s nothing he can do anyway. He watches Soobin drop by the tent where Seokjin is giving birth, the obscene squelching sounds and the screams can only come from someone birthing a child, and listens to him tell the beta standing outside, Yoongi, he recalls, about Yeonjun’s bag as well as letting him know to tell the head alpha after. 

Then they’re back in the tent, Soobin keeping to himself in the corner while Yeonjun lays down and decides to nap, closes his eyes, and lets the waves of dreamland wash away his existence for a little bit. 

+++

_Yeonjun circles around the ring, watches his opponent, watches the way he attempts to be light on his feet as he was just instructed to do, watches as his clumsy limbs fly this way and that._

_Twice his size, the boy is younger than him, standing tall, long arms, long legs, big fists to put up in a fight. But he can’t fight, he lacks the ability, the agility to fight Yeonjun. He’s no worthy match and the agency knows that, but he isn’t sure why they would match them up if they knew that their fighting skills weren’t on the same level._

_Yeonjun narrows his eyes, ducks his head behind raised forearms. The students in the program are better trained in weaponry than hand to hand combat, but they must train for that just in case they lose a weapon and it is the last attempt to stay alive and kill the werewolves._ Fighting _like it’s their last attempt to stay alive and kill the werewolves._

_Impatience rushes the boy's moves, swinging prematurely, too wide, Yeonjun sees it before it’s coming, dodging to the left and coming back with a punch straight to the diaphragm. The boy doubles over, winded, and Yeonjun hops around him, circling around his back to drive an elbow in the center of it. He falls to the ground, flattened by the hit to his spine._

_Moving away, Yeonjun stays on defense, spys on his opponent while he rises up and recovers from the two blows. He pants heavily, his chest bouncing up and down quickly on each inhale, each exhale._

_Lunging at him, as if Yeonjun can’t tell he was trying to fake him out by leaning on the railing, he goes for a right hook. Yeonjun ducks underneath his fist, side steps him when he throws a punch from his left fist without grace. His opponent bends, catches himself in a bend, saves himself from falling again, only to receive a knee to the stomach, right around the kidney area if Yeonjun remembers correctly._

Easy, too easy _, Yeonjun thinks to himself, but is taken by surprise when a leg sweeps at his feet, knocking him off balance, forcing him onto his back and leaving him open for a flurry of punches and kicks, like a turtle on its shell, vulnerable belly up._

_The boy lands hits on Yeonjun, but he doesn’t know his anatomy like Yeonjun does, probably can’t even locate the diaphragm since his punches aren’t calculated as well and used to knock out Yeonjun. The boy doesn’t move from the position Yeonjun put him in either which isn’t the smartest move seeing as Yeonjun quickly wraps his thighs around his neck, pulling forward while rocking back before rocking forward with more power and releasing his head from between his thighs, throwing him backwards into the railing._

_Yeonjun rolls up onto his feet and storms over, planting punch after punch on his opponent when the boy decides to make the mistake of turning around. A hand wrapped with tape and gaze grips his chin while the other firmly holds the back of his neck. Quick twist, and he’ll be dead._

_“Do it,” the head countess commands him, stepping out of the dark from where she was watching._

Snap _. He’s dead, just like that._

_“Tell me what you learned, Yeonjun.”_

Speak when spoken to, _a strict rule. “Never undermine the enemy.”_

_“No matter how predictable, no matter how clumsy the other opponent is, don’t let your guard down because you think you know them, because you know you're better than them. They can still take you by surprise, they can still think outside of the box, trick you. Remember that.”_

_“Yes, head countess.”_

+++

Yeonjun wakes, stares at the top of the tent, listens to Soobin breathing beside him. 

He really shouldn’t have broken that goddamn rule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love and appreciate the comments y'all! I'll warn you now though, I'm going on a trip and I may not be able to post each day, but you know I will be back after this weekend, it's only friday, saturday, and sunday. So hang in there for me and I'll try my best to maybe write a couple more chapters before then so i can still provide you with a post. thanks for understanding!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	7. Chapter 7

Yesterday, the first born son of the head alpha and luna was born and to celebrate the heir to the throne, they’re holding a sun down feast with food and music and dancing on the night of the full moon. There, they will crest him, basically draw the symbols of their ancestors on his face, bless him beneath the moon, as Soobin explained, and name him heir. 

Yeonjun doesn’t really care, just another werewolf to take out of this world. They didn’t need more and yet here he is, the son of the alpha and luna. Another child that will grow up to be evil, another werewolf that will show its true colors. 

Soobin’s friends are hanging out by the river once more today, and per usual, Soobin is forcing Yeonjun to come, not like Yeonjun ever had a choice in the matter. 

“We’re gonna have fun, mate.” Soobin tries to convince him, running a hand through his hair. 

“Your friends hate me, especially the beta.” Yeonjun knows his name, but he doesn’t particularly like the beta, so he won’t name him. 

“No they don’t, it’s just hard to adjust to someone joining our group. It’s always just been us four.”

“You must be delusional if you’re choosing to ignore the real reason.” 

Soobin sighs. “They may not like you because you tried to hurt Hyuka, but I can’t leave you here alone, I can’t trust you like that yet, mate.” 

“What makes you think I’ll stay? What if I try to escape like last time?” 

“Do you want me to get Taehyung to watch you again?” 

The teacher and overly playful omega that Yeonjun met when Soobin sent him over to watch Yeonjun. Yeonjun makes a disgusted face. He did not like that omega, he was too much and Yeonjun doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle the taunting without strangling him.

Yeonjun huffs petulantly. “I really hate you sometimes.”   
  


“I’ll take that as a yes to the river.” So, here they are again, Soobin scooping up Yeonjun and carrying him across the camp, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Huening Kai already there with a small blanket made of an animal hide and hand woven baskets filled with meat and fruits. 

Beomgyu scoffs when he sees Yeonjun, already glaring at him. “Why did you bring him here? He’s only going to bring down the mood.”

Taehyun smacks his mate in the arm. “Beomgyu, that’s still Soobin’s mate, be respectful.” 

“You’re not respectful to him.” Beomgyu pouts to his mate, rubbing his arm. 

“I’m pregnant and easy to piss off. What’s your excuse?” 

“His bad attitude.” 

“See? I told you your friends hate me.” Yeonjun whispers to Soobin, sneering at Beomgyu. 

“Why don’t we just do what we came here to do and have fun?” Huening Kai offers, ignoring Taehyun and Beomgyu’s bickering as well as Yeonjun’s remark. 

Soobin smiles widely, “Good idea, Hyuka.” 

Beomgyu stretches out the fur blanket for all of them and then helps Taehyun sit down, settling down right next to him. Huening Kai takes the spot right next to Taehyun and Soobin takes the spot next to Huening Kai, setting Yeonjun down beside him. 

Taehyun sets down the basket and gestures to it. “Bon appetit.” 

“Shouldn’t the pregnant one eat first?” Yeonjun says, surprising himself as well as the rest of the group. He quickly tries to play it off, “Not that I care, just...don’t need another reason to have people glaring at me, thinking I’m stealing food from a pregnant omega.” 

“I’m not hungry right now. Can’t keep anything down at the moment, but thank you...Yeonjun.” Taehyun rubs his belly while looking over at Yeonjun with his large, doe eyes. 

“Yeah, whatever.” Yeonjun turns his head and stares at the river with a scoff. 

Beomgyu and Huening Kai dig in, going for the pieces of meat while Soobin goes for the berries, bringing his scooped hands over to Yeonjun. 

“Would you like some, mate?” 

Yeonjun looks down at the cupped hands and then into Soobin’s eyes. He doesn’t say anything, but he nods. 

Soobin’s lips lift into a little smile and he nods at Yeonjun’s hands, telling him to cup his own so he can give it to them. Yeonjun obeys and watches Soobin pour the berries into his hand. 

They eat in silence and Yeonjun takes the time to observe Soobin’s friends and his brother. Beomgyu is constantly on alert, eating but still glancing over at his mate minutely to make sure he’s doing okay. Taehyun’s rubbing his stomach, leaned back on one arm, face towards the sky with his eyes closed, relaxing. Huening Kai is completely invested in the food, practically mauling the piece of meat in his hand. 

Huening Kai breaks the silence with a question directed towards Yeonjun. “How’s your wound, Yeonjun? Is it healed yet?” 

Yeonjun furrows his eyebrows. “I haven’t checked it yet, but it’s definitely not healed, can’t be, it’ll at least take three weeks or more.” 

“Werewolves heal faster than humans.” He states factually. “Check it now.” 

“Um, Soobin...can you?” Yeonjun nods his head down to the bandage on his stomach while showing his messy hands covered in the bleeding juice and stickiness from the berries. 

Soobin obliges, more than happy too, leaning over and lifting the shirt with the holes left on him from the bear, and pulls the bandage back. He beams and looks at Yeonjun. “It’s completely healed, look.” 

Yeonjun looks down at his stomach and to his utter surprise, Soobin is right, there’s no wound anymore, not even a scar. He stares at it in awe. “How…?” 

“Well, like I said,” Huening Kai replies to his questioning gaze, “werewolves heal faster than humans, it’s a goddess given gift, though it does depend on the severity. If it was a broken arm, just for an example, it would’ve taken at least a week.” 

Yeonjun still stares on in disbelief. Fear crawls up his spine, this makes it all too real, the fact that he’s a werewolf with werewolf abilities. This isn’t normal, he shouldn’t be able to do any of this, he’s not one of them. He can’t be one of them, this is an ultimate betrayal to the agency, doesn’t matter if he has control over it or not, that’s the way it will be seen if the agency were to see him. 

Yeonjun shakes, trembles, starts breathing irregularly, but he tries to keep it under control so that he doesn’t have a panic attack in front of these werewolves, show that he’s been weakened, that they’re breaking him down from the inside out.

“Are you okay, Yeonjun?” Soobin whispers to him, setting a careful, gentle hand on his back. 

Soobin has been asking that question a lot lately, but Yeonjun can’t bring himself to be truthful. “Uh, yeah, I just...need to clean off.” 

“I’ll take him,” Huening Kai offers, standing up and showing his fingers to the group. “My hands are gross.” 

Soobin gets up as well then scoops up Yeonjun. “I’ll come with, he can’t exactly walk.” 

Yeonjun scoffs. “I could if you take the ropes off.”   
  
No one says anything in response to Yeonjun and instead the three of them head down to the river, Soobin sitting down on the soil and then moving over a bit so that they can wash their hands and faces in the river. 

Yeonjun works his way onto his knees and he sits back on his haunches, cupping the water and washing his hands off, bringing some to his face to wash the berry smudges from the corner of his mouth. 

While bending over, Yeonjun catches his reflection in the water. He looks himself over, dyed yellow hair fading, face pale, eyes dead, lips red from the rubbing, he doesn’t recognize himself. The reflection looks like him, but doesn’t look like him, doesn’t feel like him either. 

Yeonjun thought he knew who he was, but it all seems to be a lie because he turned out to be a werewolf, he turned out to have more doubts, more guilt, more _weakness_ , then he thought he had. He’s a fraud, a failure, a disappointment to the agency. If he was a real student of the agency, he wouldn’t have been caught, he would’ve followed the rules, he wouldn’t have been arrogant, he would’ve listened to the head countess. 

The more he stares at his reflection, the more he begs himself to look away, the more he loses himself in the swishing of the current, the more he’s staring at the shell of the man he used to be. 

Abruptly twisting to move back, Yeonjun accidentally slips and tumbles into the water, right off the drop of the shore and into the deepest part of the river, the current splashing water in his face. Yeonjun’s head is above water and he gasps right as he’s dragged under, just barely able to catch air so he can hold his breath. 

He’s thrashing in the water against the current. If he were horizontal, he could possibly swim, even make it to the shore, but he’s vertical and his arms and legs are tied, which doesn’t help him at all. 

He pumps his arms down and uses them to get his head above water so he can quickly get more air and let out a “help!” before he’s pulled back under. His arms are tired now, but he continues, desperately trying to reach the surface. 

Yeonjun can’t breathe and it panics him, flashes back to the water bucket they dunked his head into at the agency. Though being a werewolf was the nightmare he never knew he had, drowning is his worst fear that he was aware of. 

He wiggles his legs to and fro, this way and that, side to side, any way he can just to get his head above water again. His lungs burn furiously, punishing Yeonjun for not exhaling and inhaling like he should be. 

At one point, he’s forced to inhale underwater, water filling his lungs and his body jerking as it realizes that it’s not taking in air. But it keeps going, keeps taking it in to get to the oxygen it needs. 

Black circles the outside of his vision, the fight drains from Yeonjun’s body as his eyelids droop, his mouth falling open as he feels himself _dying_. 

This is it for Yeonjun, dying in one of the worst ways to die, his brain going through the slide show of his life. Screams of werewolf children, of werewolf adults, death a constant feat for Yeonjun only to end up unhappy and guilty. He shouldn’t expect a savior, let alone God’s mercy after all he’s done.

He remembers the small child that woke up, the one he trapped in fire, the one he had to smell as their flesh burned, the one he had to listen to scream and cry because they knew who did this to them and they wanted Yeonjun to hear. 

Flashes of the agency, no friends, no family, only staff and peers, no love given to any of them, only long days of studying and practicing, only long days of punishment and torture for the smallest, most insignificant things. The cold bed he would never share with a lover, his heart never given to another, his lips unkissed, his virginity intact, his mind not consumed by love, but by hate, hate and agony and remorse. 

Then Soobin pops into his mind, Soobin’s dimpled smile, his kind eyes, caring actions, handsome face, beautiful soul. He could’ve had everything he wanted if he just gave in and didn’t succumb to the pain, to the loss of his parents. Soobin would’ve given it to him if he just asked and deep down inside, he knows it too. 

+++

_They’re at the park, little Yeonjun playing around on the playground, swinging on the bars and yelling for his parents to look._

_“Mommy! Daddy! Look! I’m doing it!”_

_“Be careful, Yeonjunnie!” His mother calls back but smiles fondly at the wide grin residing on Yeonjun’s face._

_“Good job, Yeonjun!” His father shouts with pride and Yeonjun absolutely bursts with happiness._

_Yeonjun swings from bar to bar, making it to the other end and landing safely on the other side of the big toy. He looks back at his parents, who cheer him on with fond, approving gazes and a big thumbs up._

_Little Yeonjun runs down the steps of the toy structure and heads over to the swing set, turning and calling to his mother this time. “Mommy! Come push me!” He holds onto the baby seat and bounces up and down on his heels impatiently, looking at her with a pleading look._

_His mother complies and walks over, picking up Yeonjun and hovering him over the seat. “What do we say when we want something, Yeonjun?”_

_“Can you please push me in the swing, mommy?” Yeonjun asks politely, pouting his bottom lip and giving her puppy eyes._

_She chuckles gently and kisses his forehead. “I only wanted the please, not the manipulation, thank you very mu-” She gasps and stops joking as her eyes catch on something behind Yeonjun._

_“Mommy?” Yeonjun’s eyebrows furrow._

_“Um, I just remembered, you, you have a haircut appointment very soon so we need to go, Yeonjun.” She pulls Yeonjun to her chest and holds him like her life depends on it. She’s lying, Yeonjun can tell, but he doesn’t say anything._

_Yeonjun looks up at her. His mother’s face has paled dramatically, as if she was going to be sick any minute, her eyes darting, her head turning back a couple times while she speed walks over to where his father is sitting on the bench._

_When she reaches him, she says in a muttered voice, “They’re here, Doyun, they’re here.”_

_His father stands up with a sudden look of alarm. “Get him to the car, I’ll take care of them.”_

_“Be careful.” She warns as he leans in and presses a kiss to the top of her head, then another one to the top of Yeonjun’s head._

_“I’ll be right back.” He rushes off in the direction Yeonjun and his mother came from and Yeonjun’s mother starts for the car._

_They make it in no time, Yeonjun’s mother getting into the passenger’s seat with Yeonjun still in her arms. He clings onto her, her hand on the back of his head to keep him from looking._

_“Mommy, are you okay?”_

_“Of course, baby, I’m okay, everything’s going to be fine.”_

_“Where did Daddy go?”_

_She doesn’t answer his question, just rocks him slightly and repeats. “Everything is going to be fine.”_

_Yeonjun closes his eyes then, allows his mother to reassure him that everything is fine, that everything will be okay. It’s odd how she isn’t answering his question, but he pushes it aside in favor of hugging her and attempting to give some sort of comfort._

_A couple minutes go by then the door of the driver’s side is opened and slammed once his father gets in, Yeonjun stares at him, sees the way his hair is rustled, the way his glasses are slightly tilted, the way his clothes are ruffled._

_“They’re gone.” His father says and a huge sigh of relief escapes his mother._

_Yeonjun’s small eyebrows furrow. His eyes land on something he’s never seen on his father’s face before. A small scar on his right cheek, further to the left, but still underneath his eye. “Daddy, what’s that on your face?”_

_His father’s eyes widen and he presses a hand to the spot Yeonjun is talking about. “Um, just a scar from a long, long time ago. Nothing to worry about Yeonjun.”_

_So Yeonjun doesn’t worry, and the day continues on like normal._

+++

Yeonjun’s eyes snap open and he twists his head to the side, vomiting water from out of his lungs, sputtering, jerking as he gasps for air, his chest moving rapidly. His lungs ache as they finally get the air they’ve been searching for. Yeonjun feels the water moving from his airway and making its way out of his mouth, onto the soil of the river bank. 

With half lidded, blurry eyes, Yeonjun lays on his back, taking in breath after breath of fresh air. His head feels dizzy, his mind numb as he tries to remember what happened. 

“Yeonjun?” Come Soobin’s sweet, sweet voice, and Yeonjun _crumbles_. 

Loud sobs break from Yeonjun’s chest, taking away the breath he needed much like the water did when he was down under. Wails, cries of agony, of pain tumble out, one after the other, his body quaking. His whole body aches with the fear taking over him, consuming his heart, his mind, any vulnerable part of Yeonjun. 

It comes back, flickers behind his eyes, slipping, tumbling into the water, drowning. He almost died in a way he never wished upon anyone, and now he sees clearly. 

Yeonjun is miserable, culpable, the life at the agency made him that way, took away what he’s always secretly yearned for, took away so many opportunities, so many experiences. It aches within him, screams of the children haunting him, screams of the werewolves, the smell of burning flesh pungent in his nose, his sight taken away by red, orange, licking flames that take away life. 

He can’t help his feelings, there’s too much, too many to continually ignore. The agency isn’t here, he’s only surrounded by werewolves, surrounded by the children of werewolves, surrounded by those who he’s seen won’t hurt him like the agency did. 

Yeonjun _is_ a killer, but he never understood why they couldn’t take the children, why they couldn’t take them and teach them just like the head countess did Yeonjun. Why couldn’t he save those children? There’s no excuse. He didn’t want the pain, the torture from the agency, but he _killed children_. He intentionally hurt them. That’s pain and torture within itself. 

His heart throbs, he didn’t want to do it, but he did. He did because he was scared of the agency, scared of what would’ve happened if he failed. He selfishly killed little innocent children that could’ve simply been retaught just because he didn’t want the wrath of the agency upon him. 

This thought has been in Yeonjun’s mind for the longest time, has always held him hostage, always been there even as he trained. Late at night when he couldn’t sleep, he’d lie awake, thinking about the children, even the unborn children, the mothers and fathers that lost their lives along with their children's lives. 

But he could never preach these ideas and thoughts, could never admit them to anyone, not even himself, because if he did, he would have died. He would be dead at this very moment and he didn’t want to die, he wanted to _live_. 

This life, however, in this life, is he truly living? Mercilessly killing, taking lives that maybe, just maybe weren’t worth taking? He’s tried his hardest to wholeheartedly believe his agency, but he _can’t_. 

So many times he’s tried to convince himself, tried to tell himself that the werewolves hurt humans even when he’s witnessed otherwise, tried to tell himself that it was the werewolves who killed his parents, tried to tell himself that it was the werewolves that had a hidden agenda to take away innocent, human lives. 

Countless children, countless men, countless women, Yeonjun has lived by the rules only to be rewarded with nothing. Numbness when he kills, a rush of adrenaline that only has him crashing at the end. Sitting in caves at night, not going back to the agency for a couple days longer than needed because he took the time to reflect on himself, reflect on how much he _loathes_ himself. 

The agency raised him, fed him, sheltered him, taught him everything he had to know, taught him fear, pain, worthlessness, how his life is in the palm of their hands and he can’t do a damn thing about it. Yeonjun is their robot and when he breaks, they get rid of him with a single shot to the head, dead center, staring him in the eyes, not a trace of reluctance or remorse. 

The agency has rules, rules that have been ingrained in his mind, that have trapped him, trapped his true nature within himself. Yeonjun’s been taught to be untrusting of himself, to not believe himself when his sense of right and wrong tells him exactly what he’s supposed to do. 

_Only have trust and faith in the agency, no one else, not even yourself_ . It’s in the _goddamn rule book_. He can’t do it anymore, he can’t watch people constantly dying, let alone little kids that have the chance to be retaught everything the right way.

He always told himself that the loathing, the seething, the raging fires that burned inside of him, brighter than any star, hotter than any sun, was directed at the werewolves, when he’s always only lied to himself. It’s only directed at two beings, himself and the wolf that killed his parents.

Time and time again, here at the werewolf camp, Yeonjun’s only received kindness, even as a prisoner. He attacked them first, did he just expect them to take that? Because, logically, he should have known that they would want to kill him for what he had tried to do to one of their own, that’s how fighting works, especially when it’s fatal. 

Soobin saved him from that fate, been kind, gave Yeonjun so many chances when he didn’t deserve them, loved him despite knowing Yeonjun did not love him back, cared for him when he was hurt or felt sad. 

So many examples were given, so many facts that clashed with his own ideology, so many things that were right, that debunked most of what he was taught. But ignorance was Yeonjun’s bliss because it’s hard when someone tells you your life is a lie, and it’s even harder when you _know_ it’s a lie. 

The sobs die down and Yeonjun stares at the sky, the clear blue sky, no cloud in sight, slow tears running down the side of his face and puddling into his ears. Yeonjun is _seeing_ , truly seeing that coexistence is possible, blind before but now his eyes are open, open to view the werewolves kindness, selflessness, generosity. 

  
Yeonjun _sees_ now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may seem a little fast, I know, but there's much more for Yeonjun  
> my reasoning: "Sometimes bad things have to happen before bad people can change" - my mom
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	8. Chapter 8

“Who saved me?” Yeonjun asks, staring at the sky as he’s finally able to catch his breath and slow the tears trekking down his face. 

“Huening Kai.” Soobin answers, leaning over him and blocking the sky. 

Yeonjun looks into Soobin’s eyes then looks over at Huening Kai, into the concerned brown eyes already staring at him. Then he starts sitting up, Soobin moving out of his way, and manages to pull Huening Kai into a hug, a tight, warm, grateful hug, even with his tied hands. The hug is awkward but Yeonjun ignores it. “Thank you.” He whispers in a fragile voice, tears filling his eyes again. 

Yeonjun bites his lip as he feels Huening Kai hesitate before wrapping his arms around Yeonjun. “You’re welcome.” 

They could’ve let Yeonjun die, could’ve allowed him to suffer and drown, could’ve watched and laughed just like the agency would’ve done, but they didn’t, in fact, the kid he tried to kill saved him, saved his life, despite the bad attitude, despite the bad language, despite the glaring, Huening Kai jumped in after him and pulled him out of the river. 

He pulls away and wipes at his eyes, rising heat engulfing his cheeks. “Why did you save me?” 

“Because you were going to die. Is there any other reason?”

“Well, it’s just that...I-I tried to kill you, I would’ve killed you if your pack didn’t capture me.” 

“I only did the right thing.”

Yeonjun tilts his head down in shame. “Right, um, thank you again, I-I owe you my life.” 

“No, none of that, really, Yeonjun, you don’t have to say-” 

Yeonjun holds onto Huening Kai’s shoulder with his tied hands and stares deeply, intensely into his eyes. “I owe you my life. Anything, any favor, whatever it is, if you ask me, I will do it.” 

Huening Kai’s eyes open wider in shock. Then his lips break into an awkward smile and he’s patting at one of Yeonjun’s hands. “Alright, then, buddy, maybe I’ll take you up on that offer.” A small growl from behind Yeonjun has Huening Kai saying, “Or not.” 

Turning his head around, Yeonjun looks at Soobin, who’s snarling possessively at Yeonjun’s hands on Huening Kai’s shoulder, at the stare he gave Huening Kai, at the words he uttered to Soobin’s younger brother, another alpha. His top lip raises, showing his clenched teeth as a low growl rumbles in his chest. 

Huening Kai grabs Yeonjun’s hands and pulls them off of his shoulder. “I don’t think Soobin likes that very much.” 

Yeonjun glares at Soobin. “Shut up, Soobin, you’re scaring him.” 

Soobin rears his head back and stops growling with a shocked face, only for his lips to drop in a pout. “But-” 

“I don’t care. Tell me, were you the one to save me?” 

“...No, but Hyuka noticed before me, I didn’t even realize until he jumped in.” 

“That explanation doesn’t help you either.” Yeonjun looks back at Huening Kai. “Whatever you need, whenever, my offer always stands, I am indebted to you.” 

Huening Kai laughs and nods. “Okay, but you don’t have to be so serious.” 

Soobin whimpers. “Not fair,” he drags out the last letter like a petulant child. 

Huening Kai smiles at his brother over Yeonjun’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Binnie, I’m not going to steal your mate. He’s all yours.” 

Yeonjun rolls his eyes. “You’re a big puppy, Soobin.” 

Soobin growls again, but there’s no real bite to it. He sighs, “Here, let’s go back over to Beomgyu and Taehyun. I’ll ask Taehyun if he can check you out.” 

Standing, Soobin picks up Yeonjun and walks back over to where Taehyun and Beomgyu are cuddled up on the blanket, Huening Kai following close behind. 

“What took you guys so long?” Beomgyu opens his eyes after he speaks and they land on Yeonjun. “Did you go for a swim, Yeonjun?” 

Taehyun opens his eyes as well and sits up once he looks at Yeonjun. “What happened?” 

“Yeonjun slipped and drowned, but Huening Kai pulled him out and then I did CPR on him. Can you check him out, Taehyun?” Soobin explains.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s take him back into our tent, I’ll check him out there.” Taehyun agrees easily and signals for Beomgyu to get up. His mate does as told and then helps Taehyun stand, holding him with steady hands to make sure he doesn’t fall while doing so.

All of them head back to Taehyun and Beomgyu’s tent, and once they get there, Taehyun says, “Alright, I need my space to check on him, so Soobin, set him down inside and then the three of you will stand out here until I’m done.” 

Like instructed to do, Soobin goes inside, sets down Yeonjun and comes back out, Taehyun walking inside and closing the entrance flaps. 

Yeonjun looks around, it’s all simple, like the rest of the tents, except this one has more animal hides covering the floor, probably for Taehyun to nest and rest without strain on his back when sleeping. 

Taehyun goes for his medical kit, then makes his way to Yeonjun. He plops down beside him and reaches into the bag, pulling out a small flashlight. “Look at my left ear.”

Yeonjun complies and looks at his left ear, Taehyun turning on the flashlight and staring into Yeonjun’s eyes. “Look at my right ear now.” Again, Yeonjun complies, shifting his eyes quickly to Taehyun’s right ear. 

“Okay,” Taehyun mutters to himself and angles the flashlight and lifts a fist, his index finger up, “follow my finger.” Yeonjun follows the fingers, Taehyun moving it left and right then up and down. “Alright. Open your mouth and stick out your tongue.” Yeonjun opens his mouth as wide as he can and sticks out his tongue, Taehyun looking inside with the flashlight. He hums and then back ups, clicking off the flashlight. “You can close your mouth.” 

Yeonjun closes his mouth and waits for Taehyun’s next instruction patiently. “Do you feel any pain, anywhere? In your chest, legs, arms, head?” 

“No, I don’t.” 

“What’s three times three?” 

“Nine.” 

“How many fingers am I holding up?” 

“Four.” Taehyun gives Yeonjun a weird look because he’s clearly holding up five and he answered his last question correctly. Yeonjun shrugs. “Four because your thumb isn’t technically a finger, it’s a digit, or just a thumb.” 

“Oh, okay. Uh, do you remember anything before the fall?” 

“I went over with Soobin and Huening Kai because I wanted to wash my hands and face in the water.” He hesitates before continuing, embellishing a little bit. “I looked into the water for a bit then tried to move away, but I moved too suddenly and my knee slipped.”

“What about during?” 

“Um, I was able to get a breath before I was dragged under, and I tried to swim, but I couldn’t because my hands and feet are tied. Somehow, I got myself above water one more time, and called for help then…” Yeonjun tries to recall what happened after he yelled for help, but he couldn’t remember, “...I don’t know what happened after that.” 

“Okay.” Taehyun nods and places the flashlight back into his kit. 

He reaches towards Yeonjun, but he’s quick to dodge his hand. “Don’t-” Yeonjun starts but catches himself, closing his eyes, taking a breath, before leaning forward, looking at Taehyun, who has a raised eyebrow. “Sorry, um, continue.” 

Taehyun rests a hand on his neck, then brings the same hand up to his forehead, checking for a temperature. “Okay, no fever, that’s good. And are you sure that nothing hurts? Even if it’s minor pain, better to be safe than sorry.” 

Yeonjun takes a moment to see if he feels anything, but he doesn’t and shakes his head. “No, I don’t feel any pain.” 

“Then I’m done.” Taehyun closes his first aid kit and crawls to the entrance flaps. “Soobin?” 

Soobin pops his head in and looks at Taehyun. “Are you done?” 

  
“Yeah, just make sure to keep an eye on him, he needs to rest for now.” 

“Wait,” Yeonjun speaks up, catching Soobin and Taehyun’s attention, “what about getting pneumonia or an infection or heart failure? I know that drowning victims can end up with those, if there’s water left in the lungs.” 

“Well, those are after effects for humans. For werewolves, there’s less of a risk for any of those, and even if they do happen, it’s less severe than when it happens to a human. Heart failure is rare among werewolves, you’d probably have to be a pup to have that happen to you. So you should be okay, Yeonjun, I wouldn’t worry too much.” Taehyun explains and helps to stop Yeonjun worrying so much. “And you, Soobin, if he gets a fever or anything, call me or one of the other doctors so we can help him through it.” 

“Okay.” Soobin nods in understanding.

He comes inside and scoops up Yeonjun once more, starting to leave when Yeonjun says, “Thank you, Taehyun.” 

There is evident surprise on Taehyun’s face but he nods his head at Yeonjun. “You’re welcome.” Yeonjun gives him a weak smile before they finally exit, Soobin emerging from the tent. 

“See you later, Soobin, Hyuka.” Beomgyu smiles at them and ignores Yeonjun, which Yeonjun, admittedly, deserves. He heads inside and Huening Kai starts walking alongside his brother. 

“Where to now?” Huening Kai asks as they stride across the camp. 

“I’m gonna take Yeonjun back to our tent so he can rest. Doctor’s orders.” 

“Oh, okay. I think I might go to Taehyung and ask if I can play with the orphans.” 

“That’s a wonderful idea, Kai! They’re definitely in need of someone to play with.” Soobin smiles brightly at the idea. “Next time, I’ll come along, but enjoy!” 

Huening Kai smiles back and nods. “Okay, Binnie, will do.” He departs from the pair and heads to tents with the orphans. 

“Are there that many orphans?” Yeonjun finds himself asking. 

“Huh? Oh, well, not too many, but quite a bit for our pack. I think there’s about...six or seven. If we were a bigger pack it wouldn’t be considered bad, but we’re pretty small.” Soobin clarifies. 

“Why so many?” 

“Well, there’s been hunting accidents, um, eating some poisonous fruits, sometimes eating contaminated animals. Different things, but I guess the moon goddess thought it was their time.” 

They make it to the tent after a couple minutes of walking, Soobin setting down Yeonjun then closing the entrance flaps. It’s quiet for a bit, but Yeonjun decides to ask another question. “What do I have to do to be a part of your pack?” 

Soobin seems to be caught off guard with the question, but answers anyway. “Um, you’d probably have to learn how to be an omega, go through your first shift, bond with me, earn their trust and prove yourself to the pack.” 

“How do I prove myself?” 

“I-I’m not really sure how, you’d probably have to ask the head alpha or luna. They’ll think of something.” 

Yeonjun is reluctant to say what he wants to say next, but he forces it out. “What if...what if I’m not worthy of a second chance?” He sounds vulnerable, if the agency saw him now, they’d call him weak. “There’s so much stuff I’ve done, I-” He cuts himself off. 

_ Never share details from previous missions with anyone unless it is the head countess or the staff member that gave you the mission.  _ The rules recites itself in his head, breaking another rule, so shamelessly, he’ll definitely be punished. Probably by the werewolves too, they’ll punish him for what he’s done to others like them. 

“You what?” Soobin pries a bit. 

“Nothing. Nevermind.” Yeonjun turns away from Soobin so he can’t see it, can’t see the  _ fear _ plaguing his mind and emotions. 

“Yeonjun, you know you can share anything with me. I would never judge you.” 

“You would judge me for this, you can’t not judge me for this. You’d probably hate me for it.” He whispers the last part to himself but Soobin hears it. 

Soobin shakes his head. “That’s not possible, Yeonjun, I could never hate you, even if I wanted to.” 

“You would want to hate me.” 

“Yeonjun, mate, please. It’s okay to share, to speak your mind, to voice your emotions.” 

Yeonjun bows his head shamefully. “Where I come from, you can’t have feelings.”    
  


“But you’re with us now, Yeonjun. You’re with us and while you’re with us, you can be you.” 

“I’m a murderer.” Yeonjun’s face contorts in a mixture of emotions, sadness, disgust, anger, all of it directed at himself. It’s his fault, all his fault for letting the agency do that to him, he could’ve escaped on his first mission, the moment he got the feeling that he was doing something  _ wrong _ , he could’ve ran away from the scene, ditched the backpack, gone to the nearest city and built a life there, but he didn’t, he carried through with the mission despite his instincts. It’s all Yeonjun’s fault.

“That wasn’t you, Yeonjun.” 

“My hands, my legs, my body, my face, that was  _ me _ , Soobin.” 

“I don’t mean externally, Yeonjun, I’m talking about emotionally, mentally. I’ve had a glimpse inside of you and there’s so much more than some-some emotionless soldier, all you have to do is truly embrace yourself.” 

Yeonjun keeps quiet, this subject is too painful, too much, too overwhelming for his fragile mind to process and comprehend. Instead, he lays down on his side, curling up as best he can and closing his eyes. Sleeping has never been an escape, but it’s the only way out of this conversation, so he sleeps. 

+++

_ At the age of sixteen, the students in the program are given their first mission to complete. Most of the time, the missions are small, insignificant, like taking out werewolves pretending to be humans, or taking down a couple werewolves while they’re separated from the pack; they must work up to bigger missions like taking out entire packs, or taking out more than one pack at once.  _

_ But for Yeonjun, it wasn’t a small mission he was tasked with, no, he had to take out the head alpha of a pack, which is considerably big because take out the alpha, the rest of the pack is in the palm of Yeonjun’s hand. After he takes out the head alpha, he has to kill the rest of the pack, but he’s been specially instructed to take them all out one by one, he has to snipe them.  _

_ The head countess herself was the one to hand him the mission, he’s not sure why, but it was her and he had to fulfill the mission to the best of his ability, meaning he can’t waste a single bullet.  _

_ It’s good that this pack is fairly small, only a group of twenty or so, all he has to do is kill the head alpha and the rest will fall into place. He has to group them somehow, get them to be sitting ducks so he can silently kill them off.  _

_ For everyone’s first mission, the students must also wear a camera to make sure they execute it the way that was described in the file. After the first mission, if the agency decides they can trust a student with following the instructions on how to take them down, then they take away the camera, but if they decide they can’t trust the student, then they keep the camera until they can and it’s the punishment room for the next few days after the mission.  _

_ Yeonjun was surprised when he read through his first mission in front of the head countess. “This-this is my first mission?” He murmured to himself out loud. A mistake on his part. _

_ “Are you questioning me, Yeonjun?”  _

_ “No, ma’am.” Yeonjun is quick to reply, hoping she won’t punish him for his slip of the tongue. _

_ She narrows her eyes at him but smiles. “Alright. I expect this to be done in a week, Yeonjun. You won’t fail me, will you?”  _

_ “Of course not, ma’am. A week it is.”  _

_ “Good.”  _

_ And Yeonjun did it, he managed to isolate the head alpha, corner him. It took a bit of hand to hand combat since the head alpha knocked Yeonjun’s gun from his hand. He ended up snapping his neck, an instant death for him, a merciful death, but he had to do it. He couldn’t help the gut feeling he had, that maybe, he shouldn’t have killed him.  _

_ Throughout the duration of his mission, there was this tugging, almost sickly feeling going through his body, but he wasn’t sure why it was happening at that very moment.  _

_ He was up in a tree, looking through the scope of his gun. The whole pack is at the watering hole, waiting for the head alpha to come back since he promised to catch a small animal for his pregnant luna. There are five people furthest from the watering hole, the rest are close, he’ll work his way in from the outside, saving the luna for last.  _

_ But there it was again, at the mere thought of killing them, his stomach twists into knots and becomes squeamish, his mind starting to focus on the back of his throat where it feels like he’s ready to retch his guts out. He swallows it down and aims at the first target, then the other four on the outside, bodies dropping like flies.  _

_ Children, teenagers, women, men, he’s taking all of them out so easily, one body after another after another. Tugging, the dizzying feeling in his stomach is too much, overwhelming, he feels the bile coming up his throat, but he chokes it down, aims at the next target and one shot, he’s dead.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Aiming the gun at the last target that’s attempting to flee, the luna of the pack, holding her pregnant belly while screaming and crying as she runs around the dead bodies surrounding the watering hole. Of all places, she hides behind a tree, her side profile still visible.  _

_ Set, aim, fire. The loud  _ thunk _ of a body falls to the ground, and Yeonjun can’t help it, he twists around and vomits, retches next to himself, hears it slide off of the tree branch and flop on the ground. He wipes his mouth on his sleeve and pants.  _

_ Then the next thing he knows, he’s slipping and falling through the branches, reaching for them, grabbing desperately but missing, closing his eyes and waiting to hit the ground- _

+++

“Yeonjun!” Soobin shouts

Yeonjun startles awake and pants wildly while looking around. “Soobin, Soobin-” 

“I’m right here, mate, right here.” Soobin takes Yeonjun’s hands in his own. 

Butterflies in Yeonjun’s stomach, beating their wings harshly, starting to crawl their way up his esophagus, getting up in his throat and he’s barely able to choke out a warning, “Soobin, I’m gonna-” And he spews all over the animal hides underneath him. 

Soobin winces. “Are you okay?” 

Yeonjun shakes his head and throws up once again, spitting after he does, then crying. 

  
Yeonjun is guilty,  _ so guilty. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys are so sweet to me~ thank you for the lovely comments and for the kudos, I appreciate them so so so much and they only motivate me more !! <3   
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	9. Chapter 9

“Should I go get a doctor?” Soobin asks Yeonjun worriedly, reaching over to feel Yeonjun’s forehead for a temperature. “You don’t have a temperature. Does anything hurt?” 

“No,” Yeonjun replies and cries silently. 

“What’s wrong then, mate?” Soobin gently pushes the hair from Yeonjun’s face and thumbs away tears. 

“It’s all my fault…” He cries hysterically, his eyes squeezing shut because he doesn’t want to see what resulted from his guilt. 

Soobin’s eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean, Yeonjun? What’s your fault?” 

“All of it, all of  _ them _ , they’re dead because of me.” He whimpers and clenches his hands into fists, digging his nails into his sink as some form of self punishment. Because he deserves it, he deserves to be punished for what he did. 

Soobin uses his other hand to stop Yeonjun from hurting himself. “Don’t do that, Yeonjun, you’re going to hurt yourself.” He grunts with the effort of uncurling both fists, then puts his hand on both of Yeonjun’s palms to stop him from doing it again. 

“I deserve it, I deserve to be hurt.” Yeonjun sobs. 

“No, no, don’t say that.” Soobin shushes him and caresses his face gingerly, worry overwhelming his soft features. 

“But I killed them.” Yeonjun gasps, inhaling air but exhaling it too quickly to actually take a proper breath. 

“Yeonjun, mate, it’s not you, it’s not your fault.” Soobin tries to reassure him. 

Yeonjun gags a bit then he lets loose on the carpet again. He only cries harder. 

Soobin winces and moves the hand from his face to his back, rubbing it soothingly. “Let it out, Yeonjunnie, let it all out.” 

Yeonjun listens, lets it out once more on the animal fur until his stomach is empty and he can no longer throw up. He pants harshly, his eyes closed, his cries reduced to small whimpers.    
  
“Are you done?” Soobin asks softly. Yeonjun only whines in reply. Soobin scoops up Yeonjun and grabs an extra animal hide, walking out and heading to the river so he can let Yeonjun wash out his mouth. 

Setting him down, Soobin dips the fur into the water and wipes Yeonjun’s mouth, even though he’s turning his head like a fussy baby. “Yeonjun, stay still.” Soobin scolds quietly, holding his cheek so he’ll stop moving. 

Tears continue to run down Yeonjun’s face and he sniffles excessively, frowning deeply while letting Soobin clean him up. “Why are you helping me?” 

“...because I’m your mate?” 

“But I...I’m not good. I’m not good enough to be your mate, I’m not good enough for anything. The world-your world would be better without me in it.” Yeonjun says in dejection, dark thoughts invading his mind, slithering into the vulnerable spots like a snake and coiling around the nerves, squeezing it in a deadly hold. 

Soobin stops what he’s doing and gives Yeonjun a different stare. Yeonjun doesn’t like it, it’s too...serious for Soobin’s soft facial features. The look in his eyes, in his soul, is almost fiery, solemn in an angry way, eerily calm. He doesn’t want to see it. 

Roughly, rougher than expected from Soobin of all people, rough enough to make Yeonjun gasp, Soobin grips his chin, leans forward, and growls, low so only Yeonjun can hear it. “Never talk like that, do you understand me, omega?” 

Yeonjun is truly appalled by this behavior, but so attracted to it. The tears stop flowing, like Soobin hit some magical button. His breath escapes his lungs, his eyes widen, heart pounds, loudly, so loud, Yeonjun is afraid Soobin might hear it, the butterflies reappear but they don’t bat as harshly as before, instead it’s a fluttering feeling. 

Soobin snaps out of it, and lets go of Yeonjun quickly, his eyes panicking and his hands retracting from Yeonjun. “Yeonjun, I-I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” 

Yeonjun’s mouth hangs open until he closes it and looks down, shaking his head in response to Soobin’s question. “Um, no, no, you didn’t hurt me at all. I’m okay.” He sniffles and clears his throat, heat crawling up to his cheeks. 

Sighing in relief, Soobin sags. “Okay, good.” 

Yeonjun shifts closer to the water and scoops some into his hands, rinsing his mouth out with the water. He has no idea what’s in the water or what it has touched, but the taste of his own vomit isn’t a very nice taste, so he’ll take his chances. Spitting the water into the soil, Yeonjun makes a face. 

"Here," Soobin holds out a handful of berries. "So your mouth doesn't taste bad."  


Yeonjun accepts them and throws them all in his mouth, the sweet juiciness of the berries beating out the previous taste and also putting something in his stomach after he had emptied it earlier. "Thank you." 

Silence holds them there for a bit before Soobin asks, “Do you want me to take off the rope?” 

Perplexed, Yeonjun turns his head and looks at Soobin. “What?” 

“Do you want me to take the rope off of your hands and ankles?” 

“Why would you do that?” 

“Well,” Soobin bows his head shyly, “you changed after Hyuka saved you. You said you owed him, a werewolf, your  _ life _ , you asked what it would take to be a part of this pack, you felt  _ guilty _ for what happened before.” 

“How do you know it’s not going to be like the other times?” Yeonjun wouldn’t try to run away, he wouldn’t, but he still has to ask because Soobin is trusting him so easily, maybe  _ too _ easily. Yeonjun doesn’t even trust himself. “I haven’t really given you any reason to trust me, I haven’t proven myself worthy of your trust, Soobin. Why give it to me so...easily?”

Soobin shrugs. “Just a feeling, mate.” 

Yeonjun is incredulous. “A feeling? That’s all you’re going off of, Soobin? A feeling?” Just from his previous observations of Soobin, he’s able to tell Soobin is soft and kind hearted, but this? “You’re so naive, Soobin.” Yeonjun growls, though he’s confused as to why Soobin’s extreme kindness is irritating him. 

“Like you would know, I actually trust my instincts.” Soobin bites back verbally, but back tracks the second he finishes the sentence. “Oh my goddess, I can’t believe I just said that to you.” He sounds scared, like he’s scared of Yeonjun’s reaction. 

It hurts, hits his heart like someone hit it with a knife, hacking at it instead of straight through it. “No, you’re right. I wouldn’t know anything about it.” He takes a deep breath, rolls his lips into his mouth then releases them with a puff of air. “If you really trust your instincts, then do it.” Yeonjun holds out his tied hands to Soobin. 

Without a second thought, Soobin unties his hands then his feet, taking the rope and showing it to Yeonjun. “I trust you, Yeonjun.” 

Yeonjun can’t believe he did that. “I can’t believe you did that.” 

“It happened.” Soobin stands and reaches a hand out to Yeonjun. 

Taking the outstretched hand, he stands up as well and exhales, it’s been a bit since he’s walked and it feels good. He takes a couple steps and feels his legs wobble from lack of use, but he’s able to pick it up again, moving closer to Soobin while looking at his legs, smiling and even chuckling a bit. 

He moves his gaze up to meet Soobin’s eyes, smiling at him. Then Soobin’s hand is suddenly on his cheek and he’s leaning down, pressing his lips onto Yeonjun’s. 

The pressure is gentle, Soobin’s plush lips meeting Yeonjun’s plump ones in a velvety kiss. Yeonjun feels a pull, like he’s drawn to Soobin, like he wants to indulge in this, but it’s...unnatural to him, he barely knows Soobin and this attraction can’t be as real as it feels. 

Yeonjun snaps out of the trance Soobin’s touch puts him in, pulling away and touching his lips. “Why-why would you do that?” His smile immediately disappears and he feels...scandalized. 

Soobin moves away and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself, mate.”    
  


Yeonjun bites his lip and turns away from Soobin. “Let’s just...go back to the tent, Soobin.” 

“Wait, Yeonjun,” Soobin follows after him, striding beside him with the rope and dirty animal hide in hand, “didn’t you...feel anything?” 

“Of course I felt something, Soobin.” 

“So why did you-” 

Yeonjun stops and glares at Soobin. “Are you seriously going to ask me that? Soobin, I barely know you and you-you just...kissed me. I-I’ve never been,” he trails off, huffing and looking down at his feet. 

“You’ve never kissed anyone before?” Soobin questions with confusion. 

“At the agency,” Yeonjun pauses, he shouldn’t be saying this, shouldn’t be telling Soobin anything about the agency, but he can’t stop his mouth now that he’s started, “we…” he has to force a breath, inhaling, exhaling, checking his surroundings in paranoia, “we weren’t allowed to date or kiss or have sex. We couldn’t...we couldn’t even be friends.” 

Soobin reaches out a cautious hand towards Yeonjun. Yeonjun flinches as if expecting to be hit by him, a reflex more than anything. Soobin retracts his hand. “I’m so sorry. I-I thought, well, I assumed that as a human, you’ve dated before, had crushes, friends that might’ve become more than friends.” 

Gazing down, Yeonjun kicks his feet into the dirt. “No. Those were some of the rules. We couldn’t even pleasure ourselves, they would know and they would punish us.”    
  
“What would they do to you?”

Yeonjun closes his eyes, pushes away the images of himself tied up, getting beaten, being sliced by the head countess’s obsidian knife, tries to forget the heated electricity that shot through his body. “Nothing. I-I can’t talk about it anymore.” 

“You can’t? Or you won’t?” Soobin asks and Yeonjun finds his question rather irritating. 

“Does it really matter, Soobin? God, you’re so...ugh, annoying!” Yeonjun growls and storms off to the tent. 

He hears Soobin sigh and whine a bit then run to catch up with him. “Look, I’m really sorry, Yeonjun-” 

“Are you sure? Cause you’ve said sorry to me a lot tonight, I’m starting to question if you really mean it.” Yeonjun says, not looking at Soobin when he finally catches up to Yeonjun. 

“Yeonjun, stop for a second please.” Soobin grabs his arm and pulls him back. 

Yeonjun flinches at the sudden movement, then rips his arm from Soobin’s hold. “Don’t fucking grab me like that, Soobin! What the fuck is your problem?” 

“Yeonjun, please, just-hear me out, please.” Soobin squeezes his eyes shut. “Look, I’m sorry I kissed you without permission, I’m sorry for assuming things about you, I’m sorry for prying when I knew the subject is hard for you, I’m sorry for being annoying, I’m sorry about grabbing you. It’s-it’s the middle of the night and we’re both just tired, lets just go to sleep and we’ll talk in the morning, okay? I really am sorry, Yeonjun, please forgive me, I’ll be better, I promise.” 

Licking his lips, eyes wandering and scanning anything it lands on, Yeonjun sighs after giving it a bit of thought. “Fine. But only because we share a tent.” 

Soobin’s lips break into a breathtaking smile. “Thank you, mate, you won’t regret it.” 

“Come on,” Yeonjun says and starts walking to the tent, Soobin following him. 

They make it back to the tent, Soobin taking out the animal hide with the vomit and throwing it outside before replacing it so they could sleep on a fresh one. Yeonjun watches Soobin lay down and close his eyes, then lays back himself, turns onto his side, away from Soobin, with his eyes wide open. 

Yeonjun doesn’t sleep the rest of the night, mainly because the guilt is eating him alive. 

+++

Yeonjun watches the way light seeps through the crack in their entrance flaps, waits for the sound of waking wolves, low murmurs of chatter and annoyingly chipper birds breaking through the trees. Eventually, Yeonjun’s eyes move to Soobin, who’s passed out, his mouth parted, pursed, his cheeks puffed, his hair disheveled on his forehead. 

His lips tingle with the ghost of Soobin’s kiss on them. Yeonjun traces them with his fingertips, a shiver traveling down his spine. Yeonjun liked the kiss, liked it too much, liked it so much that he didn’t want Soobin to stop, but Yeonjun isn’t sure this is how attraction works, he really wouldn’t know how it works, though he doesn’t think it’s like that. 

Breaking himself free of his thoughts, Yeonjun sits up and stretches, peaking through the crack in their entrance flaps. He can’t see much, the sun is shining bright over the landscape and blocks his vision, but he can see the shadows of arising wolves passing by as they roam around to get to whatever activity they’re going to do for the day. 

A snore and then a groan tells Yeonjun that Soobin has finally awakened so they can start their day. Soobin’s groggy, sleep filled morning greeting only further proves his claim, “Morning, mate.” 

Instead of answering, Yeonjun turns and looks at Soobin, his eyes half lidded and bagged with exhaustion aching black circles. 

Soobin doesn’t notice right away, but when he does, he says something immediately. “Did you get any sleep at all?” 

  
“Tossed and turned.” Yeonjun lies easily. He didn’t even try sleeping, not once, not even when his eyes started burning with lethargy, yearning for the rest he so desperately needed, especially after his little episode on the animal pelt outside their tent. 

“Do you want to try to get some more rest? I could maybe get you some herbal tea or sing you a song or-” 

“No, I’m fine.” 

“Are you sure?” Obvious concern drips from Soobin’s tone, the emotion pressing up against the lens of his eyes like an eager child looking through a glass at an aquatic animal. 

“Yes, Soobin. I’m sure.” 

Sighing, Soobin nods and accepts Yeonjun’s wishes, though Yeonjun can tell he knows better than to believe him. “Well, Taehyung has his morning class for omegas.” 

“What class?” 

“How to prepare the catch their mate brings home, how to recognize non-poisonous berries and collect them, how to weave baskets from flexible wood, normal omega stuff. I think today is weaving.” Soobin shrugs. 

Yeonjun makes a face. “That doesn’t sound...worth my time.” 

Soobin looks at him, caught off guard by his comment. “What? Mate, you said you would try.” 

“Omegas really do that stuff? They sound like trapped housewives, not free wolves.” 

“Yeonjun, it’s tradition, omegas learn this as they’re growing up. Most of the ones I know don’t mind because of their natural instincts as an omega, so just...give it a try, maybe it’s not as bad as you seem to think it is.” 

Yeonjun sighs this time. “I don’t know, Soobin. Do omegas even get a choice?” 

Soobin flips the question around his mind, Yeonjun can see it in the way internal conflict flashes in his eyes. “Yeah, but now that I think about it, it’s kind of limited. You can be a regular omega, which most choose, become a doctor or nurse, babysitter, or a teacher. It’s just the way things are.” Soobin gives a half hearted shrug. 

Frowning, Yeonjun shakes his head. “Why can’t omegas be hunters? Builders? Fighters?” 

“Why do you suddenly care about this, Yeonjun?” 

“Because it sounds like I’m a part of the minority, and I’m so much more than a bitch for a mate to impregnate or a housewife that has to prepare dinner.” 

Soobin’s lips twist up sheepishly as he works on his reply to Yeonjun. “Yeonjun, it’s just...a werewolf thing. Tradition, we live by ancestral traditions. Our ancestors assigned the roles to each second gender because of what they were physically able to do and how they acted. It’s probably in our best interest to not question and stick to the traditional ways and rules.” 

Yeonjun doesn’t feel like fighting with Soobin again, despite the fact that he cares about this subject more than he’d like to let on. “Whatever, I’ll just go to the class and get it over with.” 

“You never know, mate, maybe you’ll like it that way.” Soobin gives him a small smile of encouragement then stands. “Um, I’ll walk you to Taehyung’s class.” 

Yeonjun goes to walk out but Soobin stops him one more time. “Wait, we need to change your outfit.” 

“Why?” 

“So you’ll fit in more and it’ll symbolize the pack.” 

“...Not yet. I-I don’t want to do that yet. Maybe later.” 

“I know it’s more...showing than most clothes you’ve probably worn, but I think it’ll help you-” 

“I said no, Soobin.” Yeonjun glares at Soobin lightly. 

Then it’s like Soobin finds something in Yeonjun’s glowering eyes, digging in deep, piercing into his soul, discovering his unspoken secrets without permission,  _ invading _ . “Last night you said they used to punish you. Do you-” 

“Stop it, Soobin, stop it right now.” Yeonjun warns. 

“I mean, we didn’t see any when we lifted your shirt to take care of the bear wound-” 

“Soobin!” Yeonjun exclaims, his voice cracking with vulnerability. 

Soobin stops this time and Yeonjun can tell there’s an apology on the tip of his tongue. But he doesn’t want to hear another apology, he just wants to get this stupid thing over with. 

“Just take me over there, Soobin.” 

They walked through a small part of the forest, one filled with an abundance of varying berries and other fruits before finding a small clearing of light green grass, a group of omegas circled around none other than the bright, bubbly, boisterous Taehyung. 

Soobin leaves him with a clumsy wave and his signature dimpled smile, ignoring the sheepish apology within it. Yeonjun’s afraid to admit he finds it endearing and even a bit heartwarming. 

Hesitance appears in Yeonjun’s careful steps as he draws nearer and nearer to the circled up omegas, Taehyung distracted with rattling off instructions to them, each one with a pile of flexible wood and a diversified grouping of flowers to customize the baskets they’re weaving. 

Shyly, he approaches them until Taehyung spots him and beams. “Yeonjun? Are you here to take a class?” 

Having a cluster of omegas, mostly teenagers or young adults, females outnumbering males, staring at him doesn’t quell the anxiety that’s built up in his chest from the moment Soobin left him. Without verbal reply, Yeonjun nods, trying his best to ignore the suspicious and distrusting stares from the omegas. 

“Great!” Taehyung excuses himself from the middle of the circle, standing and gesturing Yeonjun closer. Yeonjun steps closer and Taehyung suddenly wraps an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into his side, then turning to face the group. “Everyone, I’m sure you know the infamous Yeonjun, used to be hunter, now omega werewolf, and look here, he’s decided to give our pack a chance! How great is that?

“Now, I know what you’re thinking- ‘Taehyung, why the fuck are we letting an ex hunter join us? He should be strung up and killed for what he tried to do to our darling Huening Kai!’ And although that may be true, he’s also Soobin’s mate. Our very own luna asked him to give our pack a chance, and it seems he is since he’s here with us right now. So I plead with you all, be welcoming, kind, and warm, and if you can’t do that, which is totally understandable, I kindly ask you to not say anything out of line and remain cordially polite. We can’t stoop to the level of our enemy, that only makes us as bad as them. 

“Our pack is forgiving, so allow us to grace Yeonjun with a chance to prove himself to us. He’s going to try really hard, right, Yeonjun?” Taehyung looks at Yeonjun with a smile that says he’s genuinely glad that Yeonjun is here to learn with them. 

“Yeah, I’ll do my best to keep up.” Yeonjun replies, allowing the ends of his lips to quirk up in a smile before it falls. 

“Well, with that said, I want you all to continue weaving your baskets to the absolute best of your ability. If you have some trouble, ask a friend. I’ll be right back, I’m just going to help Yeonjun collect some wood and flowers so he can get the hands-on experience as well.” Taehyung smiles at them all then leads Yeonjun away from the group, behind some bushes and trees. 

Yeonjun sighs in relief when he’s away from the other wolves, he deserves the stares and mistrust because of what he did, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to get uncomfortable under the scrutiny. He’s lucky Taehyung said something so they might stop the staring. Or not, it just depends on them, and Yeonjun is really hoping they will listen to him. 

“Don’t just stand there and stare at the bush, get in there and pick some flowers and sticks. I’ll show you how to tell if it’s usable or not.” Taehyung gestures to the bushes around them, each one with different kinds of flowers, flashy purple, pompous red, royal blue, powder pink, lots of different colors and shapes standing out in their own unique way. 

_ Make one for Soobin _ , the omega within him suggests. 

_ I don’t want to make one for him, he doesn’t deserve it _ , Yeonjun replies while internally glaring at the voice. 

_ He may be a bit pushy and overly curious, but he’s only ever been a good mate to you _ , the voice stands up for Soobin. 

Yeonjun scoffs to himself,  _ You forgot snappy. _

“Ah, talking with your wolf?” Taehyung lingers beside Yeonjun, his hands clasped behind his back. 

“How did you know?” It's a bit weird hearing someone call the voice in his head his ‘wolf’.

“Your eyes glaze over, it happens to all werewolves. Seen it too often not to recognize it.” 

Stepping forward, Yeonjun looks over the bushes in front of him and plucks a blue flower from the bush.    
  
“Well, flowers are pretty easy, just make sure you have the stem so you can weave it in. For the sticks, there’s a small test I like to do.” Taehyung pulls off a spare branch and holds it in both hands, bending it a bit further than a regular branch would and showing it off to Yeonjun. “See this? If it doesn’t bend to at least this point, don’t use it.” 

Yeonjun agrees and then picks up branch after branch, testing them, breaking some, stretching others further than he thought a branch could go, collecting sticks in his hands while leaving the flowers for after so that he can focus on having enough to weave the basket. The blue flowers flutter delicately on top of the stick pile with the stem attached and Yeonjun turns back to Taehyung. 

“Is this enough?” 

“Yeah. That’s perfect. Let’s go rejoin the group and I’ll help you get started.” Taehyung guides him back to where the group chatters away, quieting down once they spot Taehyung and Yeonjun. “Make some room, peoples, Yeonjun needs some space to work as well. Scoot, scoot!”

The circle of wolves obey and make room for Yeonjun to sit between two female omegas, Yeonjun setting down his supplies, sitting down, and waiting for Taehyung to teach him how to weave the basket while simultaneously trying to ignore the constant glances and occasional whisper around the circle. 

Taehyung settles down in front of Yeonjun with his own untouched supplies and proceeds to demonstrate how to weave a basket. He starts from the bottom up, looping, crossing, pulling through, pulling out if messed up, more crossing, more looping, tying flower stems in every now and then. Yeonjun copies the technique as best he can, follows every loop, cross, wrap, pull, push, and though he does stumble, he catches on rather quickly. 

“Wow, Yeonjun, I’m impressed. You’re getting this faster than some of the others. Look, you’re almost done with your basket.” Taehyung pointed at Yeonjun’s small basket, Yeonjun moving onto the handle. “The handle’s the trickiest part, but you’re pretty much a natural at it. It took me forever to actually master the handle, I used to suck at it.” 

A little smile tugs at the corner of Yeonjun’s lips at the praise. “Thanks, Taehyung.”    
  


“No problem. It’s not so bad being an omega once you learn everything and master it, it’s rather...peaceful I would say.” Taehyung replies, finishing off his basket with an off center flower.

“What do we make these for?” 

“Well, they can be presents for mates, families, or even friends, sometimes we need to make them for the hunters so that they have something to carry back all the kills, and sometimes it’s for us omegas to help carry belongings when moving or collecting berries. Once you master baskets, then you can go on to making toys for pups and other stuff.” Taehyung explains, thoroughly. 

Yeonjun hums thoughtfully. That doesn’t sound too bad, omegas sound plenty useful to the pack, though he does wish they could do more. But he doesn’t bring up the topic, instead, saving it for later. “How does this look?” He holds up his basket with blue flowers intertwined with the branches. 

“For this being your first time ever making a basket, it’s really good. You’ll master it quickly if you keep making them as well as this.” Taehyung smiles widely and nods approvingly towards Yeonjun. 

Yet again, a tiny smile makes its way to Yeonjun’s lips, close-mouthed, no teeth, but it’s more than he’s ever given Taehyung before. “Well, at the agency, they-” And then the smile is gone, and Yeonjun stops talking. He can’t discuss the agency with anyone, he knows better, knows he isn’t supposed to do that.

_ Never speak nor discuss the agency with outsiders _ , Yeonjun will be punished. He already broke the rule once telling Soobin even the smallest details about the agency, he doesn’t feel like risking it again. 

“Are you going to continue or…?” Yeonjun shakes his head and Taehyung nods in understanding. “I just want you to know that the agency you work for, they’re not here, and whatever they did to you to make you so...scared, they can’t do it anymore.” Placing a hand over Yeonjun’s, looking at him earnestly, he says, “You’re safe here, Yeonjun.” 

Yeonjun bites his lip, listens to Taehyung but doesn’t respond. He questions it, is he really safe here?

+++

_ “Yeonjun, why are we punishing you?”  _

_ Tears stream down his face, his arms held up by chains, his front half facing the wall, his back half to the staff punishing him. His face and chest are flushed, pinkish red from the intense heat of fear and Yeonjun’s excessive sobbing. _

_ Yeonjun can’t remember, can’t think about why they’re punishing him. His mind is rolling circles, his heart racing, dizziness preventing him from grasping any thought or even consciousness, Yeonjun practically gasping for air, his lungs not retaining enough oxygen.  _

_ A crack of a whip, a laceration leaking blood, a resounding scream, a wailing cry.  _

_ “I’m going to ask you again. Why are we punishing you, Yeonjun?”  _

_ Yeonjun scrambles for a reason, trying to grip his sanity, his rationality so he can answer the question just as they want, a small shred of hope filling Yeonjun at the prospect that it could be over if he gives the correct answer.  _

_ Light bulb above his head, Yeonjun remembers. _

_ “I-I discussed my-my mission with a-a p-peer.”  _

_ White, hot pain courses through his body right after the admission, thick, heated blood leaking down his back, the air hurting him, the moisture on his skin from the exerted energy of screaming and crying, stinging and burning the lashed, open skin.  _

_ Yeonjun screeches from the top of his lungs, tears overwhelming his tear ducts and eyelids, frozen in pain because moving only causes him more pain.  _

_ “And?”  _

_ “That was it, I swear!” Yeonjun yells, shouts for mercy, begs for it, hoping they’ll concede because Yeonjun’s only ever been honest with the agency, admitted he was wrong when he did wrong, followed the rules as best as he can and as much as possible.  _

_ Another strike to the back, more trickling blood, more searing heat tearing through his body, another bellow tearing itself from his sore throat, cutting itself off at one point because his voice finally gave out.  _

_ “And?”  _

_ “I didn’t do anything else! Please, I didn’t.” His voice is raspy, cuts out at random points of the sentence, doesn’t go above a whisper.  _

_ One last blow and black takes over Yeonjun’s vision.  _

__ +++

“Yeonjun,” Soobin says, shaking Yeonjun awake. 

Yeonjun jolts, his eyes opening, the tear tracks wet on his face and the air in his lungs returning from where it had escaped too quickly in his dreams. 

He sobs and whimpers pathetically at the dream he had and Soobin goes through the routine that they’ve established. He cups Yeonjun’s cheeks delicately and wipes at the tears, caressing his face with his thumbs and shushing him gently. 

“Shh...it’s okay, Yeonjunnie, it’s okay.” More tears and soft cries are the answer to Soobin’s attempts at consoling him. “I liked the pretty basket you made me, mate.” 

At the name, Yeonjun’s heart flutters and his cries eventually fade away, he also remembers giving the basket to Soobin, his face surprised but grinning from ear to ear. He leans into Soobin’s hands more and stares up into his gentle, caring, dominating eyes. 

“That’s it, baby, calm down for me, okay?” Soobin’s voice is heavy with alpha authority and sleepiness, it drapes over Yeonjun like a protective blanket, one of comfort and reassurance. 

His eyes twinkle, express his very soul, so open, so readable, Yeonjun gazes deeply, reads, reads into him, into his pure soul, watches, allows it to settle him down, ground him. 

“Good boy.” Soobin whispers to him. 

Yeonjun lets it happen, because this, the comfort Soobin brings him, the soft affection he gives, the soft affection Yeonjun never knew he needed, that shows Soobin’s character, feels more natural than anything Yeonjun’s ever experienced before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back y'all and i had a pretty good trip, also the comments are so motivating and i really really appreciate them, I seriously love when people interact with what they've read bc its so interesting to see their pov  
> hope all of y'all are doing well, here's a chapter for you and hope you enjoyed it :)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	10. Chapter 10

Yeonjun wakes up the next morning, a heavy weight on his torso and heat pressed up against his back. Grogginess and sleepiness fogs his stare, but he blinks it away, looking down to figure out what is on him. 

It’s Soobin’s arms weighing on his waist and alarms go off in Yeonjun’s head, turning to see that Soobin is pressed into his back, head nestled into the dip between his shoulder blades. 

“Uh, Soobin?” His heart bumps harshly against his rib cage. “Soobin?” Yeonjun puts a hand on his arm and shakes vigorously. 

Soobin groans, pulling him closer and snuggling deeper into his back. “Sleep, mate.”

“S-soobin, let go.” He tugs at his arm, trying to pull away from the iron grip. 

Soobin must hear the alarm and slight panic in his voice because he releases him and moves back, more awake than he was a second ago. “Sorry-sorry, I was just...before you went back to sleep, you asked if I could hold you, because of the nightmare. I-I got carried away.” 

Yeonjun collects himself up in a ball, sitting on his butt, arms circled around his legs as he puts his head between his knees. “It’s-it’s okay…” 

“Uh,” Soobin pauses, awkward tension filling the air, “are you going to another one of Taehyung’s classes today?” Soobin asks, pulling on the hairs of the animal hide. 

“Yeah, he’s having one this afternoon, it’s how to skin an animal and cook it then it’s going to lead into how to clean, stretch, and dry the hide so we can make tents, clothes, mats, stuff like that.”

Soobin nods. “Well, when you learn it, then um, you can teach me and I’ll help you after I catch the animals. We can build this tent together, make it our home.” His lips twitch and pull up into a smile. 

“Yeah maybe.”

It’s awkward - Yeonjun makes it awkward - he doesn’t want to talk with Soobin. The way they were touching, the way Soobin was holding him, it was so...intimate, so  _ close _ . Back at the agency...he would be punished for this kind of thing, it’s another rule, it would make him...weak to do this, to allow Soobin in his closed off world, to let Soobin see him more vulnerable than he already has. 

“What are you thinking about, mate?” 

“Nothing.” 

“I know you’re thinking about something, I can see it in your eyes. You know you can tell me anything.” 

“It’s nothing.” 

Soobin shifts forward carefully, like Yeonjun is some caged animal, like one wrong move and he’ll be sorry. “Mate, you keep everything to yourself. It must be so hard on you, holding in all those feelings like you have done for the most part of your life- crying, vomiting involuntarily, because you won’t talk about it, your body gets it out some other way.” 

Yeonjun shakes his head and turns away. “No, I’ve been, I’ve only needed to rely on myself, and that’s all I ever need.”    
  


“Yeonjun, these uncontrollable reactions you have to your dreams, it’s unhealthy. Eventually, Yeonjun, you’re going to get sick and maybe even…” Soobin stops himself and gulps, his voice heavy with emotion. “I don’t want to see you deteriorate, Yeonjun, you’re my mate, the one I was destined to be with, I can’t just let you die or watch you die. I have to do everything within my power to save you because I…” 

“Because what?” Yeonjun can’t help the words slipping out of his mouth. 

Soobin hesitates, furrows his eyebrows with internal conflict, his head facing down. “Because I love you, even if you don’t love me.”   
  
“But you barely-” 

“Yes, Yeonjun, I barely know you, I know.” Soobin huffs, closing his eyes, twisting his head away from Yeonjun. “But I do love you, so much, Yeonjun. From the first moment I saw you, it was love at first sight, and ever since that day, I have loved you. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, the rest of our lives, I have and will love you.” Soobin turns his head and looks at Yeonjun, his eyes bursting with emotion.

Yeonjun can hear it, the raw emotion, the conviction, the passion, the  _ love _ . No one has ever spoken to Yeonjun like he’s the world, like he’s the center of it all. No one has ever cared for him, worried over him like Soobin has, taken the time to make sure he’s okay, made sure he’s okay in general. 

It’s different, more...overwhelming than Yeonjun thought it would be but maybe it’s because he’s not used to it. The last time anyone took care of him like this, fed him, smiled at him, laughed with him, wanted to know anything about him, was long ago, and those people were his parents, who just so happened to die while taking care of Yeonjun. 

“I’m scared.” 

Soobin’s eyes are wide because he didn’t expect Yeonjun to say anything. “What?” 

“I’m scared.” Yeonjun whispers. “I’ve never had anyone close to me, not since my...my parents. No one wanted to know me, no one wanted to care for me, no one wanted to love me. I’m breaking the rules- the rules are all I’ve ever known, Soobin. I lived by them every single day, now I’m losing everything I know, or at least, everything I thought I knew…” 

Coming closer, Soobin cautiously raises his hand and rests it on Yeonjun’s knee. “I’m here for you, Yeonjun, no matter what it is. I know it’s hard, but you’re doing this and you’re being so brave.” He smooths his thumb over the top of it. “What those people did to you, they can’t do it anymore. I swear, Yeonjun, they can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again, I will protect you. I will give you everything you’ve ever wanted, everything you didn’t know you wanted, and more, because I love you, Yeonjun.” 

Tears swell in his eyelids until they force their way over and Yeonjun can’t stop it, whimpering, crying, the fear welling up inside of him. “But everyone who’s around me, they...they die. Either because of me or because it’s me killing them.”

“Yeonjun, it’s not you, I promise, it’s not you.” Soobin brings up his other hand and cups Yeonjun’s face. “Stop looking for excuses to not let someone in, I know you're scared, but trust me, Yeonjun, you’ll feel so much better when you do. I’ll take such good care of you, mate, I will, please, just let me in. I want to know it, I want to know all of it.” 

  
“Really?” 

“All of it, Yeonjun. I don’t care if it’s the best thing you’ve done or the worst thing you’ve done. I’ll take all of it as long as it’s you.” Soobin smiles, wiping away tears quickly. 

“Okay.” Yeonjun brings up his other hand and rubs the tears away on the other side of his face.

“And I’ll try to pry less, I’ll let you tell me things on your own time.” 

Yeonjun nods. “Okay.” 

“How about we go and pick some berries to eat for breakfast, yeah?” Soobin helps Yeonjun up after he nods, swiping away a couple more tears before pulling him along. 

They exit the tent and walk among the trees and bushes, birds awake and loud, wolves just starting to rise, water rushing past the river bank, cool morning air swirling in their lungs, dew dotting leaves and branches, sun shining beautifully over the landscape. Yeonjun lets the surrounding nature calm him, pawing away the tears on his cheeks. 

Berry bushes pop into their line of sight soon enough and both head over. Yeonjun pulls off each berry slowly, meticulously, placing them into a cupped hand. He glances over at Soobin occasionally, watches the Alpha pick then eat as many berries as he can. 

Yeonjun dwells on a singular thought, the memory of his first mission, the words on the tip of his tongue, pushing at his lips, urging him to tell Soobin. Guilt wells up in his chest and maybe, just maybe it’ll make him feel better if he tells him. 

_ Trust in Soobin, he’ll help you,  _ the voice in his head says and Yeonjun listens. 

“My first mission was horrible.” Yeonjun peaks over to see if Soobin gives him his attention. He’s already looking at Yeonjun when he glances over so he continues. “I had to kill the alpha of the pack then snipe the entire pack while they spent the day at the watering hole, saving the luna for last. She was pregnant, I still shot her. I could’ve run away, could’ve saved all those lives, all those children, those teenagers, those parents, those adults. That unborn child. But I didn’t. And I threw up, right after. 

“Once I finished killing the alpha, my stomach was in knots and something felt....felt  _ wrong _ . I wasn’t okay, but I kept going because I was taught to distrust my instincts, myself. Now I know that it was the guilt that made me throw up, just like it did when I dreamed about it.” 

Yeonjun plucks off a berry, the branch snapping back harshly. The crunching of leaves and branches, the scrunching of grass underneath a foot catches Yeonjun’s ear and suddenly he sees Soobin in his stretched peripheral vision. 

“It’s not your fault, mate.” He says, pulling off a berry and holding it out to Yeonjun. 

Yeonjun takes it from Soobin and eats it, speaking while chewing. “It is my fault. I killed them purposely and didn’t listen to my feelings. I could’ve prevented it, could’ve gotten away from the torture, but I killed those people and I went back to the agency.” His face contorts in guilt. 

“You were brainwashed, Yeonjun. They took everything into account. You were going to make mistakes and they just so happen to force you to make these mistakes. It was do it or get tortured and maybe even killed.” Soobin tries to convince him. “They made rules to follow, punished everything outside of it, and you learned, that’s how it works, mate.”

Yeonjun scrunches up his face, tries to stop the tears that fill his eyes, tries to stop the nauseating feeling deep in his stomach. “I want to go back. Even after all this, even after realizing what they’ve, what they’ve been doing to me, I still want to-to go back. I want them to reassure me that they were right, I want them to  _ punish  _ me.” 

“Why, mate? Why would you want any of that?” 

“Because I know that. It’s-it’s familiar, not confusing, I’m good at getting rules and orders and following them, I don’t know what to do now that I’m not under their absolute control.” 

“But you’re free, Yeonjun, you can do anything you want, have anything you want, without punishment.”

“It was so much easier when I wasn’t. I didn’t have to think as much, I didn’t have to  _ feel _ as much. It’s so hard on me, Soobin, it’s so hard. I have to live like this for the rest of my life, I-I don’t know if I can do it.” 

“Yeonjun, mate, sometimes...doing the right thing isn’t easy. Sometimes it can be so hard that you want to go back to doing the wrong thing. But you can survive this, I know it’s hard right now, but it’ll get easier, I promise, I’ll make sure of it, mate, I’ll do everything I can to make it easier on you.” Soobin says, almost pleading with Yeonjun, trying his best to convince him, trying his best to get him to believe in Soobin’s words. 

Yeonjun looks at Soobin, looks at the desperate expression on his face, then reaches out his hand to Soobin, the one cupping the berries. “I believe you, Soobin. I guess I just need to figure it out.”

Soobin smiles a little bit and takes a berry. “I’ll help, however I can, mate, I will.” 

And Yeonjun listens this time.

+++

He’s back at Taehyung’s workshop, currently peeling the pelt off a squirrel while Taehyung splits open its stomach, fingering out the organs into a basket. He does the same after the pelt is ripped off.

“Alright, you’re gonna roast the whole squirrel. And make sure you burn the organs before you eat as a gift to the moon goddess, kind of like a thank you for this gorgeous land and this good meal.” Taehyung says. “Kookie, take notes, I’m gonna be tired after this, so you’re gonna have to cook.” 

Jungkook laughs, smiling widely at his mate. “We do have our other mate. You know, Jimin?” 

“But Jimin, our little doctor, bless his heart, he’s gonna be working all day. The least you could do is cook for us once in a while, you are watching this demonstration.” Taehyung sasses at his alpha. 

“Like I didn’t just catch more than fifteen squirrels for your class.” 

Taehyung clicks his tongue. “So rude sometimes, see this is what happens when you have an ungrateful alpha.” 

“Way to manipulate.” Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Fine, I’ll make dinner tonight.” 

Taehyung hops up in excitement, leaning down and kissing Jungkook on the lips. “And that’s why I love you, because you let it work.” 

“Anyway, back to class!” Taehyung pops up and sets aside his squirrel. “Now, put your squirrel in your basket, for late lunch or dinner today, and let's take the hide and rip it apart, so it’s flat. Just like this.” He pulls it further apart until it looks like a mat or blanket, the class following the instructions and doing the same. “Now follow me class, we’re taking a little trip to the river.” 

Yeonjun stands and follows Taehyung with the rest of the class, but then he catches sight of Taehyun among the omegas in the back. He must’ve missed him earlier when Soobin dropped him off. 

He slows down then falls into step with the pregnant omega when he walks up. “Taehyun, hey, uh, you’re taking this class too?” He starts off, using that so he can start a conversation, though he’s not the best at it. 

“Yeah,” Taehyun responds, tugging at his squirrel pelt. “I didn’t know you started taking classes either.” His voice sounds genuinely surprised but his face doesn’t show it. 

“Yeah, I, uh, said I would give it a chance. Not as bad as I thought it was, honestly. Uh, I-I thought, well, assumed that you would already know how to do this stuff.” Yeonjun replies, raising an eyebrow. 

“Nope, Beomgyu didn’t pull out quickly enough and werewolf pregnancies tend to be about three times faster than a human pregnancy, so I was already showing by two weeks. I was still learning my doctor things at the time and put off my omegan duties, but once we figured out I was pregnant, Beomgyu took on everything.” Taehyun tells Yeonjun, a small smile twitching at his lips. “He may act dumb at times, but he’s a really good mate. He treats me better than I deserve, he made our tent by himself, hunted and cooked by himself, put up with my hormones by himself.” 

“He does sound like a good guy.” Yeonjun says. “Soobin’s helping me with everything. He’s been really good to me lately. And I’ve been trying my best to open up and become a part of this pack.”

Taehyun hums and looks at Yeonjun. “I’m glad you’ve changed. I think you’ll be a good addition to the pack, Yeonjun.” 

“Thanks. So I guess we’re, um, learning this together. That’s cool. I’ve never...done stuff like this with anyone.”

“Really? What about your friends?”

Yeonjun purses his lips, twists them up in a contemplative way. “Uh, well, you see, friends weren’t really a, uh, thing at the agency. We weren’t allowed to have relations of any kind, they said it made us...weak.” 

“Wow. That must’ve...sucked. Did you ever feel lonely?” 

“There was too much going on to feel lonely. Hatred, fear, they took up so much within me, too much, there wasn’t enough room for loneliness.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, those feelings are awful, I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like carrying that for years.” 

“Yeah...so, uh, how’s the pregnancy going?” 

Taehyun groans and rolls his eyes. “Don’t even mention it, ugh, I just want this pup out of me. It’s so tiring and now I’m on leave at work because they expect the baby to come between the next few weeks.” 

Yeonjun shrugs and glances down at Taehyun’s bulging belly. “I can tell that you liked your job, but aren’t you excited to be a parent soon?” 

“Excited, scared shitless, same difference. Whether I like it or not, I’m gonna have a pup with my mate. I’m pretty sure it’ll all be worth it when they’re  _ finally out of me _ ,” Taehyun looks down at his belly and says the last part to it, placing a hand on the firmed skin. 

Yeonjun can’t help but chuckle. “Well, I’m sure they’ll be out soon, just you wait.” 

“Alright, class! Let’s go ahead and rinse off your pelt, okay!?” At Taehyung’s instruction everyone finds a spot at the river bank and obeys. 

Yeonjun plunges his hide into the water and uses his knuckles to rub over the fur, sometimes having to go in with his fingers to pick out the dried blood and get the pelt as clean as possible. 

“You’re good at this.” Taehyun says from beside him, glancing over at the way Yeonjun is doing cleaning his squirrel fur. 

Shrugging his shoulders, Yeonjun rubs harshly on a spot with a tough blood stain. “I’m just...trying my hardest.”    
  


“Good for you. It seems like you’re really invested in becoming an omega.” 

“You’re not?” 

“Why do you think I became a doctor?”

“Well, if I’m being completely honest, I’d rather be a fighter or something, but Soobin said I couldn’t because of the traditions around here. It’s not that any of this is bad, it’s interesting, wastes time, but I’m only doing this for Soobin.” 

“I get what you mean. I don’t think I was made to do housework like some...human housewife.”

Yeonjun nods, pulling his hide from the water and inspecting it. “Tell me about it.”

“Is everyone just about done washing their hides?” There’s a collective murmur of agreement among the omega’s class. Taehyung nods and holds up his own pelt. “Okay, next step, we’re going to stretch out the hide by putting our hand on opposite sides, parallel from each other, and pulling as hard as you can. Stretch as far as it’ll go. It takes a little bit of arm strength, so do your best.” 

Yeonjun follows the instructions, feeling like he cleaned it as best as he could, and starts stretching and pulling at the ends of the animal hide. Tugs from different ends, slowly but surely seeing the pelt progressively elongate, then moving to work on widening it as evenly as possible.

It only takes a couple minutes and once Yeonjun is sure he’s got it to go as far as it can, he glances over at Taehyun, who seems to be struggling with pulling it. 

“Do you want some help, Taehyun?” 

Surprise fills his wide, doe eyes, but instead of staring, Taehyun nods. “Yes, please.” He hands the hide to Yeonjun and Yeonjun stretches his out just like he did his own. 

“Thank you.” Taehyun says and smiles while taking back his stretched animal pelt. 

“Of course.” Yeonjun returns his smile with a small grin. 

“Everyone done stretching?” Another collective murmur runs over the omegas. “Good! Now, we’re going to lay them all on rocks so they can dry. The sun hits this spot the most, so set it down, remember where it’s at, and you’re free to go for the rest of the day. We have to let them dry overnight, so come back tomorrow and we’ll pick up where we left off.” 

Yeonjun looks over his animal pelt. There’s a distinctive spot on the squirrels fur that Yeonjun saves in his memory to help remember that this one is his. He finds a rock, one where the sun hits it directly, already hot on the top because of the seemingly endless heat of the sun, and rests it over the top, spreading it out carefully over the rock so that all corners and sides are stretched as far as possible and the whole pelt is revealing itself to the sun. 

He searches for Taehyun after, notices that he’s at a rock, and walks over to the pregnant wolf. Taehyun has just finished setting up his fur the way he wants it then spots Yeonjun coming his way. 

“Can I walk you to your tent?”

Taehyun shrugs. “Why not?”    
  


Yeonjun and Taehyun pass by Taehyung and Jungkook on the way, thanking them for the class and the squirrel. Taehyung responds with a boxy smile while Jungkook nods and waves, his other hand wrapped around Taehyung’s waist. Then they stop by the clearing they were in previously, when they had first skinned the squirrel, and pick up their baskets, heading towards the werewolf village. 

“You could probably become a fighter if you really wanted to, Yeonjun.” Taehyun suddenly speaks up. 

“But Soobin said I couldn’t, it’s not the tradition, omegas aren’t supposed to fight.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with asking, though, right? No one has ever asked, no omega has ever tried, at least not while I was alive, but our alpha and luna are very kind, so they might let you.”

“I don’t know. It might be a bad idea, what if I ask and they think I’m trying to infiltrate their ranks or something? It’ll be too risky. I should just stick with this omega thing, it’ll be way easier to gain their trust that way.” 

Taehyun makes a face at that. “Wouldn’t hurt to try, right? If you really want it, then go for it.” 

“Thanks, Taehyun.” Yeonjun sees that they’re near Taehyun’s tent and he gestures to it. “There’s you on the right. Is Beomgyu home?” 

“Probably not, this is usually around the time he goes hunting for dinner, so he has time to prepare it.”    
  
“Oh, well...will you be okay by yourself?” Yeonjun asks as they approach the tent and stand at the mouth of the tent. 

Taehyun rolls his eyes. “Of course, I will, I’m not defenseless. But thanks for asking. I’ll see you next class, Yeonjun, okay?” 

“Okay.” Yeonjun agrees and when Taehyun shoots him a small smile, he returns it instantly. 

Heading back to the tent, Yeonjun sees that Soobin isn’t back. He assumes that he’s probably visiting his family or out with the head alpha doing stuff or something. 

Settling down on the animal skin floor mat, he places the basket with the squirrel in the corner and lays down, deciding to take a nap before starting dinner for the evening. 

+++

_ “Student 5729, Choi Yeonjun, please report to the head countess.”  _

_ It’s the overhead speaker that announces his name and a shiver wracks through Yeonjun’s spine, snaking through his ribs, climbing down his arms, hopping down his legs, exiting through his toes. He almost stops breathing, fear clogging his airways.  _

_ But he doesn’t let it show, doesn’t allow the fear to surface, he’d look weak in front of his peers and they can’t think, not even for a second, that Yeonjun is weak, he has to be seen as the best 24/7.  _

_ He turns, head held high, walking towards the head countess’s office with faux confidence and pride in his step, fake arrogance dancing in his eyes, feigned nonchalance painting over his features. Internally, he pales, stops himself from running away, fright speeding up his heart rate, seizing his lungs under restricting control.  _

_ Knocking on the door, Yeonjun waits for the head countess to call him in.  _

_ “Come in.” Yeonjun does. “Ah, Yeonjun, sit down for me please.” Her voice is sickly sweet, a dark, ominous undertone hidden beneath the heavy drips of sugar.  _

_ Yeonjun obeys and sits down in the chair stationed in front of her desk. “Thank you, ma’am.”  _

_ “I’m glad you came right away, I know I can always count on you.” She stands from her chair and walks over to a TV within Yeonjun’s line of sight. “I want to show you something, then I’m going to ask you a question.”  _

_   
_ _ She clicks on the TV, then it starts playing Yeonjun’s first mission from his body cam, when he kills the alpha, watches the life drain out of the creatures eyes after the neck is snapped, when he snipes the rest of the pack, the panicked cries, panicked screams, panicked shouts, when he shoots the luna, gazes directly at the way she lands on her pregnant belly after falling forward, and lastly, when he throws up beside himself. The head countess stops it right there.  _

_ The same feeling returns deep within him, but he keeps it to himself, afraid of what she’ll do if she sees any emotion that she deems bad.  _

_ “Why did you throw up, Yeonjun?”  _

_ Yeonjun hesitates. “I-I don’t know, ma’am, it was just a reaction, I guess.”  _

_ The head countess isn’t satisfied with that answer, smile falling away completely, lips a hard line, eyes a piercing glare. “I’m going to ask you again, Yeonjun, you’re not going to lie to me. Why did you throw up?”  _ __   
_   
_ __ Yeonjun looks away from her eyes, searching the ground as if searching for an answer to give her. “It-it really was a reaction ma’am, I swear.” 

_ “A reaction to what?”  _

_ Yeonjun bites his lip, tosses the question around his mind and waits for an answer to stick.  _

_ “A reaction to what, Yeonjun!?” She yells impatiently, glaring, her bottom lip moving up like it does when she’s angry, her red-heeled feet shifted apart, hands tight fists against her sides, black hair framing her pale face, striped shirt rumpled underneath her blazer where she slouches slightly, pencil skirt stretched from the shifting of her feet. She’s pissed.  _

_ “I’m not sure. My-my stomach was in knots while I was trying to kill the alpha, and something just felt... _ wrong _ when I killed the rest of the pack, I couldn’t help throwing up.”  _

_ The head countess closes her eyes, takes a deep, calming breath, readjusts where she’s standing, the state of her clothes, posture of her body, the position of her facial features. When she opens her eyes again, a smile graces her features. “Oh, Yeonjun. You’re lucky I’m feeling particularly nice today, but you are my best student, you are one of the only ones with the least amount of punishment, I’ll give you some leeway.”  _

_ Yeonjun listens intently, his hands clutching the material of the chair beneath him.  _

_ “You will be punished for this, but I’ll still take away your camera. I believe I can still trust you after this, seeing as you did complete the mission despite feeling this way, and that this will never happen again, correct?”  _

_ “Yes, ma’am, never again, absolutely.”  _

_ “Good. Now that we understand each other, the guards by the doors will escort you to the punishment room. Go ahead.” She nods to the door, stepping carefully to her desk like a fox with a deadly gaze and a plan to take down her prey.  _

_ Yeonjun stands, shaking slightly at the prospect of punishment, it makes him curious and apprehensive as to what they have in store for him this time.  _

_ “Oh and Yeonjun?”  _

_ He turns back to her, looks at her. “Yes, ma’am?”  _

_ “I’ll let you in on a little secret. It gets easier as you keep going. Don’t let your feelings stop you, you can only trust the agency, remember?”  _

_ “Of course, ma’am. Only the agency.”  _

_ “Alright, now scoot.” She shoos him away and he listens, opening the door to where two guards are standing. They immediately grab his arms and take him down a secluded hallway, to a door labelled with a number.  _ 23 _.  _

_ They open the door and toss him in without a second's hesitation, shutting and locking the door behind him.  _

_ The first thing Yeonjun notices about the room is that it’s  _ cold _ , not just regular cold, it’s  _ freezing _ cold, Yeonjun can see his breath when it comes out of his nose and mouth. Goosebumps pop up instantly on bare flesh, his teeth chattering incessantly the moment his hands and knees bare the impact of the ground. What he notices next is that the room is empty, completely empty  _

_ save for Yeonjun and a locked thermostat.  _

-5 _ , it reads in cool blue numbers.  _

_ Yeonjun converts it to fahrenheit in his head. 23 degrees, clever.  _

_ His body trembles at the overbearing cold, but he waits, accepts his punishment, even as he watches his fingers turn blue, as his lips drain to a shady blue, not too deep, but not too light either. He waits seconds, minutes, hours.  _

_ Yeonjun waits. _

+++

Yeonjun startles awake, pops up, his eyes wide as he registers someone is in front of him and that it’s Soobin staring at him. He pants and blinks owlishly. “Wh-what are you doing?” 

“You were curled up tightly into yourself, like you were trying to preserve body heat, you were shaking, you kept whispering ‘cold’ over and over again...was it another nightmare?” Soobin tells him in reply to his question. 

Yeonjun looks down at the soft fur underneath him and nods his head. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Yeonjun shakes his head. 

“Do you want me to hold you?” 

A brave glance up into Soobin’s eyes and a singular nod. 

Soobin comes quickly, crawling over as fast as he can, pulling Yeonjun into his chest, his head resting on his shoulder, head tucked underneath his chin, body heating up from Soobin’s heater like body, soothing hands sliding up and down his back and shoulder, comfort sinking in. Yeonjun absolutely melts into Soobin, closes his eyes, breathes in his vanilla bean scent to relax him even further. 

“It’s okay, mate, it’ll be okay. I’m always here for you, no matter what.”

Yeonjun believes him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man, I've gotten slow and lazier, but oh well  
> here's a new chapter, hope you like it 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	11. Chapter 11

“Soobin?” Yeonjun asks, pulling back a bit from the alpha’s body.

“Yes?” 

“The dream I had, it was-”

“Wait, hold on, Yeonjun,” Soobin interrupts his storytelling, a hand moving up and caressing back some of his hair, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I don’t want to force you into anything. If you’re really sure about telling me, then do, but if you’re not, I’m content with just holding you and comforting you.” 

Yeonjun nods and moves back into Soobin’s body, tucking his head underneath Soobin’s chin and nuzzling in right there. “I’m sure, Soobin. I need to do this, I need to tell you. It’s the only way I can get better…”

“Go ahead then, mate,” Soobin's hand is heavy, reassuring on Yeonjun’s back, rubs in soothing lines and circles, changing it up occasionally. 

Taking a deep breath, Yeonjun can feel the hesitance in his breath, feel the way he’s stalling, creating time for himself to think of whether or not he should really do this. The agency would disapprove, there’s no doubt about it. But...Soobin said the agency can’t get him here, so he should trust his words because he hasn’t been proven wrong since.

Soobin’s voice rumbles in his chest as he murmurs out a soft, “Take your time. There’s no rush, tell me when you’re ready.” 

Warmth travels through the expanse of Yeonjun’s body, butterflies dance lightly in his stomach, his heart in his ears, his throat, loud, so loud that Yeonjun’s unsure if Soobin can hear it, pumping so hard, he even dares to think that Soobin might  _ feel _ it. 

Yeonjun has barely started trusting himself and yet his body seems to react so vehemently whenever he’s close to Soobin. His intestines clench, reminding him of the feeling on his first mission, except this one wasn’t saying it felt  _ wrong, _ but that it felt so, so  _ right _ . Yeonjun goes with it. 

“I told you that I threw up after my first mission. Well, the head countess asked me about it a day or so after. She was generous that day too, she took away my camera despite the guilty feeling, still punished me, but considering I could’ve had it worse, I got lucky. They locked me in a cold room, made me wait in there for hours, I’m not sure how long, but for quite a bit. Room twenty three, negative five degrees celsius, twenty three degrees fahrenheit,” Yeonjun laughs bitterly as he remembers. 

“I was on the edge of hypothermia. You see, when you get to the point where you feel like you already have, you don’t have it, no, you feel like you do, but you don’t. The cold didn’t trap my fingers or toes, I thought I had it, but I never felt the real  _ bite _ , the real frozen jaws of hypothermia close over my fingers or toes or any extremities. Close, but I never felt it.

“Ice wrapped around me, sunk in until it was bone deep then bounced back out, penetrating each layer of skin, over and over and over again. The wait was so long, my fingers blue, my lips blue, cheeks paled, body shivering, it was too cold, I thought they might have forgotten about me, thought I was going to die in there, watch my own breath, my last breath materializing in front of me before I died.

“But I didn’t die and they didn’t forget about me. It was the moment my breathing weakened, when it felt like the air got thinner, when I wasn’t breathing properly, that’s when they unlocked the door and dragged me out of the room to the doctor.” Yeonjun finishes and snuggles deeper into Soobin as if feeling the phantom chill leftover from the freezer-esque room.

Soobin’s arms tighten, squeeze Yeonjun closer to his chest. A low rumble starts in his chest, deep in his throat, and it’s then that Yeonjun feels Soobin trembling violently. “They fucking tortured you,” Soobin’s chest inflates and deflates rapidly, pressing into the side of his head with a harder pressure then the next second no pressure at all. 

Yeonjun panics, rationality flying out the window as the anger in Soobin’s body manifests into a werewolf rage, like Soobin would kill anyone in the agency if Yeonjun picked them out. Then there’s a smell that permeates the air and invades Yeonjun’s nostrils, it’s sour, awful, has him wincing, flinching away from it, and he can tell it’s coming off of Soobin. He feels the urge to help Soobin calm down, to quell the seething fire building within him, to stop the hate from taking over like it had Yeonjun for so long. 

_ Close your eyes, think about calming pheromones then send them out,  _ the voice in his head guides him. 

It feels weird, doing something with his changed body, using methods that a human shouldn’t do, physically can’t do but a werewolf can. He’s never done anything with his acquired werewolf skills, but he guesses that it’s now or never. 

Closing his eyes, Yeonjun takes a deep breath and the idea of calming pheromones appears in his mind, but he finds it weird, the feeling of the pheromones traveling out of his scent glands around his neck. It wafts up to Soobin, taking a bit of time, but making it to the alpha’s nostrils eventually, and he feels Soobin inhale deeply, taking as much air as he can possibly fit in his lungs. 

The sour smell coming from Soobin fades slowly but steadily and at one point, Soobin’s nose digs into his hair, then slides down from his hair to nuzzle into his cheek, from his cheek to his jaw to his neck, lightly skimming his neck with the tip of his nose, until finally it lands on his scent gland, breathing in keenly. 

Yeonjun’s eyes widened in shock at the way Soobin moved his face against him, a trail of chills, shivers, and shudders left behind where he nudged his nose. Air puffs out of his mouth, heart racing, skin heating, butterflies batting their wings excitedly in his stomach, a light, airy moan escaping from his lips before he can stop it. 

His touch feels good, Yeonjun’s mind hazing over in a slight pleasure while Soobin sniffs, prodding his nose against the skin over his gland, nestling gently. He doesn’t even break out of it when he feels a hot, wet breath gust over the spot where his scent seeps out of his neck. 

But then it’s gone, Soobin pulling back quickly with nervous, anxious eyes, as they sweep over Yeonjun’s form. Yeonjun whines at the loss until he comes to his senses, tilting his head up right from the submissive position he put it in when Soobin was pushing his nose into his sensitive neck. 

“I’m so sorry, mate, I-I didn’t mean to take advantage of your vulnerable state. I don’t know why I lost control.” Soobin rushes to apologize and explain.

Yeonjun shakes his head while staring up at Soobin. “N-No, it’s-it’s okay, Soobin, I...I really liked it.” He says it as if it’s a secret he’s been keeping from himself for a long time. 

Shock takes over Soobin’s features, his mouth agape, eyes wide, eyebrows raised high. “Are you...are you serious? Because if you’re playing with me, Yeonjun, that’s not very nice.” 

“I’m serious, Soobin, it felt…” Yeonjun isn’t sure how to describe.  _ Pleasurable _ comes to mind but that word is too intimate for Yeonjun to say without blushing in embarrassment. 

“It felt good? 

Yeonjun hesitates then nods. “Yeah, it felt good. I-I liked it.” 

“Hmph...I-I’m glad you liked it, I liked it too.” 

Yeonjun hums, biting his lip and looking away. “Um, well, anyway, Taehyung let us keep the squirrel from class, are you hungry?” 

“Yeah, I could eat.” 

Yeonjun nods and extracts himself from Soobin’s arms. The loss of warmth makes his internal omega whine, relating to how he truly feels about leaving Soobin’s hold too, but he keeps going until he reaches the basket with the squirrel in it. 

“Do you want me to start the fire, mate?” Soobin asks, getting ready to exit so he could look for firewood. 

“Yes...please.” Yeonjun takes on. He’s not the best at being polite when it comes to Soobin, but he’s trying. He’s demanding sometimes, but he tries his best to catch himself before he can be unintentionally rude. 

Soobin smiles at him, his dimple gracing Yeonjun’s eyes with its presence. “Okay, I’ll start the fire outside the tent.” 

Soobin leaves and Yeonjun is left alone with his thoughts. That’s never a good thing. 

Yeonjun compares all the werewolves he’s met with the description of the werewolf species the agency gave him. It’s nothing alike, the wolves they described in the books or that he was taught are worlds apart from the wolves he knows. 

Soobin has only ever been kind and caring, never hostile towards him even though Yeonjun tried to kill his baby brother. Huening Kai, out of all people,  _ saved his life _ when he was drowning in the river, he can’t say much for his peers back at the agency who would’ve let him drown because he should’ve been “strong enough” to get out of it by himself. Taehyun, though there was tension, decided to be the bigger person and forgive Yeonjun, talk with him like they might actually have a chance at being friends. Beomgyu, despite the fact that he’s still skeptical and angry at Yeonjun, with plenty of reasons, hasn’t tried to hurt him in any way, shape, or form, instead he mostly keeps it to himself unless provoked. 

There are various others he’s met that have only received him with guarded kindness regardless of him trying to hurt Huening Kai in the beginning. They’re giving him a chance, whereas the agency would have tortured him and/or killed him based on how many rules he broke and what rules he broke. 

Werewolves are his people now, he is a werewolf. But despite the classes he’s been taking, the willingness to try and join the pack, the second voice in his head, the heightened senses, he doesn’t feel like a werewolf. He can’t fit in the human world anymore, he can’t fit in the werewolf world because of where he’s come from, what he’s been taught, what he’s unlearning and relearning, so where does that leave him? Where does Yeonjun go? 

“Mate!” 

Yeonjun startles out of his head and looks up at Soobin, who’s standing in the entrance flaps of the tent, then sighs, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Please don’t scare me like that, Soobin.”

“Sorry, mate, didn’t mean to.” Soobin replies with a sheepish smile, then gestures for Yeonjun to come outside so they can start making dinner. “Come on.” 

With the basket in hand, Yeonjun exits the tent, sitting on one side of the fire while Soobin sits on the other, striking two flintstones together and sparking a fire over the pile of sticks he’s created, a crafty bed of rocks outlining its circular shape. 

“Oh!” Soobin gets up on his feet and rushes inside of the tent before coming back with some kind of contraption that he places over the fire. Three sticks, two vertical and one horizontal between them, two flexible vines holding the horizontal stick onto the other two. “This is a roasting thing, my mom made it for me as a mating gift.” 

There’s a line of string tied around the middle stick that hangs down. “What’s that string for?” 

“To tie the food to. Do you want to tie the squirrel on?” Soobin hands over the hand made object. 

Yeonjun takes it and does exactly that, ties the squirrel onto the stick with the hanging string, then gives it back to Soobin so he can place it correctly. 

Soobin shoves the sticks into the ground on both sides of their fire so that the squirrel is hovering directly over the heat sources, the squirrel starting to cook. “I’m gonna get more sticks so we can make the fire bigger.” 

He runs off to collect more sticks and Yeonjun watches the flames sizzle the back of the squirrel, licking at its sides seductively as if to entice the meat into being consumed by the fire. He only watches the fire and listens to his surroundings. It’s the evening, so all activity from the wolves as well as the other forest creatures, even the nature, the sun setting, already low in the sky, wind shifting low and lightly over leaves, fire crackling brightly as the dark comes to rest over them, the earth closing its eyes and resting for the night as it continues to turn. 

Yeonjun looks up when he hears Soobin’s thumping footsteps heading his way. Soobin throws in the sticks he brought back and the flames lap higher, embracing the squirrel's body in it’s heated arms. 

Soobin sits down again, across from Yeonjun as they cook dinner. “What if I told you a story from my childhood? That seems fire appropriate.”

Yeonjun nods. “Sure, I’ve never heard a childhood story before.” 

“Right, you guys couldn’t have-” Soobin cuts himself off before he can finish that sentence, instead starting his story. “Well, when I was a little, Hyuka and I used to play around a lot. We would play a children's pack game that was called predator and prey. Hyuka is very bright, always has been, and every single time we played that game, he always managed to outsmart me. I’ve never won that game, not once.” 

Yeonjun notices something about Soobin, he notices the way Soobin talks about his brother, a fond look contorting his features to make them softer, his tone shifting to one of endless familial love and devotion, a smile catching onto the corner of his lips and tugging harshly, dimples making deep impressions beside his lips, eyes as bright as the blazing sun. Soobin truly loves his little brother, the little brother that saved Yeonjun’s life, the little brother that Yeonjun almost killed. 

“You really love your little brother, don’t you?” Guilt simmers in his stomach and even as they watch the squirrel roast and a delectable smell comes off of it, Yeonjun feels like he’s going to throw up again.

Soobin smiles softly. “Yeah, he’s the best. He’s smart, funny, absolutely adorable, and he’s always got my back.”    
  


“How could you love me?” Yeonjun’s voice cracks, the fire starting to crackle and pop loudly.    
  


The smile on Soobin’s face disappears. “What? Mate, what are you talking about?” His eyebrows furrow with confusion.

“How could you love me when I tried to kill your brother? You’re so close and I almost...I almost ruined that, I almost ruined all of it. Even if I’m your mate, you should hate me for even trying. Imagine if I did kill him, you would hate me then.”

Sighing, Soobin looks at his mate with a pouting face. “You could’ve killed my brother and yet you didn’t. I love Hyuka, but I’m not gonna hold that against you. You’re a good person, Yeonjun, your goodness was just suppressed by all the bad things they taught you and made you do.” 

“If I was really good, then I wouldn’t have done any of those things.”

“If you didn’t do what they said, they would’ve hurt you or killed you, Yeonjun.” 

“I had so many chances to escape.”

“But you also didn’t know if they were going to track you down or not.”

“I could’ve asked for help.”

“And could’ve ended up dead along with other strangers.”

Yeonjun frowns, his bottom lip pushing out into a pout, when he can’t reply with more things he could’ve done because Soobin is right, if he didn’t do what he had, he wouldn’t have been here, he’d be dead. 

“Yeonjun, mate, there was nothing you could do to escape except get captured.” 

A terrifying thought comes to Yeonjun’s mind. “Soobin, what if they’re...what if they’re tracking me right now? What if they’re coming for you and the rest of the pack?” Concern edges its way through Yeonjun’s tone. “What if they take me back and punish me?” Fright consumes his heart at the prospect of being punished again, especially since he broke so many rules. 

“Hey,” Soobin gets up from his spot opposite of Yeonjun and sits next to him, reaching out and tugging Yeonjun gently into his arms. Yeonjun goes willingly. “They won’t take you, I won’t let them. I’ll protect you, you’re mine, they can’t take you. I promise, mate, I won’t let them get to you again.” 

Yeonjun holds onto Soobin, bites his lip worriedly. “Soobin, they’re really strong-” 

“I said I would protect you and as your alpha, I will fulfill my promise to you, mate, don’t worry.” Soobin nuzzles the side of his head, holding him closer than ever before, tighter than ever before, more desperately than ever before. 

Then the cracks and sizzles and pops from the fire suddenly reach their ears and they’re both looking at the squirrel that’s starting to burn. Soobin lets go of Yeonjun for a moment and pulls out the sticks on the side, removing the squirrel from the heat source and blowing out the tiny fire that had broken out on a small part of it’s skin. They’re lucky the fire died down a bit while they were cooking it or else the squirrel would have been burnt by the time they noticed. 

Soobin looks at Yeonjun, “Do you mind going to get a spare animal hide from the tent?” 

Yeonjun shakes his head and gets up, heading into the tent, grabbing a spare animal hide, and walking out then handing it to Soobin. 

  
Soobin sets it aside for a moment, setting the tied squirrel with the sticks on it before picking up the basket and pouring the organs in the bottom of the basket into the fire. “We do this to thank the moon goddess, if Taehyung didn’t say that already.” He closes his eyes and murmurs under his breath, praying to his deity. 

“I won’t make you do it, but once you start believing in her, she’ll be expecting your offerings and prayers.” Soobin explains to him. Yeonjun nods in agreement.

Untying the squirrel from the stick, Soobin lays the cooked body on the mat, uses his bare fingers to rip off a piece, hissing slightly at the sting from the heat, but blowing on it gently anyway and then holding it up to Yeonjun’s mouth. Yeonjun looks between the meat and Soobin cautiously, glancing for what feels like at least a minute before leaning forward and accepting it, his lips touching Soobin’s fingers. 

A smirk crawls up onto Soobin’s face while Yeonjun chews and swallows the food, frowning -  _ pouting adorably _ \- at him because it looks like he’s trying not to laugh. His eyebrows tip downwards and he questions, “what?” 

“Nothing...nothing, I just...expected you to, I don’t know, take it from my hand, but I like the way you did it.” Soobin chuckles lightly and picks off another piece of meat, holding it out to Yeonjun. 

Yeonjun, being more knowledgeable this time, takes it from Soobin’s hand and puts it in his mouth. 

“No, why did you stop?” Soobin pouts adorably, like a puppy, and whines at Yeonjun.

“You shouldn’t have said anything.” Yeonjun  _ teases _ him, pinching meat to eat and lowering his head to hide the blush appearing on his face. He can’t believe he just did that. 

But Soobin must like it because he tries to feed into it. “Awe, come on, mate, I don’t mind feeding you.” 

Yeonjun shrugs and starts picking off more meat to eat. Soobin sighs and gives up, but still smiles at Yeonjun. They finish the meal quickly, then put out the fire, herding themselves back into the tent and laying on the animal furs. 

“Good night, Yeonjun. Sleep well, mate.” 

“Good night.”    
  
Dreamland swallows him whole.

+++

_ Werewolf children, they played on the playground at night seeing as it was a rule of their pack not to play with human children during the day.  _

_ There are five on the big toy, two on the monkey bars, one upside down, another swinging back and forth between three bars, one using the fake steering wheel attach to the side, one sliding on the slide while another plays with the wood chips, scooping up a pile in his hands, setting it on the black steps and continually piling more and more on top. Laughs, screams, smiles of happiness beaming throughout the park, lighting up the playground itself.  _

_ He locates the parents sitting on nearby benches, watching their children. There are three parents, two mothers and a father, they’ll be easiest to take out before he gets to the children.  _

_ Yeonjun saves them for last, hesitating at first then making the decision to take out the rest of their pack before going for them. He watches them play and reminds himself that these kids will turn into vile creatures, he’s saving them from their fate, this is for the good of humanity, the good of the werewolf children’s souls so that they don’t become tainted with darkness.  _

_ Licking his lips, Yeonjun runs off towards their pack. It’s easy really, getting rid of the pack, though this pack is considerably larger than the ones he usually deals with. He’s pretty young and still newer to taking on missions unlike the veterans that work at the agency, they take on packs with multiple camps because they can’t all fit in a certain place.  _

_ Most of the pack is sleeping save for the parents of the children and the children on the playground, they’re all back at the park, so he’ll deal with them when it comes down to it.  _

_ Pulling out homemade bombs, Yeonjun sneaks around and spaces out the five bombs he brought evenly so it’ll kill the whole pack at once. Getting a safe distance away, Yeonjun ducks behind a bush and gets out the button that’ll set off the bombs.  _

They’re terrible creatures, Yeonjun, you need to do this, for the good of humanity _ , and with that pep talk, Yeonjun clicks the buttons, watching and listening as the bombs explode, setting the whole pack on fire, no tent left untouched. The materials for their tents were especially flammable, so it’s not too long before each and every tent is consumed by fire.  _ _   
  
_

_ He heads back to the parents and children, hides under the cover of the night and under the cover of the brush, catching sight of the parents gathering their children while looking at the trees in horror because of the explosion sounds and large source of light that beams from the forest, directly over where their camp is stationed.  _

_ Unholstering his hand gun, Yeonjun aims and fires, taking out each parent with a shot to the head, the children screaming and crying at the sight. One doesn’t react, he’s frozen in his spot, but then his head turns and his eyes land directly on Yeonjun like he knows Yeonjun did this, like he knows Yeonjun’s there, though he’s not supposed to.  _

_ He stares at the water filled eyes of the child, his chest heaving up and down with long yet silent breaths, heart racing, palms slick with sweat, hair in his eyes, lungs constricting.  _

What are you doing? Kill it, _ a voice, not his own, but the head countess’s, appears in his head and he snaps out of his daze, grabbing a grenade, pulling out the pin, and tossing it out into the playground where it lands, sits for a could seconds, then explodes, Yeonjun having to turn around and cover his ears. He squeezes his eyes shut, feels the blood spatter all over his back, all over the back of his neck, his arms, his hair.  _

_ Knots tangle his stomach and intestines and the ravaging butterflies are back again, fluttering in the back of his throat, but Yeonjun pretends like it’s not there because it’s his mind trying to trick him, because he cannot trust his body or feelings to cooperate, has to force himself to continue through with his missions and report back honestly to the agency.  _

_ With dazed eyes, Yeonjun heads back to where he set up camp for himself, sitting on a rock and staring into the deep, dark night. _

+++

Throughout the day, Yeonjun can’t not think about the children from his memory. Every little thing he does, he can’t help but see the image of the little kid that looked him dead in the eyes before, even after Yeonjun threw the grenade into the playground. 

Lush green trees, bushes, grass, the rushing river, the wildlife, the werewolves surrounding him, the fur they’re using to make tents and whatever else. Anything and everything makes him remember the little kid, makes him see the singular tear that fell before the grenade went off in front of them. 

For Taehyung’s class today, those with mates were asked to bring them along so they could help with catching animals for their fur. Once they get all the furs and stretch them, they’re going to cook the food for themselves and the orphaned children that will be coming by later thanks to Taehyung’s arrangements. 

Orphans, just what Yeonjun needed on this day where he dreamed of himself killing children, which isn’t actually a dream but a memory. He’s nervous, quiet, and Soobin seems to notice even though Yeonjun said he was fine when he asked him this morning. 

Taehyung talks avidly while all the mates go off and catch prey for them, most of the group have mates, but for those who don’t, he selected a special few to bring back more than he originally ordered all the mates to do.

He’s ranting about how cute kids are, how he wishes he could have children of his own but later reveals that he can’t get pregnant, so he’s stuck with either making Jimin have one with him and Jungkook or adopting one of the orphans, which is hard for him because picking one out of all the orphans there would make him feel terrible. 

Needless to say, Yeonjun’s mood doesn’t improve, even when Soobin comes back, even when they pull off the pelts, empty the organs out, clean them off, stretch them and lay them out to dry. If anything, it gets worse as they’re cooking the squirrels for their dinner and for the orphans. 

Taehyun and Beomgyu join Soobin and Yeonjun seeing as Taehyung wanted larger groups than just two, so he made them all pair up in fours, mated or not. It doesn’t help when Beomgyu sends him subtle glares every now and then as he takes care of his pregnant mate.

Most people are done cooking their animals and out of the corner of Yeonjun’s eye, he can see Taehyung herding the little group of orphaned children over towards the lone omegas and the mated pairs. 

He assigns one to two children per group and Yeonjun watches as a little boy and a little girl make their way over to their group, sitting in the open spaces of the campfire. Yeonjun feels surrounded, the little boy between Soobin and Beomgyu while the little girl sits between Taehyun and Yeonjun. 

“Hi guys,” Taehyun smiles. “How are you?”    
  
“I’m good! How are you?” The little girl answers with a bright, beaming smile that contests the sun. 

The little boy stays quiet, his head lowered shyly. 

“Good, thank you for asking, Aecha. It’s been a bit since we’ve last seen each other.” 

“You’re too busy for me with your doctor and baby stuff,” she crosses her arm and pouts. 

“Yeah, you’re right, I’m sorry, but now I don’t have to go to work for a bit, so I promise you, me and Beomgyu will visit again this week. Right, Beommie?” Taehyun nudges Beomgyu. 

Beomgyu smiles brightly at the little girl. “How could I not see my favorite girly? But don’t tell the others, okay? I can’t have them getting mad at me.” 

Aecha’s smile blooms across her face. “Okay!”

Beomgyu reaches over and ruffles her hair affectionately. Yeonjun tunes out of their conversation in favor of watching Soobin interact with the little boy. He appears to be quiet, but he isn’t surprised Soobin is able to pull a couple words or phrases out of him. 

“Hey, Bongju, how are you? Your sister isn’t giving you too much of a hassle, is she?” Soobin asks, smiling softly, sweetly at the shy boy. 

Bongju shakes his head but doesn’t say anything.

“Glad you can handle it. Can I introduce you to someone?” Bongju nods his head. Soobin gestures to Yeonjun, his eyes shining as he introduces him, “this is Yeonjun, he’s my mate.” 

Bongju’s eyes widen and he lifts his head to look at Soobin. “You finally found him? But I thought you were going to leave the pack to search for him?” There’s a slight lisp in his speech, his voice small and tiny. 

Soobin shakes his head and smiles. “Nope, he came to me.”    
  
“So you’re not leaving?” 

“I’m staying right here, BongBong.” 

A small smile breaks out on his lips and then a little giggle comes out at the nickname. “I’m glad, Soobinnie.” 

“Me too, bud.”    
  


Yeonjun won’t admit, he absolutely  _ refuses _ to admit how much his heart melted watching the interaction between Soobin and the little kid. But it also makes him feel even worse than before because these children are exactly like the ones he killed,  _ innocent _ . 

He stares a little closer at Bongju, he can almost see the kid from his dreams, same face, same eyes, same naturally pouty lips. 

It’s too much, too overwhelming, makes his stomach clench, the butterflies batting harshingly, crawling up his esophagus and suspending in his throat, waiting. His breathing accelerates along with his pulse, eyes starting to tear up, lungs constricting uncomfortably, lump stuck in his throat, something blocking his airways, Yeonjun is not okay.

Yeonjun stands abruptly and everyone in his group stops talking to look at him. He gulps and breathes out a quick, “excuse me,” before walking into the forest, away from the children, away from the werewolves. 

He finds a tree and leans against it heavily, releasing shaky breaths before he adjusts his position so that his back presses into the tree and he’s sliding down, sitting at the base of the plant. Yeonjun bites his lip, closes his eyes, but even that wasn’t enough to stop the watery waste from overwhelming his eyelids and escaping. 

He whimpers outloud and cries, tears of guilt, tears of culpability, tears of fault trail down his face as he remembers all the lives he took, the lives of children, teens, adults. Yeonjun killed so many of them and it’d be so easy to just blame the agency, but it was Yeonjun, even if it wasn’t all his fault, he still has fault in it.

“Yeonjun?” Soobin’s voice comes from behind him and Yeonjun tries to silence himself so he doesn’t find him like this.

Sniffling and hiccuping must give him away because Soobin comes around to his tree and looks at him. “Yeonjunnie?”

Yeonjun cries more, harder, if he tells Soobin, Soobin’s going to be horrified with him, he’s going to leave Yeonjun like everyone else and he’s going to be alone. He shakes his head and moves his hands to grip his hair, attempting to ground himself. Harsh sobs and low noises, like grunts and small screams escape from Yeonjun, he can’t take it, he’s going crazy with guilt, there’s no way to get away from it, no way to forgive himself, nothing he can do to reconcile with god or whatever deity is up there. 

Collapsing to get closer, Soobin reaches for Yeonjun, to which the crying boy flinches. “Yeonjun, what’s wrong, mate? Please tell me.” 

“No, no, you’re gonna hate me, I hate me, I’m terrible,” Yeonjun sobs hysterically, clutching his yellow strands tighter to the point of pain. 

“Stop doing that, Yeonjun, you’re going to hurt yourself.” Soobin goes for Yeonjun’s hands, tries to ease them out of his hair, but Yeonjun refuses to let go, if anything he holds on tighter than before. 

“Don’t touch me,” Yeonjun says and cries more, “I might hurt you…” he whimpers pathetically, squeezing his eyes shut as hard as he can. His body shakes and jerks with the force of his sobs, the force of his pain, of his guilt. 

“Yeonjun, please let me help you, please.” Soobin begs, his face majorly concerned and saddened by the state of his mate.

Yeonjun sniffles violently, trying to breath through the snot clogging his nostrils, his breath shortening. “I-I-I...killed them.” He forces out the stuttered words. 

“Killed who?” 

But Yeonjun can’t answer, he’s too trapped in his head, surrounded by guilt, by consequences, he doesn’t want to do it anymore, he doesn’t think he can do it anymore. 

Suddenly a delicious smell of vanilla bean with a hint of honey dew pervades Yeonjun and he feels himself visibly relaxing, breathing deeply, inhaling and exhaling pants of it in and out of his mouth, eyes growing hazy. The scent envelopes his heart in a tight embrace, coercing it to slow down to it’s regular pace, uses gentleness to stop the ropes of guilt from constricting his lungs, easing his racing thoughts from running circles around his mind. 

Yeonjun’s grip on his hair slackens and Soobin is there to pull them from his hair. “Are you relaxed now?” 

It takes a second for the question to register, but eventually, Yeonjun nods, “What...what did you do?” 

“I sent out my alpha pheromones, it can help mates calm each other down or do other things, like you did earlier with me, with your omega pheromones. I just...needed you to calm down before you hurt yourself.” Soobin says worriedly, scooting closer so that he’s sitting in front of Yeonjun. “You wanna tell me what that was about?” 

“I’m afraid of saying it, I’m afraid of how you’re gonna react.” Yeonjun admits that much and he’s honestly surprised he’s even sharing that. 

Soobin moves even closer. “Can I hold you, mate?”

“Yes.” 

Soobin pulls Yeonjun into his lap, one hand pressing the side of Yeonjun’s face into his chest while the other holds his waist firmly, hugging him close, cradling him with warmth and love. “Tell me when you want to.” 

Yeonjun nuzzles in close. Fear chokes him up, but he works past it, the sooner he gets it out, the sooner Soobin can reject him and he can start getting over it. No need to wait, to indulge himself with Soobin’s cuddles, soothing holds, his light touches, the way he sometimes looks at Yeonjun like he’s his entire world, the fond, angelic smiles he sends Yeonjun’s way, how he always-    
  


“The children only wanted to play on the playground.” Yeonjun starts speaking, already thinking about how he’s going to miss everything Soobin does for him or does to him. “It was dark, they had to play at night, they weren’t allowed to play while humans were there. After I took out their pack, I shot their parents in the head, all three of them. Then a little one looked at me, stared at me, despite being covered by the dark and the trees and the brush, they found me.” He gulps, bringing an arm up and wrapping it up and around his shoulder, pulling himself closer, shoving himself more into Soobin’s firm chest. 

“You killed them?” Soobin guesses, rubbing his hand up and down Yeonjun’s side, feeling him shiver. 

“Yeah-” Yeonjun’s voice breaks and he inhales sharply, the tears coming back. “And-and meeting those orphans just…” his face scrunches up, his mouth hanging open a bit, “the children I killed were innocent. And the feeling, the same feeling from my first mission, it came back and I ignored it. I ignored it, Soobin, I ignored it.” His voice breaks even more as he begins sobbing, not as bad as before, but still wracking with guilt and sadness.

“Shh, mate, it’s okay. I’m here for you, you’re safe with me, you can cry, Yeonjun, it’s okay.” Soobin consoles him, uses the hand that’s holding his hand to brush through his hair, letting him cry. “I love you, Yeonjun, endlessly.” 

And that makes Yeonjun cry harder because he thought Soobin would definitely leave him then, but he didn’t, he stayed, he stayed with Yeonjun, for Yeonjun, despite how messed up his past is, despite what he was taught, despite what he did to countless amounts of werewolves, he  _ stayed _ . 

“I’m not going anywhere, mate.” 

Yeonjun is falling for Soobin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo, wanted to get this chapter out today so here it is! hope you liked it! also appreciate the comments, I feel so loved and your support helps me so much  
> i want to make this book longer so i'm trying to come up with ideas and let me tell you, i've got some ideas ;)  
> anyway thank you for reading and supporting and y'all are seriously so great  
> (btw this is the longest chapter i've written in here, whoo! go meeee)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	12. Chapter 12

Yeonjun does calm down eventually, being held by Soobin really helped him. 

“I appreciate you telling me this, Yeonjun, I know it was hard, but I’m glad you told me.” Soobin squeezes him tight against his body. “And I want you to know that it isn’t your fault.” 

“But part of it was my fault.”

“I don’t blame you, Yeonjun. It was all those evil people at the agency, they did this to you. They tried to turn you into a soulless soldier, but you’re not. You have a soul and there are probably other people who are at the agency and feel the same exact way as you do.” 

“But it was still me, Soobin, I-I pulled the trigger, I killed those innocent werewolves, and I...I don’t know if I could face those children, the adults were easier, but the children-” His voice breaks and he cuts himself off as fresh tears race down his cheeks. 

“Even if you do blame yourself, I don’t, I don’t blame you at all. I know it’s hard, it must be so hard, Yeonjunnie,” Soobin stares down at him, running his fingers through Yeonjun’s hair, “but one day, I know you’ll be able to do it and it’s okay if that one day isn’t today. You can make it through this, Yeonjun, you’re strong, I believe in you.”

“You shouldn’t,” it’s an automatic response for Yeonjun, but that doesn’t make it not true, “I’m...I’m a monster.”

Yeonjun glances up and sees the hurt on Soobin’s face. “Please don’t say that, mate, I believe in you, you deserve to have someone, Yeonjun, you’ve never had anyone besides your parents. You deserve someone too.”

“I don’t feel like I do.” Yeonjun replies honestly.

“You may not feel like it now, but you’ll see, Yeonjun. You’ll see everything I see in you, you’ll see every reason why I love you, why I want you, why I believe in you.” 

Soobin kisses the top of his head and Yeonjun revels in it, doesn’t tense up, doesn’t push away, doesn’t get awkward, just revels in the love Soobin showers him in because even if he doesn’t deserve it, he has it and he wants to bask in it as much as he can before it’s gone.

“Thank you…” Yeonjun sniffles into Soobin’s chest. 

Soobin chuckles lightly, “What for, mate? I didn’t do anything.” 

Yeonjun scoffs, “You didn't do anything? You’re helping me so much between the nightmares and becoming a part of this pack, the least I can do is thank you.” 

“I may be here to support you, but that’s all you, Yeonjun. You’re literally helping yourself by accepting my support and love for you.” Soobin smiles widely as he looks down at Yeonjun. “It’s all you, Yeonjun.” 

Yeonjun scoffs again, but this time he turns his head away from Soobin so he can’t see the rising heat tainting his cheeks. “I don’t believe you, but okay.” 

Soobin hums lightly and caresses the side of Yeonjun’s face while rubbing his fingers into his scalp. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t believe me, Yeonjun.” 

The sun sets further and it only grows darker, but they stay there for a little longer, Yeonjun sticking to Soobin and Soobin helping him to calm down. 

“Do you want to go back to the group or go back to the tent?” 

“The tent.” Yeonjun doesn’t hesitate to answer, he’s not sure he could make it through spending time with those little orphans. 

“Okay, I’ll sneak around and take you back to the tent then I’ll go and get our things from the group gathering.” Soobin says, moving Yeonjun off of his lap to stand up so he could pick him up once again. 

Once he has Yeonjun situated in his arms, he walks around the site where Taehyung and the rest of his class as well as the orphans are gathered. He could see them through the trees, catches sight of Beomgyu and Taehyun interacting with the two little kids, the fire still blazing despite the fact that they’re eating the cooked squirrels. 

He looked away, the children are too much at the moment, he can barely handle it. Yeonjun can barely handle his own thoughts and he’s not excited for when they get to the tent and Soobin has to go back to collect their items. 

“Are you okay, Yeonjun?” 

“No, not really…”

“Will you be okay if I leave you for a couple minutes to get our stuff?” 

Yeonjun pouts unconsciously and instead of lying, he tells the truth. “I don’t think so, my-my thoughts…” 

“Say no more.” Soobin says and smiles down at him. “I’ll stay with you and I think one of our friends will hold onto our stuff or drop it off tonight.”

Nuzzling into Soobin’s chest, Yeonjun holds on tightly and rests his eyes while Soobin walks them back to their tent so they could probably talk or just go to sleep.

They make it in no time and Soobin lays Yeonjun down, staring at him intensely. Yeonjun opens his eyes at the feeling of being watched and stares back at Soobin, diving deep into those brown pools of pure love. They stay like that, gazing into each other's eyes, reading the chapters of each other’s books, reading the love, the happiness, the pain, the sorrow, everything they can reach.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are, Yeonjun?” 

His lungs constrict and Yeonjun’s left breathless, heart breaking his rib cage with how hard it’s beating, chest tingling with warmth, goosebumps pulling upward while a shiver makes its way down his spine. Soobin looks so serious, like he means every single word that just came out of his mouth, sweetness dripping from his tongue as he speaks, dripping onto Yeonjun and spreading an intense warmth, hot enough to fight off the cold, but not burn. 

Slowly, with unsure movements, Soobin leans down and gets closer to Yeonjun, never once glancing away, bringing a hand up and placing it on Yeonjun’s face. With light fingertips, he traces the gentle features of Yeonjun’s cheeks, his eyes, his lips, the nail scraping lightly, skin skimming skin, watching intently. 

“I’d give anything to kiss you.” Soobin whispers, tongue slick with honey. 

Yeonjun feels his fingertips go over his lips once more, tracing, leaving tingles in its wake, Yeonjun’s mouth ajar in awe, breath fanning over the digits, gulping nervously, lips almost trembling from the sheer touch. 

Eventually the fingers slide down to his neck, stealing the breath he didn’t know he was holding, heating up the apples of his cheeks, the skin prickling as Soobin draws an imaginary line to his scent gland, eyes darkened with a new emotion Yeonjun has never seen in them. But it’s when his fingers start massaging there that he finds out it’s a sensitive spot for him, his body jerks lightly, his head lolling, eyes rolling up, needy moans rushing out of his mouth, all the blood in his body flooding from the north to the south, the tingles intensifying. Pleasure paints itself around Yeonjun’s lower abdomen and he feels a slight tugging. 

Soobin observes him heavily, face blank, mouth slightly ajar, but his aura is dominating, his scent overwhelming Yeonjun, washing over him in waves. The ghost of Soobin’s lips from their first kiss work their way down to his chin, across his jaw, down his neck, Yeonjun arches his back, erect nipples brushing the material of his t-shirt. 

  
“Does it feel good, baby?” 

The new nickname forces a breathy moan from Yeonjun’s lips. 

“So sensitive, I wonder what would happen if I…” Soobin brings up his other hand and rubs at his nipple harshly, not letting up.

Yeonjun pants, arching his back higher as his legs start to squirm, feeling a tight spot in his belly tugging yet coiling desperately at Soobin’s touches. He bites his lip, holding in the request that’s on the tip of his tongue. 

“Don’t hold back, Yeonjun, let me hear you.” Soobin twists his fingers around so he can pinch the raised nub. 

“Ah-!” Yeonjun obeys Soobin’s request, keening, moaning, groaning, all sorts of noises, even noises Yeonjun didn’t know he could make.

“Soo-Soobinnie!” Yeonjun gasps out his name followed by a moan. 

Soobin pauses his ministrations for a moment as if suddenly broken out of what he was doing to Yeonjun without his explicit permission. “Yeonjun, I-I-”

“No, no, no, don’t stop!” Yeonjun whines out at the loss of pleasurable sensation, sounding like a petulant child not getting what he wanted. 

“But I didn’t ask you-I’m so sorry, Yeonjun, I didn’t mean to take advantage of you-” 

Yeonjun whines even louder and glares at Soobin with a pout, making him look like a non-threatening puppy. “Why-why stop? It-it felt good, Soobin.” 

“I just, I didn’t ask if you were okay with it, I don’t want to force you into anything.” 

“If you were forcing me into anything, I would’ve said no or pushed you off or broken your arm,” Yeonjun whines, feeling the edge of the pleasure simmering away. 

“Do you want me to continue?” Soobin asks cautiously. 

Yeonjun squirms and nods. “Yes, please.” 

Soobin purses his lips in thought. “Can I do something else?” 

“Sure.” Yeonjun says impatiently. “Get to it.” 

A smirk tugs at Soobin’s lips as he licks them. Then he leans forward, hovering his mouth over the sensitive gland, puffing a hot breath over it to tease before attaching his mouth to the spot. It starts out as light kisses, eliciting a deep moan from Yeonjun, but then it becomes hot, wet, open mouthed kisses, which has Yeonjun closing his eyes and opening his mouth, only for Soobin to add in his tongue and teeth, licking, sucking, biting,  _ tasting _ Yeonjun. 

One hand sneaks back down to his nipple, massaging and pinching at it to get Yeonjun arching. He scrapes his teeth against the gland, Yeonjun even feels when he elongates his canines, the pointy tips scraping lightly enough to tease. 

The pleasure comes back full force and he squirms beneath Soobin, pushing himself up into Soobin’s embrace. “Please, Soobin, please.” Yeonjun begs, though he’s not certain what it is he’s begging him for. The coil of passionate heat fills the pit of his stomach, tugging incessantly, the need to release adding a heavy pressure to his lower hips. 

Yeonjun doesn’t expect it, he doesn’t expect Soobin to do this and maybe that’s why it brings him over the edge. Soobin cups the hard tent in his pants, gropes it harshly, pressing down with a firm hand, Yeonjun’s orgasm cresting like a wave about to crash on sandy shores.

Wetness spreads over the pants Yeonjun’s been wearing for quite a bit now. He bucks into Soobin’s large hand as he works through his orgasm, feeling the high consume his mind, body, and soul, a silent scream leaving his opened mouth. His legs spasm, close around Soobin’s hand, his body jerking. 

“That’s it, mate,” Soobin whispers, peppering kisses along his neck while Yeonjun starts coming down from his climax. “Such a good boy for your alpha.”

Yeonjun whimpers because he feels  _ amazing _ , body on pins and needles, tingling. His mind is fuzzy and he can barely register what Soobin is saying or doing, but when he does, warmth settles over his chest after listening to the praise. 

“I’m gonna take your pants off, mate, so I can clean you, okay?” Yeonjun’s nodding without even processing what he said. Soobin unbuttons the pants and pushes them down his legs until they’re completely off. He goes for the underwear but pauses. “Yeonjun, what are these?” 

Yeonjun breaks out of his haze quicker than he wished he did, but one glance down at his legs shows only a small portion of the scars that are littered across his body. He gasps and looks at Soobin in slight panic, rushing to gather his legs and hide them behind his arms, biting his lip in shame. 

“Were those...scars?” Soobin asks carefully, his brows furrowed. 

Looking down, Yeonjun doesn’t reply, his face heating up for allowing Soobin to see his scars. Revisiting those memories is painful enough, he’s not sure if he’s ready to share them with Soobin. 

Old cuts, scratches, burn marks scarred over on his skin; he deserves them, he really does, at first for breaking a simple, stupid rule, but now because of all the werewolves he killed. He’s always deserved whatever he got. 

“I’m guessing you don’t want to talk about it?” Soobin says into the silence. Yeonjun shakes his head, “Let me clean you up and then I’ll put your pants back on. Will you lay back for me again, Yeonjunnie?” 

Yeonjun agrees easily, lays back in the previous position he was in. Soobin hasn’t lied to him yet and he sticks to his words now, that’s why it’s so easy for Yeonjun to choose. Yeonjun blushes when Soobin removes his underwear, revealing his flaccid cock and cum-stained skin. But he doesn’t do anything, grabs a spare animal hide and wipes away the sticky mess of white with delicate hands, then slides Yeonjun’s pants back on as if it was totally normal. 

“There we go, mate.” Soobin pats his hip with a soft smile then proceeds to place Yeonjun’s underwear and the soiled animal pelt to the side. “Shall we sleep?” 

Yeonjun agrees and turns over, listening to Soobin shuffle into his own spot and get situated for the night. He glances over his shoulder when no warmth presses against his back and when no arms reach around and wrap around his waist. Looking away, Yeonjun sighs, biting his lip as he contemplates whether or not he should voice his question. 

He decides to do it. “Soobin?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Will you cuddle me?” 

It’s quiet. “Yeah sure.” 

Then it comes, Soobin’s arms coming around his waist, pulling him back into a sturdy chest and transferring warmth into his originally cold back. 

Closing his eyes, Yeonjun drifts to sleep. 

+++

_ Yeonjun can’t walk, can’t move, his whole body is sore.  _

_ The knives, chafing ropes, sizzling wires, hot cigarettes, everything Yeonjun could’ve thought of that can hurt someone was used on him last night. His arms, legs, torso, chest, they all hurt because of what they put him through the night before.  _

_ The image is so vivid in his imagination, the image of them cutting him, bruising him, burning him, electrifying him, forcing him to bleed any way possible, replaying over and over again in his mind.  _

_ He lays in the doctor's office, lays still on the bed, eyes puffy from the night before because it went on for too long, there was too much going on for him not to cry. The agency probably expects him to get up despite his injuries, but he’s sure that he can’t move, that he can’t get up without falling down. They really did a number on Yeonjun this time. The inability to move at will has him feeling pathetic and shameful for earning that punishment. Yeonjun knows better, Yeonjun  _ is _ better, and yet he could barely show it.  _

_ “Yeonjun,” the doctor speaks up, drawing his attention away from the white ceiling over to him, “glad to see that you’re awake.”  _

_ Yeonjun hums and nods.  _

_ “I was quite worried there for a moment, they told me that you blacked out and wouldn’t wake up no matter what they did.” The doctor agonized as if pained by the thought of the things they did even after Yeonjun had passed out from the pain.  _

_ “I feel like…” Yeonjun’s voice is raw and sore from the screaming, “...like I’ve been hit by a truck.”  _

_ The doctor chuckles lightly like Yeonjun said something funny. “Well, that is normal, you’re going to feel that way for probably a couple days or so. You can’t move, can you?” _

_ Yeonjun grunts while he shakes his head. “No, I can’t. It hurts too much.”  _

_ The doctor nods. “That’s what I thought. I’ll give you pain medication and three days total to recover, unfortunately, that’s all I can give you. Once I give you the pain medicine, I’ll send for my nurses to escort you to your room.”  _

_ Yeonjun waits, doesn’t reply, just waits for the pain medication and the nurses to take him back to his room where he can sleep it off for the next three days. He doesn’t want to be bed ridden for so long, but he’s silently thankful to the doctor for the time to heal because if not for him, he probably would’ve been forced to get back to training or put on a new mission instead of recovering.  _

_ A little cup with little white pills is handed to Yeonjun as well as a paper cup of water. He throws both back easily, pills then water, and sighs at the cool water soothing itself down his throat. His arms protest and send waves of pain through themselves to plead with him to stop moving in general, but he ignores it as best he can, only wincing sometimes. The doctor comes back over and takes the items from him, disposing them in the trash can.  _

_ The nurses come inside and detach Yeonjun’s bed from the wall, rolling him through the hallway and down to where his pod is located. He’s glad that everyone in his portion of the hallway is in class currently because it would truly be embarrassing to come back this way, especially in front of all of them.  _

_ Two guards are waiting at the door and they heft up Yeonjun while he lays on the sheet, taking him inside and resting him on the bed, not as gracefully as he’d wish, however. He’s left alone to his own devices once he’s situated on the bed in his pod. He sighs and closes his eyes to rest.  _

_ Sleep doesn’t come to him, but he’s able to doze off a couple times before clacking heels coming down the hallway alert him of someone’s presence. He looks up when he sees the door of his pod open up, watches as the head countess walks in, shutting the door behind her.  _

_ “Yeonjun.” She says, standing in front of him with crossed arms. “What are you doing?”  _

_ Yeonjun is confused by the question, but answers anyway. “I’m...recovering from my punishment. I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t know what you mean.”  _

_ “All these theatrics are tiring, Yeonjun, stop being over dramatic and stand up.”  _

_ “What?” Now he seriously has no idea what she’s talking about.  _

_ “I said stand up.” Her voice is firm and stern, red painted lips set in a line.  _

_ “B-but the doctor said-”  _

_ “Does it look like I care what the doctor said? You got punishment for questioning, Yeonjun, do I have to send you there again for disobeying or will you stand up like I told you to?”  _

_ In fear of what she’ll do, Yeonjun gulps and nods. “Yes, ma’am.”  _

_ He takes a deep breath and manages to get his arms under him, barely able to push up his upper body, arms shaking violently and pain striking, sapping Yeonjun of all his energy. He slides his legs to the side off the bed to hang limply, the action itself causing Yeonjun to wince and grit his teeth in pain, more pain seeping through him as he shifts his weight on different parts of himself. Sliding off the bed onto his legs, he stands up for approximately a second before they give out on him and he’s on the floor, arms crushed by his body, the side of his face kissing the ground. He yells in pain and pants through it. His body aches, extreme soreness and sensitivity cutting through him, different parts throbbing excessively, singular spots smarting with a vengeance.  _

_ “You’re better than this, Yeonjun. I expected more. This is pathetic.” She spits at him, glaring. The head countess picks up her foot and digs her heel into his shoulder mercilessly, digs in deep enough for Yeonjun to cry out and squirm slightly. “The doctor gave you three days, I give you two. Be back in class after those two days, or it’s worse punishment than you can imagine.” With that threat, she removes her heel and walks out of the door, clicking her heel right in front of Yeonjun’s face, causing him to flinch back.  _

_ He lays there pitifully, curls into himself, waiting for the pain medicine to kick in before he moves again, trembling in fear, eyes glazing over as he spaces out into nothingness.  _

+++

“Yeonjun?” Soobin’s voice breaks through the fog, his worried, tired face propped on Yeonjun’s arm as he looks down at Yeonjun’s doleful features. 

Tears run down Yeonjun’s face, he doesn’t mean to cry, but he can’t help it, though he does withhold his face from scrunching up in that ugly way it does when he cries. “Those weren’t all the scars I have. There are barely any on my legs, my arms, they’re mostly on my back. So many on my back, even when I did everything I could to avoid punishment, I could never really avoid punishment.”

Soobin turns his sleepy head so that his cheek presses into Yeonjun’s arm. “I’m so sorry, mate.”

“Not your fault,” Yeonjun laughs bitterly, “it’s just...something I have to live with. Plus I deserved it, whether it was breaking rules or killing werewolves, I deserved it.”

“Don’t say that, Yeonjun, you know as well as I do, you never deserved any of that.” Soobin brings up his hand and swipes away the tears. 

Yeonjun closes his eyes and feels Soobin’s fingers brushing against his face. “I had to get these for a reason.” 

Soobin caresses his thumb over the apple of his cheek. “That reason was because of bad people. You don’t deserve it, you never did, neither did the other people in your agency. Did you ever receive any praise or reward for good behavior or for completing a mission successfully?” 

“The reward was receiving no punishment.” 

“I can’t believe they did that to you, and even though you weren’t human, the others in your agency were. They did that to their own kind, that’s even worse than anything the werewolves could’ve done, it’s contradictory to their whole message.” 

Now that Soobin brought it up, he’s right, it is contradictory to their message. Forcing human beings into learning strict lessons in which they have no free will to choose whether they want to or not, to be tortured or killed for not following them, it is worse than what they told them about the werewolves. They said the werewolves killed innocent humans, but Yeonjun hasn’t seen it, has never actually seen a werewolf attack an innocent person except for when Yeonjun was a child and that was only one encounter. 

Yeonjun feels worse, his stomach churning, more guilt than before welling up inside of him. “I didn’t see that, I was doing exactly what they said werewolves did, so were the others.” Yeonjun feels even more naive and gullible, his whole life was a lie, a lie to get Yeonjun to hurt innocent werewolves. He can’t believe it. His chest aches and his head spins just trying to process all this overloading information. 

“It’s not your fault, mate. They took you at a vulnerable age, they forced you to accept their lessons, whether you wanted to or not, and there was nothing you could do.” Soobin assures him, petting his hair back, cupping his face gently. “Do you wanna try going back to sleep? You look so tired, Yeonjunnie.” 

Soobin’s voice is cute, slurred and thick because of sleep, his lips swollen and pursed as well. Yeonjun finds it endearing. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to go back to sleep. Sometimes when I have nightmares, I don’t get back to sleep.” 

“I noticed,” Soobin replies, “You snore quietly when you sleep, every time. You haven’t asked me to help, so I never tried to intervene.” 

Yeonjun’s shocked but there’s a warmth in his heart at Soobin’s revelation. “Oh…” 

“Can I intervene now?” 

“Okay.” 

Soobin turns his head and kisses Yeonjun’s shirt covered arm. “Lay on your belly please.”

Yeonjun listens and twists over, catching sight of the moonlight shining through the entrance flaps, stars twinkling just as brightly. But he turns his gaze so he’s staring into Soobin’s eyes that swirl just as alluringly as the stars and moon. 

A hand starts rubbing a soothing pattern into his back, it's simple circles, but they’re calming, almost hypnotizing, especially with Soobin’s large, warm palm drawing them into his back. His eyes begin slipping close without Yeonjun noticing and the last thing Yeonjun can see is Soobin’s soft smile and sleepy, adoring eyes. 

Yeonjun can get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy y'all, here's another chapter, hope it was enjoyable hehe  
> this is more slow burn than I've ever written before (i never write slow burn bc i like kisses and cuddles and fluff and smut lol) so I thought you would enjoy a gift from moi to toi  
> we're starting to get to the good parts :D I'm excited to write then, hope you're ready to read them  
> love the comments, appreciate the kudos, your support keeps me going, y'all are great, we stan yeonbin <3
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	13. Chapter 13

_ “Yeonjunnie!” His mother calls out with an enthusiastic smile on her beautiful face as she searches for her son.  _

_ Yeonjun hides underneath his bed, a small hand over his mouth to muffle his giggles at the prospect of being found by his mother. He feels giddy and excited, but he must contain it in order to stop her from finding him.  _

_ “I know you’re around here, Junnie!” She taunts and teases as Yeonjun listens to her padding footsteps coming down the hallway and turning into his room.  _

_ He watches her feet while keeping the hand clamped over his mouth harshly, he can’t afford having her find him because he made noise. He takes slow breaths through his nose, closes his eyes to help his pounding heart calm down.  _

_ “Hmm...if I were Yeonjunnie, where would I be?” His mother asks aloud. Yeonjun can hear the silly thinking face she puts on like she usually does in front of Yeonjun. “Would he be...in the closet?” The closet door slides open, crashing into the wall while she looks inside. “Nope.” _

_ Then there’s a loud crash that comes from downstairs and instead of his mother continuing to look for Yeonjun, she exits the room, making quick work to go downstairs, Yeonjun listening to her rushing pace on the stairs.  _

_ Yeonjun feels fear wash over him as he stays under the bed, watching from the open space in front of him. His eyes are wide and he takes his hand from his mouth so he can take a couple deep breaths in hope of calming down his fight or flight reaction that’s building anxiety in his mind.  _

_ After a couple minutes, he hears locks clicking and windows shutting abruptly. He slips out from underneath his bed and crawls over to the railing at the top of the stairs, looking down to figure out what was happening.  _

_ Yeonjun’s eyebrows furrow when he sees his parents rushing around the living room and back and forth from the kitchen, closing doors, windows, locking them all. Once they finish, they meet in the middle and embrace each other tightly.  _

_ His father looks disheveled, clothes messed up, hair wild, face slightly panicked, and his mother seems to be trying her best to calm him down. Yeonjun’s not sure what happened, but something happened, and he knows it too. He eavesdrops on their conversation.  _

_ “Are you okay, Doyun? They didn’t hurt you, did they?” His mother asks with concern lacing her voice, pulling back to scan over his father's face.  _

_ “Why would someone try to hurt Daddy?” Yeonjun questions to himself quietly.  _

_ “No, I’m okay, Chaewonnie. Nobody came here right?”  _

_ “No, it was just me and Yeonjun all day.”  _

_ “Where is he?”  _

_ “He’s hiding, we were playing hide and seek. Should I call him down?”  _

_ “Yeah, just let me fix my hair so he doesn’t suspect anything.” His father runs a hand through his hair and adjusts his clothing accordingly.  _

_ “Yeonjunnie!” His mother calls and looks up at the staircase, easily spotting Yeonjun right there, on his knees, holding the railing with his tiny hands, watching them. “Did you hear any of that?”  _

_ Yeonjun doesn’t want to get in trouble with his parents so he shakes his head. “No.” He replies and gets up, heading down the stairs and joining into his parents hug.  _

_ He forgets all about it the next day.  _

+++

“Soobin?” Yeonjun asks after they wake up the next morning. 

“Yes, mate?” 

“Why didn’t you kiss me yesterday when we...you know?” Heated cheeks present themselves to Soobin. 

“Because I wanted to save our first kiss, make it really special.” Soobin smirks at him. 

Yeonjun’s brows tilt inwards. “But you’ve already kissed me?” 

“Well, yeah, but I’m not counting that as our first kiss. That was rushed and you didn’t want to be kissed then, so I’m waiting for the perfect time, the time when we’ll both want it.” Soobin leans over and kisses his cheek. “That’ll have to satisfy you for now.” 

Yeonjun doesn’t mind it, doesn’t mind Soobin’s lips pressed on his bare cheek, it feels nice. “Okay.” He accepts simply. 

“Anyway,” Soobin starts, smiling widely, “today is the day, mate!” 

“What day?” 

“The day we get to build our tent, with all the animal skins we have, I’m sure it’ll be enough.” Soobin sounds really excited. 

Yeonjun smiles a bit. “Yeah, that is really cool.” 

“Man, I can’t wait until we get to make it! That’ll be our first official start as newly found mates.” 

Yeonjun nods. “I can’t believe that I have a mate…” 

“Believe it, Yeonjunnie, I’m right here.” Soobin sits in front of him, reaching out and taking his hand gently. “I’m always gonna be here for you, so you better get used to it,” 

Yet again, heat stains on his cheeks, even rises to his ears this time. “Okay, I’ll try.” Something pops into Yeonjun’s mind and at first, there’s an initial fear at the mere thought of telling Soobin, but then the memory of whispered comforts, of reassuring hands on his body is enough to encourage Yeonjun to actually say something about it. “Soobin? Can I show you something?”

“Show me what, Yeonjun?” Soobin nods, giving Yeonjun curiously fond eyes to help quell the anxieties that form at the back of his mind. “You can show me anything you want.” Soobin whispers with a happy smile. 

Pulling off his shirt, Yeonjun turns around and shows Soobin his back, reveals all the scars, all the pain Yeonjun’s been through. Scarred over lashes from whips, burns, cuts, scratches, everything anyone has ever thought of, almost all of it has been done to Yeonjun. They do it on the less visible places because sometimes they encounter other humans while on their way to missions or stopping by to get things for said missions. 

His heart is racing because there is still a chance for Soobin to react badly and leave Yeonjun, which Yeonjun doesn’t feel like letting Soobin go so soon. He jumps when Soobin starts touching his back, his fingers skimming over what used to be smooth skin, shivering lightly. 

“They did this to you?” Yeonjun feels him whisper, fingers running over one of the scars from the whip. 

“Yes.” Yeonjun responds truthfully. “I also have a few others on my chest, but they’re faded and you can’t see them that well.” There’s a little niggling in the back of his mind, reminding him that if the agency ever found out that he told Soobin, he’d be tortured beyond his imagination, or shot dead. 

“I’m gonna kill them.” 

Yeonjun turns around so fast, he’s surprised he didn’t get whiplash, his eyes wide, shirt dropped, mouth agape in incredulity. “What!?” 

Soobin’s soft, mochi-like cheeks are painted with fire truck red, Yeonjun can see it too, can see the burning flame, fueled by the sight of Yeonjun’s scars, licking at his irises and flicking wildly within him. “I’m gonna kill them for doing this to my mate, to my omega.” 

“No, no, Soobin, you can’t-” Yeonjun tries to tell him as his alpha register sneaks into his tone and his face gets dark, grows an animalistic, sanguine expression. 

“I can and I will, omega.” Soobin glares. 

Yeonjun shakes his head and crawls forward, taking Soobin’s stiff hands into his own. “No, you can’t, Soobin, not by yourself and not even with your pack. They’re too strong.”    
  


“Once everyone sees what they did to you-” 

“No! Soobin, I said no, you can’t go after them! Please! I-I…” Yeonjun looks down before continuing with a woeful expression, “I don’t want to see you get hurt.” 

The red that started pushing into his eyes begins to fade out before they can completely fill with the loud, angry color. “You don’t want to see me hurt?” Soobin repeats, brows furrowed. 

“No, I don’t, Soobin, I-I want you right here, with me.” Yeonjun replies honestly, the most honesty Yeonjun has shown to Soobin before. 

Soobin curls his fingers where Yeonjun holds his palms, squeezing gently. “You...care about me like that?” 

Yeonjun lowers his head, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “Y-yeah.” 

Soobin smiles softly. “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed, mate.” 

“Shut up.” Yeonjun glares at Soobin from underneath his eyelashes. “You’re-you’re all I have right now, Soobin.” 

“You’ll always have me, Yeonjun, always.” Soobin leans forward and plants a sweet peck on his cheek, nuzzling and bumping his nose with Yeonjun’s lightly.

Yeonjun indulges in the sweet moment, there’s no way he can’t, Soobin is so caring and sweet and Yeonjun wouldn’t be able to handle it if he had to see all this go away because of him. Yeonjun’s heart pounds, a warm, fuzzy feeling consuming his chest, butterflies fluttering in his stomach, this feeling is too good to be true, but Yeonjun needs it because it’s been so long since he had it, so long since anyone has loved him like Soobin does. 

“We should go pick some berries for breakfast then head over to Taehyung’s class.” Soobin murmurs to Yeonjun, still prodding his nose against his cheek. He scrunches it up like a bunny and Yeonjun can’t help the little giggle that flies out of his mouth at seeing the endearing movement. 

“Okay,” Yeonjun agrees easily. 

They pull away from each other and Yeonjun slips on his shirt before they head out of the tent and begin walking to the berry bushes that aren’t too far from them. It’s a short walk, but Yeonjun enjoys the trek through nature, the small, wispy breeze that passes by, the sound of trembling leaves against branches and bark, the warm sun shining down on his back, the dew covered grass that’s slightly wet and almost like a fluffy rug underneath their feet. 

The berry bushes are there like always, the fruit hanging and tugging down the branch it’s attached to. Soobin starts picking them off and eating them, as expected, while Yeonjun collects a handful of them so he could eat after he’s collected enough. 

“Mate?” 

“Hmm…?”

“Well, I was just thinking, are those scars the reason you didn’t want to wear the pack clothing?” Soobin shoves a berry in his mouth and moves over to Yeonjun so he can see his reaction to the question. 

Yeonjun purses his lips and twists his mouth up to the side, sighing through of his nose before nodding. “Yeah. I don’t want people asking questions about how I got it, revisiting those memories isn't pleasant. It was hard enough for me to show you and you’re pretty much the only one I trust at the moment. Plus, I still have the rules in mind, from the agency.”

“They made a rule so you wouldn’t show others your scars?” 

“Kinda, yeah. We’re not supposed to share stuff about the agency, which includes what they do or, in my case, did to us.” Yeonjun explains and collects more berries in his hand. 

“Oh.” Soobin frowns, “I hate these people more and more every time you talk about them.” 

“Then let's talk about something else.” Yeonjun replies, starting to eat the handful of berries he collected. “What if I…” Yeonjun pauses, “well, you told me a story from your childhood, I can tell you something from mine, at least what I remember before I ended up in the agency.” 

Soobin’s frown turns upside down. “You’d be willing to share that with me?”

“Yeah, um, I’ve, uh, well,” Yeonjun’s stumbling over his words, but he eventually gets out what he’s been meaning to say, “lately, I’ve been having dreams about my parents, I can’t remember them except for the very first one I had. I keep forgetting the dreams right after I wake up.” 

“I’d like to hear something from your childhood anyway, if you really don’t mind.” 

“When I was a little kid, we went to the park a lot, I remember always asking my mom and dad to watch me play just because they would praise me for doing the monkey bars or climbing up the slide or something simple like that.” A small smile tugs at the corner of Yeonjun’s lips. “My mom would always push me on the swing after I finished playing on the big toy.” 

Soobin smiles at the shared information. “Tell me about them. What were your parents like?” 

Yeonjun pictures his mother and his father. “My mom...she was gorgeous, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen to this day. She was sweet, and her smile could instantly make anyone feel better, brighten up anyone’s day. She was nice and caring and the best mother I could’ve asked for.” Tears form as her smile appears in his mind, but he smiles too as if she’s there with him, smiling to make him smile. 

“Then my dad, he was serious most of the time, a hard worker, but he was just as caring, a good father, a really good role model. He was sensitive and he was open about being that way, taught me that I could be a man while being open with my emotions. He was really down to earth.” Yeonjun wipes at the tears that fell, the smile on his face turning wry and the taste in his mouth turning bittersweet.

Soobin moves closer and wraps his arms around Yeonjun’s waist, pulling him into a hug. “They sound great. I wish I could’ve met them, but I definitely see all the qualities they had in you, mate.” 

“No, my parents aren’t murderers.” Yeonjun shakes his head while nuzzling his head into the crook of Soobin’s neck. 

“How many times do I have to tell you, baby? It’s not your fault.” 

A shiver zings down his spine at the nickname. “I was the one behind the trigger.” 

“Manipulated, tortured to do what they told you to do. You didn’t know better, Yeonjunnie, it’s not your fault. I don’t blame you, I never will, no matter what you say or what you tell me.” Soobin promises, kissing the side of his head and using his hand to brush some hair behind his ear. 

“Soobin…” Yeonjun wonders, “I-I don’t understand, I don’t understand why you love me, why you’re so nice to me?” 

Soobin chuckles beside his ear, hugging him even closer. “Because it was meant to be. I loved you before I met you, but now...seeing you, seeing who you used to be and now seeing that you’re willing to change for me, I love you more than I could’ve ever imagined loving someone.”

Yeonjun nuzzles deeper into Soobin’s neck, pulling him as close as humanly, or, well, inhumanly possible. “Thank you, Soobin.” He means it from the deep dark depths of his heart and soul. 

“Anything for you, mate, anything for you.” 

+++

Taehyung’s class started soon after Soobin and Yeonjun visited the part of the forest with the berries. 

“Guys, now, I know some mated pairs still need to make their tents, so if that’s you, please step aside so I can get a count.” Taehyung instructs, and they all listen. 

Yeonjun and Soobin step out and two more couples do too. Soobin had explained to him that some mated pairs are able to make their tents right when they get together, while some lack in that area and use the class to help them get situated. 

Most newly found pairs can, but there are always the special few, like Yeonjun and Soobin. Some come from different packs, some are mated pairs that have the same second gender, like omega and omega or alpha and alpha, though those pairs are rare in themselves, and other circumstances that may occur that hinder the start of the mating process, which is what they call literally building a home together . 

Although, Yeonjun’s situation is definitely one they haven’t been met with before. Soobin said Yeonjun was special, that’s why it’s so different, Yeonjun begs to differ. 

“Now, if the rest of you don’t mind, I’d like to ask for you to donate some of the animal skins we worked on the other day to these couples. You don’t have to, but me as well as the mates over here would be very grateful to you for doing it.” Taehyung gives his infamously boxy smile. “And I’m sure they would also like some help assembling these tents for their future together. But we can’t do it here, we must find open spots in the village for each of them to place their tents. So onward, class!” 

Everyone moves with Taehyung, following him over to the village where there are some open spaces for the mated pairs to choose from. Yeonjun let Soobin choose where they make the tent because Soobin was the alpha and Yeonjun would’ve picked a random spot anyway, not knowing if there was some special way to pick one spot over another. 

Taehyun and Beomgyu came over to help them build it, giving their animal skins to Soobin and Yeonjun along with some from a couple of the single omegas. 

Soobin and Beomgyu went off to find a big enough stick to put in the center and smaller sticks so they could attach the animal skins around it to make their tent, leaving the two omegas with nothing to do but wait. 

Taehyun’s face kept contorting like he was wincing in pain and it worried Yeonjun a bit. “Are you okay, Taehyun?” 

“I-I’m fine.” Taehyun dismisses, taking a deep breath and pressing a hand underneath his swollen belly. “Just been getting cramps all morning. At first I could handle them, but they’re only getting worse.” 

“Are you sure they’re cramps, Taehyun? What if they’re contractions?” Yeonjun carefully rests a hand on Taehyun’s back where he’s hunched over. 

“No, I-” he makes a pained face, “I had this similar thing when I first got pregnant. It’s nothing, I’ll be fine.” 

Yeonjun’s brows furrow at his explanation. “But that was the beginning, you’re nearing the end of your pregnancy, Taehyun. Maybe I should take you to the doctor?” 

Taehyun huffs. “Look, Yeonjun, I appreciate your worry, but it’s not needed, I’ll be fine.” He snaps then winces once more. “I-I just need to sit down for a bit is all.” 

Yeonjun helps Taehyun sit down, easing him to the ground so he won’t hurt himself trying to lean back. He crouches down beside him and puts a hand on his shoulder while watching Taehyun breathe through the pain, but then Taehyun’s eyes widen and he looks down. Yeonjun follows his gaze, a clear liquid trickling over the grass.

“Is that…?” Yeonjun starts but doesn’t finish, looking at Taehyun with wide eyes. 

“Holy shit.” Taehyun whispers under his breath before another wave of pain hits him and he almost screams. “Ah! Oh my-oh! My-my mate, Yeonjun, I need my mate.” 

“Taehyung!” Yeonjun calls over the older omega, who catches Yeonjun’s alarmed features. 

“What’s going on? Is everything alright?” 

“I-I think Taehyun’s water just broke.” Yeonjun explains. “I need to get his mate.” 

“Go get Beomgyu as fast as you can, I’ll take him to the doctor.” Taehyung agrees and with that, Yeonjun takes off into the woods. 

He looks left and right but decides to proceed forward, calling for them. “Soobin! Beomgyu!” 

“Soobin! Beomgyu!” There’s no answer to his first or second call, and Yeonjun runs around, taking random lefts and rights through the forest. They couldn’t have gone that far, they haven’t been away for that long. “Soobin! Beomgyu!” 

Yeonjun panics internally because Taehyun needs Beomgyu, but he can’t seem to find Taehyun’s mate nor his own. Something could’ve happened, but Yeonjun doesn’t want to think of that possibility. 

“Beomgyu! Soobin!” Yeonjun stops by a tree to catch his breath, having run so much in such a small amount of time while simultaneously calling for the alpha and beta. He tries to come up with a plan on finding them, but nothing else comes to mind except for continuing the way he’s been looking for them. 

_ You know what Soobin smells like, take deep breaths and focus on it. From there you can catch his scent and follow it, the stronger it gets, the closer you are _ , the omega within him says. Yeonjun follows the directions offered to him.

He inhales deeply through his nose and then exhales, inhales one more time and grasps the weak scent of vanilla bean, Soobin was around here. He takes little sniffs, much like a dog would, and follows the smell through trees, underneath branches, around bushes, the scent only growing stronger as he finally gets closer and closer to Soobin and Beomgyu. A pine like scent lingers in the air along with Soobin’s and he assumes that it’s Beomgyu’s scent, seeing as that scent also grows stronger the further he moves. 

Inhaling deeply, he turns left and looks around eagerly for the two wolves until his eyes finally spot them discussing while holding a long branch. 

“Beomgyu!” Yeonjun calls out and runs over to them. 

Beomgyu is surprised, to say the least, and makes a face when Yeonjun comes near him instead of going over to his mate. “What are you-” 

“It’s Taehyun.” Yeonjun interrupts and gets straight to the point. “He was having really bad pains and when I helped him sit down, his water broke. He’s going into labor.”

“What? And I’m not there?” Beomgyu says, more to himself than Yeonjun. 

“Come on then!” Yeonjun shouts at the two, turning and running back to the camp with Beomgyu and Soobin hot on his heels. 

They made it back to the camp and spotted Taehyung helping Taehyun to the doctor’s tent, Beomgyu speeding up and passing Soobin and Yeonjun to get to his mate. Both the omega and alpha stop and watch as Beomgyu hefts Taehyun into his arms and gets him to the tent much faster. 

“Yeonjun,” Soobin rests a hand on his mate’s shoulder. “What exactly happened?” 

Yeonjun shifts his attention to Soobin. “Well, Taehyun kept wincing in pain and I asked what was wrong, but he told me it was just cramps. I asked him if it could be contractions, but he said he went through this before and he just needed to sit down. So I helped him sit down, but then he had this sort of...alarmed look when he looked down and I saw it. His water broke all over the grass. The pain got worse for him and he told me to go get his mate. That’s when I came to find you two, after I told Taehyung.” 

Soobin smiles at Yeonjun, still panting a bit from the running. “You’re a really good friend to him, Yeonjun.” 

“I-I was just doing what any other wolf would do.” Yeonjun dismisses his complement. 

“Yeah, but you got worried, asked if he was okay, helped him sit down, you did all that without anyone prompting you to do it. You could’ve ignored him or let someone else handle him, but you didn’t, you helped him out and tried to make sure he was okay.” Soobin lightly rubs his shoulder. “You really are a good person, Yeonjun.” 

The praise warms Yeonjun to the core, his heart feeling fuzzy while his chest tingles. “Um, uh, thanks, Soobin…I just did what was right.” 

“Exactly, that’s why I’m so proud of you, Yeonjun.” Soobin leans forward and plants a kiss on his cheek. 

Yeonjun’s cheeks heat up, pink staining the skin at Soobin’s words and actions. “H-how about we go find those sticks we need to make our tent?” 

Soobin agrees and they set off to find the materials to finish making their tent. 

+++

With hard work and a lot of instruction from Taehyung because Yeonjun was getting lost trying to follow Soobin’s directions, they’re finally able to assemble their tent. It’s sturdy and slightly bigger than the other tent they were staying in. 

Soobin is absolutely beaming with happiness now that they’ve made their tent like newly paired mates. Yeonjun can’t help but stare at him, at the smile etching itself into his lips, at the way his eyes scrunch up, at the way there’s little crinkles in the corners of his eyes. 

Once he is able to drag his eyes away from Soobin’s face, he looks at the tent and feels a little sprout of happiness. They _ made _ this, they did it together, as mates, and it actually makes Yeonjun feel genuine happiness for once in his life, real endorphins settling over his brain, taking the next train of cells through his bloodstream to deliver the happy virus all over his body. 

It makes him want to laugh, to smile widely like Soobin is doing while interacting with Taehyung. He feels it bubbling up into his throat, starting out as breathless chuckles, to giggles, to a wide smile stretching the corners of his mouth and an actual laugh falling past his lips while gazing at the tent. 

Eyes are on him, surprised eyes, but Yeonjun doesn’t care, he just turns to Soobin and shows him the smile. 

“What’s so funny?” Taehyung asks, amused and slightly scared. 

  
“Nothing.” Yeonjun answers quickly, breathless and laughing a bit more as he looks back at the tent. “It’s just...we did this, we made our own tent.” 

Soobin moves from Taehyung’s side to stand next to Yeonjun, to look at their tent from Yeonjun’s point of view. He grins at it. “Yes we did, mate. We made our own tent.” 

Yeonjun is slightly confused as to why he’s so happy about this simple thing. It’s only a tent, only stretched animal furs and sticks holding themselves together with flexible vines and dirt putting pressure on all sides on the end of each stick. 

But there’s just something about it, something bigger than himself, something that makes him feel a part of something, like he’s been initiated into a secret club that only the lucky few get to be in. 

He can talk to people, interact with them, share with them, trust them, accept them for them because he’s certain they’ll do the same. No disconnect, no punishments for breaking strict, unfair rules, only acceptance and forgiveness and love, everything he’s ever missed, ever hoped for, he’s ever wanted, he gets to have it. 

  
  
  


Unfortunately for Yeonjun, the happiness doesn’t last as long as he’d like. 

A scream, a cry, and four choking wolves running out into the middle of the camp disturbs the moment. They’re convulsing, writhing, their mouths blackened, hands reaching for help, mouths too full of foam to call for it. Women and children start crying, panicking, rushing to get the doctors, male wolves, probably alphas, backing away slightly though carefully surrounding them. Even the head alpha comes out to see the disastrous commotion outside, fear seizing the emotion in his eyes at the scene.

Yeonjun’s heart rate spikes uncontrollably and his breathing becomes uneven, Soobin wrapping his arms around Yeonjun and pulling him closer protectively, attempting to steer his head away from the horrific sight in front of them. 

But he can’t, Yeonjun watches as they slowly stop moving, one by one, shutting their eyes, their fingers no longer clawing at the dirt and grass beneath them, passing out, or, what Yeonjun really hopes isn’t the case, dying. 

Before the last one blacks out, his body twitching, they connect eyes, pleading, desperate eyes calling for any type of aid, staring into Yeonjun’s own, penetrating his soul. 

Fear swallows Yeonjun whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanted to say that I wouldn't worry too much about the pregnant male omega anatomy, just know either way, the baby comes out lol imagine it how you like  
> y'all are lowkey guessing the book, not really but like sort of tho, lol i'm not totally sure, I barely know what I have in store so yeah  
> it's not the best chapter I've written, sorry if it seems rushed, but here it is!  
> thank you for everything, I sincerely appreciate the support   
> hope y'all are having a good day, night, afternoon, a good everything :)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	14. Chapter 14

Soobin pushes Yeonjun’s head into his chest, so he can protect him from the sight, but it’s too late, Yeonjun already saw, watched those men suffering and it only reminds him, reminds him of the screams, of the aching cries, of the agonizing wails from werewolves, big or small, it didn’t matter to Yeonjun. 

Tears fill his eyes at the horrifying memories and he burrows his head into Soobin’s chest, trying his best to block out the scared cries of women and children surrounding them. Shouts come next, probably nurses clearing the way for the doctors to come in. 

“Everyone, to your tents!” The head alpha yells and Yeonjun can hear people rushing to follow directions. 

Taehyung’s voice comes next. “Class dismissed, please listen to the head alpha, go! Go now!” More stampeding feet run, left, right, side to side, running anywhere they can to get to their tents.

“Come on, mate, let’s go,” Soobin herds Yeonjun towards their newly made tent.

Yeonjun follows and rushes into the tent, Soobin right behind him and closing the flaps right after they get in. He clings to Soobin and Soobin holds him close, petting his hair and shushing him as Yeonjun starts crying. 

“Shh...it’s okay, baby, it’s okay. I got you, just calm down for me.” Soobin whispers to him, staring at the entrance flaps with wide eyes. 

Yeonjun can’t stop crying, feels the tears overwhelm and wash down his face as if there’s nothing better to do. He trembles as all those missions come back to him, the families he killed, the packs he killed, they all sounded exactly like it was out there. 

_They came for me_ , Yeonjun thinks to himself, but all the logistics of the scene outside, the way it happened, what was on the wolves, how they got back to the camp points anywhere but the agency. 

The agency always kills at night, only special missions are during the day, but Yeonjun isn’t sure what qualifies a group ‘special’ enough to be hunted during the day. Plus, the agency kills all at once, most of the time, they kill when they’re all together and while they’re asleep because it’s easier that way. Even if the agency were the ones who were trying to kill the four wolves, those wolves wouldn’t have been able to get back to the camp, it would be too much of a warning to the pack. 

Having been a part of the agency for so long, Yeonjun knows by heart the weapons and chemicals they use to kill, but he’s never seen anything that leaves black residue all over the mouth of werewolves. The agency also doesn’t develop new chemicals, they use what they get from the same supplier, which they’ve trusted for a long, long time. In that long, long time, they’ve never changed a single product, nor made a product that left a residue because it could easily be traced to the one who used it. 

It doesn’t make sense, none of it makes sense, this is not the way the agency murders. This pack is relatively small, so it’d be easy enough to wipe out in one night, probably only an hour or two to set up. 

Maybe they changed tactics to scare the pack into giving up Yeonjun? But they have a rule against it. _If captured, you will not be rescued_ . That one stood out to Yeonjun, almost like they were saying, _if you get captured by werewolves, you deserve to die in the hands of the werewolves,_ or any hands for that matter _._ Yeonjun even remembers a time when he hunted down a pack that had captured one of their own as a prisoner, but he didn’t save her, he killed her too, because it was against the rules and Yeonjun wasn’t going to get punished for disobedience. 

There’s only one thing that would truly confirm that it wasn’t the agency that did this. 

“Soobin?” Yeonjun asks shakily, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. 

“Yes, mate?” 

“I-I...I don’t think it was the agency that did this.” 

Soobin’s eyebrows furrows as he looks down at Yeonjun in his arms. “What are you talking about, Yeonjun?” 

“It’s just...this isn’t the way the agency handles their targets, this isn’t at all how they do it. I’ve never seen any chemicals leave black stuff around the mouth area. I would know, Soobin, I was one of the best in the agency.” Yeonjun explains to him, looking up with worry in his eyes. 

“But...that doesn’t make sense, there aren’t any other packs around unless we missed them but we also would’ve known if we trespassed on anyone’s territory.” Soobin replies. “Are you sure they didn’t change something while you’ve been gone?”   
  


“The agency gets weapons and chemicals from one supplier and that supplier hasn’t changed what they gave them for a long time. Even if they did develop a new chemical, they would never have it leave a residue because it would be too easily traceable, especially with werewolves.” 

“Then who…?”

“Well, I-I don’t think it was them, but there’s something that would confirm that it wasn’t.” 

“What?” 

Yeonjun ducks his head, gulping nervously as he murmurs out his answer. “If those wolves aren’t dead.”

“Why would that-” 

“Even if the agency makes them suffer, they always kill them, no matter what. No one survives, it’s always lethal weapons and chemicals, they can’t risk survivors warning neighboring groups and then those groups warning the other ones.” 

“Yeonjun,” Soobin’s voice is solemn, “if what you’re saying is true, that must mean it’s someone else and we don’t know who, which would mean it’s unsafe for everyone, including you.”

Yeonjun feels his heart drop because Soobin is right, if it isn’t the agency, or a neighboring pack, then it could be anybody, anyone around them in the camp or anyone from outside of it. He moves closer to Soobin, arms tightly wound around his figure. “Soobin, what are we going to do?”

“I don’t know, Yeonjunnie,” Soobin brushes his fingers through Yeonjun’s hair to offer comfort while he leaks out his pheromones slowly but surely, accidentally lulling Yeonjun into a half conscious state. 

“No, Yeonjun,” Soobin says softly, nudging his head that’s laying on his shoulder, “you can’t sleep, you won’t be able to sleep tonight if you do.”

Yeonjun whines lightly. “There’s nothing else to do, Soobin.” 

“We could...talk.” Soobin offers, shrugging the shoulder Yeonjun’s head is on.

Yeonjun grabs his arm and holds it down. “Stop it. I’m using this.” He grumbles and burrows his face into Soobin’s shoulder. 

“Well, you can’t use it, I won’t let you.” Soobin says, tugging his arm from Yeonjun’s grip thus moving his shoulder up and down. 

“Stop…” Yeonjun whines petulantly and pouts. “Fine, I won’t use you.” He removes himself from Soobin and lays down on top of the animal furs covering the floor. 

Soobin flops down beside his mate. “What? You don’t want to talk with me?” He pouts teasingly at Yeonjun’s sleepy face. 

“No, it’s just...what are we gonna talk about?” Yeonjun opens his eyes and finds his heart racing at the mere sight of Soobin’s pouty face. 

“Hmm...do you have any more memories from when you were with your parents?”

“I don’t have a lot. I can only remember general stuff, reading, playing, singing, dancing, all those things.” 

“What about that one dream?”

“What dream?” 

“You said that you dream about your parents, but you’ve only managed to remember one out of them all.” 

“Oh, yeah, that dream.” Yeonjun recalls the first and only dream he remembers with his parents in it. “Well, in that dream, I was dancing with my mom...I can’t remember the song, it was something older, but my mother loved that song. I could see my father sitting in the living room, on his laptop, working like always.” 

“Baby Yeonjun dancing? Now that sounds absolutely adorable!” Soobin smiles widely at the thought of younger Yeonjun. 

Yeonjun smiles back and then continues with the story. “Um, then there was a knock on the door and my mom told me to keep working on my dance moves. I listened as she let in a friend of hers and-” Yeonjun pauses, his lips tugging downwards as he finishes the dream in his head. 

Soobin’s eyebrows move down, furrowing because Yeonjun stopped talking. “What is it, mate?” 

“The friend was the head countess of the agency. It was also the day my parents died because of that wolf.”

“I-I’m so, so sorry, Yeonjun, I didn’t mean to make you-” 

“No, it’s okay. You didn’t know...that day, it was a really good day before everything went down with that wolf.” Yeonjun sighs and turns over so he’s laying on his back. 

Soobin reaches out and grabs his hand, squeezing gently. “I’m sorry things happened the way they did.” 

Yeonjun chuckles. “It’s not your fault, Soobinnie, plus, if it didn’t happen that way, I wouldn’t have met you.”

“You suffered through so much, Yeonjun, even if it meant not meeting me, at least you wouldn’t have to go through all of that.” 

“Well, you know what, Soobin?” Yeonjun shuffles his body closer to Soobin. “What’s done is done. Life sucked for me, but I’m still here. The agency built off my hatred for that wolf and up until I met you, I had only felt hatred and anger and sadness for so many years. But now, I’m here with you, and you made me feel better and you made _me_ better.” 

Soobin releases his hand and reaches over, wrapping an arm around Yeonjun’s waist and pulling him even closer. “If I helped you, even a little bit, then I’m happy.” Soobin smiles at him with his soft cheeks, dimples popping out, teeth revealed, Yeonjun feels the butterflies fluttering wildly. 

“I like when you’re happy.” Yeonjun whispers to him, smiling back with a small smile of his own. 

He reaches out and pokes at Soobin’s cheek just to make sure it’s as soft as it looks, a strange urge, but he couldn’t help it. He gasps at the way his finger sinks into the milky white skin, twisting his hand around so he can lightly pinch the mochi soft cheek. He brings up his other hand and starts playing with his cheeks, at one point even migrating to his ears to tug at playfully. Soobin is just so _plush_. 

Soobin allows Yeonjun to pull, tug, poke, pinch and do whatever else he wants. It has Yeonjun smiling and giggling, his hands all over Soobin’s face without Yeonjun worrying that he’s being too intimate or crossing any lines. He’s more cautious about initiating stuff like this, but right now, it’s out of mind because it’s almost addicting. 

Yeonjun smiles without reserve, unyielding. “You’re so squishy, Soobinnie.” He catches Soobin’s fond eyes and finally, stops what he’s doing, slowly removing his hands sheepishly and shyly looking away. “S-sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry, baby,” Soobin uses his other hand and caresses Yeonjun’s cheek, “your...your smile is gorgeous.” 

The statement only makes Yeonjun smile more, his cheeks staining with heat and his head bowed in embarrassment. “Thank you…” 

Soobin slides his fingers underneath Yeonjun’s chin and tilts it up so that they make eye contact. “I’m only telling you the truth.” 

Yeonjun notices something about Soobin at that very moment. He’ll leave his mouth open in this attractive way until Yeonjun meets his eyes, then he’ll smile widely and it makes Yeonjun’s heart do flips, his mind twirling, his intestines curling and knotting themselves, he can barely contain the emotion. Nerves simmer in his lower abdomen along with anticipation, biting his bottom lip and staring at Soobin intensely.

Yeonjun stutters. “W-what if we t-take a nap?”

Soobin nods and tightens the arm around Yeonjun’s waist. “Okay, we can nap.” 

Yeonjun leans into Soobin and breathes in his soothing scent, the smell wrapping around him like a warm blanket and lulling him deep into dreamland. 

+++

_“Take me with you!” She calls in a whisper, her eyes pleading and desperate._

_The werewolves’ prisoner was a girl from Yeonjun’s program, another student like him. She managed to slip out while Yeonjun was killing the pack, having stayed up and spotted him when he was setting up the explosives._

_“You know I can’t do that.” Yeonjun says to her. “You know what I have to do.”_

_The girl stands there in slight fear before her eyes narrow into a glare. Suddenly, she’s rushing him with a loud battle cry, using her tied hands to try and punch Yeonjun in the face._

_Yeonjun dodges it, shifting to the left so that she misses, then grabs her ropes, forcing her hands down, bringing up his knee and delivering a harsh blow to her diaphragm, winding her._

_“I don’t have a choice!” He says to her as if he’s attempting to make her understand, though he’s not sure why he cares or why his stomach knots at the thought of killing her._

_They don’t know each other personally, they weren’t allowed to associate and make friends at the agency, but he’s grown up with her, lived in the same place, ate the same thing, experienced the same pain, they have a lot in common. Yeonjun’s never spoken with her, laughed with her, cried with her, smiled with her, but it still feels wrong to kill her because the rules say she deserves it._

_“They won’t know,” She croaks out from where she’s bent over, recovering. “They won’t know if you killed me or not, they won’t. You don’t want to die and neither do I, just let me go and we can pretend this never happened.”_

_Yeonjun stares at her pitiful form, black hair hanging down, covering her face, her breathing audible. She turns her head and black eyes pierce his own, small lips open to pant for air, button nose flaring as she catches her breath._

_“They will know, you and I both know that.” Yeonjun replies, glaring back at her and frowning._

_“They’ll be so disappointed.” She mutters and she starts glaring back at him. “The agency will be so disappointed to see that their best student is dead.” Swinging her hands up and around, she smacks Yeonjun in the face, his head whipping to the side, cheek smarting, then she kicks him while he’s getting over the initial shock of the hit._

_Stumbling back, he falls and holds his stomach, but she doesn’t give, pulling her leg up and almost slamming it into Yeonjun’s chest if he had not rolled to the left at the right time, accidentally knocking into her leg that was balancing her whole body, making her lose balance and crash to the ground._

_Yeonjun inhales as deeply as possible to help him breathe properly before getting to his feet, noticing that the girl has done the same thing. They stare each other down, circling, analyzing before she strikes. It’s premature, she got impatient, Yeonjun can tell by the desperate glint in her eyes, the desperation to stay alive._

_He jumps to the side as she flings herself at him, the girl landing and looking at Yeonjun. Yeonjun reaches over, grabbing her hanging hair and yanking, causing her to yell in pain. He uses her hair just like a trainer would reins on a horse, bringing her to her knees in front of him while he pulls out the knife in the sheath on the side of his pants._

_“Please don’t!” She screams, the words ripping from her throat, eyes filling with tears. Her hands fly to the hand in her hair and grips tightly, trying to claw at him blindly._

_Yeonjun lifts his chin, stares down at her, a numbing feeling washing over his chest and making all the feelings go away. Gulping, he brings the knife down, eyes dead, all emotion completely wiped away. “I have no choice.”_

_Slicing her throat, a sheet of blood pours out immediately, the girl’s eyes widening, mouth open in horror, gurgling, body convulsing as Yeonjun let’s go of her hair. She falls to the ground. The moment her body hits the grass, she’s dead._

_Looking at the knife in his hand, staring at the blood dripping from it, static plays in his mind and he habitually shoves the knife back in the sheath and heads back to where he set up camp._

_From there, he only sees black._

+++

Yeonjun snaps his eyes open, breathing heavily, and looks around their tent. It’s much later in the night, he can tell by how high the moon is in the sky and the quietness of the camp. 

They slept longer than intended, Soobin still sleeping with puffy cheeks, and now Yeonjun has to figure out how to get back to sleep. He sighs and brushes a hand through his own hair, looking around and listening for anything. 

Yeonjun takes a deep breath and gets up, removing Soobin’s gangly limbs from his own body, maneuvering over him and exiting their tent. He inhales the fresh air once he’s outside and starts to walk through the village. 

He won’t admit it to himself, but he’s paranoid, paranoid because it could be the agency, paranoid because they could be setting up the bombs right this moment, paranoid because Soobin is in danger if it is them behind the wolves that are in the infirmary. 

The werewolf camp is dead silent, the whistling wind, rushing of water, and noisiness of the wildlife the only sounds to break it. It’s beautiful, Yeonjun likes the way the water shimmers under the moonlight, his feet cushioned under the fresh, green grass. 

He lifts his nose into the air and sniffs, specifically checking to see if he can catch the scent of a human. He’s been told that humans have a distinct smell, Soobin couldn’t exactly describe it, but he did say that once he smells a human, he’ll understand what they mean. He still hasn’t smelled a human, he thinks, so he assumes there aren’t any around. 

Not smelling anything out of the ordinary quells his anxiety and paranoia for the time being, helps him to calm down enough to enjoy the refreshing wind sweeping through his hair and cooling him down. It’s a chilly tonight, but Yeonjun doesn’t mind it. 

The worries are still in the back of his mind, but they stay where they are and allow him peace of mind for the time being. Just then his stomach rumbles loudly and he decides to go over to the berry bushes to eat since he didn’t get to eat earlier.

He goes to the spot where he and Soobin always go to pick berries, using the moonlight to help him pick good ones. Plucking one by one, he eats them and puts some in his palm while keeping his eyes peeled and his ears perked just in case anyone tries to sneak up on him. 

As he eats, Yeonjun checks out his surroundings, staring at the trees, the rustling leaves, the bright moon, and the clouds traveling through the sky. The night is more alive than he ever thought it was, before he was always too preoccupied with his missions that even when he did take in nature, he never truly got to admire its liveliness. 

“Yeonjun?” Comes a voice from behind him and Yeonjun turns, his eyes landing on Soobin, who appears to have just woken up. 

“Hi.” Yeonjun says quietly and holds a hand with berries out towards Soobin. “Want some?”

Soobin walks forward with a small sigh of relief. “I woke up and you were gone, I was afraid they had taken you when I picked up on your scent. Thank you.” He takes a couple berries and eats them. 

“Sorry,” Yeonjun replies, “I had another dream and um, well, I got kinda paranoid, so I checked to make sure no hunters were around.” 

Soobin nods. “I’m just glad you’re okay, Yeonjun. And I understand, I’m kinda paranoid too after what happened.” 

Yeonjun hums and eats another berry. “I also didn’t think I’d be able to get back to sleep, so I came out here. At first, I was just looking around, but then I got hungry, so I came to the bushes.”

“What did you dream about?” 

Yeonjun hesitates, but eventually tells Soobin. “There was this mission I completed, the pack had a prisoner from my agency, the girl was in my program. She escaped while I was taking down the pack, not sure how, but she did. I had to kill her too or else I would’ve been punished.

“I had no choice, they would’ve known if I didn’t kill her and tried to lie, they would’ve hurt me even worse or killed me for it. If you’re captured, you deserve to die, because you got captured in the first place which is basically what the rules state. Anyway, it was either me or her, and I wasn’t going to let it be me.” 

Soobin embraces Yeonjun and places a kiss on his temple. “I’m sorry, Yeonjunnie, reliving these memories must be hard for you.” 

“Yeah, but it’s okay. I-I have you now, so it’s not as bad.” He leans into Soobin’s arms, closing his eyes as he relaxes. 

“How about we finish these berries and then I’ll help you get back to sleep? I think the head alpha will call a meeting tomorrow morning so we should rest up.” Soobin says, squeezing Yeonjun tight. 

“Okay.” Yeonjun agrees, nodding and pulling out of Soobin’s arms so they can finish the small handful of berries Yeonjun collected. 

Once they finish, Soobin guides Yeonjun back to their tent with a hand on his lower back, opening the flaps to the tent for him when they get there. They lay down together, Yeonjun instructed to lay down on his stomach and Soobin laying next to him on his side. 

Soobin’s hand is gentle against his back and he rubs circles into it. His eyelids start falling and, in an instant, he’s back to sleep, almost like Soobin’s touch is magical. 

+++

Soobin was right, the head alpha did call a meeting for the attack, everyone except for Taehyun and his mate as well as the doctors attending to him and the attack victims from yesterday.

Everyone around them is murmuring and Yeonjun can feel eyes on his back. He doesn’t blame them, he’s the newbie here, he’s the one who tried to kill Huening Kai and the rest of their pack when he first got here. Doesn’t make it any less unnerving, but he understands. 

Soobin is right there, like always, because he must see all the stares Yeonjun is receiving, can hear the whispers. They’re not talking about Yeonjun in particular, but a few comments here and there were clearly directed at Yeonjun. 

“Don’t pay them any mind, baby,” Soobin bends down to mutter in his ear, guiding him to two empty spots in the meeting field, “They’re just...scared.”   
  


“I know,” Yeonjun replies, glancing up at Soobin’s handsome face, “I mean, I’ve given them reasons to be scared of me, the attack that happened last night was scary, they were not waiting to add two and two together.” 

Soobin huffs. “You’ve been proving yourself, if you really were trying to do something to this pack, wouldn’t you wait until they’ve fully trusted you?” 

They sit down in the spots, side by side, but Yeonjun scooches closer, uses Soobin as some sort of security blanket that blocks the stares and the suspicious words. He looks at Soobin, “Logic is thrown out when fear arrives.” 

“It’ll be okay, Yeonjun, I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you, I know it’s not you.” Soobin reassures. 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Soobin.” Is Yeonjun’s only reply before the alpha starts speaking.

“Thank you for gathering so quickly, everyone. I am here to address the matter of the attack on our pack last night.” Namjoon starts, glancing at his mate who is holding their child, “We’ve only figured out so much, there isn’t a lot to go on. I can’t totally confirm our findings, but we’ll be honest with you.

“The wolves from last night were poisoned with nightshade. But! They are alive, in comas, but alive. For those who don’t know, nightshade are poisonous berries that are not native to this area. Nightshade has never been used against us before, this is not the tactics of hunters, therefore, we’ve hypothesized that this occurrence is not only purposeful, but that it was done by our kind.” 

Audible gasps tear through the crowd and the murmuring picks up once more, it’s so overwhelming that it drowns out the head alpha, who’s calling for attention. 

“Everyone, bring it back,” It starts weakly, Namjoon not expecting this, “Please, everyone, calm down,” no one listens, “Quiet!” He snarls loudly, everyone in the crowd bowing in submission at the command of the head alpha. 

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon says once he’s done snarling, “I didn’t mean to lose control, just need your attention at this time. This is a very important matter and we can’t panic. For the time being, I’m asking you to be cautious, especially if you meet any outsiders, don’t engage if you don’t have to. Protect yourself if needed, don’t stray too far from pack grounds, try to keep any night activities to a minimum. Uh, are there any-” 

A scream sounds from behind them and everyone’s head turns, looking around in a panic to figure out where it came from. 

“That-that sounded like Taehyun,” Soobin whispers then he’s up and running to the tent where Taehyun is, Yeonjun following hot on his heels. 

They can hear the head alpha’s voice from behind them, capturing everyone’s attention again. “Everyone! Please! Head back to your tents while we sort this out, okay?” 

Soobin stops at the doctor’s tent where Taehyun gave birth yesterday and steps inside, Yeonjun going inside with him. The sight hits Yeonjun’s heart, a bad feeling brewing in the pit of his gut while he listens to a distressed Taehyun. 

“My baby! Where’s my baby!?” Taehyun cries hysterically as he looks around frantically, tears streaming down his face, eyes wild with sadness and rage. “Where is she!? Where’s my baby!? Beomgyu, where’s my baby!?” He grips onto Beomgyu’s arm tightly and shakes him. 

Beomgyu is furious, snarling with crazed eyes. There’s clear sorrow in them as well, but it’s not enough to douse the fire burning within him. “Stop it, stop it, Taehyun, calm down, please, I need you to calm down, mate.” Beomgyu speaks through clenched teeth, but Yeonjun can tell his beta is genuinely worried for their baby and their mate. 

The omega is going absolutely crazy with grief. Yeonjun doesn’t blame him, he just finished carrying that baby for nine months only to have her disappear even though she’s only a newborn. 

Yeonjun’s confused and Soobin seems to feel the same because he asks, “What-what happened?” 

Beomgyu’s sharp eyes land on the alpha in the tent. “We woke up and our baby was gone.” 

“What? How-how could anyone let that happen?” 

“It’s my fault.” Beomgyu looks down, eyebrows furrowed, eyes conflicted. “I-I was supposed to protect them, but I-I feel asleep, and I don’t know why when this was so important, but I did. Goddess, why did I let this happen?” He whispers the last part to himself. 

Soobin heads over to Beomgyu, gets on his knees and puts a hand on his arm. “Hey, it wasn’t you, Beomgyu. It was the sick bastard that decided to take your baby.”   
  


“It’s just...how-how did neither of us wake up while it was happening, I would’ve smelled them in the tent, my beta would’ve smelled them, I should’ve-” 

“Now’s not the time, Beomgyu. Right now, we have to go find your baby, okay? It doesn’t matter what you should’ve done, anything before this moment doesn’t matter. All we have to do is go find her, okay? So let’s go.” Soobin stands and tugs Beomgyu’s arm to which Beomgyu responds by getting up and leading the way out of the tent, his hand tightened around a cloth that Yeonjun assumed belonged to their baby girl. 

Taehyun sniffles and whines while watching his mate leave, tears falling down at a rapid rate. “No, no…” he whimpers to himself, “don’t leave me, mate, please.” 

_Help him_ , the voice in his head says, _touch your foreheads together and send out your pheromones, it’s what omegas do to calm each other down._

_Well, here goes nothing_ , Yeonjun replies to his internal omega. 

Scooting closer, Yeonjun grabs Taehyun’s forearms. “It’s okay, Taehyun, it’s okay, he’s going to find her for you, he’s going to find your baby.” 

Taehyun bows his head while crying. “I didn’t even get to name her. She doesn’t have a name, I didn’t get to give her a name, Yeonjun, a fucking _name_.” 

Yeonjun gets even closer and cups Taehyun’s face, tipping his head forward and leaning in so he can touch their foreheads together. He closes his eyes and releases pheromones to help Taehyun calm down, the scent surrounding him. “It’s gonna be okay, Taehyun, just take it easy. You’re physically and emotionally exhausted, the best you can do is rest up and wait for Beomgyu to come back.” 

“With our baby?” 

“Yeah, with your baby. Just relax for now and don’t worry too much.” 

  
Yeonjun has to reassure him, he _has_ to, even if it does turn out to be false.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah writing was just not happening these past couple days idk, I was also doing stuff (while following COVID guidelines) with my family  
> hope you liked the chapter, and I appreciate all the kindness and support you guys have been giving me  
> school is starting soon and idk if i'll be able to finish this book before the school year starts but i'll try my best :)  
> see y'all soon!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	15. Chapter 15

Taehyun breathes in Yeonjun’s pheromones, calms down despite hiccuping, sniffling, and sometimes choking on harsher breaths. Yeonjun looks at his face with a woeful expression of his own, his thumbs caressing the sides of Taehyun’s head, and continues to supply his pheromones to keep Taehyun calm while they wait. 

“What were you going to name her, Taehyun?” Yeonjun finds himself asking. 

Taehyun sniffles and bites his trembling bottom lip. It takes him a moment before he can answer. “Beomgyu chose Dea and I chose Hyejin, but we made a-a deal.” He let out a weak sob. “If I gave birth to her this week, Hyejin, if next week, Dea. But either way I was gonna name her Hyejin, Beomgyu likes to pretend I-I was going to keep my end of the deal.”

Yeonjun chuckles softly at Taehyun’s story. “Hyejin, I love that name. Does it have a special meaning? Why Hyejin?”

“Well, it actually has t-two meanings, intelligent a-and precious. She was so small, Yeonjun, and, o-of course, being my daughter, she’s going to be very bright.” Taehyun explains, a small smile tugging up at his lips. 

“Don’t worry, they’re going to find her. I may not know Beomgyu personally, but he’s very determined. He’s taken care of you this far, and now that he's got two of you, he’s going to take care of you both. He’s going to find her, no matter what.” Yeonjun shouldn’t make promises like that, but he’s desperate to make Taehyun feel better and he does have a lot of faith in Beomgyu.

Taehyun nods his head against Yeonjun. “Okay, Yeonjun, I believe you.” 

_You shouldn’t have promised anything_ , the omega inside of him helpfully supplies. 

_I didn’t know what else to do, I just wanted to reassure him and make him feel better_ , Yeonjun replies, feeling his eyes glaze over as he speaks internally with his wolf. 

_But what if they don’t come back with the baby?_

Yeonjun feels his heart sink at the words spoken by his omega, _I don’t think they’ll be cruel enough to kill a newborn_. 

There’s a pause before the omega answers, _You were._

That one hurt, Yeonjun has to admit, but it’s not like his internal omega is wrong, he was cruel enough, trained to kill no matter how big or small the werewolf was, trained to kill no matter what age the werewolf was, even if they didn’t have an age. If he can end up like that, so can the person that’s doing all of this. 

Yeonjun hopes that person isn’t anything like who he used to be, hopes that whoever is doing this doesn’t kill as ruthlessly as the agency made him. So far, whoever has done this, has allowed the werewolves poisoned with nightshade to live, so he’s begging whatever god or goddess up there to convince that person to let the baby girl live, unless it’s a different person that poisoned the wolves, then they have more than one threat and even more unpredictability to take into account. 

“Everything has to be okay,” Yeonjun mutters to himself out loud. 

“What?”

Yeonjun sighs and closes his eyes again. “I, uh, I said, everything will be okay.” 

“Oh,” Taehyun says and sniffles. 

Then the cry of a baby rips through the silence surrounding the omegas and both look up with nervous, unbelieving, and hopeful expressions. 

_They found her_ , Yeonjun says to himself. 

Seokjin walks into the tent, getting down on his knees after entering, carrying his fussy baby boy, and the hope dies, it all goes down the drain. Yeonjun glances back at Taehyun, sees how crushed and heartbroken he is that it wasn’t his beta mate with their child walking through. 

“I’m so sorry for disturbing you. My mate is trying to calm everyone down and put them in their tents, but it’s taking longer than he thought it would. He sent me to find out what happened over here, I’m sorry for not coming sooner.” He apologizes softly, adjusting the baby in his arms so he's on Seokjin’s hip. 

Yeonjun gazes at Taehyun in concern as the latter stares at the baby on Seokjin’s hip, his bottom lip beginning to tremble once more. “Do you...do you want me to tell him?” 

Taehyun is quick to agree, nodding his head as he looks away from where his stare was trained on the baby boy attempting to shove his fist in his mouth. 

Glancing back at Seokjin, he says, “Someone stole Beomgyu and Taehyun’s baby. They were both asleep and someone just took her.” 

Seokjin’s face morphs into one of horror and fear. “Are you - are you serious? Someone stole your baby, Taehyun?” 

Taehyun cries again, sobbing at the thought of his lost baby, his hands flying up to his face to cover it. “Yes!” 

Seokjin’s eyes widen in shock at Taehyun’s answer and reaction. He looks at Yeonjun next. “Where’s Beomgyu and your mate?” 

“They’re out looking for her now. They took her blanket to see if they can track her down by scent.” He explains to the luna. 

“Do you know how long she’s been gone?” 

“Taehyun and Beomgyu don’t know.” 

“I-I’m gonna go talk with some of our hunters, I’ll get them on it right away.” Seokjin moves closer and rests a hand on Taehyun’s leg. “I have no idea what you’re going through and I know it must be so hard, but right now, if you have anything with her scent on it that you can give me, please let me know.” 

Taehyun removes his hands from his face, panting breathlessly and hiccuping, but he responds anyway, “They-they can smell me, she’ll most li-likely smell like me still.” 

“Okay, I’m going to get our best hunters on it. Don’t you worry, Taehyun, we will find your baby.” Seokjin says to him before leaving the tent as quickly as possible to locate the hunters of their pack since they’re going to have the sharpest noses. 

“Where are they, Yeonjun? Why aren’t they back yet?” Taehyun whines, wiping at the tears on his cheeks.

“They’re still looking, Taehyun, we have to be patient. They’ll find your baby.” Yeonjun leans forward and touches their foreheads together again to see if it’ll calm him down like last time. 

Taehyun hiccups. “But I-I want her now.” 

“I know, I know, Taehyun, just a little more time. It’ll be alright,” Yeonjun squeezes his eyes shut, needs this to be one of his nightmares so he can wake up and find Taehyun and Beomgyu with their baby and Soobin by his side, smiling and hugging him and being touchy and loving like usual. Yeonjun can feel his pain, can feel Taehyun’s pain rolling off of him in waves, can hear it, can feel it like it was his own heart aching and yearning for a child he birthed. 

_Omegas are empaths, can feel anyone’s emotions if they make a platonic bond with that person,_ the voice tells him and it makes sense. 

Sadness washes over Yeonjun and tears prick at his eyes, but Yeonjun manages to hold it together, he has to be strong for Taehyun because of the situation. 

Releasing his pheromones, Yeonjun continues to soothe the troubled omega, “It’s okay, Taehyun, they’ll find her, they will.” 

Seokjin comes back with Jungkook and two other wolves. “The others have to take care of their families, so I got Jungkook, lead hunter of the pack, and you’ll have my right hand, Yoongi, and Namjoon’s right hand, Hoseok.” 

Jungkook, Yoongi, and Hoseok get closer to Taehyun, Seokjin signalling Yeonjun to move back. “Taehyun, if you don’t mind.” Taehyun shakes his head and looks away awkwardly as the three men inhale deeply, taking in the scent so it’s fresh in their noses. Then they step back, Jungkook speaking up again, “We’ll find her for you.” 

The three wolves leave and Yeonjun moves back so that he’s beside Taehyun, taking his hand in his own in a comforting gesture. 

“They’re the best of the best, I assure you, they’ll find your baby.” Seokjin says. “I’ll leave you two now, I must attend to my son, Namjoon isn’t very good at dealing with him when he’s fussy.” 

Someone else, a doctor, enters as Seokjin leaves, dark bags underneath his eyes and blinking to get his eyes back in focus from their sleepy haze. He stumbles in and looks at Taehyun with wide eyes. 

“Taehyun, I’m sorry, I must’ve been tired last night because I fell asleep. How are you feeling? Need any medication?” 

“It’s okay, Jimin, I’m fine. All I need right now is my baby.” Taehyun sniffles. 

“Oh, where’s Beomgyu? Did he take her for a walk?” The doctor, Jimin, asks with a bright smile. 

Taehyun takes a shaky breath. “No, he went to go find her. Someone took her last night, Jimin. Beomgyu and I fell asleep too. I don’t know when, but sometime while we were asleep.” 

Yeonjun listens to what Jimin and Taehyun are saying, he can tell that somethings not right, but he saves it for later because his main job at the moment is to be there for Taehyun.

“My goddess, are you kidding me? How...how could someone take your baby?” Jimin’s eyebrows furrow and he looks down, a guilty expression tugging at his soft features. “I can’t believe someone would do this. I’m so sorry, I should’ve been checking on you...I didn’t even get you that medication I was supposed to inject during the night. I still have to give it to you, if you’re okay with that right now. Are you?”

“Yeah, it’s okay.” Taehyun replies, squeezing Yeonjun’s hand. 

Jimin exits for a few short moments before coming back with a needle, a bottle of liquid medication, a bowl of water, a rag, and a cotton gauze. He settles beside Taehyun on his knees and gets to work, moving up his sleeve to reveal his shoulder. As he wets the rag and uses it to clean off the spot he’s going to inject the needle in, Jimin glances over at Yeonjun. “I don’t believe we’ve met before.” 

Yeonjun looks at him and shakes his head. “No, um, we haven’t. Uh, I’m Yeonjun.” 

  
“Despite the unfortunate circumstances, it’s nice to meet you, Yeonjun. I’m Jimin.” He gives him a small yet genuine smile. After he finishes wiping the spot, he picks up the bowl and hands it to Yeonjun. “Here, wipe down his arm, just stroke down continuously, it’ll calm him.” 

Yeonjun listens and dampens the rag again, stroking down Taehyun’s arm while Jimin prepares the needle. “What are you giving him?” 

“Just something that’ll take away some of the pain when he starts shifting again.” 

“Was he not able to shift while pregnant?” 

“Well, pregnant omegas can, but it's recommended not to because it can mess with the way the baby is facing which increases the risk of harm to the baby and we don’t want that happening. And because it’s been a little bit since he’s shifted, it’s going to be almost as painful as the first time a werewolf shifts.” 

“Oh, I see.” Yeonjun replies. 

Jimin nods, grabs Taehyun’s arm, and carefully pushes the needle into the skin of his shoulder, injecting the liquified medicine into his friend. “There we go. You’re so good with needles, Taehyun, I wish all the little kids were like you.” He chuckles after pulling out the needle and using the cotton gauze to wipe away the droplet of blood that seeps out.

Taehyun is spaced out, eyes red and swollen, tear streaks staining his cheeks, letting Jimin and Yeonjun do whatever they need or want to do that helps him. Seeing him like this is painful for Yeonjun, it’s hard to watch him going numb, he can feel it too, just like he felt his pain from earlier. 

“It’ll be okay, Taehyun.” Yeonjun whispers. 

But then it wasn’t okay because Beomgyu and Soobin came back, both empty handed. Beomgyu, with watery red eyes, crawls up to his mate and cups his face. His voice breaking, he says, “I’m so sorry, mate. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t find, I couldn’t find our baby girl.” 

Yeonjun’s heart sinks, absolutely breaks after listening to the words Beomgyu whispered to Taehyun. Soobin, with a doleful expression, moves next to Yeonjun and hugs him from behind. He stops wiping Taehyun’s arm as Taehyun pulls away to embrace his mate. 

“I know, babe, I know...you tried your best, it’s okay. I love you.” Taehyun holds Beomgyu, a couple tears falling from his eyes as his beta mate sobs, gut wrenching, heart breaking, ugly sobs that brings tears to all of the eyes in the tent. “We just have to hope that the others come back with her.” 

Soobin turns to Yeonjun, “You got others to search?” 

“Uh,” Yeonjun wipes the tears on his lash line, “Seokjin stopped by, brought a few people to help search for her.” 

“Oh.” Soobin sighs and then asks, “can we talk outside real quick?” 

Yeonjun looks at him with a furrowed brow. “Now?” Soobin nods. “Sure?” Soobin crawls out of the tent after being given confirmation and Yeonjun glances at Taehyun and Beomgyu before leaving the tent himself and standing in front of Soobin. “What did you want to talk about?” 

Soobin is reluctant to answer. “Well, I-I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, not at all, I mean well-” 

“Why would you ask something that could be taken the wrong way…?” 

“I can’t keep the question off my mind I just-” 

“If you’re gonna ask the question, Soobin, just ask the question.” Yeonjun states firmly, his eyebrows furrowing further because of Soobin's nervous ramblings. 

“Were you really doing what you said you were doing last night when you woke up from your dream?” 

Yeonjun’s taken by surprise, he’s shocked, he can’t believe what Soobin just asked him. Out of all the things he could’ve asked, he asked Yeonjun that specific question. He doesn’t know how to react or how to respond to the question so he takes a moment to toss it back and forth, really process the information. 

“You think I lied to you? You think _I_ stole Taehyun and Beomgyu’s baby?” 

“No, no, I-I didn’t say that, Yeonjun-” 

“You didn’t have to,” Yeonjun cuts him off, “I can’t believe you’re doubting me. I’ve done so much to prove myself to you and to this pack. Are you kidding me, Soobin? You even said it yourself, if I were trying to take down this pack, I would’ve done it when I had everyone’s full trust!” 

“I’m sorry! It’s just...you were gone when I woke up and now Taehyun and Beomgyu’s baby is missing? That’s suspicious, Yeonjun! Suspiciously bad timing. I couldn’t help thinking about it!” 

“I can’t believe you, Soobin. I would never, you know I’ve changed, you said it yourself! I wouldn’t have told you so much about me and about the agency, don’t you realize that I could fucking _die_ for telling you as much as I did?” Yeonjun’s face contorts because he’s hurt, his heart aching at the accusations from the one person that was by his side the whole time before this happened. 

“Look, Yeonjun, I only-” 

“No, you know what, Soobin?” Yeonjun spits, glaring at him. “Don’t talk to me because I’m so done with you right now. I swear, you can’t just-” 

Yeonjun stops talking as a figure comes up from the woods behind Soobin. It’s the guy, Yoongi, the one Seokjin brought over, followed by Jungkook and Hoseok, and he’s delicately holding a small being in his arms, walking towards Soobin and Yeonjun. 

Soobin glances back to see what Yeonjun’s looking at, only to turn around completely as Yoongi comes closer, holding Taehyun and Beomgyu’s missing baby. 

Yeonjun runs over to the tent and pops his head through the entrance flaps. “He found her.” 

A dejected Beomgyu suddenly perks up and Taehyun’s eyes widen. “Who found her?” Beomgyu asks.

  
  
“That-that Yoongi guy, he found your daughter.” Yeonjun smiles lightly as he relays the news to the mated couple. 

Beomgyu is out of there in no time, Yeonjun has to stumble back to give him enough room to actually exit the tent and he’s running to where Yoongi is heading for them with their daughter. Yeonjun watches as he takes the baby girl from his arms and coos at her with tears running down his face. 

“Beomgyu!” Taehyun yells from the tent since he’s still not well enough to get up and go over to them.   
  


Beomgyu rushes his step and enters the tent with their daughter, smiling at his mate with shiny, teary eyes, Yeonjun hot on his heels to watch the family reunite. “She’s okay, Hyunnie, she’s okay.” He gets to his knees and crawls over with the baby in his arms as best he can, handing her off to Taehyun while he situates himself beside him. 

Taehyun smiles and laughs at the sleeping newborn in his arms. “Hey, girly,” he delicately touches her forehead, voice shaky, eyes wet with tears, “You’re here. You’re really here.” 

“Name her, baby, she needs her name. I don’t care what it is, she deserves to have her name.” Beomgyu tells his mate, putting his arm around Taehyun and pulling him into his chest. 

“Yeah, okay. This baby girl is Hyejin, our beautiful daughter.” Taehyun smiles down at her and then looks at his mate with the same wide smile, Beomgyu smiling back and pressing a kiss to his mate's cheek. He leans down and presses a small kiss to her cheek, but stops on the way back up, seeing a black mark on her chest. 

Yeonjun’s confused as to why Beomgyu’s smile disappeared, but it’s cleared up the moment Beomgyu pulls back the blanket over her chest, an ‘x’ drawn right over where her little heart resides. 

Beomgyu looks up at Yoongi, who’s standing in the opening of the tent alongside Soobin. “Where did you find her?” 

Yoongi shrugs. “I found her by some tree, I didn’t even notice that on her when I found her. Just scooped her up and headed straight back here.” 

“Oh…” Beomgyu replies, narrowing his eyes then touching the ‘x’, swiping his finger over it. He smells his finger. “It smells...kinda metallic, and it’s powdery,” he murmurs the words to himself as he investigates. 

“Hey, everyone,” Jimin calls to the people crowding the tent, “this is a beautiful reunion, but I think we should give this family some space. As his doctor, I’m gonna have to ask you all to get out.” He smiles at all of them, “I advise you to go back to your tents seeing as the head alpha has everyone else in theirs, and that’s it, thank you.” 

Yoongi, Soobin, and Yeonjun leave the tent, listening in as Jimin says he’ll check their baby for injuries to treat and then he'll leave, promising to come back to check on the family in an hour or so. Yoongi heads off in the other direction and Soobin as well as Yeonjun head back to their tent. 

Yeonjun’s heart is stoked over a blazing fire while simultaneously breaking apart. His mouth is set in a line and his arms are crossed as he makes his way to his and Soobin’s tent, trying his best not to curse at Soobin or cry in front of him. 

“Yeonjun, look, I-” 

“Leave me alone, Soobin.” 

Needless to say, Yeonjun sleeps as far away from Soobin that night as supernaturally possible. 

+++

_Yeonjun’s trapped in a capsule made of glass, his head, wrists, and ankles strapped down to a black slate held in the middle of the glass chamber. He struggles against the restraints, tugs harshly, fear creeping up his throat and his eyes searching around the room outside of the glass for anyone. It’s all dark, the light inside of the capsule illuminating Yeonjun and Yeonjun only._

_“Tell us what you did, Yeonjun.” Comes a voice from a speaker built into the top of the capsule._

_“What do you mean?” Yeonjun replies, terribly confused._

_“You spoke to her, didn’t you?”_

_“What? Who?”_

_“The prisoner at the werewolf camp, you spoke to her.”_

_“Yes-” Yeonjun gasps out, his regulated breathing now a harsh pant. “I-I-I did, but it was only-”_

_The sound of a machine turning on interrupts Yeonjun and he looks around frantically to try to find where the noise is coming from. He assumes it’s some sort of fan, he’s not completely sure, but he can hear the whip and whistling coming from the blades spinning in fast rotation._

_Yeonjun inhales sharply, only to cough and try to catch his breath. He can’t. He tries to inhale, exhales his air so he can try, which is an admittedly dumb move, but he panics when he finds he can’t breath._

_His lungs spasm, clench uncomfortably, his mind running circles to find any information stored in there to help him survive. Unfortunately, no information is brought to good use. He makes ugly noises, like he’s choking, and tries to speak._

_“H-help-” He manages to rasp out._

_“I wouldn’t waste my breath on trying to speak.” The person mocks into the microphone, laughing at his own joke since Yeonjun certainly cannot._

_Black clouds around Yeonjun’s field of vision and his head starts lulling to the side, then he hears the fan click off from where it was reversed and sucking the air out of the chamber. Yeonjun can breathe again, taking deep inhales and exhales, coughing, hacking horrifically as he gulps down air._

_“What did you talk to her about?”_

_Yeonjun can’t answer right away, he’s still trying to breathe properly, trying to take in enough air to be able to speak._

_“Answer me, Yeonjun, or I will turn it on again. What did you talk to her about?” The voice is aggressive and serious._

_“She-she begged-” Yeonjun gasps out as quickly as he can, “f-for her life! A-and I told her that I couldn’t do that! I killed her! I didn’t even think of letting her go, I promise!”_

_“Good.” The person says after Yeonjun’s rushed, breathless explanation._

_But then he can’t breathe again, the air sucked from his open, panting mouth. His lungs constrict painfully, burn as if it’s warning Yeonjun that he’ll die if he doesn’t get any air in. His heart rate bumps up, forces blood through his veins and arteries, steals the remaining oxygen, causes his body to convulse as he tries to inhale._

_It’s back, the air. It rushes into his lungs, floods and fills them like a balloon, washes over and soothes the fire boiling the bottom of his lungs. He gasps and chokes and coughs, fighting against the restraints, tears pricking at his eyes as he hopes and prays to God above that the person on the other side will release him._

_“Slivers of doubt are weakness. I’m helping you, Yeonjun. This is for your own good.”_

_The air leaves much faster this time, stolen from him, though there wasn't much to steal, and Yeonjun grapples with the straps forcing him down, holding him against his will and taking away his fight._

_This time, it all goes black much quicker._

+++

“Yeonjun!” Soobin’s voice breaks through the darkness. 

Yeonjun wakes up gasping, gulping down as much air as he can, chest moving up and down rapidly. He looks around in a panic, his eyes wild and mind stuck in half consciousness. 

“Hey, hey, Yeonjun, calm down, it’s okay. It was just another bad dream,” Soobin consoles him, arms wrapped around his moving body.

Yeonjun leans into him, holding onto him while he shakes violently, tears making his eyes red and leaking out. Soobin’s body is warm, comforting, and it doesn’t matter whether Yeonjun is mad at him about earlier or not - at least for right now - he needs Soobin.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay, you’re okay, I got you.” Soobin kisses his temple and rubs his back, trying his best to soothe Yeonjun and keep him from hyperventilating. 

Yeonjun gasps and cries more into Soobin’s chest. His heart aches, mind running so fast he’s dizzy, his lungs hurting from lack of air, his chest hurting because of how hard he was coughing. His fingers dig into Soobin’s biceps, trying to grasp the fact that he’s awake and this is reality. 

Yeonjun absolutely crumbles in Soobin’s arms. Sweet nothings become nothing, Yeonjun isn’t able to process what he’s saying anymore and he isn’t able to do anything but cling desperately to Soobin. 

Then the alpha pheromones creep into his system, takes control and takes over the overdrive setting in his head. His cries calm down to whimpers and his fingers as well as the rest of his body relax. His head lulls onto Soobin’s chest and his eyes close, inhaling deep breaths of his vanilla bean scent. It’s sweet, but not too sweet, just enough, a slight bitterness cutting through perfectly to balance the smell.

“It’s okay, Yeonjunnie, baby, everything’s going to be just fine.” 

Yeonjun falls back asleep in his rightful place, Soobin’s doting arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all! wanted to get this out because i didn't want you waiting for too long, plus i hate cliff hangers myself so here you go  
> loved those who asked where the baby was on twitter! (lowkey fun clowning you guys) y'all know I couldn't do it, i just couldn't (says the person who wrote Yeonjun as a ruthless killer before he became good)  
> but yeah! much more heading your way! hope you enjoyed this chapter and were glad to see the baby is nice and well, I also really like her name, Hyejin is so prettyyyy
> 
> support those in beruit, lebanon, i bet they're having a hard time right now after the explosion. besides that, hope everyone is doing well! stay safe out there folks!!!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	16. Chapter 16

Yeonjun hasn’t spoken to Soobin at all this morning, and it’s childish, giving him the cold shoulder, he’ll admit, but he can’t talk with him right now. Even though Soobin helped him after he woke up from the nightmare and he ended up falling asleep in Soobin’s arms, he couldn’t speak to him, could barely look at him without his heart bleeding. 

Soobin’s been trying all morning to get Yeonjun to speak to him, even if it was one word, as he had stated, but Yeonjun hasn’t budged, only turning away from him when he tried to get in his face about it. Soobin did manage to make him laugh, having made faces at Yeonjun and laughing at himself, but that only resulted in making Yeonjun even angrier because he didn’t want to laugh at or with Soobin, he wanted to be left alone. 

Soobin has apologized at least a million times and has tried to explain himself a million more times that morning and he won’t stop, it’s starting to get on Yeonjun’s nerves, but he still refuses to tell him anything or say anything to him. 

“Yeonjun, please, you have to understand,” Soobin begs as they’re on their way to the open field where the head alpha has called another meeting. 

_I don’t have to understand anything_ , Yeonjun replies to Soobin in his head, walking forward with a straight face, arms crossed, still ignoring Soobin. 

“Please, mate, please listen to me,” Soobin pleads with him, eyes wide and desperate as his clumsy legs stumble trying to keep up with Yeonjun while walking sideways and looking at him. 

Yeonjun glares down at his feet, hoping Soobin understands the signal to back the fuck off. He’s really annoyed now. 

And then Soobin is stopping Yeonjun, getting down on his knees in front of him, in front of everyone surrounding them also heading to the meeting place, uncrossing Yeonjun’s arms for him so he could take his hands in his own. He squeezes down and holds them tightly, looking up at Yeonjun with desperation, his mouth set in an unconscious pout. 

Yeonjun’s so shocked, he speaks, “Wh-what are you doing?” His voice is rough and raspy from lack of use, almost like he just woke up. There’s a spark of pity and sadness at Soobin’s desperate face. 

“Please, Yeonjun, please understand, I didn’t mean to hurt you or make you mad, I don’t know why I even asked that stupid question, I was just...there was so much going on, Beomgyu and Taehyun are my best friends and they have been for a long time, to see them in distress and the thought of them losing their child. 

“I wasn’t thinking, Yeonjunnie, I-I know there’s no excuse for what I said and I’m sorry I even thought of that question, I’m so sorry, I just wanna make things right. I love you so much and I’m sorry I hurt you, you deserve so much better. I’m sorry…” Soobin whispers out the words. 

Yeonjun’s heart aches, the urge to forgive Soobin is strong, he’s close to doing it because it was one stupid mistake and Soobin doesn’t make mistakes often. He’s so loving and caring, his body physically ached - though he’s still wondering if it was more mental than anything - last night when he wasn’t in Soobin’s arms, being cuddled from behind, he was so, so _cold_ because Soobin’s warmth wasn’t radiating into his back like the heater he was. 

But when Soobin asked if he was lying? Yeonjun felt as if Soobin’s faith in him just left as soon as it arrived. He was hurt, he _is_ hurt. Soobin insinuated that he had done something to the baby of the people he had started to befriend. Yeonjun’s done so much to prove that he can be a werewolf, that he can unlearn all the untruthful teachings and prove himself to be the mate Soobin wants and deserves, that he can be a meaningful member of this pack. Soobin was the only support he had and now he feels like he doesn’t have anyone, especially because of how quickly Soobin changed his mind about Yeonjun.

Yeonjun keeps the facade on his face, internally conflicted on the subject of forgiving Soobin or not. Yeonjun feels like crying, can see himself sitting on the floor like a baby and crying his heart out, Soobin cooing and coddling him, kissing his face and squeezing him in a tight snuggle. He’s close to doing it, but he refrains and saves himself the embarrassment. 

“Okay.” Is all Yeonjun says. 

“Okay?” Soobin’s lips start lifting up in the corners. “Does that mean you forgive me?” 

“No.” Yeonjun replies and it hurts Yeonjun as much as it hurts Soobin. “You asked me to understand and to listen and that’s what I did. I get it, I mean, I don’t blame you anyway, who am I? Just a former killer trying to blend into a werewolf pack he clearly isn't welcomed into.” 

“Yeonjunnie, no,” Soobin starts but Yeonjun is done listening to him. 

He removes his hands from Soobin’s and walks around him. “We have to get to the meeting, Soobin.” 

Soobin follows after like a dejected puppy, Yeonjun sitting down and Soobin sitting next to him, but making sure to keep a distance. 

The head alpha and luna are up in front like yesterday, the luna holding their son. Namjoon speaks with a serious face. “Yesterday, I sent you to your tents as we dealt with another incident, everyone is okay thankfully, but I would like to repeat, look out for yourselves and your family. Be cautious, I’m allowing you outside your tent but don’t do anything alone, especially if you’re going to hunt or do anything that makes you stray from the pack campgrounds.

“With that said, tonight is the full moon and as tradition goes, we must crest our son underneath the moon tonight as the moon goddess and our ancestors will it. The time isn’t ideal, but it must happen tonight, so we’ll prepare the fires, the decorations, and the feast with help from everyone in this pack that is able to work. I will personally inspect all the food and decorations right before we begin the ceremony, and I’ll be overlooking all the activities throughout the day.

“The ceremony will commence tonight, we will crest our son under the full moon and we will name him heir. One day, our son, Kangdae, will take over this pack, as the first born son from my mate and I, he is predestined to be an alpha.” With a proud smile, Namjoon glances back at his son who gurgles and waves at him when he looks, squealing excitedly. He looks back at the crowd. “Let’s get a start on the preparations, thank you for your time everyone, and stay safe please. That is all.” 

Small groups start forming among the werewolves, like everyone knows where they belong. Well, everyone except Yeonjun. He feels the urge to go to Soobin and ask what to do, but he’s still upset and would rather find someone to help him, especially someone with the same second gender.

Thankfully, he spots Taehyung and makes a quick escape so that Soobin won’t try to help him. As he makes his way over, he pretends like he didn’t see the flash of hurt on Soobin’s face when he walked away as if without a single thought about Soobin. 

“Taehyung!” Yeonjun calls as he gets closer. “Hey, um, I was wondering if you could help me?” 

“Oh yes!” Taehyung agrees, “Well, the rest of the omegas have to make baskets for everyone and pick berries, but I’m actually going with the orphans and some of the children in my classes to braid flower crowns for the whole pack. It’s a lot to do, but we have time.” 

Yeonjun gulps at the thought of children, but he must face his fears if he’s going to be able to assimilate into this pack, better sooner than later, he guesses. So he replies nervously with, “Yeah, okay.” 

“I said one day I would introduce you to my kids and I know you’ve already met a couple, but you’ve got to meet the rest, they’re simply delightful.” Taehyung explains excitedly. “I just have to make a quick pit stop at the doctors tent, Jimin’s there and I need to get something from him.” 

“Okay, then let’s go.” Yeonjun shrugs and Taehyung basically jumps for joy at the answer, dragging him along to the doctor's tent where one of Taehyung’s mates are located. 

“You wanna come in with me?” 

“Um, actually, Taehyun’s in the tent right next to this one so I think I’m gonna drop by and check on him and the baby.” Yeonjun jabs his thumb beside him and receives a nod of approval from Taehyung, who goes into the tent right after. 

Moving over and carefully peeking into the tent, Yeonjun makes his presence known. “Hey guys.” 

Beomgyu’s eyes narrow but don’t glare, though his tone has a slight bite to it. “What are you doing here?” 

Taehyun glares at his mate and weakly smacks him in the arm as best he can while holding Hyejin. “Stop it, Beommie. Be nice.” 

Beomgyu scoffs, but his eyes soften when he looks at his mate. “I don’t trust him.” 

“I do, he was there for me and he’s been a pretty good friend so far.” Taehyun says. “That should get him something, right?” 

“It-it’s okay.” Yeonjun speaks up, entering the tent cautiously so he doesn’t set off Beomgyu. “He’s right, I haven’t really given him a reason to trust me and I started off on the wrong foot, so he is totally right in being suspicious of me.” 

The beta takes a deep breath. “Go ahead. Taehyun’s okay with it, so I shouldn’t say anything.” 

“Thanks.” Yeonjun gives a small smile. 

Sitting near Taehyun, he smiles as the baby in Taehyun’s arms coos and squirms a bit. Yeonjun feels the pang in his heart from what he’s done in the past, the shame weighing on him, and he feels as if he doesn’t deserve to even look the baby’s way. Let alone having her sparkling eyes drifting around until they land on him and her lips pulling up into an adorably gummy smile. 

“She’s smiling at you, Yeonjun!” Taehyun smiles at her and glances at Yeonjun.

Yeonjun looks into her small, happy eyes and smiles back. Tears push to surface but Yeonjun forces them back with a lump in his throat, suddenly wishing Soobin was there to comfort him as the feelings attempt to overwhelm him. He laughs nervously and the little girl giggles her little heart out, laughing like she’s truly experiencing pure joy from the mere sight of Yeonjun. 

If Soobin were here, he’d probably say something cheesy like she sees what he sees in Yeonjun or something like that. An urge to find the alpha and drag him back over here encases his heart and he feels like he _needs_ Soobin here. 

Even when Yeonjun was hating the werewolves, Soobin was always there and now it felt lonely and cold without him always by his side. Yeonjun has been by himself when attending classes, but he was never mad at Soobin and had that thought in the back of his mind that if he really needed him or even just called him over, Soobin would be there as quickly as possible. To know that he doesn’t have that support right now hurts, it hurts a lot. 

But Yeonjun’s done this before and he can certainly do it again. All he has to do is ignore it and it’ll go away for the time being, long enough to focus on the current moment and the current tasks at hand. 

“Do you wanna hold her, Yeonjun?” Taehyun’s question breaks Yeonjun from his thoughts.   
  
He’s taken aback. “What?” 

“Do you wanna hold her? She seems to really like you, I bet she would be very happy being held by you.” Taehyun encourages, showing her to Yeonjun as if her cute little face will entice him further. 

Yeonjun hesitates, but in the end, he shakes his head. “I-I’ve never held a baby before, I don’t wanna do something wrong a-and accidentally hurt her. I-I...um, have to go anyway, Taehyung and I need to get to the orphans and the children from his class, I just wanted to stop by and check in on you. I’ll, uh, see you later. Thanks though, Taehyun.” 

Taehyun’s features dim a bit, but he gives an understanding nod and smile. “That’s okay, maybe another time. I’ll see you at the ceremony tonight then?” 

“Are you able to make it?” Yeonjun asks in surprise. 

“Well, Jimin’s been giving me pain meds and it’s the third day, with help from Beomgyu, I should be able to. May take me some time, but I’ll be there.” Taehyun explains. 

“Oh, well, yeah, then, I’ll see you guys there. Enjoy your time with little Hyejin.” With that last sentence, Yeonjun crawls out of the tent and gets to his feet, walking over the tent on the right of the one he exited to see what was taking Taehyung so long.

Peeking his head in, Yeonjun starts to say, “Hey, Taehyung, what’s-” 

He stops when he sees Taehyung kissing the ever living daylights out of Jimin, it’s so aggressive, Yeonjun’s stunned and stuck in his spot, watching them like a creeper. The image of him and Soobin kissing that one and only time pops up in his memory, though the complete opposite of the kiss Taehyung and Jimin are currently sharing, it makes him and his internal omega yearn for the soft touch of Soobin’s lips on his cheek, his forehead, his lips. 

Jimin makes little squeaking noises as Taehyung takes control, but then they pull away for air and that’s when Jimin sees Yeonjun. “Oh my god!” He scoots away from his mate. “H-How long have you been standing there?”

Jimin looks terrified, Taehyung looks smug, and Yeonjun is blushing furiously as he’s caught staring. “S-sorry, not long at all, I-I was just wondering what was, um, taking Taehyung so long. I’ll-I’ll give you guys a moment.” He backs out of the tent and internally scolds himself for watching them after he saw and recognized it was a private moment between the two. 

_You should forgive Soobin,_ the omega in him suggests. 

_I know you miss him, I do too, but he hurt me and I’m not ready to forgive him yet_ , Yeonjun replies, though he feels the melancholy entomb his heart. 

_Maybe you are ready to forgive him, but you’re just stubborn_ , the voice sounds as though it’s pouting. 

_I’m the one who decides when I’m ready and I say I’m not ready yet_ , Yeonjun huffs, sneering at the omega in his head, _Stop putting pressure on me, I feel bad enough already._

The voice stops talking for the time being and Yeonjun isn’t sure if he’s glad about it or not. He feels lonely, exactly how he used to feel. Before he could never recognize the feeling, but now it’s all too prominent. His chest aches and he frowns to himself, he misses Soobin too much. Is he hurting himself by not forgiving Soobin? Lately, it feels like Yeonjun never makes the right decision when it comes to Soobin or the pack. Whatever decision he makes, there’s no hope for him in this pack. 

“Hey! Yeonjun!” Taehyung breaks him out of his thoughts, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You okay there, buddy?” 

Yeonjun looks at him, frowning. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking.” 

“About?” Taehyung presses, raising an eyebrow. 

“Nothing important.” 

“It must be important if it’s got you frowning like that. Come on, maybe you need another opinion to make you feel better.” Taehyung wraps an arm around his shoulder and steers him over to where the children are grouped up, accompanied by two older wolves, a male and a female

Sighing, Yeonjun tells him. “The night before Taehyun’s baby was stolen, I woke up from a nightmare. I wanted some fresh air so I went outside and walked around a little bit. I was also paranoid from the attack on the wolves so I checked to make sure that there weren’t any people around. Specifically people from the agency. 

“I got hungry eventually and I went to the berry bushes Soobin and I usually go to. He found me eating there and we went back to bed after that. Then, you know, Taehyun’s baby was gone, and before they found her, Soobin asked me a question.” Yeonjun stops there, it pains him to repeat or even think about what he said. 

“Do you mind telling me what he said to you?” 

“He basically asked me if I took the baby.” Yeonjun looks down at his feet and sighs harshly. “He thought I lied to him.”

Taehyung’s hand rubs Yeonjun’s shoulder. “You know I can tell when someone’s lying. When I was younger, I used to be so quiet. I was so very observant, I mean, what else did I have to do if I wasn’t talking? People are easy to read now, I’ve had so much practice.” 

“You didn’t talk as much as you did now?” 

“Nope, not at all. But two mates and a hell of a lot of encouragement later, I’m completely myself and have developed the skill of telling when people are lying.” Taehyung gives him a pointed look.

“I’m not lying.” Yeonjun says to Taehyung, “I promise you, I’m not lying.” 

“I know, Yeonjun, you’re not lying.” Taehyung squeezes Yeonjun into his side like a hug. “I’m sorry he said that.” 

“He asked me to forgive him, that he was just under a lot of pressure and it was hard seeing Taehyun and Beomgyu so distressed. Also how they’ve been friends since forever so yeah. He might’ve said something else, but I can’t remember.” Yeonjun glances down at his feet, trying not to let the hurt show. 

“He must’ve really hurt you. What with being the only one to support you in the beginning and then suddenly having doubts?” Taehyung replies. 

Yeonjun nods. “Exactly. I’ve tried really hard to try to fit in here, not just for me, but for him too. Why does he doubt me now?” 

“And you miss him, don’t you?” Yeonjun glances at Taehyung with a slightly alarmed look. “I saw your face when you saw me kissing Jimin, you weren’t looking at us like you wanted to join in, you were looking at us like you were really sad.” 

The choppy sea of emotions swells and crashes within Yeonjun’s chest. He feels like crying, but he can’t, not in front of Taehyung. “Yeah,” his voice cracks, “I do miss him.” 

“But you’re not ready to forgive him, I presume?” 

“Yeah...am I doing the right thing? I mean, I wanted to forgive him, but what he said just, just hurt me, a lot. I don’t know if I’m just causing myself more pain or if I really did this for the right reason.” 

“Are you still hurting because of what Soobin said?” Yeonjun nods. “Then you made the right choice. When it stops hurting and you feel you’re ready to forgive him, then that’s when you forgive him.”

Yeonjun hesitates with his next question but eventually gets it out. “How do I make it stop hurting?” 

Taehyung looks at him with a small smile. “You cry it out, you scream it out, you run it out, you do whatever you need to do to get it out. You’re not obligated to forgive him right away, okay? Take as much time as you need.” 

Yeonjun nods and gives Taehyung a smile back. “Thanks, Taehyung,” 

“Of course, Yeonjun, what are friends for?” 

Yeonjun feels the smile on his face grow as they finally make it to where the children are with the two omegas. He can smell it on them, omegas usually having a sweeter smell, all of them already starting on making the celebratory flower crowns. 

Taehyung takes a seat and greets every single one of them with a big, boxy smile. There aren’t too many children, but there are enough to overwhelm Yeonjun. He nervously sits beside Taehyung and smiles at the kids. 

“Children, I want you to meet Yeonjun. He’s my friend and I’d love it if you just give him a warm welcome to our group because he is new here and doesn’t have many friends. So please, everyone say, ‘Hi, Yeonjun’.” 

A collective ‘Hi, Yeonjun’ rings into the air from the children and Yeonjun gives a small smile in return with a small wave. “Hi guys.” He ignores the subtle suspicious stares given to him by the other omegas, he hasn’t given them any reason to trust him so he’s got to try his best right now. 

“Would anyone like to show Yeonjun how to make a flower crown?” Taehyung asks the class. 

There’s an obvious hesitation and Yeonjun understands, they don’t know him, of course, no one would want to teach him how to make the flower crowns. Well, that’s what he thought until a little hand shot up among the small crowd of children, a little girl, short black hair in two small pigtails with a bright grin. 

“I’ll do it!” She says, her eyes shifting between Taehyung and Yeonjun. 

“Miyeon! Thank you so much for volunteering, I really appreciate it!” Taehyung smiles right back at her then looks at Yeonjun, gesturing to the little girl. “Go ahead and sit by her, she’ll help you out.”

Yeonjun takes a deep breath and gets up, walking over to where the little girl is sitting. He takes a seat by her and one of the adult omegas sets a pile of flowers, vines, and sticks in front of him. He thanks the male omega, who only nods in reply. 

“Hi! I’m Miyeon!” The little girl in front of him says, sticking her hand out for a hand shake. 

Yeonjun smiles at her and takes her hand, shaking it gently. “It’s very nice to meet you, Miyeon. I’m Yeonjun. How old are you?” 

“I’m eight!” 

Yeonjun’s eyebrows furrow because between the ages of six to seven, a werewolf child shifts for the first time and it leaves a mark, but she doesn’t have one. Yeonjun’s never been sure why those specific ages, but he assumes it has to happen at sometime, their moon goddess must’ve chosen it for them. He gets an idea and takes a deep breath, inhaling then exhaling and smelling it, that hard to describe, distinctive smell. 

With wide eyes, Yeonjun whispers, “You’re human?” 

Miyeon’s smile dims a bit. “Yeah, I’m not a werewolf. But for not being a werewolf, I’m the best at making flower crowns!” Her smile brightens up again.

Yeonjun puts the surprising fact away for the time being and smiles back at her. “I bet you are, Miyeon. Why don’t you show me how to make one?” 

Miyeon nods and begins instructing him on what to do, it’s not too hard and doesn’t take a long time for Yeonjun to catch on. Yeonjun engages the little girl with conversation as they hand make the flower crowns. 

“I used to think I was human,” Yeonjun says. 

“Is that why you don’t have a mark like everyone else?” Miyeon asks, tying in the end of a flower into the crown. 

Yeonjun nods. “Yeah, it is. I don’t know when I’ll have my first shift. My...wolf has been suppressed for a very long time, to the point that I never even knew I was a werewolf.” 

“That can happen?” 

“Apparently.” 

“I wish I was a werewolf.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“Because then I would fit in. I don’t like being different from everyone else. And I would get a mate. Teacher Tae told me what it’s like to have a mate, he has two. It sounds nice. I want someone to love me.” Miyeon admits to Yeonjun, weaving another flower into the crown. 

“I’m sure someone already does.” 

“I don’t think so, mister.” 

Yeonjun’s surprised by her words and stops making the flower crown. “Why would you say that, Miyeon?” 

Miyeon shrugs. “I’m an orphan and Teacher Tae only takes care of me because that’s his job.” 

“Let me tell you a little secret about Teacher Tae,” Yeonjun continues to weave the crown, “He loves all of you kids, all the orphans, even the students who already have a mother and father. He loves you and he wants the best for you because he knows you need it, but also because he wants to give you that love.”

“Really?” 

“Really, he loves all of you. So you do have someone to love you.” Yeonjun glances at Miyeon and smiles when he sees her smiling.

“Do you have someone who loves you?” 

Yeonjun’s smile fades in its brightness, his eyes filling with sadness. “Yes, I do.” 

“Are they making you sad?” Miyeon catches his expression, her smile becoming a frown. 

“At the moment? Yes. We had a fight yesterday, he said something that was...not so nice to me.” 

“What a big meanie. How could someone say something mean to you? You’re so nice!” 

Yeonjun chuckles at her words, holds back the tears that threaten to rise. “Thank you, Miyeon. In some odd, strange way, he wasn’t trying to be mean, but it came out bad. I didn’t take it well.” 

“Are you still mad at him?” 

“More disappointed than mad now that I think about it. You see, before him, I didn’t have anyone else. I had my parents, but they died when I was really young. I’m an orphan too, but the people that took care of me didn’t love me and made me do some...pretty bad things.” 

Now that Yeonjun is talking about it and the information is finally processing in his brain, he’s being shown literal proof that werewolves weren’t the monsters the agency made them out to be. They took in a _human_ girl when they easily could’ve taken advantage of her or killed her. But they’re not, they’re taking care of her and raising her like she’s a part of the pack. 

Guilt wells in the pit of Yeonjun’s stomach, but he accepts that he did it, that it’s a part of his past he won’t ever escape. All he can do now is change his ways and do his best to support the werewolf lives surrounding him. 

Staring at the happy human girl that’s being brought up by these werewolves, she alone is living proof that werewolves and humans can coincide peacefully and even take care of each other. The evil teachings taught by the agency were wrong, the agency was and still is wrong about werewolves. They blatantly lied to Yeonjun’s face and tortured him into killing innocent wolves, no matter what age, no matter what size. 

“What did they make you do?” Miyeon asks curiously and solemnly. 

Yeonjun is reluctant to answer so he sums it up to, “Some really bad things.”

“Like what?” 

Oh, how it’s a blessing and a curse for children to be so naturally curious. “They made me hurt werewolves.” 

Miyeon appears to be confused. “But why? Why would you hurt them?” 

“Well, my parents were killed by a werewolf, so they built off of the anger I had for that werewolf. They lied to me, I had only witnessed bad werewolves, not good ones, so I believed them. To make sure I believed them, they would hurt me a lot, really badly. If I had a single doubt or if I felt guilt, they would hurt me or threaten to kill me.” Yeonjun explains to her. 

Miyeon huffs and glares at the finished flower crown in her hands. “What a bunch of meanies!”

Yeonjun laughs and smiles. “I can’t believe I just told you all of that. You’re only a little girl, Miyeon, you shouldn’t be hearing such awful things.”   
  


“No, no, no, I’m a big girl, I can take it!” Miyeon protests. 

“You’re tough, I bet you can.” Yeonjun tells her and she absolutely beams.   
  
“I can! I-I’m _super_ tough!” She continues and Yeonjun agrees with her. “Are you okay now that you’re with us?” 

Yeonjun nods his head. “Yeah, but I feel guilty.”

“About hurting the werewolves?” 

“Yeah, about hurting the werewolves. But now I see that they were wrong and I feel bad because I hurt a lot of werewolves who didn’t deserve it.” 

“But they forced you to! They lied to you! A-and hurt you! That’s not fair! It’s their fault.” Miyeon’s little eyebrows furrow with anger and her nose scrunches up. 

“If only it was that easy, Miyeon. They still used me to do it, and I did it. I hurt them, they convinced me I was doing the right thing, and it is their fault, but it’s also my fault for carrying out the actions. I regret it and I wish I could bring all of them back, I wish I could’ve stopped the person that took me and put me in the agency. But I can’t, unfortunately.” 

“I would forgive you.” Miyeon states with a determined look on her face. 

“You say that, Miyeon, but-”

“No, no buts. I would do it because it’s those meanies that made you do it. They’re evil. I would be mad at them, not you.” Miyeon starts on another flower crown, her sentence left with an air of finality. 

Yeonjun can only smile, a small yet genuine smile at her. “Whatever you say, Miyeon, whatever you say.” 

+++

Yeonjun has no one else to sit by, so he’s forced to sit next to Soobin, though he’s slightly glad because Beomgyu and Taehyun are there too with their baby Hyejin as well as Huening Kai, who is currently talking with Soobin. 

It’s cloudy tonight, but Namjoon said that by the time they crest him, the moon will be out. There are fires lit all around and everyone is enjoying their food, personally inspected by the alpha, he even said that he tasted some of it to be completely sure. 

Yeonjun and the rest of his group have already finished their meal and now they’re just waiting for the cresting to commence. With a quick glance around every now and then, everyone is wearing a flower crown, everyone is eating the same thing, and everyone has already done their offering to the moon goddess. 

It’s loud. Smiles, laughs, incessant chatter fill the air. Yeonjun’s not sure he’s seen so much joy and happiness in one place. He likes the environment much more than the environment he was in back at the agency. It was never loud, never filled with chattering, no laughing and no smiles. Too quiet, to the point it wasn’t healthy. 

Yeonjun turns back to his group and watches as Taehyun and Beomgyu have a heated discussion while Taehyun breast feeds their baby. He has no idea what it’s about, but they’re just going back and forth at each other. 

“I’m done.” Taehyun snaps at Beomgyu, holding a hand up that gets Beomgyu huffing and turning away. Taehyun closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, then turns to Yeonjun, “Yeonjun, how was your day?” 

“It was okay. Got to talk with Taehyung and I became friends with one of the orphans. Her name is Miyeon and she’s adorable and really nice, I admire how headstrong she is. What about your day?” Yeonjun asks conversationally. 

“It went fine. Hyejin kept getting hungry, she’s a little milk monster right now. She’s been drinking a little more than babies usually do, so it’s a bit hard to keep up with her.” Taehyun recalls, glancing down at the baby girl covered by a small animal hide while she drinks away. 

“How does it feel?” 

“Well, it’s weird, ticklish kind of, but this little girl doesn’t play, so I’m sore from earlier. It’s hard to explain.” Taehyun shrugs. 

Yeonjun purses his lips, “What about having...um, a chest full of milk?” 

“You mean having man boobs?” Taehyun raises an eyebrow, unamused. Yeonjun nods. “Still weird, but I’ll get used to it if it means she gets to eat.” 

“Oh. Sorry, I’m just...curious is all.” 

“I get it. I mean, you’ll experience this all for yourself when you and Soobin have a baby.” 

Yeonjun freezes. “I’m sorry, what?” 

Taehyun makes a contemplative face. “Did you not realize that because you’re an omega, you can bear children?” 

“No, I-I didn’t.” 

“You don’t have to have children, they got rid of that rule centuries ago, thankfully, I just assumed because most do. But it’s okay if you don’t.” Taehyun reassures him but Yeonjun’s not all that reassured. 

He’s still stuck on the whole ‘having a baby’ part. “I can grow a baby in a womb, inside of me?” 

Taehyun nods slowly. “All omegas can regardless of first gender. It’s kinda obvious seeing as I just had one.” 

“I can give birth to a child?” The information is not processing at the moment. 

“Yes, physically, you can.” 

“How does that even...work?” 

Taehyun laughs. “I’ll get into male omega anatomy another time. All you need to know is that it's possible and there’s even more of a chance for pregnancy during heat.” 

“Heat?” 

“Something all omegas go through, some are better, some are worse, depends if you’re lucky or not. Though I’m not sure when you’ll get yours. Every five months is when it happens for omegas, it just depends when you start. Every year, you should have at least two to three heats unless you're pregnant or just gave birth. They’re really intense, so thankfully it doesn't happen too often.”

“And I’m supposed to get one of those?” Taehyun nods in response to his question.

“Yep. Alpha’s have their own version of heat, it’s called a rut. It’s similar, but not by a lot. Beta’s don’t have heats or ruts, so they’re really the winners.” 

Taehyun looks at Beomgyu and Beomgyu smirks at him. “Hell yeah, baby, I got it easy.”

Taehyun rolls his eyes but chuckles. “You sure do.” 

It amazes Yeonjun how easily Beomgyu and Taehyun just made up. It hasn’t even been that long since the fight and yet they made up so fast without an apology, he wonders how they did it. 

Yeonjun risks a glance at Soobin, who, surprisingly, is already looking at him. They hold eye contact for about twenty seconds, Yeonjun counted, before Yeonjun looks back over at Taehyun. 

“What were you guys fighting about?” Yeonjun questions. 

“It was stupid. Beomgyu commented on something, I got over sensitive about it, and we fought for a bit. But we let it go.” Taehyun shrugs and peeks under the animal skin hiding his baby feeding from his breast. “What about you and Soobin? What’s up with you two?” 

“It’s nothing.” 

“It’s gotta be something if you’re not speaking with each other.” Taehyun fixes his clothing and pulls baby Hyejin from where she was behind the animal hide. She looks full and sated, her adorable little eyelids drooping down as she coos quietly. 

Yeonjun tries to come up with an answer, but luckily, the head alpha and luna walk in front of everyone with their baby boy. Yoongi and Hoseok stand off to the side holding special items, a small bowl filled with water and a small braided necklace type thing. 

“Everyone!” The head alpha calls for attention. Silence reins in the crowd quickly and they all look at the alpha. “Thank you for joining us at this celebration! In a short minute or so, these clouds will clear and the moon will shine down upon our pack. We will then crest our son.” 

A loud bout of applause sounds. Yeonjun feels a sudden ache in his neck, it’s a sharp pang of pain and it makes him wince. He rolls his shoulder and stretches his neck to the side, confused by the random pain. 

“Thank you! As you know, it’s tradition for the head alpha to cresten the child by blessing them underneath the moon and wrapping the ceremonial bracelet around his arm.” Namjoon continues to explain but Yeonjun’s ears are ringing and there’s an itch underneath his skin. 

He gulps as his eyes focus and unfocus, his breaths becoming audible and heavy. He feels a hand land on his shoulder and he slowly turns to look at a blurry Soobin, feeling fatigued. 

“Are you okay, Yeonjunnie?” Soobin asks, but his voice sounds broken as his hearing goes in and out. 

Yeonjun can’t even respond, his tongue feels like it’s made of lead, too heavy to pick up so he can’t reply properly. He only manages to shake his head. There’s a sudden pulling at his body, an internal tugging and for some reason, he tips his head upwards, looking directly at the full moon. 

His eyes widen while it happens, before the pain registers and he’s screaming, _screeching_ in agony. His spine snaps in half and his back crooks at the break, then the rest of his bones break, but it’s too much, the pain is too excruciating and he can’t handle it. _It’s too much, it’s too much, it’stoomuchit’stoomuchit’s-_

The dark takes over. 

+++

_Yeonjun wakes up at a waterfall with a vague familiarity to it. He can’t see the water, but he can hear it, hear it falling down and slapping harshly against the water pooled at the bottom. He can see trees above him and a blue sky, fluffy clouds sporadically spotting the sky._

_Using his arms, Yeonjun rests on his elbows and looks around. Mud, stones, damp earth, grass, trees, water, it’s exactly as he remembers it, the Cheonjiyeon Falls._

_It’s quiet, no birds chirping, no squirrels skittering frantically, rapidly, no whispering winds to rustle the trees and bushes, no insects buzzing or fluttering or croaking. Total silence. Well, except for the waterfall, it couldn’t be quiet if it wanted to._

_Slowly, Yeonjun gets to his feet and walks closer to the water, step by step, drawing nearer and nearer, and when he gets there, he lowers to his knees and looks into the water. He leans down and cups his hands, scooping a handful of the clear water and drinking. He drinks sluggishly, lazily, as if he has all the time in the world to drink from his cupped hands._

_“Yeonjun?” A soft voice calls from behind him. But it’s not normal, it makes Yeonjun shiver, zings of delight zipping down his spine, a divine undertone to the voice._

_He turns and looks at a form made of white light, it’s shaped in the form of a human body, but no specific sex to be assigned to it, no hair, just the figure of a body, heavenly light beaming from each inch on it’s body._

_“Who are you? What are you?” Yeonjun asks, confusion painting over his features._

_“No one knows me by my real name. I go by different forms, different names, I am a supreme being, I am not anything, I just am. To the werewolves, I am the moon goddess.” The voice is mashed together, like someone took a female voice and a male voice and smashed it together in an attempt to make it work no matter what._

_For some odd reason, it doesn’t faze Yeonjun. “Why am I here?”_

_“To talk, to seek answers you wish to find, anything you’d like. Though I must warn, I will give you the answers you need, not the answers you want.” The form warns and walks past Yeonjun, moving forward as if walking but they’re not walking, they’re gliding._

_At the edge of the water, they sit and wait for Yeonjun to join. Yeonjun does sit, he sits down and glances at the divine being. “My parents are werewolves.”_

_“Yes, they are. Born from parents of werewolf descent.”_

_“Why did you take them away?”_

_“I do not interfere with the lives of my creations, I do not interfere with fate and destiny, I bless those because it’s written in the stars, not because they wanted it. I do what I need to do, what destiny wishes me to do, doesn’t matter if they gain or don’t gain, if they benefit or don’t benefit.”_

_“So why was it their time?” Yeonjun’s voice breaks. “Why did they have to die when I was so young? I grew up angry, hateful, vengeful. No one to guide me, no one to love me.” He feels the tears slip past his waterline and fall until it comes crashing down on the skin of his hand._

_“Destiny is fickle, one decision twists and turns, one decision may intertwine destinies, one decision changes everything. Sometimes it’s not your decision, but others.”_

_“But_ why _?” Yeonjun is frustrated and it only pushes more tears down his face._

_“There is no why, Yeonjun, it was their time so they died. Destiny’s will is the will of the universe which I carry out regardless of whether I like it or not.”_

_The being doesn’t have a choice, a lot like how Yeonjun had no choice in carrying out the agency’s mission, to obliterate the werewolves. So he understands, though he doesn’t want to, he understands._

_“How do I live with what I did to all those werewolves?”_

_“What has happened, has happened. All of those killed by your hands may not forgive you no matter how much remorse you show, no matter how much you cry, no matter how much you beg. All you can do is forgive yourself, understand that what you did was the human thing, desperation to survive would make anyone do something they want to believe they wouldn’t do. Werewolf or man, it doesn’t matter.” The being answers, head pointed forward at the waterfall._

_Another question pops in his mind and he already knows the answer to it, but he can’t help but ask. “Will I ever see my parents again?”_

_“I cannot answer that, Yeonjun.”_

_Yeonjun’s brows furrow, the answer is so obvious, why can’t the being answer? “Why not? They’re dead, aren’t they?”_

_“I cannot answer. Patience, Yeonjun, in due time, the answer will reveal itself.”_

_Does that mean there’s a possibility they’re alive? There’s a dangerous glimmer of hope within Yeonjun, but he isn’t sure whether to trust it or not._

_“Should I forgive Soobin?”_

_“You have a bond, a special bond like all soulmates. Weigh your options carefully and methodically, think about the good and the bad, when you're ready, when you’ve decided, it will happen.”_

_Yeonjun’s certain he already knows his decision about what to do with Soobin, he has for a while, ever since the fight began. Yeonjun got more than a second chance, why shouldn’t Soobin get one?_

_“I don’t think I have any more questions.”_

_“Are you sure, Yeonjun? Destiny has sent me to you this one time and I doubt it will ever happen again.” They warn, moving their head like they’re glancing at him._

_“Are the only people that ever loved me my parents and Soobin?”_

_“No, there are more and there will be more.”_

_“Who?”_

_“All in due time, Yeonjun. It’ll come to light eventually. Are you ready to go back now, Yeonjun?”_

_Yeonjun waits, ponders on the question, takes his time, then nods. “Yeah, I’m ready.”_

_The heavenly form stands and Yeonjun stands with them. “Walk into the water and submerge yourself completely with your eyes closed. When you open your eyes again, you will be back.”_

_“One last question, what if I’m not good enough?” Yeonjun feels the sticky tear tracks stuck to his cheeks, he stopped crying a bit ago, but the question makes him feel like crying again._

_“As long as you are you, Yeonjun, as long as you love with your whole heart, trust with your whole heart, and stay true to yourself, you will always be enough.” The divine being brings up their hand and draws a circle in the dead center of his forehead. “The circle of life and light. Yeonjun, you are blessed.”_

_Yeonjun takes a deep breath and nods. “Thank you.”_

_“No need to thank me. I’m only carrying out the will of destiny and the universe, child.”_

_“Well, thank you anyway.” Yeonjun turns and begins to walk into the pool of water._

_“Yeonjun,” He looks back at the form, “persevere as you always have, as you always do. Encourage perseverance in yourself and those around you, you will make it through.”_

_Yeonjun only smiles and follows the directions previously given, submerging himself in the water with closed eyes._

+++

Opening his eyes underwater, Yeonjun looks around then swims up as he feels his lungs starting to burn from lack of oxygen. He breaks the surface of the water and gasps for breath, glancing and seeing the edge of the river. He swims against the slight current and makes it to the shore, dragging himself onto the dirt and mud. 

He regains his breath before taking another analytical glance around. Yeonjun sees them, sees all of the wolves from the ceremony, including his own mate, the head alpha and the luna, staring at him with fearful and perplexed gazes. 

Soobin is closer than everyone else and he drops to his knees. Yeonjun looks up at him. “Why is everyone staring at me?”

“You don’t remember?” 

No, actually, Yeonjun doesn’t remember. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this chapter is so long but stuff happens and its funnnn writing this hehe  
> this one has some action to it, so hope everyone liked it!  
> appreciating all the comments and kudos and everyone who reads it, so thanks for that  
> love y'all and stay safeeee <3  
> I also beat my implicit bias on the whole "divine being" thing so way to go me! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	17. Chapter 17

“What do you mean, I don’t remember? What do I not remember?” Yeonjun asks, glancing between Soobin and everyone else. 

Soobin reaches out for Yeonjun and takes in his dripping clothes. “Yeonjun, don’t mess with me, please. Do you seriously not remember what happened when you shifted?” 

Yeonjun shakes his head. “No, I’m not messing with you, Soobin, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeonjun, you attacked me.” Soobin says with hurt prominent in his features. 

“What?” Yeonjun whispers back. “No, I wouldn’t-I wouldn’t attack you, Soobin. Why-why would I attack anyone? You of all people?”

“After you shifted, your eyes were dark red and you just went crazy. You were growling and snarling like crazy, but when we made eye contact, you jumped on me and you were trying to bite me.” Soobin explains.

Bringing a hand up to his head, Yeonjun looks down into the damp soil. “I-I didn’t know...I-I’m s-so sorry, Soobin. I’m sorry, please don’t hate me, I-I didn’t mean to, I never want to hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you.” Yeonjun feels his eyes watering at the thought of Soobin hating him for something he didn’t even know he did. 

“No, no, Yeonjun, it’s okay.” Soobin crawls closer and embraces Yeonjun tightly. “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it.” 

Yeonjun rests his head on Soobin's chest with tears streaming down his face as he scans the faces of the horrified audience. They’re all whispering and glancing at Yeonjun like he’s some kind of monster. He can’t take it, so he closes his eyes. 

“You’re okay, Yeonjunnie. Shh…” Soobin’s hand makes a home for itself in Yeonjun’s wet hair and he scratches lightly at his scalp. “How about we go back to the tent, okay? We-we’ll go back to our tent and we’ll get you dry. Alright, baby, is that alright?” 

Yeonjun manages a nod and Soobin stands before scooping Yeonjun into his arms, carrying him to their tent. Yeonjun can feel the eyes following, can feel them piercing into him. He burrows himself in Soobin’s arms, calming down a bit because of the comforting touch Soobin brings. 

When Soobin gets inside the tent on his knees, he sets Yeonjun down on the animal furs. Yeonjun has barely registered the fact that he’s shivering until Soobin tries to leave. He whines and whimpers while reaching out for him. 

“N-no, S-Soobin, d-don’t leave.”

Soobin cups his cheeks gently and stares deeply into his eyes with sincerity. “I’m going to get you a change of clothes, okay? I’m gonna be right back, mate, I’ll never leave you, I promise.” He plants a soft kiss on his forehead before slowly pulling away and exiting the tent. 

Yeonjun pouts and wraps his arms around his shivering body. There’s no wind outside, but he’s wet and the stagnant air is cool, too cool for someone to be wet. He bites his lip so that his teeth don’t chatter, but he can’t stop the way his body trembles and quakes. 

Soobin is back very soon and the moment he sees Yeonjun in his pitiful state, he gives him a sad, fond smile. “Oh, my baby, it’s gonna be okay,” He crouches down and sets down the pack clothing in his hands as well as the animal hide.

He forces Yeonjun to sit back with his legs stretched out and helps him remove his clothing. Soobin starts with his pants, peeling them off of his legs and using the animal hide to wipe down his damp legs. 

Soobin’s hand slides very close to his sex as he wipes him down and it suddenly reminds Yeonjun of the very explicit moment they shared that one time. He remembers everything he felt, the pleasure that took over his entire being when Soobin brought him to his climax, _everything_. Yeonjun’s cheeks heat up when he notices it and he wills blood to not rush south. 

However, when Soobin pulls down his boxers, Yeonjun feels himself growing hard, his entire face hot and flamed with tomato red, despite the shivering, despite how cold he actually feels, Yeonjun is already half hard. Risking a glance at Soobin, he catches his smirk as he dries his private area then slips on the bottom part of the clothing while Yeonjun holds himself up. 

Soobin crawls behind Yeonjun, hooking his hands on the fabric of his shirt and pulling it off of Yeonjun’s upper body. “You’re so adorable, Yeonjun - oh my god,” He states abruptly. 

“What? What is it?” Yeonjun looks over his shoulder at Soobin. 

A hand runs down his spine smoothly and Yeonjun shivers without noticing what Soobin is doing. He rubs a flat palm against Yeonjun’s back all over and it’s only then that Yeonjun figures out what's wrong. “Your scars-” 

“They’re gone.” Yeonjun finishes for him, his mouth agape in shock. 

“How is it…” Soobin runs his fingers over the place where Yeonjun’s biggest scars, the ones from the whip, used to be. “How are they gone?” 

“The moon goddess,” Yeonjun murmurs quietly, but Soobin hears him. 

“What do you mean, Yeonjun?” 

“Well, I had a dream after I shifted, the moon goddess came to me.” 

Soobin chuckles. “You must’ve really been dreaming there, Yeonjunnie.” 

“No, I-I’m serious, Soobin,” He turns and looks Soobin in the eye, trying to convey the genuine truth. “The moon goddess told me things because I asked, the moon goddess let me ask. They answered.”   
  
“They? I’m pretty sure the moon goddess is a singular woman?” 

“No, they’re not. They’re a supreme being that doesn’t identify in any way, no he or her. If you heard they’re voice and you saw them, you wouldn’t be saying that. Soobin, I promise you, I’m telling the truth. While I was shifting and my wolf was going crazy, they came to me because the universe willed it.” Yeonjun moves closer to Soobin and grips his shoulders. 

Soobin brings a hand up with a concerned smile, resting it on top of Yeonjun’s head. “Did you hit your head when you jumped in the water?” 

Yeonjun whines. “Soobin, I’m serious. I met them. I did, you have to believe me! I wouldn’t lie to you, especially since I wasn’t even sure I believed in any God or whatever. They-they told me things, about my parents, about you. They weren’t exactly...direct, but they implied that my parents might still be alive.” 

“Yeonjun, I think you…” Soobin sighs, glances away for a moment, “I think your dream is exactly what you said it was, a dream.”

“You don’t believe me?” Yeonjun’s expression becomes one of discouragement, but then his eyebrows furrow. “Well, I-I don’t need you to believe me, I’ll prove it to you, I’ll prove it to you by finding my parents.” Yeonjun moves away from Soobin and covers himself, wrapping his arms around his stomach. 

“Baby, it sounds crazy, but I know you wouldn’t lie to me. Just please answer me this question, do you truly believe that dream was real?” He moves closer to Yeonjun and turns him around, pulling him into his arms. 

“I do, Soobin, I really do.” Yeonjun looks up at him, letting Soobin hold him. 

Soobin stares deeply into his eyes and nods. “Okay, Yeonjunnie, I believe you.” 

“Really? You believe me?” Yeonjun’s lips twitch upwards at Soobin’s words. 

The alpha nods and smiles at him. “I do, Yeonjun, I really do believe you. Might be hard to wrap my mind around, but I will eventually.” 

Yeonjun smiles back and hugs Soobin tightly, relishing in his warmth. He pulls back and looks up at Soobin, noticing how close they actually are when he does. He can’t stop his eyes from wandering over Soobin’s gentle features, taking in the way his lips part, how his cheeks look ultra soft, his eyes slightly droopy but swirling with fondness. 

Yeonjun doesn’t think in the moment, he only follows his natural instincts, his eyes settling on his plush lips and the next thing he knows, he’s kissing Soobin. It’s a peck, an innocent brushing over lips, but it’s enough to have Soobin pulling him back in for more. 

Soobin tilts Yeonjun’s head to the side and kisses him deeply, lips firmly pressed against Yeonjun’s and Soobin’s hands come up to his face, cupping his cheeks, caressing gingerly with his thumbs, pulling apart with a small, slick noise. 

  
Their foreheads touch, Yeonjun’s eyes are still closed, but he can feel Soobin’s eyes roam over his face, can feel how they glide over his skin and linger on different parts, his eyes, his nose, his lips. He basks in the moment, feels his lips tingle because of Soobin’s lips and inhales deeply so he can catch the delightful smell coming from Soobin.

Eventually, he opens his eyes and makes eye contact with Soobin, diving into the brown pools surrounding his pupils. Soobin speaks quietly, “That-that is how a first kiss should happen.”

Yeonjun smiles and chuckles, “I really liked that.” 

“I bet you did,” Soobin agrees, smiling and leaning down to peck him really quickly, “let’s get your shirt on. You’re dry now.” 

Soobin bends down, grabs the top part of the pack clothing and pulls it over Yeonjun’s head, covering his upper body mostly. “There you go, mate. Be careful, you’re starting to look like one of us.” 

Yeonjun laughs and glances down, reaching up to his cheek where a spot matching Soobin’s should be. “Do I have the little scar? From shifting?” 

Soobin picks up his hand and brushes a thumb over where Yeonjun’s fingers are skimming. “Yeah. It makes you look even more beautiful.” 

“I’m doing it, Soobin, I’m becoming a part of the pack, just like we wanted.” Yeonjun moves his hand to place it on top of Soobin’s. 

Shifting his eyes to his feet then back to Yeonjun’s eyes, Soobin’s smile dims a bit. “I’m sorry, Yeonjun, about the question and what I implied.” 

“It’s okay, Soobin, I forgive you, I’m not mad anymore. I know you didn’t mean it.”

“It’s not okay, I had a doubt, but I could’ve corrected myself because I know better, I know better than to doubt my own mate and you’ve more than proven yourself to me. You didn’t even need to prove yourself, I’ve supported you without even knowing you and yet now I make the dumb decision to doubt you? I’m sorry. 

“You deserved - _deserve_ \- better than that, especially as my mate. I’ll do better, Yeonjun, I promise. I love you, and I’m sorry I ever hurt you.” Soobin apologizes profusely, even after Yeonjun had forgiven him.

Yeonjun leans up and kisses the corner of his mouth, then moves over a little and gives him a delicate kiss on his lips. “Just keep your promise and everything will be fine.” 

Soobin nods. “I will, Yeonjunnie. I will.”

Their lips meet again and Yeonjun can’t help but feel like he could get used to this very quickly. 

+++

_“Hello?” Yeonjun walks through the camp, looking around, searching for familiar faces, hell, any faces at all. But no ones around._

_It’s day time, mid-day, yet there are no kids around, no teenagers, no parents, no grandparents, there’s no one here. The forest is consumed in absolute silence, no birds, no rushing water, no squirrels, no rustling leaves, no wildlife and no nature._

_Yeonjun looks at the river, it’s completely still. No movement whatsoever, what used to rush, what used to make constant noise, never stopping, practically unstoppable, is now stopped, now lacks movement of any kind._

_“Hello!?” Yeonjun yells louder, turning in a circle to see if he can spot anyone or anything. “Is anyone here?”_

_He turns around and goes back to his and Soobin’s tent, his eyes quickly scanning his surroundings, checking to see if he’ll catch any movement out of the corner of his eyes, hoping to see even the smallest living creature._

_Yeonjun storms to the tent and yanks back one of the flaps, but there’s nothing inside, only the animal hides reside in the corner, sitting pathetically. No Soobin smiling up at him, no Soobin sleeping peacefully, no Soobin to invite him in with open arms._

_Yeonjun spins around, letting the flaps fall into place, gazing at all the other tents with reality dawning on him. He frowns and proceeds to check every tent, peeking inside in an attempt to prove himself wrong._

_After checking each and every tent, Yeonjun falls to his knees, heart pounding, tears pushing at his eyes, hands trembling as he finally figures out the truth despite the fact that he already knew._

_Yeonjun is completely alone._

_But then he catches the slightest bit of movement, out of the corner of his eye, at first he thinks he made it up, but then it happens again and he turns his head that way, looking at Soobin’s back as he walks away._

_Scrambling up to his feet, Yeonjun runs after him. “Soobin!” Soobin doesn’t turn around. “Soobin! Soobin, I’m here! I’m right here!” Yeonjun has to clamp his hand down on Soobin’s shoulder and force him to turn around to get him to stop and face him. “Soobin?” He questions in confusion as he pants lightly._

_“Don’t touch me.” Soobin pushes his hand off, his eyes bored and looking everywhere but Yeonjun as if he’s uninterested._

_“What?”_

_“Look, Yeonjun, you were fun while it lasted, but you attacked me and would’ve killed me if I didn’t throw you off. I’m done, you’re too much of a burden. I’m finding another mate and I’m rejecting you.” Soobin says, staring Yeonjun dead in the eyes._

_Yeonjun feels his resolve crumble. “W-what? No, no, you can’t do that, p-please don’t, don’t leave me, Soobin. I did it all for you, I did it for you, I-I changed, I gave up hunting, I gave up everything I knew for you! Please don’t do this to me! Please, don’t leave me, I don’t have anything else, I don’t have anyone but you.” Tears charge full speed ahead, unyielding despite Yeonjun’s wishes._

_“I’m really glad you changed, Yeonjun, it’s for the better. But I can’t deal with you, it’s too much and you’re not enough. I’m sorry it has to be this way, but I can’t keep doing this with you. It’s going nowhere and I was wrong, we aren’t made for each other.” Soobin just...shrugs, all he does is shrug carelessly and then attempts to walk away._

_Yeonjun grabs his arm and yanks his back. “Soobin, please don’t do this, please. We-we are made for each other, we are soulmates. We’re meant to be, you-you said it was destiny.”_

_“I was wrong. Sorry.” Soobin takes his arm back and walks away from Yeonjun, walks away from him forever._

_Yeonjun slowly drops down onto the ground, shaking and sobbing with his head down, defeated, sad, and alone like he’s always been. His head shoots up when he thinks of the words that might change Soobin’s mind, “Soobin, I lov-” He cuts himself off because Soobin is nowhere in sight._

_He’s gone, just like everybody else. Soobin’s gone._

+++

“Yeonjun, baby, calm down, it’s okay, I’m right here.” Soobin says to him calmly as he cries and sobs into his chest. “What did you dream about? What was it this time?” 

Yeonjun can’t speak, he’s crying too hard. His chest hurts from how hard he’s sobbing and his heart aches from the remnants of the dream. He grips onto Soobin tighter, stays close because he doesn’t want Soobin to leave him like he did in his dream.

“Oh, my sweet mate, what’s wrong?” Soobin coos, looking down at him and wiping away the tears as best he can. “What’s wrong, Yeonjunnie?” 

He whimpers and buries his head in Soobin’s chest, takes deep breaths of his natural scent, and it helps to calm him down a little bit, but not enough to talk. Yeonjun closes his eyes and switches his attention to anything outside of his thoughts like the soothing hand rubbing against his back in hypnotizing circles. 

Eventually, he’s able to get the tears to stop and breathe properly, hugging Soobin close to him. Soobin focuses on calming him down because he stops asking him what’s wrong, and starts coddling and doting on him with reassurances. He releases some pheromones into the air at one point, helping Yeonjun to loosen up and relax from his tense state. 

“Are you ready to tell me, Yeonjun?” Soobin cups his cheek and caresses it with his thumb. 

“I-I had a dream that I-I was all a-alone in the camp. When I found you, you said you didn’t want me and that I was too much to handle but not enough to keep.” Yeonjun pouts and wipes at his cheeks. 

Soobin’s eyes widen in alarm. “You know that’s not true, Yeonjun, I wouldn’t ever leave you. I love you too much and you are more than worth it. You deserve so much and your past is not your fault, I can handle you just fine, you’ll always be more than enough for me.” He strokes Yeonjun’s cheek with the pad of his thumb and leans down, kissing Yeonjun on the forehead.

“P-Promise?” Yeonjun whispers, looking at Soobin with slight concern in his eyes. 

“I promise, Yeonjun. I won’t ever leave you,” Soobin kisses him on the lips like he’s sealing the promise and Yeonjun feels thoroughly reassured. “Do you wanna start the day now?” 

“It’s morning?” Yeonjun moves his head up and peaks above Soobin’s shoulder. Through the entrance flaps, little beams of light shine through to Yeonjun’s utter surprise. 

Soobin chuckles softly and plants a soft kiss on his temple. “You probably didn’t notice when you woke up, but yes, it’s morning time. I actually wanna try something today.”   
  
“Try what?” Yeonjun asks. 

“I want you to shift again.” Soobin says seriously. 

“You want me to shift again? But last time I tried to hurt you, what if it happens again?” 

“We’ll do it by the river, if I have to, I’ll throw you in and try to shock you out of it.” 

Yeonjun’s skeptical. “Are you sure about this, Soobin?” 

“Yes, but I have a feeling you’re not going to attack me. I think you’ll be in control this time.” 

“And if you’re wrong?”  
  


“I’ll do what I said,” Soobin presses another kiss to his forehead, “I’ll throw you in the river.” 

Yeonjun sighs. “Okay, we can try, if you say so.” 

“Let’s go get some berries, yeah?” When Yeonjun agrees, they both get up and head out of the tent. 

The camp isn’t completely awake yet, it’s still kind of early and the sun just finished rising. Some wolves are walking around, a mother with her toddler, a man talking to another man as they make their way towards the river, a teenager sitting in front of her tent and weaving a basket with a handle. 

Yeonjun and Soobin make their way to their usual spot, the fresh air helping to clear Yeonjun’s mind. He takes a couple deep breaths and feels as the crisp, clean air coats his lungs soothingly, watching the morning sun cover the landscape with bright light. 

Soobin, like he usually does, picks berries off and eats them while Yeonjun collects a handful before eating. When Soobin’s done picking off a bush, he walks over to Yeonjun. “You know, I noticed something.” 

“What did you notice?” Yeonjun asks while Soobin takes a berry from Yeonjun’s hand and feeds it to him. 

“This is the first dream you’ve had that isn’t a memory, though you still had a nightmare.” Soobin looks concerned as he continues to feed Yeonjun berries. 

“You’re right though. I guess my brain is getting creative with ways to torture me.” Yeonjun shrugs, eating the berry Soobin feeds him. 

They finish quickly and then they head over to an isolated part of the forest right next to the river so they can test out Yeonjun’s ability to control himself in wolf form. Learning from the agency and the werewolves, he’s never remembered hearing anything about a wolf losing control unless they’ve lost their mates and become rogue, even then, it doesn’t always happen to the widows or widowers, so Yeonjun’s not sure what’s wrong with him or his wolf. 

“Okay, go ahead.” Soobin steps back and looks pointedly at Yeonjun. “You might wanna shed your clothes.” 

Yeonjun feels embarrassment flame his cheeks, but he does so. Right as he starts stripping, he remembers something about his first shift. “Wait,” he stops, “when I first shifted, my clothes were still completely intact, like pants and shirt and everything, nothing ripped, not even a hole.” 

Soobin’s eyebrows furrow. “Yeah...you’re right. When I pulled you from the river, your clothes were still on and you weren’t naked at all. I didn’t think about that.” 

“Maybe it was the moon goddess, they kept my clothes like that.” Yeonjun blinks and looks down at his arm. “Just like they took away my scars.” 

“Well, for the scars, it might just be your werewolf side coming in, you know, healing you.” Soobin jumps in. 

“But why wouldn’t they heal properly the moment my wolf was awakened by you? I could smell better, see better, hear better, but the healing abilities didn’t come until now? It doesn’t make much sense.” Yeonjun reasons, hoping Soobin will see his side. 

Soobin purses his lips. “That theory is looking a little less crazy, but just to be safe, you should strip and shift like that.” 

Yeonjun laughs a little bit, but agrees and starts slipping off the cloths. “Fine, but I think it’s because you want to see me naked,” He teases Soobin, but it backfires seeing as Yeonjun’s cheeks heat up before he even has the chance to finish undressing. 

Soobin smirks at him. “It could be an ulterior motive.” 

“I knew it.” 

“I said it _could_.” 

“Right.” Yeonjun rolls his eyes and finishes stripping. 

“Go ahead and shift, mate.” 

Yeonjun takes a deep breath and internally says, _shift, shift, shift_ , over and over again, he closes his eyes too, concentrating on trying to get his body to shift into his werewolf form. 

“Any day now, mate.”

With a frustrated sigh, Yeonjun opens his eyes and glares at Soobin. “I’m trying,” He whines. 

“Do you know how to shift?” 

“...Not really.” 

“Close your eyes,” Soobin instructs and Yeonjun obeys, “now I want you to relax and visualize your body shifting into the body of a wolf. Imagine the way your bones will break and reassemble in minutes, how fur will sprout in place of bare skin, the way you’ll be close to the ground.” 

Yeonjun feels it, he feels it coming, the shift. There’s a rattling in his bones, a slight ache from the memory and then it happens. Seconds, it's only a few quick seconds, but Yeonjun feels it, feels everything, the way his anatomy changes, how his bones break and fix themselves lightning quick, how he grows shorter, smaller, his organs moving uncomfortably. 

There’s an intense soreness in Yeonjun’s body, but the moment he opens his eyes, everything is different and he sees that he did it. He’s also in complete control, which is good. 

He looks around at the world, it’s different. The trees are bigger, the grass is closer to his face, he feels warmer, the air isn’t as cool, he’s even more sensitive to sounds as well as scents, telling by the fact that Soobin smells absolutely delectable, the bitter sweet vanilla bean is very strong. 

“Yeonjun?” 

Yeonjun turns his head towards the voice and his eyes land on Soobin’s legs so he looks up at him with his head tilted to the side. He tries to speak but only a small yip comes out as a reminder that he can’t talk. 

Soobin smiles at him. “You did, Yeonjunnie! You shifted _and_ you’re still in control!” 

Yeonjun gets excited at Soobin’s smile and barks, scaring himself and jumping back. “Come here, boy.” Yeonjun looks back at Soobin and cautiously begins to step forward until he’s used to lifting his paws and using them all at the same time. 

He makes his way over and Soobin puts his hand out. Yeonjun sniffs it then pushes his head into Soobin’s hand, feeling it run through his hair. “You’re wolf form is so cute, Yeonjun. You’re smaller than I thought you would be, even though this is about the average size of an omega.” 

Soobin cups his wolf head and presses a kiss onto the top of his head. “Your fur is beautiful, it’s a black coat, your eyes are dark brown, and if I shifted, you would fit perfectly into my side.” He scratches somewhere behind Yeonjun’s ear and Yeonjun decides he likes it while unconsciously leaning into it. 

“Can you let your wolf have control? I haven’t gotten to meet him properly yet.” Soobin asks. 

_Gladly,_ his omega suddenly perks up and it’s a weird feeling, almost like someone is physically pushing him back, and he can’t move or anything, he’s just there, existing, waiting to take it back. 

His wolf barks and rolls over onto his back belly up with his tongue hanging out. “Awe, hey, there little omega,” Soobin rubs his belly and the wolf loves it, “oh, what beautiful eyes, omegan blue.” 

The omega excitedly wags his tail, yipping happily and wiggling while Soobin continues to pet him lovingly. “Who’s a good boy?” Soobin asks him. 

Yeonjun listens to his omega reply eagerly, _I am! I am!_ which only turns into him yapping loudly at Soobin. Yeonjun likes the interaction, sees how utterly adorable his mate is with his wolf. He wonders how the omega would react to Soobin’s alpha. 

“Would you like to meet my wolf, omega? Your alpha?” Soobin questions like he just read Yeonjun’s mind. He’ll have to ask if werewolves can really do that, if they can actually read each other's minds. 

Yeonjun’s wolf barks at Soobin in agreement. Flipping over and wagging his tail impatiently, the omega nips at Soobin’s hand repeatedly, _please! I wanna meet him, I wanna meet my mate!_

“Okay, okay, hold on there, pup,” Soobin agrees and his eyes glaze over for a second before they glow bright red.

His demeanor changes, his soft features don’t turn hard exactly, but they turn rough and prideful, it gives Soobin a more serious look than Yeonjun or his wolf have ever seen. He sits straighter, holds himself in an almost arrogant and cocky way, the complete opposite of Soobin. Soobin hunches over like he thinks he’s too tall, and he’s humble, smiles at everyone, respectful and kind to everyone and everything. 

Soobin’s alpha smirks down at Yeonjun’s omega, the omega flipping onto his side in a sign of submission. The alpha raises a hand and pets the omega’s head down to his neck, stroking the fur with a surprisingly gentle hand. “Hi, my little omega. You’re so cute,” his voice is the slightest bit deeper than Soobin’s too. 

The omega whines and pushes his head into his hand. “You’re basically begging me to mark you, omega.” 

Those words only make his omega whine as well, and he replies internally with, _yes, alpha, please!_

The alpha’s eyes glaze over for a second before a frown takes over his lips and he’s back to petting the omega. “But I won’t, he won’t let me, threatening to take control away if I try. But later, I’ll mark you with my wolf once he allows it. Patience, my little one.” 

His omega licks at his hand and wrist, getting up and pushing his body up against Soobin’s human body. He rubs into his chest before settling down, curls up his body and cuddles close, the alpha cooing at him, calling him cute, complimenting him. Yeonjun’s omega is eating it up. 

“Alpha will never let anything happen to you, omega. I love you,” The alpha scrunches up his nose cutely, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

_I love you too, alpha,_ his omega replies, snuggling into him more. 

“We should give back control, now, my little omega, okay?” The alpha says and Yeonjun’s omega picks up his head and yips his answer. “Good boy. Until next time, my mate.” 

The omega replies internally, communicating his love through his gaze and bark, _Until next time, alpha._

Soobin and Yeonjun are given back control and Yeonjun shifts back to his human form, another couple of seconds and a sore neck, he’s stretching his back. He looks at Soobin. “I felt it, Soobin, I felt their connection, _our_ connection.” 

Soobin smiles softly and cups Yeonjun’s cheeks. “I love you so much, Yeonjunnie.” He kisses his lips firmly. “Now maybe you’d like to get dressed so we could go back to the village. Maybe drop by and visit Taehyun, Beomgyu, and the baby, yeah?” 

Yeonjun nods and leans in to kiss Soobin once again, ignoring the red staining his cheeks about his blatant nakedness. “Yeah, I like that idea.” 

“I’ll get your clothes.” Soobin whispers to him, kissing his red cheek one more time before pulling away and getting up. 

Yeonjun covers himself, Soobin fetching his clothes, and goes over the previous conversation his omega and Soobin’s alpha had. They mentioned something about marking and Yeonjun’s curious, he would ask his omega but he’s sulking in the back of Yeonjun’s mind, sad that he didn’t get to have control for longer. 

When Soobin comes back and gives Yeonjun his clothing, Yeonjun decides to ask. “What was your alpha talking about?” Yeonjun can recall a brief mention of marking in his classes back at the agency, but they never went into detail about it. “He said something about marking?” 

“Do you wanna know what it is?” 

“Yeah, they mentioned it in my lesson at the agency, but I never learned what exactly it is.” Yeonjun pulls on the bottoms and then pulls on the top, standing up with Soobin’s help. 

“Well, marking is what will bond us forever. You can still reject me as long as you’re unmarked, but you can’t when marked. It’s basically like getting married except we stay together for the rest of our lives, you bearing my mark, and me bearing yours. It’s that type of commitment.” Soobin holds him close. “Go visit our friends now? I’ll invite Hyuka too?” 

“One more question.” 

“Shoot.”

“I heard something about werewolves reading each other’s minds?” Yeonjun questions. 

“Only mates can and that’s after they mark each other. Now only us, but our wolves too.” Soobin explains to him. 

“Oh, okay. Now, we can go.” 

Yeonjun and Soobin walk back to camp, it hasn’t been too long since they’ve been awake and out, but it’s late enough for at least Huening Kai to be awake, Soobin mentioned he was an early bird, they’ll just have to check to see if Taehyun and Beomgyu are awake as well. 

They’re heading towards Soobin’s parent’s tent when the screams of little children sound and the orphans from the orphan tent come running out, all of them itching their bodies except for one. Even the adult that watched over them came out itching and scratching all over her body. 

People come running out of their tents at the screams, whines, and whimpers of the little orphans, who are itching as red splotches start covering their arms. Even the alpha and luna come out with their cranky baby, throwing a fit in Seokjin’s arms at being woken up. 

Yeonjun spots Miyeon and sees how distressed she is and calls her over. “Miyeon, Miyeon!” She looks his way, pouting with teary eyes, “Come here, Miyeon, come here, please!” 

Dropping to his knees, Yeonjun catches her in a hug once she listens and runs over. “Miyeon, are you okay?” 

“I-I’m okay, b-but th-they’re not!” She cries into his shoulder.

“Miyeon, look, I know you’re upset right now, but I need you to tell me everything you can, okay? Do you remember anything? Did anyone touch you?” Yeonjun asks her, pulling her back to look at her little face. 

“N-No! I-I just woke up and they were itching like crazy! I swear, Yeonjun, that-that’s all I know!” She cries a little bit more and pouts. “I-I want Taehyung!” 

“Okay, Miyeon, I’ll take you to Taehyung-” 

“Poison Oak!” Yoongi, the right hand to the luna, comes out. He glances down at his ankle. “It smells like it and my ankle brushed against the animal fur on the floor. It’s covered in it. I started itching before I realized what it was.” 

Yeonjun rubs Miyeon’s back gently after listening to Yoongi’s announcement. “Let’s go find Taehyung, come on, Soobin.” Yeonjun stands, grabs Miyeon and Soobin’s hands and heads for Taehyung who’s right across the camp, past where the nurses are shepherding the other six orphans as well as the female guardian into the nursing tent to treat them. 

Yeonjun passes by the crowd of people to get to Taehyung but as he keeps going, he sees how many people are staring at him, their eyes accusing, glaring daggers at him like they think - _no_ , like they _know_ he did it. 

Yeonjun ignores them for now, but feels like he may come to regret it later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, hope you liked this chapter and are looking forward to other ones i will be writing  
> I liked interacting with you guys one twitter, you know who you are, it was cool  
> thank you for the comments, kudos, and just reading in general  
> stay safe and enjoy summer while it lasts bc school is rapidly approaching unfortunately (at least for me that is :'( )  
> bye bye for now!! <3
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	18. Chapter 18

“Tae Tae!” Miyeon says as they approach Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook, the alpha hugging his two omega mates. 

Taehyung breaks away at the sight of Miyeon. “Miyeonie, baby girl, you didn’t get it on you?” 

Miyeon shakes her head as Taehyung scoops her up in his arms. “No, I-I was the only one that wasn’t on a mat with the stuff on it.” She holds onto him tightly.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that, Miyeon,” Taehyung pets her hair back gently. 

Yeonjun and Soobin come up in front of Taehyung. “Hey, Taehyung.” Yeonjun greets. 

“Hey, guys. I can’t believe this is happening, someone targeting the children like this with poison oak! My poor orphans,” Taehyung glances at the nurses tent where he can still hear the whines and whimpers of the children. 

“Which reminds me,” Jimin says from behind Taehyung, “I have to get to work, they probably want all hands on deck right now,” He turns, kisses Jungkook, gives Taehyung a kiss on the cheek, ruffles Miyeon’s hair, and rushes over to the doctor’s tents. 

“I wonder who would go to all this trouble,” Jungkook moves to stand next to Taehyung, “first the four poisoned wolves, then a baby missing for a bit, and now putting poison oak on children?” 

“It’s crazy,” Soobin speaks for the first time, “the poor children, I just...wonder why Miyeon’s mat didn’t have any of the poison oak on it.” 

“The person who did this is a big meanie! I-I’ll fight him!” Miyeon shouts with her face scrunched up and red. 

Taehyung pets back her hair in an attempt to calm her down. “No, beautiful, you can’t fight him.” He speaks calmly and pushes a finger between her furrowed eyebrows so she’ll stop creating lines. 

“B-but why not!?” She whines, her face unscrunching and her lips pouting. 

“Because you’re too small, Miyeonie, they could hurt you really badly and the last thing I want to see is you getting hurt.” Taehyung rubs her back to get her to calm down, resting Miyeon on his hip. 

Miyeon huffs. “I’m a big girl! He won’t hurt me! I’ll hurt him!” 

“Nice try, baby girl, but you can’t. Answer is still no.” Taehyung tells her.

Miyeon huffs once more and crosses her arms. “I’m not a baby.” She mutters while pouting. 

“It’s okay, whoever is doing this is going to be found and punished properly. There’s no need for you to stoop down to their level, Miyeonie.” Taehyung kisses her temple. 

Miyeon grumbles under her breath, resting her head on Taehyung’s shoulder gently. 

“I hope they find this person soon,” Yeonjun says, but he can feel the accusatory glares on his back, the suspicious glances at him. 

“Me too, this is crazy…” Soobin comments, “Do you think the alpha will force us back into the tents again?”

“I’m not sure,” Taehyung replies, “but if he does, you’re coming with me, Miyeon. In fact, you’ll be staying with us tonight, me, you, and my mates.”

“A sleepover?” Miyeon exclaims excitedly, her jaw dropped in a big smile. 

Taehyung boops her on the nose. “Exactly right, beautiful.”    
  
Miyeon gasps and cheers, though Yeonjun can see Jungkook’s slight disagreement, but he doesn’t say anything. “I love sleepovers! I’ve only been to one before and the girl was mean to me, but I still had a good time because we watched Pororo!”

“Well, we are absolutely delighted to have you over, right, Kookie?” Taehyung glances at his mate’s skeptical face and when he doesn’t respond, he nudges him in the ribs with a sharp elbow. “I said,  _ right _ , Jungkook?” 

Jungkook winces but plasters on a smile for Miyeon while rubbing his ribs. “Yes, we are so excited to have you with us for this  _ one _ night.” 

“See? It’s gonna be great.” Taehyung rubs her side and brushes some hair out of her eyes. Miyeon nods with wide eyes and a wide grin adorning her face. 

Yeonjun tries to listen to what Miyeon says, but the stares are starting to overwhelm him and he just wants to get out of the public eye. He can’t focus because he feels all of the penetrative gazes reaching in as if they have the right to do so when looking for who did all this. It’s obvious as to why they’re suspecting him, but Yeonjun can’t take it. 

If this were really the agency, they would’ve killed them all, including Yeonjun, they’ve never stopped by and tortured a pack before killing them, especially since there are too many risks involved. So it can’t be them. It’s not Yeonjun since he, with the mentality the agency gave him, would have figured out a way to escape and go back to the agency, facing his punishment, or figure out how to kill them all at once, like he was supposed to in the beginning. 

It wouldn’t make sense for him to start terrorizing them when he was a ruthless killer before, so there really is no connection to himself. Plus he’s been with Soobin the whole time, so he has a witness. Though it wouldn’t be a surprise if the pack convinced themselves it was Yeonjun because, as he said before, logic is thrown out when fear arrives. 

“Yeonjun, you okay?” Soobin places a hand on his shoulder, breaking him out of his thoughts. 

Yeonjun blinks and shakes his head to break himself out of the haze. “Yeah, I-I’m fine.”

Soobin cups his cheek, “Are you sure, baby?” 

“Mhm...um, actually, I was just thinking about going to visit Taehyun, you know, check on him to make sure they’re all okay.” 

Soobin nods, “Okay, you wanna go now?” 

“Yeah, yeah, we can-we can go now. Let’s go.” Yeonjun takes a glance around, meeting some of the eyes that look away like they weren’t doing anything. He looks back at Taehyung, Miyeon, and Jungkook. “We’re gonna head over to Taehyun’s, we’ll see you guys later.” He waves at them while Soobin says his own goodbyes, then they walk away. 

They amble over to Taehyun and Beomgyu’s tent, about to announce their arrival when the head alpha’s right hand, Hoseok, if Yeonjun remembers correctly, approaches them. 

“Hey, Soobin.” He says. 

Both Yeonjun and Soobin turn around and Soobin smiles at him. “Hey, Hobi, what’s up?” 

Hoseok, with a ten thousand watt smile, replies, “The alpha wants us to go check out the perimeter.” It dims down a bit as he continues, “He wants to see if we can find any clues as to who did this.”

“Oh, really?” Soobin glances at Yeonjun, “Who else is going?” 

“You know, the usual, Jungkook and his hunters, and me, of course. I was also going to ask Beomgyu, but I know his mate just had a baby. Could you ask him for me anyway?” 

“Yeah, I’ll ask him and we’ll catch up with you guys, just give me a minute .” Hoseok nods in acknowledgement and walks away while Soobin turns to Yeonjun. “Will you be okay without me, Yeonjun? You seem to have a lot on your mind.” 

Yeonjun reaches and grabs Soobin’s hand while nodding. “Yeah, I’ll be alright. I’ve got Taehyun anyway, we can keep each other company if Beomgyu decides to go.” 

“Alright, baby. If you say so, let me ask Beomgyu and then I’ll go.” 

“Hey,” Yeonjun says through the crack in the flaps. 

“Come in,” Taehyun calls and Yeonjun and Soobin listen. 

They enter and Yeonjun situates himself in a spot next to Taehyun while Soobin speaks. “Beomgyu, alpha wants us to check the camp perimeters with the others. You can say no, he’ll understand.” 

“I don’t think-” Beomgyu starts to deny while glancing at Taehyun, who’s holding their baby girl. 

“He’ll go.” Taehyun answers for him. 

Beomgyu looks at his mate like he’s crazy, “What? No, I’m not, I-I have to take care of you and Hyejin, I don’t want to leave you-” 

“You’re growing restless in here, Beommie. You’re practically itching to get outside. You deserve to go out for a bit, shift and enjoy the time out.” Taehyun raises a hand and gently rests it on Beomgyu’s cheek. “I’m not strong enough yet so I can’t go out, but you can. Just because I can’t doesn’t mean you can’t. I know you want to.” 

“But I don’t want to leave you alone with the baby,” Beomgyu tries to protest.   
  
“I won’t be alone. I’ll have Yeonjun, right?” Taehyun glances at Yeonjun, who smiles and nods at him. “He’ll help me look after her and we’ll keep each other company while you two are gone.” 

Beomgyu looks between Taehyun and Yeonjun. “I don’t know, Hyunnie, I-” 

“I trust him, Beomgyu, and if I really needed protecting, Yeonjun’s fully capable of keeping me safe. So go, I’m not asking, I’m telling,  _ go _ .” Taehyun leans forward and kisses Beomgyu gently, pulling back and whispering, “I’ll be right here when you get back, okay, babe?” 

Beomgyu sighs. “Okay. I love you, Taehyun.” 

Taehyun smiles. “I love you too, Beomgyu.” He looks down at their baby. “You wanna say bye to Daddy?” 

Beomgyu reaches over and pulls the baby from Taehyun’s arms, smiling down at her and giving her a kiss on the forehead. “Oh, I’m not gonna be gone that long, but I’m gonna miss you. I’ll be right back, okay, Hyejin?” The little girl makes a soft noise as if agreeing with him. “That’s my girl. I love you  _ so  _ much.” He gives her one more kiss before handing her back. 

Beomgyu looks at Soobin, “Let’s go.” 

“Okay,” Soobin leans towards Yeonjun and cups his face, “It shouldn’t take too long, okay, mate?” 

Yeonjun nods and smiles at Soobin. “Okay, I’ll see you later.” He leans forward and kisses Soobin tenderly, only for a quick peck, and pulls back because if he didn’t stop then, he probably wouldn’t have let Soobin go.

“Bye.” Then they’re gone, leaving Taehyun and Yeonjun alone. 

“You didn’t get to hold Hyejin last time, do you want to? It would help to give my arms a break,” Taehyun lifts up the awake baby. 

Nerves fill the pit of his stomach as the little girl giggles and wriggles around, but if Yeonjun can hold Miyeon, he can certainly hold a baby, especially one that likes him. 

“Sure, but I’ve never held a baby before.” Yeonjun holds out his arms and waits. 

Taehyun leans forward. “Crook your arm like you see me doing.” Yeonjun bends his arm at the elbow. “I’m going to rest her head there for support and then her body will rest between your arm and your body.” He sets her down gently and Yeonjun is holding her. 

Yeonjun smiles down at the baby. “Hi there.” He gasps at how beautiful her eyes are, how lively they are for a newborn. 

“Werewolf babies grow at a much faster rate than human babies. Hyejin doesn’t need as much support with her head, she can hold it up, but her neck is still too weak for her to hold it for a long time.” Taehyun explains, watching how Hyejin reacts to being held by Yeonjun. 

The little girl seems to love it with the way her eyes widen and she starts smiling, making soft gurgling noises. Yeonjun brings up a finger and caresses her little cheek. “Hello, little Hyejin, what a beautiful baby you are.” He can see Taehyun and Beomgyu in her. “She has your eyes.” 

Taehyun smiles and chuckles. “She does. I’m glad she got something from me.” 

“I bet she’ll get a lot from you. If not in looks, then it has to be personality. And if she has neither, then you could always have another baby.” Yeonjun supplies helpfully. 

“Oh no, not right now, I’m too tired from having one. God, imagine having twins. That must be straight up torture.” 

Yeonjun laughs. “I got to give it to you for even having one.” 

“I love her, but she took a lot of work. She’s only going to be more work now that she’s out, though.” Taehyun sighs and lays back and relaxes. “So, you and Soobin...kissing...on the mouth, that’s new.” 

Yeonjun feels his cheeks heating up in embarrassment and instead of looking at Taehyun, he looks down at the baby girl in his arms, “Yes, it is.” 

Taehyun twists his head to look at Yeonjun. “That’s it? That’s all you have for me?” 

“You were expecting more?” 

“Yes! Obviously! We’re friends, I want to know how it happened. I’ll tell you if you tell me first.” 

Yeonjun shrugs, dragging his fingertip over her little chin. “There’s not much to tell.” 

“I’ll be the judge of that, now spill.” 

“Um, well, Soobin was helping me out of my wet clothes and drying me off, we got really close, I leaned in and kissed him.” 

“Boo!” Taehyun frowns at him. “No way, that can’t be all.” 

“Yep, that’s all. I had finished talking and I saw how close we were to each other. Then we stared at each other and I just...felt like I should kiss him, so I did.” Yeonjun shrugs once more and smiles at the little baby who laughs and smiles right back at him. 

“You know, if you plan on ever becoming a storyteller, throw in more detail.” Taehyun advises, stretching his arms out. 

“Good thing that’s exactly what I don’t plan to be.” Yeonjun scrunches his nose at the tiny baby and Hyejin goes absolutely nuts, laughing her tiny head off and even going as far as to attempt to imitate him. “You’re so cute, and I bet you know it, huh?” He pokes at her little belly, it’s plush and soft like he expected it to be.

A small ache forms in Yeonjun’s chest, he’s remembering all the little babies that could’ve been in those camps, all the little babies he did see in those camps, all the pregnant omegas he saw in them. His smile falls slowly, his mood affecting Hyejin’s because she stops laughing and blinks her innocent eyes at him in confusion. 

“What’s wrong?” Taehyun asks with furrowed brows. 

“Nothing, um, what about your story? What was your first kiss with Beomgyu like?” Yeonjun quickly redirects the conversation to avoid the certain topic Taehyun was pertaining to. 

Taehyun gives him a look with narrowed eyes, but continues with his story. “Well, Beomgyu and I have known each other since we were pups. If I’m talking about the actual first time we kissed, it was after we both shifted and recognized each other as mates. Beomgyu kissed me, but our parents said we were too young, so I don’t count it.

“Since then, I didn’t let Beomgyu kiss me until the right moment. We used to live next to a waterfall, a couple years before you came along. It was me, Beomgyu, Huening Kai, and Soobin, we went there on a hot summer day and we took turns jumping from the top into the pool at the bottom. 

“I was gonna chicken out because it was too high for me, but Beomgyu brought me to the edge, told me how much he believed in me and how brave I am, he kissed me suddenly after that, then proceeded to push me off the edge into the water at the bottom. It was an asshole move, but it was a really good first kiss.” 

The sentiment behind Taehyun's words warms Yeonjun’s heart. “That was a really good story.” 

“And that’s how you tell a story. Take notes, Yeonjun, take notes.” 

Yeonjun laughs and presses his finger to Hyejin’s little nose. “Mentally noted.” The little girl giggles loudly. 

“She really likes you,” Taehyun says. “She hasn’t really taken to anyone except me, Beomgyu, and you. She keeps a straight face like a pro when anyone else is around.”

“But...why? Why does she like me so much?” Hyejin tilts her head up and starts opening and closing her mouth with wide eyes, looking like fish out of water as she tries to catch Yeonjun’s finger. 

“Well, you’re pretty cool when you’re not acting like a pompous asshole, but so is everyone else. I’m not sure. She just...likes who she likes, I guess. She’s a crazy little one.”

Hyejin starts whining while Yeonjun hovers his finger over her face. “What is she doing now?” 

Taehyun glances over. “Is she trying to get your finger?” 

“Yeah.” She wriggles and lifts her little arms, reaching as far as she can but just missing. She clenches and unclenches her fist in grabby hands, whining slightly. 

“She wants to suck on it. She’s either hungry or wants to use it to fall asleep.” Hyejin makes a noise like she’s agreeing with Taehyun. Then she furrows her brows and makes a frustrated noise as if to demand Yeonjun to give her his finger. 

Yeonjun listens to her and lets her grab onto the finger. She shoves it in her mouth and starts suckling on it. Her eyes flutter shut peacefully for a couple seconds, but then she spits it out and cries.    
  
“Yeah, she’s hungry.” Taehyun sits up, “Alright, hand her over.” He stretches out his arms and Yeonjun carefully maneuvers the crying baby into his hands. 

Yeonjun watches while Taehyun puts her down in his lap and grabs the animal hide, propping it over his shoulder as he talks to her. “I know, precious, I know. Give me a second and you can have all the milk your little heart desires.” 

Yeonjun looks away to give Taehyun some privacy. When he hears her crying cease and the sounds of a relieved baby gulping, he looks over at him and the baby hidden under an animal hide. “You look tired.” 

“It’s kind of exhausting when you feed a baby as hungry as this one. And when you have nothing else to do but feed and entertain said baby. I sleep when she sleeps and that’s not very often. I would have Beomgyu take care of her, but she eats a lot and Beomgyu can’t feed her so...yeah.” Taehyun sighs. 

“Sounds like a lot, but I think you’re doing a great job. She looks as happy and healthy as can be.”

Taehyun glances down at her and pats her little stomach gently. “She better be with how much she’s taking from me.” 

“At least she’s cute.” 

“Well, of course she’s cute, Yeonjun, she’s my baby.” 

Yeonjun chuckles. “Right, of course, silly me.” 

“You know, I still wonder why Beomgyu doesn’t trust you.” Taehyun brings up rather abruptly.

“I mean, I can’t blame him, I was rude and I still wanted to...you know, hurt you guys. He has every right to not trust me,” Yeonjun shrugs with a sigh. 

“But he doesn’t even give you a chance! You’ve changed, a lot. You’re way different from how you used to be, Yeonjun, and I’m glad that we’re friends now.” 

“You consider me a friend? Even with all I did before I came here? Even with all the horrible things I’ve done to-” Yeonjun looks at the baby with a forlorn expression. “I’m guilty of a lot of things, and I’ve hurt a lot of werewolves, a lot of people. I don’t think anyone would want to be my friend.” 

Taehyun bites his lip and takes a moment before answering. “As horrible as it sounds for me to say this, that’s your past, I wasn’t there. And I got to know you for who you are, not some brainwashed idiot that tried to kill werewolves. I met him, but I met  _ and _ got to know you.” 

“It haunts me. Everything that I did.” 

“It’s a part of who you are because you have a conscience. The past is the past, it’s going to be the past no matter what you do, so all you can do is ask for forgiveness and move on.” 

Taehyun is blunt and it does hurt to hear his honest words, but he’s right. Yeonjun can’t do anything about it, can’t change what he did because it was a human and nonhuman choice. Him or them, and he chose himself. Lots of others would do it, choose themselves. Werewolf or human or insect or marsupial, it doesn’t matter, when it comes down to life or death, lots would make the same decision Yeonjun made, not everybody can be selfless. 

The agency are bad people and somehow, they must be stopped. Yeonjun doesn’t think he’ll be the one to do it, they’re too powerful, he’d need others, more than just this pack to take them down. But at the moment, he has bigger matters to worry about than the agency, like how he’s going to prove to the pack that he’s willing to be one of them and he truly wants to be a part of the pack. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Yeonjun replies quietly. “I don’t know how to move on.” 

“Accept it.” Taehyun says as he moves Hyejin from under the animal hide, the baby’s eyes closed and mouth still puckered from her feeding. He gently rests her on his shoulder and pats lightly, enough to get her to burp. “Accept that it happened, accept that you did it. It’s hard, it’s not going to be easy, not at all, but you did it and there’s no going back.” 

“Acceptance...got it,” Yeonjun nods, watching as the sleeping baby snores after letting out a gassy burp. 

“You should also be kind to yourself. You’re too hard on yourself. Get to know yourself a little more, know you’ve changed, congratulate yourself for that because it’s not easy to change. Recognize your own efforts to be better and bask in it all you can, because I’m telling you, Yeonjun, you deserve a lot more than you got and a lot more than you think you do.” 

“You’re a really good friend, Taehyun. You’re a really good person too.” 

Taehyun smirks as he cuddles his baby. “Stop it, you flatter me.” He teases and then looks at Hyejin. “Would you like to take a collective nap? Just me, you and Hyejin?” 

“Sure, I got up pretty early this morning, I could use a nap.” Yeonjun readjusts himself and lays down beside Taehyun, staring upwards at the top of the tent. 

“Here, take her,” Taehyun hands Hyejin to Yeonjun and Yeonjun takes her with a look of confusion, “she’ll keep away all the bad dreams.” 

“How did you know I have nightmares?” 

“I didn’t.” 

“Then how did you-” 

“Just a hunch.” 

+++

_ Yeonjun opens his eyes, he’s staring upwards, towards the awake sky. Blue and yellow and white, forming a beautiful atmosphere above him, fighting off the dark and shining with all its power.  _

_ Tranquility swims in his veins, rushes through his arteries, loops through the chambers of his heart. His body is completely relaxed, so relaxed that Yeonjun’s movements feel sluggish and lazy, weighed down by the weight of calm and peacefulness. Stuck to his spot, Yeonjun feels wholesome, stable, no worries to spiral into, no doubts to take him down, no negativity to darken the lightness of the day.  _

_ Yeonjun breathes. Inhales slowly, exhales with all the time in the world, chest expanding towards the sky, collapsing slowly when he lets gravity take over. Finds himself doing it over and over again, relaxing further, almost sinking into the ground, he’s so heavy with serenity.  _

_ Underneath his fingertips is lush green grass tickling, teasing. Fresh earth, fresh soil supports his body, yet conforms to the way it naturally curves. Wind whispers over his face and through his hair. Trees wave their hello to him, animatedly and eagerly. Sounds feed themselves into his ears, traveling up sensitive nerves to trigger the part of himself that will make him sink further into bliss.  _

_ “Yeonjun?” A soft tenor voice calls and it takes Yeonjun effort to open his eyes so he can figure out who it is.  _

_ Soobin hovers above him, his face shadowing over Yeonjun’s because he’s blocking the sun, rays cutting around him and finding their way to the ground eventually. His face is innocent, cute, simply calling to Yeonjun because he can and he wants to.  _

_ Mustering any energy within himself, in a quiet voice, Yeonjun responds, “Yes?”  _

_ “Why are you over here?” Soobin questions, a smile edging its way onto his face, “Silly mate, our friends are over there.” Soobin gestures his head to the side to indicate where they are.  _

_ “Our...friends?” Yeonjun can’t process what Soobin is saying.  _

_ “Yes, our friends, come on.” Soobin sticks out a hand and without a single thought, Yeonjun takes it and he’s being pulled to his feet.  _

_ Soobin steadies Yeonjun carefully. They’re close, so close, Soobin’s nose is about to touch Yeonjun’s. Leaning forward, Yeonjun steals a kiss. It’s a firm kiss, lips on lips, accepting, taking, receiving, no end in sight and yet it ends too soon for Yeonjun.  _

_ “I love you.” Soobin mutters, breathless against his lips. Their noses brush in a small eskimo kiss and Yeonjun revels in the feeling of Soobin so close to him, the feeling of his pillow soft lips, the feeling of his words forcing his heart to race . “Let’s go.”  _

_ Yeonjun is tugged over to the pool of cool water that sits in the field, away from the trees, but close enough to have leaves floating freely. People are in there, friends, laughing, playing around, splashing happily.  _

_ “I found him!” Soobin shouts to the group and they all turn, smiling and cheering now that they have Yeonjun there.  _

_ A sudden rush of emotion swells his heart then squeezes out to be distributed to the rest of his body at the stares. Intense warmth simmers in his chest and encases his body like a big hug from Soobin, Yeonjun’s eyes taking on an elated glow.  _

_ “Come join us, Yeonjun!” Huening Kai yells, waving him over.  _

_ “Yeah!” Beomgyu agrees with a large grin, gesturing him into the water, “Come have fun with us!”  _

_ “And if you’re sick of the water,” Taehyun jumps in, Hyejin settled in his lap while they sit underneath the shade of a towering tree, “there’s plenty of room on our blanket.” Hyejin smiles and flaps her arms excitedly in concurrence.  _

_ Yeonjun stares for a bit, between the shady spot and the water, before a genuine smile takes over his lips and energy swirls within him. He feels hyper, like he has too much energy and it’s searching for ways to get out, almost like he’ll burst at the seems if he doesn’t move.  _

_ “Make room for me, I’m coming in.”  _

_ Yeonjun dives in head first and swims over to Huening Kai and Beomgyu. Once he pops up above water, they start splashing him in water, laughs over powered by the force of the water leaping up and crashing over them.  _

_ Back and forth they go, wall of water after wall of water raining down, and at one point, Yeonjun glances back and catches sight of Soobin playing with Hyejin. The scene is warped when he’s submerged underwater, but instead of panicking like he used to, he simply pops back up and goes to grab at Huening Kai and Beomgyu.  _

_ The two run around, as quick as they can in water, and scream while laughing simultaneously. Huening Kai screeches when Yeonjun nabs him and dunks him under. Yeonjun swims away after to see if he can get to Beomgyu, who’s narrowing his eyes teasingly at Yeonjun.  _

_ “Wake up, Yeonjun,” he says teasingly.  _

_ Perplexion paints itself over Yeonjun’s face. “What?”  _

_ “Wake up, Yeonjun-!” _

+++

Yeonjun’s eyes snap up and they land on Beomgyu, sitting beside him with fear in his eyes. “Huh?” He feels the weight of the baby on his chest and sits up gingerly. Hyejin starts protesting at the movement and the loudness of their voices. 

“It-it’s Soobin,” Beomgyu stutters over and Hyejin begins crying with staccato sobs leaving her small mouth. 

“What?” Yeonjun readjusts the baby in his arms, cradling her gently and trying to shush her. He’s still confused as to what Beomgyu is talking about and glances at Taehyun, who’s stirring because of the crying baby in his arms. 

“He’s been poisoned.”    
  
Yeonjun freezes and sees Taehyun out of the corner of his eyes wake up more at the admission. Yeonjun can’t process what was just said to him so he repeats, “What?” He feels Taehyun taking Hyejin out of his arms to help calm her down but she continues crying. 

“He ate nightshade somehow. I stepped away to use the bathroom and when I came back, he was on the floor convulsing.” 

Yeonjun scrambles out of the tent and runs faster than he ever has in his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so much dialogue! omg y'all, lowkey think the quality just went down, but it is what it is ig   
> hope it wasn't too bad for you! comments and kudos are always highly appreciated   
> ummm also txt with a fall comeback? they're taking all my moneyyyyyy  
> anyway folks, i'll see y'all later, pls rest well and stay safe <3
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	19. Chapter 19

Yeonjun emerges from the tent and looks around frantically, but he doesn’t have to search for Soobin -  _ no  _ \- he comes out just in time to see them carrying Soobin’s limp body across the camp, his mouth darkened by the poisonous nightshade he somehow managed to eat. 

Yeonjun covers his mouth, jaw dropped, eyes watering as he watches them take Soobin into one of the doctor’s tents. His steps falter, he’s not even sure how he makes it over there, but he ambles shakily, staggers, stumbles clumsily until he’s at the entrance flaps. 

His body trembles and Yeonjun honestly can’t believe it, he can’t believe Soobin is  _ hurt _ , that someone hurt  _ his  _ Soobin. He reaches out a quaking hand and pushes the flap aside, a pained noise escaping his mouth, the doctor attending to his mate glancing at him for a brief moment before carrying out what she was doing. 

Arms wrap around him and Yeonjun falls, his knees give way, collapsing into the arms of the person he doesn’t care to recognize, tears overwhelming his eyelids, staring on with a dead look in his eyes because he can’t process. His brain won’t work,  _ refuses  _ to work properly, leaves him there to observe the scene without action. 

“Yeonjun? Yeonjun, pay attention to me, hey, Yeonjun!” His ears are filled with cotton, he can barely hear whoever is trying to talk with him. Yeonjun doesn’t feel like talking, physically can’t open his mouth at the moment because what will come out is a mystery, even to himself. 

So he tunes them out, whoever they are, and sets a lifeless stare on the tent his mate is in. His body slowly numbs, starts with his fingertips, ends with his toes. He can’t, Yeonjun  _ can’t _ , he can’t take this,  _ he _ \- 

A soft yet firm slap is delivered to his cheek and Yeonjun snaps out of it, a slight pain blooming below the skin and dusting with a light rosy pink, shocking the feeling back into his body. He twists to stare at the culprit, it’s Beomgyu, and he recognizes the fire in his eyes, the way it flickers and licks at his pupil, not blazing yet, but on the verge of spreading, barely contained. 

“You can’t do that,” Beomgyu’s frustration and anger isn’t directed at Yeonjun, but his desperation is, “You can’t retreat into the dark depths of your mind, you can’t go into shock, Soobin needs you right now, do you understand me, Yeonjun? He needs you like you needed him all those times before, so go in there and be there for him, okay?” 

Yeonjun can only stare, he can’t reply to Beomgyu, there’s a disconnect, his brain won’t bring words to him, won’t give him what he needs to express that yes, he does understand, he understands completely and will do it. 

“Yeonjun, please,  _ please _ tell me you understand. That’s my bestfriend and right now, he needs  _ you _ .” Beomgyu grabs his face roughly, stares directly into Yeonjun’s eyes, into his soul, and Yeonjun can see the flame fulgurate uncontrollably. 

Opening his mouth, Yeonjun does his best to force out a scratchy, “ _ Yes _ ,” nodding at Beomgyu’s words as best he can in the rough hold. 

Beomgyu helps him onto his feet and, though unstable, he’s able to stand by himself. “Go and be there for him, if you really care about him, then you’ll be there for him.” 

Yeonjun turns, ignores the smarting in his cheek, and careens to the doctor’s tent to the best of his ability. He opens the flap gently, hands still shaking, and ducks inside, his eyes drawn to the way Soobin’s face has slackened. 

“He’s going to be okay,” the female doctor says to him, wiping down Soobin’s exposed skin with cool water. “Are you his mate?” 

Yeonjun nods and wipes some of the drying tear tracks on his face. He’s got more tears, but he doesn’t want to cry in front of the doctor. “H-how did you know?” 

“His scent is all over you and yours is on him.” She replies and glances at Yeonjun. “Would you like to take over for me? I still have to attend to the orphans.” 

“Yeah,” Yeonjun tries his best to block the tremors in his voice but it’s hard when Soobin is like this, “Is he okay though?” 

“Yes, he’s okay, but he’s in a coma, like the other four wolves, he ate enough, but not too many to die. He wouldn’t be alive right now if he did.” The doctor explains helpfully and Yeonjun feels a small ray of hope despite the heavy weight in his chest. “I’m Yerin, by the way, beta and doctor that attends to the sick wolves.” 

Yeonjun gulps and crosses his arms over his stomach. “I-I’m Yeonjun, Soobin’s omega.” It’s the first time he’s ever called himself something like that and he must admit, it’s weird, though it does make his heart drop because it feels  _ right _ to say it, but Soobin isn’t awake to hear it. 

“Nice to meet you.” Yerin nods politely and moves out of the way, leaving the bowl and rag for Yeonjun. “If you’ll excuse me.” 

Nodding, Yeonjun takes her place beside Soobin. He settles down on his knees gingerly while he stares down at Soobin’s sleeping form and he listens to Yerin exiting. Yeonjun takes a deep breath, shaky inhale, shaky exhale, and picks up the animal hide in the water, ringing it out so it’s damp, and holding it as steadily as he can manage. 

His hand wobbles the closer he moves it to Soobin, but then he stops, drops the animal hide and brings his hands up to Soobin’s pale face. He touches him delicately, afraid he might break if he holds him too tightly. 

“Soobin?” Yeonjun calls him. 

His omega whines internally,  _ Mate is hurt, why is our mate hurt? _

Yeonjun can’t respond to his omega because he doesn’t have an answer. He doesn’t know why Soobin was targeted. 

“Soobinnie? It-it’s me, it’s Y-Yeonjun, I’m here, Soobin. I’m here and I-” Yeonjun chokes on the lump in his throat, but it dissipates the moment Yeonjun allows the tears to flow. 

Desperation seizes Yeonjun’s heart and it clenches painfully, he feels the burn of the hate building within him for the person that did this to his poor Soobin. But he’s too sad, there’s too many tears for him to be properly angry, to feel the simmering in his gut, the flames licking up the sides of his body, he can’t feel it because it’s doused by sorrow and anguish. 

He squeezes out the tears, shuts his eyes harshly, too tightly, light sobs rattling through his chest. Yeonjun leans over and presses his face into his naked chest, waits for Soobin’s arms to wrap around him in a comforting hug, waits for his sweet nothings, waits for him to tell Yeonjun that it’s gonna be okay and that he’s here, he’s right here and he’s not going anywhere. 

None of it happens, not even when he burrows his face further into his chest, not even when he caresses Soobin’s lax features with gentle fingers, not even when he sobs loud enough for Soobin to hear. “Soobin,” he wails into his chest, face scrunched unattractively and wet with salty waste, lips parted and pouting while he clutches Soobin to himself. 

“Soobinnie, please, it-it’s me. Please come back to me,” He whines pathetically, whimpering pitifully, “come back, don’t leave me, you said you wouldn’t leave. You said you would always be here for me.” 

He cries to the point his vision is blurred, his chest hurts from the wracking sobs, his lungs are burning with the need for air, he’s lightheaded. Yeonjun hurts all over, physically and mentally and emotionally. It’s too much to deal with, he can’t do it without Soobin’s help. 

“Soobin, please, I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll be better for you, I’ll do anything,” Yeonjun needs Soobin, he’s not strong enough, he’s weak, he’s weak and he won’t make it without Soobin. Yeonjun’s too broken to do anything, he can’t bear to be away from him. He’ll be eaten alive, consumed by his own thoughts, his own nightmares, his own memories. 

Yeonjun pulls his face away from Soobin’s now grossly wet chest and scoots closer so he can hover his face over Soobin’s. He watches a tear drop onto Soobin’s cheek, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t flinch, there’s absolutely no reaction at all. “Soobinnie, my S-Soobinnie, p-please-” he gasps for air, snorts unattractively as snot blocks his nasal passages.

“Why won’t you respond?” Yeonjun sobs in frustration. “You said you wouldn’t leave, you lied to me, Soobin, you lied.”

Yeonjun feels himself going crazy, breaking down, all he wants is love and Soobin gave him that, but like everything good Yeonjun’s ever had in his life, it’s ripped away from him. He wants Soobin back, he wants Soobin to be okay, he wants Soobin to tell him it's okay, and he doesn’t care if it's selfish, he doesn’t care about anything but getting Soobin back. 

There’s no telling how long he’ll be in a coma, the other four wolves haven’t woken up yet. Yeonjun wonders if they’ll ever wake up from it because he’s heard of people dying in comas, the doctor said he ate enough to fall into one, but that doesn’t guarantee Soobin will live. 

He gets an idea, and it’s silly, Yeonjun knows it is because it only happens in the movies, but at this point, he’s willing to try anything to get Soobin to wake up. Leaning down carefully, Yeonjun holds his face again, quivering hands cupping tenderly, and he lets his eyes flutter close, pressing his trembling lips onto Soobin’s plush, pliant lips. 

Yeonjun holds it for a couple of seconds before pulling back slowly and searching Soobin’s face for any signs of movement, the childish hope fading from his chest. He figured it wouldn’t work, true love’s kiss only works in the cartoon Disney movies. 

Wiping at his teary face, Yeonjun scoots back and grabs the wet cloth, ringing it out so it’s damp, then cleaning off the mess he made on Soobin’s chest. He drags it over the surface and takes his time to look over Soobin. 

Soobin is naked and he doesn’t know why, but that isn’t a big concern at the moment. His whole body is slack and it would be more concerning to Yeonjun if Soobin’s face didn’t look so relaxed. Soobin’s eyebrows are unfurrowed, his eyelids shut, mouth ajar, head tilted to the side as he rests. 

“I’m so sorry, Soobin, I just...really need you. I don’t know if-if I can survive without you, you’re all I’ve ever needed.” Yeonjun sniffles and moves the rag up to Soobin’s face after he’s finished cleaning off his chest. “No, you’re everything I never knew I needed.” 

Yeonjun pauses as if he’s expecting an answer from him, but there’s only silence for an answer. “Back at the agency, I never had the freedom to want, to need. I got what I got and if I didn’t accept it, I was punished. And when I came here, I was a prisoner, for a good reason. But you gave me freedom, Soobin, even when I was tied up, you let me choose, you gave me a  _ choice _ .” 

Tears slide down his face again, but Yeonjun wipes them away quickly. “I feel it, Soobin, I feel... _ us _ . I-I’ve fallen for you so much, I’m almost there, I can almost say it back, I promise. One day, Soobin, one day soon.” He leans down and presses a tender kiss to his forehead. 

Salty waste runs down his cheeks without much thought on whether Yeonjun allowed them to run or not. He tries to swipe them away but every time he does, there were more to replace the ones before. “I miss you, Soobin, so, so much. I don't know what to do, I need you. I know I don’t say it, but I need you, I really do, Soobin.”

Yeonjun puts his head onto Soobin’s arm. “Hold me, alpha, please, hold me. Please tell me you love me, please.” His voice drifts off into a whisper. “Come back to me, I-I’m so scared, Soobin, I’m so scared.” He inhales deeply from his mouth. “You gave me everything, you gave me your everything. You’re my mate, Soobin. If you die…” 

Yeonjun can’t bear the mere thought of Soobin dead, he wouldn’t be able to go on. He’d probably end up a crazy rogue if that happened, like the agency taught him. He may be acting a bit over dramatic, but who knows how long this will last? The other wolves haven’t awakened yet and the possibility is always there. Who’s to say that the person who did this won’t come back and finish the job? 

He never expected Soobin to get hurt, but he can barely go a day or so with being mad at Soobin, even then he could always go back to him, could always make up with Soobin, forgive him and have it back despite whether it felt like the end of the world or not. Like this, his support is completely taken away and this time it really is the end for Yeonjun, he can’t live without Soobin. 

Snaking a hand up, Yeonjun slips his hand into Soobin’s and squeezes, nice and tight, eyes closed as he whispers a few more words before allowing his fatigue to catch up with him. “Please, Soobin, don’t leave me.” 

+++

_ The agency knew what the students in the program hated the most when it came to punishment. They could tell by the reactions, screaming louder, flinching harder, thrashing wilder. They could never not tell, and the moment they figured it out, it would constantly be used against them. Not every time, sparingly, they’re not monsters -  _ no not at all _ \- so they would use it every now and then.  _

_ Yeonjun didn’t get a lot of punishments and the ones he did get were particularly cruel, but they never really used his most hated punishment against him as much as others.  _

_ There was this one boy, he hated fire, with a burning passion, scared him to his wits ends. That’s how he died too.  _

_ He kept messing up, screwing up every time they had a mission, between missing a step from the strict instructions and breaking the easiest rules to break. But then he discussed a mission with another student and they figured it out quickly, probably the quickest he’s ever seen them figure it out.  _

_ The agency was merciless, making him an example, a warning that this is what happens when they break the rules or continuously fail and disappoint the agency.  _

_ They burned him at the stake, in the courtyard, like they would to witches back in the day. The head countess made an announcement too, said his last failure was discussing the mission with another student, who was also punished, and allowing a werewolf child to escape.  _

_ Yeonjun will never forget his screams or how hard it was to not react to the vile scene in front of him. But the worst of it all, the  _ smell _. The smell of burning human flesh that wafted over the crowd, even people with the strongest stomachs, even the guards, even the teachers, gagged and retched because it was too much. Yeonjun held his position, swallowed down the urge to gag and vomit, forced himself to watch as the fire ate the boy whole.  _

_ It was a public execution, like all killings were. Most of the time, they didn’t use their worst punishment against them, but it could and would happen, they must’ve been fed up with him, to the point they couldn’t help themselves. Normally, when it’s the last straw, despite being warned, they would shoot them on the spot.  _

_ Morning line up is when it happened the most. Morning line up was when they woke up and stood in front of the door to their room, always to the left of their room number and always three feet in front of the door.  _

_ However it wasn’t uncommon to see them doing it whenever and wherever.  _

_ In the courtyard, he once watched a girl get shot in the head, dead center, though they didn’t say what she did. In the cafeteria, they stood up a boy and shot him without hesitation, not minding the blood and brain matter splattering into someone’s food or onto someone’s back. In the classroom, they had the audacity to call her out and the moment she set foot outside of that doorway, she was on the floor, bullet wound in her head.  _

_ When the killings happened, there was always a small lull of silence, everything stopped momentarily before continuing like nothing ever happened. Doesn’t matter if blood was on her face, she wipes it off and keeps going, doesn’t matter if brains fell into his soup, he pushes it aside and keeps going, doesn’t matter if it sent Yeonjun into shock, he snapped out of it and  _ kept going _.  _

_ There was another time, it was a girl this time. Whips were her thing, her worst punishment. The head countess enjoyed it, no one else caught on, no one else saw like Yeonjun did, no one else saw the ghost of a smile haunting her lips.  _

_ “Two hundred lashes!” She had shouted, circling her like vultures eyeing a dead carcass.  _

_ The girl trembled, pleaded for her life, struck down every time she tried to run, every time she tried to make them feel bad for her, every time she made eye contact with someone in the crowd. Her screams and cries only got worse throughout the night.  _

_ By lash one hundred she had passed out from blood loss, from lash one hundred and twenty Yeonjun swears she died. He saw it, the blood gushing out, how the slight movement of her chest grew weaker and weaker until it finally stopped and no longer moved.  _

_ The head countess didn’t care, they carried out with her punishment, all the way to lash two hundred. Lashed and lashed at her limp, lifeless body, the end flirting with the torn open skin, coaxing, coercing blood to flow and flow until her body has nothing else to give.  _

_ And she made them watch, all of the students watched her wail and screech like a banshee, watched her pass out from the exertion of merely feeling excruciating pain, watched the whip crack over her skin time after time again, splitting already open wounds even further.  _

_ Some flinch with each hit, some look away, some gag, some retch, some vomit, some watch in horror, some force themselves to watch with no reaction, Yeonjun’s one of them. Forces himself to keep his eyes on the way her body arches away from the whip, the ways she cries, the way the blood spills out and he stops himself from reacting, only allowing a straight face to show. It’s so horrific that Yeonjun can’t look away and he  _ knows _ she’s suffering, the agony in her voice, the misery in her screams. _

_ Yeonjun will remember, there’s no way he could ever forget the screams, the cries, the gun shots, the smell of burning flesh, everything that happened, he’ll remember it all, regardless of where he ends up, whether that’s life or death.  _

+++

Yeonjun startles awake, the echoes of the screams and gunshots in his ears. He lifts his head and looks at Soobin’s knocked out figure. There’s a heavy lump in his throat and tears well up into his eyes, but he chokes it down for now and snuggles his head into Soobin’s side. 

There’s no use in crying, it won’t wake Soobin up and it won’t make him feel any better. Yeonjun won’t feel any better until Soobin’s awake. 

For now, he pretends, pictures Soobin’s hands reaching up into his hair, running through as he whispers to him sweetly. A shiver goes down his spine at the simple thought of what Soobin would say. Something to the effect of - “It’s okay, Yeonjunnie, just calm down for me, baby, it’s okay, I’ve got you.” Oh, how much Yeonjun  _ yearns _ to hear Soobin say that to him again. 

He sees Soobin’s face smiling down at him fondly, fingertips skimming lightly over his skin, underneath his eyes to clear tears if there are any, sweet kisses on the forehead or temple, hair being brushed out of his face while he’s blessed with watching Soobin’s dimples pop out. He longs for it, longs for his careful, meaningful touch, his loving, doting stares, his sentimental, enamoring words. 

His fantasy shatters when he hears rowdy shouts and yells from outside and it sounds like they’re right outside their tent specifically. Yeonjun’s confused and annoyed at the obnoxious noise outside. If Soobin’s going to be in a coma, he’s going to be in the most peaceful coma ever as long as Yeonjun’s around. 

Yeonjun storms out of the tent, ready to yell when he sees that there is a literal crowd surrounding the doctor’s tent he and Soobin are in. He’s alarmed and shocked at the angry werewolves yelling and one particular wolf steps forward. 

“We know it’s you!” The alpha points a finger at Yeonjun. 

“What are you talking about?” Yeonjun says, but he already has an idea about what he’s referring to. 

“Don’t play dumb! You’re the one sabotaging our pack!” 

“No, I’m not. M-my mate was one of the wolves that was attacked!” 

“Stop with the act!” He growls out. 

“What the hell is going on here?” Everyone turns and finds the head alpha standing behind them, working his way through the crowd with his mate and baby in tow. “What is the meaning of this?!” He yells, looking around furiously. 

“Alpha, it was him! He did it!” The other alpha bows his head respectfully then looks at Yeonjun with a glare. 

Seokjin steps forward, handing their son over to Namjoon. “What proof do you have?” 

“Luna, it’s so blatantly obvious!” The alpha doesn’t sound as respectful to him as he was with the alpha. “Open your eyes-” 

“That is _no_ _way_ to talk to your luna!” Namjoon seethes, glaring down at the out of line alpha. 

The alpha understands and bows his head once more. “I’m sorry, luna, I got fired up, forgive me.” 

“You’re forgiven, now what proof do you have?” 

“He’s the only outsider, he used to  _ hunt _ us for a living. What other proof could there be?” The alpha offers. “If we execute him, it’ll all stop, I just know it’s him. It  _ has _ to be him.” 

“I’m sorry, but that’s not solid proof.” 

“Never before have we ever had this happen, then suddenly he shows up and bad things start happening? It’s only logical, luna.” 

Seokjin glances at Yeonjun and Yeonjun sees it then, sees him  _ considering _ the accusation. He looks down at the floor and then back at the alpha. “Anything else?”

“Nightshade is not native to this area as the head alpha said himself, but there were nightshade bushes in the last area we moved from. The humans, the  _ hunters _ , must know about nightshade and he must’ve taken some from where we were at and used it to poison the others and poison his own mate-” 

“He couldn’t have poisoned Soobin,” Someone speaks up from the back, they part and reveal Taehyun, who looks extremely tired and is leaning on Beomgyu while holding their baby. “He was-” 

“I call a trial!” The alpha interrupts, “If he is truly innocent, we can put him on trial.” 

Seokjin’s eyes are sympathetic before they harden. “A trial it is then. Bring all the witnesses and proof you can.” 

“Luna!” A female beta calls out to Seokjin. “Please, at least imprison him or something! I don’t feel safe with him freely roaming around, for all I know, I could be next for speaking out!” 

“N-No, I-I wanna stay with Soobin!” Yeonjun protests, “I wanna stay with him, please don’t make me leave him!” He begs and can feel the tears welling up in his eyes again. 

Seokjin takes a moment to ponder before looking at Yeonjun. “You can stay with him, but I am posting someone outside the tent to watch you. The trial will be tomorrow morning.” 

“And what if he kills the kid in the night?!” The same lady protests.

Seokjin makes eye contact with Yeonjun. “If he knows what’s good for him, he won’t.”

All Yeonjun can do is turn his back on the crowd and the head alpha and luna and cry to an unresponsive Soobin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, sad chapter and im so sorry that im so harsh on yeonjun ugh :( it'll be over soon, I promise  
> hoped it wasn't too bad for y'all :/   
> thank you for the support and kind words, i appreciate it very much   
> school is starting up again so updates might not be as frequent with this coming week and the school months after that, just thought i should give you a heads up  
> thank you for your patience and stay safe everyone! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	20. Chapter 20

_ Yeonjun lifts his head off of Soobin’s sternum, his eyes fluttering open as he looks around before his eyes land on Soobin’s face.  _

_ Lazy lidded eyes stare back at him with a small yet dimpled smile. “Yeonjunnie,” Soobin calls quietly and Yeonjun is frozen, eyes wide, mouth open in disbelief, heart pounding.  _

_ “Y-You’re awake,” Yeonjun stutters and he can already feel the tears pooling in his lower lids.  _

_ “Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?”  _

_ “Th-they said that...you-you were in a c-coma, y-you ate the nightshade.” Yeonjun tells him, the tears sliding down his face.  _

_ Soobin sits up while pulling Yeonjun’s face into his chest. “Why are you crying, silly mate, I’m right here?”  _

_ Yeonjun nuzzles into his chest, quickly and relishes in the warmth, in the care, in the intimacy. Savors it as much as he’s allowed to because he doesn’t know if it’ll end as soon as it’s started. “Y-you’re not supposed to be awake yet-”  _

_ “What do you mean? I only went to sleep. You went to sleep with me, Yeonjunnie,” Soobin says, pushing hair out of Yeonjun’s face.  _

_ Yeonjun’s eyebrows furrow but he doesn’t pull away. “W-what are you talking about?” He turns his head so his cheek is still pressed against Soobin’s chest, but he can look around now.  _

_ No longer are they in the doctor’s tent, but in the comfort of their own tent. Yeonjun’s perplexed, so much that he pulls away and looks at Soobin. “Why are we here?” _

_ “Why wouldn’t we be here, baby?” Soobin answers and cups Yeonjun’s jaw, bringing him forward so that their foreheads and noses are touching. Soobin scrunches his nose playfully and Yeonjun finds himself entranced in Soobin’s dazzling smile.  _

_ “But we’re…” Yeonjun forgot his question, his eyes stuck on Soobin’s soft features lighting up in happiness.  _

_ Soobin shushes him tenderly and rubs their noses in an affectionate eskimo kiss. “No more questions, Yeonjunnie, and no more crying either. Just be here with me, mate.”  _

_ Yeonjun listens to his alpha, leaning into his embrace, holding still, as still as possible so he doesn’t disturb the peaceful and loving air Soobin has put around them. He breathes shallowly, the touch taking his breath away, and stares deeply into Soobin’s open eyes.  _

_ But it’s not the same. All of it, it’s different, not right, not how Yeonjun needs it, not how it should be. The warmth is too intensely warm, the chills forcing a shudder that’s too harsh, the touches taking too much air, more than it’s supposed to, the tingles more like pins and needles digging into his skin than soft pin pricks that make him giddy.  _

_ “No,” Yeonjun says breathlessly. _

_ “What was that, Yeonjun?”  _

_ Soobin’s eyes aren’t pools of swirling, alluring brown, they’re dull, lifeless. His affectionate words are too sugary sweet, not the same natural honey that would slip off his tongue but a saturated syrup meant to overwhelm instead of calm. His hands are soft but too soft, without the same subtle firmness Soobin usually uses when he’s holding Yeonjun after he cries.  _

_ And Soobin would never tell Yeonjun to stop crying, he would tell him to let it out and wait until he abates his tears and erratic breathing, he’d wait patiently while whispering sweet nothings that weren’t actually nothing but true words Yeonjun needs to hear.  _

_ This is not his Soobin, this is not his alpha, this is not his  _ mate _.  _

_ Yeonjun tries to pull away, move away as far as he can from the imposter but he won’t let him go.  _

_ “Where do you think you’re going?” Soobin’s tone is grating, devoid of the sweetness, the kindness it once held.  _

_ “S-stop, y-you’re not him, you’re not my Soobin!” Yeonjun grabs at the hands now clutching his jaw tightly, holding him there forcefully. He digs his nails into the backs of them, however the imposter won’t let go, only tightening his grasp.  _

_ “No one’s here to protect you now, Yeonjun,” Soobin’s voice distorts, deeper than it is, almost a growl.  _

_ Yeonjun cries again, attempting to tear at the flesh of the not Soobin’s hands so he’ll let him go but to no avail. “Stop it! Stop it!” He yells at him.  _

_ Not Soobin grins wickedly, “No one is coming to help you, not even your precious Soobin.”  _

_ “You’re not real!” Yeonjun screams and that’s all he can do, scream the same exact words over and over until everything fades to darkness.  _

+++

Wetness drags down Yeonjun’s face as he opens his eyes. They immediately land on Soobin’s sleeping face, if Yeonjun didn’t know any better, he would’ve reached out to wake him up, expecting brown eyes to flutter open and stare at him. 

Yeonjun lifts his head and glances at the entrance flaps of the tent, sees the small rays trying to break through. 

The trail must be soon, the sun is already drifting up higher into the sky, he’s probably due in a little while and he’s got to gather witnesses, though he only has two possibilities.

Wiping the tear tracks on his cheeks, Yeonjun forces away the rest of the tears that threaten to fall. He can’t cry now, he has to prepare. 

There’s a small puddle of tears gathered on Soobin’s chest and Yeonjun grabs the animal hide that sits beside him, drying it up so it doesn’t dry and stick. 

“Why now?” Yeonjun whispers to himself. “Out of all times that I’ve needed him, why take him from me now when I need him the most?” 

Soobin remains still, unresponsive, his eyes still closed, face still slack. Yeonjun brings a hand up and brushes the hair that sits on his pale forehead. 

“I don’t know if I can do this, Soobin. What if they...what if they try to kill me for something I didn’t do?” Yeonjun asks him, but there’s no reply, not that he was expecting one in the first place. “I understand they can’t trust me, hell, I wouldn’t even trust me, but...I’ve done my best, I’ve given it my all to fit in, why do they assume with no solid proof?” 

He tries to imagine Soobin’s response, but he can’t. Yeonjun doesn’t know what Soobin would say, except maybe for the obvious, “I’ll always be here to support you.” 

“You were the best witness I had,” Yeonjun sighs and leans down, kissing the now clean spot gently. “They’re going to kill me and you’ll wake up alone.” 

A fresh wave of pain washes over his body and that sudden thought makes Yeonjun hurt more than he ever has before. If they killed Yeonjun and Soobin woke up mateless, he could barely imagine what would happen to Soobin. Soobin loves him wholeheartedly, probably even more than Yeonjun knows, his reaction to Yeonjun’s death would be worse than anything Yeonjun’s ever experienced.

Yeonjun has built faith in Soobin’s feelings for him, and if it’s as true as Soobin claims, then his whole world would spiral until it smashed on rock bottom. Pain would be the only thing he knows, Soobin would go rogue, he’d go crazy. 

The pain blooms in Yeonjun’s heart, blooms into misery at the thought of Soobin dying and deteriorating because of Yeonjun. That would be worse than the punishments Yeonjun has received, worse than anything Yeonjun would ever feel in his lifetime - though his life might just be cut short this morning. 

But regardless, Yeonjun would do anything to spare Soobin of any pain that would kill him or drive him to do something that’s very un-Soobin like. 

“No,” Yeonjun feels the determination form on his face, “they won’t kill me. I’m going to live, Soobin, okay? Do you hear me? I’m going to live for you because you can’t ever experience pain like that, I won’t let you. I would take torture every day of my god damn life if it meant you were alive and happy. Anything, Soobin, I’d do anything.” 

Yeonjun feels the lump in his throat choking him up, but he swallows it down nevertheless, feeling it poke sharply as it slides down. He leans down and presses a tender kiss to Soobin’s forehead. 

He crawls over to the entrance of the tent and pops his head out. “Hoseok?” 

The person stationed outside his tent turns his head to Yeonjun. “Yes?” 

“Can I go collect my witnesses?” 

“I’m gonna have to follow you, but yes, you can.” 

Yeonjun slips out of the tent and walks over to Taehyun’s tent, feeling the presence of Hoseok behind him. He stops in front of his friend’s tent. “Taehyun?” 

“Yeonjun? Come in.” Taehyun’s voice is hushed.

Yeonjun pushes the flap aside and steps in, thankful that Hoseok stops outside and waits for him. “Hey.” 

“Hey,” Taehyun whispers quietly. “I’m surprised they let you out of the tent.” 

“Don’t be too surprised,” Yeonjun moves his gaze over to where Beomgyu is asleep with their baby sprawled across his chest, “Hoseok is waiting outside. How long have you been awake?” 

“A little while now. Hyejin ate not too long ago and Beomgyu took her to nap, I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I’ve just been sitting here, thinking.” Taehyun shrugs gently. “Beomgyu gave me some food before he went to sleep, so I wasn’t drained after feeding her.”

Yeonjun nods. “Oh, I honestly haven’t even thought of food.” 

“You must be starving, you didn’t eat last night either, did you?” 

“There’s too much on my mind, I don’t have an appetite. Anyway, I’m here to ask if you could be a witness for me in the trial?” 

Taehyun glares at him, there’s no heat behind it. “As if I’d say no. But you need to eat something,” he gestures to the basket with leftover cooked meat.

“I’m not hungry-” 

“ _ Eat _ or I won’t do it.” 

Yeonjun sighs but reaches for the basket and starts to pick off pieces of meat. He takes a bite, chews, and swallows, then another, then another, and Yeonjun sees that he really is hungry, his body just wouldn’t tell him until he took a bite of food. 

“Good. Who else are you going to have as your witness?” 

“I don’t have very many witnesses, Soobin was the best I had, but he’s out for...obvious reasons,” Yeonjun takes another bite and chews, “Maybe Taehyung, I guess.” 

“That’s a good idea,” Taehyun says. “Do you have anyone else in mind?” 

“No, I don’t.” 

“What about Beomgyu?” 

Yeonjun pulls meat off of a bone. “I’m already dragging you into this, no need to take him too. Plus, he’s got to take care of the baby. We’re also not really that close.” 

“But he’ll do it,” Taehyun insists. 

“No, it’s okay, you two should be enough.” Yeonjun dismisses. “Which reminds me, I have to go see if Taehyung is awake and if he’ll agree to be my witness.” He sets down the food in the basket. “Thank you for the food, Taehyun. I’ll see you later.” 

“One more thing before you go,” Yeonjun looks at him and listens, “Soobin has been your support for a while, but now you have to support him, it’s your turn, Yeonjun. You’re stronger than you think you are, so be strong, for your sake and Soobin’s.”

Yeonjun nods and gives him a small smile. “Thanks, Taehyun.” He whispers.

He exits out of the tent and starts walking to Taehyung’s tent. He’s not totally sure which tent is his, so he sniffs around to catch the scent of sweet tangerines. Walking down the row of tents, he ignores Hoseok’s eyes on his back and the other eyes of the wolves that are already awake, finally latching onto the desired scent and following it. 

“Taehyung?” Yeonjun whisper-shouts into the tent. 

Taehyung emerges from the tent with messy hair but a bright smile painted over his lips. “Hey, what’s up?” He steps out of the tent and looks around Yeonjun. “Oh, hey, Hoseok, did you need something as well?” 

“Actually, uh,” Yeonjun glances back, “he’s here to watch me.” 

“Oh,” Taehyung nods in understanding and glances at Hoseok, “I understand. Anyway, did you want something, Yeonjun?” 

“Yes, I-I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind being one of my witnesses at the trial today. I’ve already got Taehyun as a-” 

“Say no more, Yeonjun.” Taehyung stops him and Yeonjun feels a stab of fear in his gut. “I already know you’re innocent and I’ll definitely be one of your witnesses.” 

Yeonjun feels a smile tug at his lips. “Thank you, Taehyung, this means so much to me.” 

Taehyung beams. “Of course, Yeonjun. I’ve got your back and like I said, I can tell when people are lying,” He raises his eyebrows playfully. 

Yeonjun steps forward and, rather timidly, embraces Taehyung in a hug. “Thank you.” 

Taehyung hugs him back and pats his head gently. “It’s really no problem, Yeonjun.” 

Yeonjun lets go and smiles at him one more time. “I’m gonna go be with Soobin before the trail.” 

“Tell him I said hi and that I’ll see him soon.” Taehyung squeezes his shoulder gently and then releases him, “See you at the trial.” 

Yeonjun nods and heads back to the tent that Soobin’s lying in. He glances at Hoseok, who gives him a weak smile and gestures at the tent, before going inside and taking his spot next to Soobin. “Hey, Soobin.” He starts quietly. 

He brings a hand up and cups Soobin’s soft cheek. “Taehyung said hi and that he’ll see you soon. I’m hoping that you’ll wake up soon too so we can be together. Ever since I shifted for the second time, I’ve wanted to shift with you. You saw my wolf, I think I should see yours too.” 

Yeonjun squishes the flesh of his cheek affectionately, staring down at him with a small grin. “I bet your wolf is handsome. I also want to meet your alpha, I never actually got to meet him.” He leans down and kisses his forehead. “There’s so much we still have to do, Soobinnie. It’s kind of sad that I never realized it until now, but it’s true. And I want to do it with you, I want to do it all with you.” 

There’s still no reply, which sucks for Yeonjun, but he’s slowly getting used to silence being his only answer. “I miss you. Like, you’re here but you’re not here. It’s...not the same. I miss your smile and your laugh and your loving words and your kisses and everything about you.” Yeonjun scoffs at himself and shakes his head. “Here I am about to cry again.” He wipes at his eyes. “But I really do miss you, Soobin, and after this trial, I’ll come back and stay with you for as long as I have to.” 

Hoseok pokes his head in. “Sorry to interrupt the moment, but they’re calling the trail right now.” 

Yeonjun nods. “Okay. Can I have one more minute?” 

“Sure.” Hoseok agrees and waits outside of the tent. 

“I’m gonna get through this alive, for you, Soobin. Okay? It’s all for you.” Soobin lies very still, in the same position he’s been in since the beginning. Yeonjun leans down and kisses his lips, it’s a quick peck, but Yeonjun still feels the tingles, though it doesn’t vibrate as much as when Soobin kisses back. “I’m gonna be strong for you.” 

Yeonjun sits back and takes a deep breath to mentally prepare to defend himself, but it doesn’t work very well seeing as the nerves and anxiety choke him up. He gets up anyway and exits the tent, Hoseok following behind him while he avoids the glaring eyes of the other wolves making their way to the trial.

The luna and head alpha stand at the front with their son, the baby gurgling and smiling at the people filling up the meeting place. Seokjin keeps giving him smiles when the baby giggles and glances at him, but they don’t meet his eyes. He doesn’t seem very happy about the trial. 

Yeonjun isn’t sure where to stand and Hoseok must see it because he places a careful hand on his shoulder and says, “You’ll stand at the front of the crowd facing the alpha and luna.” 

“Thank you.” Yeonjun replies gratefully, trying to keep the nervous tremor out of his voice. 

“Good luck.” Hoseok pats his shoulder gently before speeding ahead of him and taking his spot beside the head alpha as his right hand. 

Yeonjun does as Hoseok said, moving up to the front and standing in front of the crowd. He glances over at the other side, the right side with the alpha from last night, who is currently sneering at him, in front of the crowd too. 

Once everyone is settled down, the head alpha speaks. “The trial begins now. Each side will be given fair chances to speak as well as call up witnesses. I will mediate. Under the generous light of the moon goddess, you will not lie. Without further ado, we’ll start with the right side. Sir, if you’ll start with why you’re here.” 

“I accused  _ Yeonjun _ ,” the man starts with an annoyed huff, “of being behind the attacks on our pack. If I may start with my reasoning?” The head alpha nods. “Reason number one, when he came here at first, he wanted to kill us all, he tried to kill one of the younger members in our pack. He was -  _ is _ \- a hunter, with the intentions to harm us all one way or another.” 

Namjoon looks at Yeonjun. “Do you have anything to say to that?” 

Yeonjun takes a shallow breath, almost forgetting how to breath. “I-I won’t deny it. When I was first captured by you, my intent was to kill you, all of you. But I was brain-washed, conditioned to think werewolves were bad and needed to be eradicated, no matter what. 

“That clearly isn’t the case. Ever since Huening Kai, the young wolf I originally tried to hurt, saved me from drowning, I’ve changed my ways. I have learned all sorts of things, especially after figuring out that I was a werewolf myself. I-I’m an omega wolf and I have been learning how to be one ever since.” 

“Do you have a witness to attest to that claim?” 

Yeonjun opens his mouth to speak, but Taehyung starts before he can. “That would be me!” He pops up from his spot among the crowd, walking over to stand beside Yeonjun. “I taught him everything he knows, from baskets to cleaning and cooking any animal. He’s a natural at it, it’s in his blood.” 

“Is there anything you’d like to ask the witness?” Namjoon turns to the other wolf. 

“Actually there is,” The alpha smiles and focuses onto Taehyung, “don’t you think this could be him attempting to fit in so we don’t suspect him for things like this? If I may remind you, when he first shifted, he attacked his own mate, a big red flag, am I wrong? Using our own werewolf abilities against us, imagine what he could do with everything you’ve taught him. What do you have to say to that?” 

Taehyung huffs slightly and tilts his head down at the alpha’s challenging stare, daring the omega to look in his eyes. “Master fucking manipulator, that’s what I have to say.” Yeonjun can see how intimidated he is by the alpha. 

“What was that?” Yeonjun can  _ hear _ the way the alpha purposely left off the emphasized ‘omega’ in his sentence. It echoes in his ears and Yeonjun feels bad for putting Taehyung in this position. 

“Nothing,” Taehyung pops his head back up and looks at the head alpha, “I have nothing to say to that. If I may, alpha,” He starts moving away from Yeonjun, shooting him an apologetic glance. 

“You’re dismissed, thank you.” The head alpha replies. “Yeonjun, the chance to defend yourself is now.” 

Yeonjun smiles back at him as reassuringly as possible so he won’t feel too bad about it. He licks his lips nervously and sighs, “All I can say is that I wasn’t in control. I don’t remember a thing from that night, I don’t remember attacking Soobin, I can only remember coming out of the water.” 

“Okay. Moving on,” Namjoon nods to the alpha, “Next point please.” 

“Well, let’s think about the four wolves poisoned by nightshade as well as his poisoned mate.” The alpha glances over at Yeonjun, “You can’t really believe someone changed that quickly, can you? He hasn’t been with us that long and yet he’s totally changed? No,  _ people _ don’t change that fast.” 

Yeonjun feels the jab directed at him as the alpha keeps talking. “Wolves, maybe, but he is no wolf, he’s not one of us. Now I haven’t exactly worked out how he got the nightshade, but as an omega, he’d be around the baskets of food without others suspecting him. He slipped it in when no one was looking. That’s how he got the four wolves. With his mate, he packed some away for him to eat when they hunted. He trusted this omega and ate the berries without looking.” 

Namjoon directs his gaze over to Yeonjun, nods at him to signify that it’s his turn to talk. 

“I’m always with Soobin, I couldn’t have slipped anything into any baskets. I’m telling the truth, I never left his side unless it was for a class or to see my friends. If...If Soobin were awake, he could tell you.” 

“But he’s not awake, is he?” The alpha patronizes him as if Yeonjun didn’t already know. “And who’s to blame for that?”    
  
“Whoever is terrorizing your pack.” Yeonjun responds, willing away the tears that attempt to gather in his eyes. 

“Don’t act all innocent-” 

“He doesn’t have to act.” Taehyun says as he stands with the help of Taehyung. “He doesn’t have to act innocent because he is innocent.” 

“Are you his witness?” The alpha scoffs while sizing up the omega. 

Taehyun glares fiercely as he’s helped up to the front next to Yeonjun. He looks at the head alpha with firm eyes. “For the four wolves, I can’t say much, I wasn’t there, my water broke and Yeonjun got Taehyung then went to look for my mate and his mate. That’s all I can say for that, but as for poisoning Soobin, he didn’t do it. He was with me at the time and he didn’t give Soobin anything before going. He stayed with me, we spoke, and then we napped because I was tired.” 

Namjoon nods his head as he listens to the testimony from Taehyun, glancing at his mate, who only gives him a look. 

“May I question his witness, alpha?” Namjoon consents. The alpha continues with a smirk, “You were pregnant and gave birth right?” 

Taehyun glowers at him. “What about it?” 

“Well, if I recall correctly, after giving birth, omegas are given medicine, medicine that could alter memory as a side effect, am I right?” 

Yeonjun notices Taehyun’s hands curling into tight fists. Then he sees what the alpha is doing - he’s trying to discredit Taehyun’s statement. “Yes.” He begrudgingly agrees because he cannot lie and as a doctor, it would go against all he was taught. 

“Did you give birth within these last couple of days while the pack was under attack?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then, after the birth day, you would’ve been given this medicine as it’s required to take for the following week after birth, not to mention the sedative given before the birth can start, correct?” 

“Yes, what’s your point?” 

The alpha turns to Namjoon. “Alpha, we cannot trust this statement made by his witness, he just willingly admitted he’s on mind altering medication, who knows what he could’ve really seen? Not to mention, they ‘napped’ so he truly doesn’t know if Yeonjun got up and left then came back.” 

Namjoon takes a minute of contemplation, huffs a breath, and looks at Yeonjun. “He’s right, we can’t trust the statement on those terms. I’m sorry, but it’s invalid.” 

Yeonjun couldn’t believe this, but didn’t dwell on it because he still has a trail to win and survive. “Okay,” he says with slight defeat. He turns to Taehyun and puts a hand on his arm, “Thanks for trying.” 

“That alpha’s a dick.” Taehyun shoots another glare at the alpha, but when he looks back at Yeonjun, he can see the nervousness and worry building in his gaze. 

“I’ll be okay, you two should sit down, I don’t want you to get tired. It’s okay,” Yeonjun gives him a reassuring smile, even though it’s fake and he’s internally panicking, because he needs it so he’ll listen and not worry as much. “Can we continue please? Let the alpha speak if he really wants.” 

“Oh I do, may I?” Namjoon nods. “How about the baby incident where that poor omega’s child was stolen? I actually heard something _very_ _interesting_ that day. I was passing in the village, going home to my mate, right before the baby was found. Do you know what I heard?”

Yeonjun’s eyes widened. “That-that was a private conversation, why would you eavesdrop?” 

“Forgive me as I am not one to do such things, but I was there and I was concerned when I heard something out of the ordinary. Apparently, dear,  _ dear _ Yeonjun was up early that very morning, and his mate insinuated something quite... _ alarming _ . What were his exact words? Something about you not really doing what you said you were doing earlier that morning?” 

“He didn’t mean it, he was just worked up and-” Yeonjun tries to explain himself. 

“But the moral of the story is that even his own mate doubted him, probably still does.” The alpha looks and shakes his head, disappointed. “It’s a shame.” 

“That is not true, Soobin-” 

The alpha cuts him off, delivering a sharp glare with his reply, “Is not here. So we don’t know.” 

Yeonjun’s eyebrows tip inwards. “I  _ do _ know, if you saw how he looked at me, how he said it, Soobin  _ loves _ me. Taehyun and Beomgyu are his best friends, he was only worried and he couldn’t help thinking that way.” 

“Mates don’t doubt each other. Not over something as serious as a stolen newborn. That might be how humans  _ date, _ and mates do fight at times, but doubt doesn’t happen.” The alpha shakes his head. 

“We-we’re different because of how I grew up. I-I didn’t even know I was a werewolf, it’s a special situation!” Yeonjun fights back, glares intensely as the pit of his stomach burns and scalds. It kisses his organs, heats him up from the inside out, smoldering his heart. And the tears are back but this time, there aren’t enough to put out the flame that flounders in his soul.

“True mates, special or not, don’t doubt each other.” 

“We are true mates!” Yeonjun shouts at him, furious at the accusation. “Stop it! He’s my mate, I-I felt it!”

“Quit acting!” The alpha yells at him and Yeonjun feels his internal omega whimpering, feeling the urge to submit to the angry alpha. “Alpha, you should make the decision now! The time is now to rise against this evil being and execute him for his attacks against our pack!” 

The crowd behind him gets rowdy and starts shouting, yelling inaudible things because they’re all drowning each other out but it’s so clearly directed at Yeonjun, all the glares, insulting words, all the anger is directed at him and he can’t do anything about it. They’ve truly convinced themselves it was Yeonjun and nothing is going to change their mind, nothing will satisfy them except for Yeonjun’s head on a silver platter.

“Quiet.” Namjoon murmurs but the wolves don’t listen. “Quiet!” He demands and glowers fiercely, exuding a powerful alpha tone that only the head alpha can harness and use, one so powerful that even alpha’s find themselves submitting.

“Listen well. I’ve picked three wolves as judges before this, who have vowed to be unbiased and to listen to both sides as well as their witnesses. I’m allowing these three to step forward now from the crowd and they will have time to discuss along with myself, my mate, and my mate’s right hand. I ask for your patience as we reach a final decision. Hoseok will stand guard.” Namjoon moves to the side where they meet three wolves. 

Yeonjun can guess what will happen next, it’s blatantly obvious that Yeonjun is guilty because the alpha wolf has managed to discredit all his witnesses and induce heavy suspicion upon him, especially by recalling the conversation, the  _ fight _ , between him and Soobin. He didn’t think it would happen, but he’s managed to use his mate against him.

Worry laps along the shore of Yeonjun’s heart, moving back and forth with uncertainty, his head stirs and an unsettling feeling knots his insides. Yeonjun can’t even picture what punishment they’ll come up with, he hopes that neither side having proof will work in his favor seeing as this whole trail was based upon speculation. 

A tap to his shoulder makes him turn around and he sees Taehyun, Taehyung, and Miyeon standing there. For some reason, he still had the smallest hope that Soobin would be who he saw, that maybe, in these last few moments, he would be here to offer his assistance, to offer his statement as a witness, to comfort Yeonjun, to kiss him and tell him that it’ll all be okay.

Still, a small, sad smile tugs at his lips. “Hey, guys…”

“That a-alpha is a big meanie!” Miyeon complains but Yeonjun watches the unshed tears crowding her eyes.

Yeonjun nods and chuckles quietly. “Yeah, but it happens,” Yeonjun tries to shrug it off. 

“Not like this,” Taehyun says, shaking his head, “It shouldn’t be like this, there’s no proof, no evidence from anyone. He didn’t even have witnesses. You did.” 

Taehyung sighs, “I tried to see if he was lying, but he threw me off the way he twisted everything. He speaks confidently and with the alpha tone he used on me, I could barely look him in the eye. But he’s smug, he’s too smug about the way he goes about discrediting you and your witnesses. Almost like he knows something that we don’t.” 

“It’s too late now, there’s nothing any of us can do. They’re going to make a decision and I’ll have to take whatever punishment they come up with.” Yeonjun lowers his gaze to his feet. 

“There’s always a chance that they won’t find you guilty, this whole thing is speculation, it’s a joke of a trial.” Taehyun tries to argue but Yeonjun’s not having it. 

He shakes his head. “No, as a werewolf pack, you guys can’t take the risk, I’ll be found guilty for sure. Werewolf trials differ from human trials, rules, traditions, they’re all different, speculation is probably enough. ” 

“But-but you can’t be blamed for what you didn’t do!” Miyeon protests, starting to squirm in Taehyung’s arms and reaching out her little arms to make grabby hands at Yeonjun. 

“I don’t have a choice, Miyeon, and I can’t hold you. I’m under suspicion and they won’t want me holding a child of the pack.” Yeonjun feels a pang in his heart at the look on Miyeon’s pretty little face, the hurt and dejection in her eyes. She stops struggling, the tears falling down her small cheeks. 

Taehyung does his best to calm her down, but Yeonjun can see that he’s hurting for him too. Yeonjun doesn’t feel worthy of their pain, they don’t deserve it after all they’ve done for him. Yeonjun has done it again, hurt the people that only wanted to help him. 

“I’m sorry,” Yeonjun lowers his head, “I should’ve tried harder, I should’ve fought harder, for you guys and for Soobin. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeonjun,” Jimin and Jungkook come up to them, Jimin speaking first, “I’m so sorry it went like this, that it has to be like this.” 

“He’s right, it shouldn’t be like this. Taehyung told us everything before, I trust his words and I believe you're innocent.” Jungkook frowns, his brows furrowed with genuine pity.

“It’s okay,” Yeonjun gives a weak smile, “I...I’m sorry that I couldn’t do better, for anyone, for even my own mate. Don’t hurt because of me, I’ll be gone, it’s nobody’s fault but my own, I should’ve done more, I should’ve done better. I’m sorry for letting everyone down.” 

“Yeonjun, it’s not your-” 

“We’ve come to a decision!” The head alpha comes back, walking with his mate, their baby boy now chewing on his hand cluelessly, his mate’s right hand and the three wolves. 

Yeonjun gulps and feels his lungs seize, his heart pounding erratically, nerves eating away at him, anxiety clouding up his brain. He’s not ready, he can’t take it, he doesn’t want to hear it, he’s not rea-

“Yeonjun has been found guilty.” 

His heart drops, this is it, he knew it would come to this, and it did come to this. Tears well immediately, he needs his mate, desperately, yearns for his comforting arms, feels the urge to tell Soobin all the things he feels for him, things he’s never said before because he was too cowardly in the moment. He needs his alpha. 

“We’ve left the punishment up to the people.” 

“Death!” Someone calls from the crowd and a murmur of agreement rings through it. 

“We will not execute him.” Seokjin refuses bravely, “We can exile him from the pack, but killing him is not an option. I won’t stand for it.” 

“But luna, if we exile him, he’ll come back with other hunters and kill us all when we least expect it.” The alpha reasons, glancing over at Yeonjun with a smug look because he won, like he knew he would. 

“I just said no, respect my commands, alpha, I am your luna.” 

The alpha doesn’t like that, doesn’t like taking orders from any omega no matter who they are. So he turns to the head alpha, “Think about your heir, alpha, your child. There will be no future leader of this pack, there will be nothing left for him to rule, Yeonjun and his hunter friends will not let him or anyone in this pack live.  _ Everyone _ will die, including your mate and your child.” 

Yeonjun watches the distrust forming in Namjoon’s eyes when he glances at Yeonjun. There’s a tinge of fear in them after hearing the possibility, about the possible harm it wouldn’t only bring his pack, but his mate and child as well. Yeonjun’s fate is sealed.

“Yoongi, Hoseok, grab him.” Namjoon refuses to look at Yeonjun, his eyes fixed on a spot on the ground, brows furrowed. He’s fighting with himself internally, but ultimately, one side wins and it’s not the side that favors Yeonjun. 

Yeonjun doesn’t fight, doesn’t struggle when hands arrest his arms and drag him over to the head alpha. He understands and he’s not mad, Yeonjun deserves this, Namjoon has no choice, the pack alpha must do what’s best for his people and his family. It’s a different motivation than Yeonjun’s back when he was killing werewolves, but that doesn’t make it any easier, Yeonjun understands that his hand has been forced, he understands because the exact same thing happened to him. 

Yeonjun looks at his friends and smiles before the others can move him away, he manages a quick, “Thank you,” to them. 

Taehyun’s eyes are wide and he’s shaking his head, fearful for Yeonjun. Taehyung is holding Miyeon close, burying his face in her head while pressing her face into his shoulder and as she starts to cry, he catches the hint of tears glistening in Taehyung’s eyes, how he mutters to Miyeon quiet but shaky reassurances. Jimin’s eyebrows are furrowed and he’s scared, his eyes so sad and wishing this wasn’t happening. Jungkook’s face has gone stoic, he holds his mates and Miyeon, holds them all, crushes them to his chest as a means for protection. 

“What are you doing?” Seokjin hisses from beside his mate. “You are not going through with this, Namjoon, listen to me, we cannot do this!” 

Namjoon has cast aside any other feelings, Yeonjun used to do the same, it’s almost too easy to recognize. “Yoongi, I’m trusting you’ll carry out the deed.” 

“Of course, head alpha.” Yoongi nods solemnly.

“Namjoon!” Seokjin yells at him incredulously. 

“Quiet, omega!” Namjoon yells back, his eyes a furious red, tinged with fiery orange, glaring at his mate. “I don’t want to do this, but this is what’s best for us and for our pack.” His voice trails down, loses its volume but holds no less power. “Yoongi, take him into the woods and carry it out there.” 

“Yes, alpha-” 

“No,” Seokjin shakes his head, “no, if you’re going to kill him, his blood will be on your hands and you’ll do it right here, right in front of everyone, so they can see what kind of a head alpha you are, so they can see who I don’t even recognize anymore.” 

Namjoon is hurt, Yeonjun can see the way he aches internally at his mate’s words, but he does as requested, nods for Yoongi and Hoseok to place Yeonjun on his knees, right in front of him. “Hold his arms for me.” 

Yeonjun’s not sure in what way he’ll be killed, at least that is until he feels two large hands touching him, one clutching his jaw, the other holding his neck where his hair meets his nape. 

Yeonjun closes his eyes, feels his pulse thundering, tears leaking down his face, his body trembling. At least it’s going to be quick and rather painless, that’s plenty merciful. He pictures one last image: Soobin smiling down at him, filled with love and happiness, his eyes little crescents, cheeks indenting with dimples and creasing wrinkles by the corners of his eyes. A small smile graces his own lips, he’ll miss Soobin and in the afterlife, he’ll always regret never telling him those three words that would’ve meant everything to him.

“Alpha, wait!” A voice cuts through the absolute silence of the crowd. 

Yeonjun exhales a shaky breath and opens his eyes, watching Beomgyu stomp towards them with his child in one arm and something in his hand. 

Beomgyu looks furious, his face tinted a scarlet red, approaching them with heavy footsteps. He stops right in front of Yeonjun, glances down at him before staring at the alpha. “I know who did it.” Namjoon’s hands leave Yeonjun’s face. “It wasn’t Yeonjun,” Beomgyu continues, moving his gaze from Namjoon to someone else he can’t see and he glares ferociously, “it was  _ him _ .” 

Yeonjun casts a look over his shoulder, following Beomgyu’s gaze all the way to Yoongi, whose face is straight and unwilling to show anything else. His brows furrow as he hears the alpha ask, “how do you know?” 

“When Soobin got sick from nightshade, Yoongi was the one to hand out berries. Not an omega, but him. It made me suspicious. The night Hyejin was stolen, he was the one to give us water before we went to sleep, not Jimin.” Beomgyu flickers his gaze over to the omegan doctor. 

Jimin chimes in, “I asked him to, I had to attend to an elderly patient quickly and he was there because the nurses were busy with the poisoned victims, so I asked his help. He even gave me some water after as well, said I looked like I needed it.” 

“When he brought my daughter back the next day, she had an ‘x’ drawn on her chest with some sort of powder. I smelled it and I remembered it, it’s a good thing too. I checked his tent and I found this,” Beomgyu holds up a small bag. It’s about the size of his palm, dark blue, the top bunched up and drawstrings pulled out.

“What is it?” Namjoon takes the bag, Yeonjun hears the fabric sliding together and he turns his head as much as he can to watch. 

“Look inside and see for yourself. The bag smells like him too.” 

Namjoon pulls out a small tin, opens it, sniffs it. “Black powder,” he whispers, “nightshade berries,” he continues to list as he pulls things out one by one, “what’s this?” Namjoon reveals a small bottle with a dropper attached to it. 

Taehyun speaks up this time. “It’s a pain reliever that doubles as a sleeping agent. Usually we only give one or two drops so they can stay awake, but enough of it can put a wolf in a deep slumber for a while.”

“A slumber deep enough to steal a child.” Beomgyu supplies helpfully. 

“The nurses were talking about a missing bottle from our supplies.” Jimin adds.

Seokjin is the one to speak up this time. “Y-yoongi? Is this true?” Yoongi remains quiet and solemn. “I asked you a question, Yoongi, answer me. Is it  _ true _ ?” 

There’s more silence that follows as all eyes stare at the beta wolf, right hand to the luna. But eventually, he blows out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, it was me.” 

Yeonjun can’t believe it. “You poisoned my mate?” He questions.

“Yeah, did that too.” He’s so nonchalant, Yeonjun’s mouth twitches with the urge to grow out his werewolf teeth and rip him to shreds in front of everyone. Even his internal omega is growling with a feral undertone to it.

“Why?” Yeonjun sees movement in the corner of his eye and looks at Namjoon, whose hands are shaking while they hold the bag. “Why would you do that?” 

“Is it not obvious?” Yoongi questions, his eyes scanning the crowd, an eyebrow raised. “Really? No one can even guess? No one has a  _ single clue _ as to why I poisoned five wolves, stole a baby, and put poison oak on the orphaned children except for one little missy right over there?” 

Yeonjun pieces it together because really, there is only one motive there could be for Yoongi to do all of these things. “You wanted to get rid of me,” Yeonjun answers in place of everyone. 

“Took you long enough,” He glares at Yeonjun, “You shouldn’t be here, you tried to kill one of us, you wanted to  _ kill _ all of us. I’m expected to forgive you?” Yoongi scoffs a sarcastic laugh and his tone takes on a mocking lilt. “Oh right, you  _ changed _ , did you? No, I don’t believe you for a second. You did what you did and us taking you in is the biggest mistake we could’ve ever made. I was doing my pack a favor, getting rid of the enemy because that’s all you’ll ever be,  _ Yeonjun _ , the enemy.

“But don’t give me all the credit, we almost got you, the manipulative alpha over there? He helped. I wouldn’t even be surprised if his mate knew.” He gestures to the alpha that went up against Yeonjun in the trial, though his features have paled considerably. “We were going to get rid of you to help our pack, but this idotic beta who couldn’t just let things happen kept getting suspicious. I should’ve poisoned you too.

“Soobin deserved what he got, falling in love with you, showing you off to the pack as if you were some sort of trophy to be proud of, rubbing it in our faces. He’s a disgrace to this pack and frowned upon by our great ancestors above. As for the first four wolves, I like to think of them as a... _ temporary _ sacrifice, for the greater good of our pack.”

“What about my  _ newborn  _ child?” Beomgyu snarls out, “Was she a fucking sacrifice when you left her out in the woods, alone?”

“The baby was only a small scare, the ‘x’ didn’t mean anything, just put it there to make it more ominous. I didn’t leave her out in the woods alone, she would’ve died for sure, the alpha watched over her, I had him there so she wouldn’t get eaten. I wouldn’t  _ kill _ a child, born or unborn,” Yoongi shoots a sharp look at Yeonjun then keeps going, “then I stayed with her for a bit while he walked back and later reported to me the conversation between Soobin and Yeonjun, it was too perfect for the moment.” 

“That’s why you had to be the one to bring her back? Because she already smelled like you?” Beomgyu questions further.

“Exactly, I took off her blanket and put her on a new one so he didn’t have to touch her and so she wouldn’t smell like the alpha, but I couldn’t return her without the blanket. I also was the only one who knew where she was so that explains that.” 

“What about my orphans?” Taehyung asks, “Why them?” 

“Funny you ask, I saw Yeonjun interacting with the little girl right there in your arms. Of course he would connect with the  _ human _ of all orphans. It was the perfect opportunity to further incriminate him. So, on the night of the ceremony, after Yeonjun freaked out, another well-timed event, and Soobin had taken Yeonjun away, I snuck into the orphan’s tent later that night before they returned and rubbed poison oak on the mats except for the one that smelled like human.

“I accidentally got some on my ankle the night before, so I had to be the one to ‘check it out’ and figure out what it was the next morning, so no one noticed and suspected me. I knew that the orphans would be pooped out so they would fall asleep immediately, and I spreaded some mud on my scent glands so it wouldn’t smell like me when I went in and left. To drown out most of the poison oak smell, I had the alpha hand me something used by the omega that attended to them and rubbed it around too.

“I left the human untouched because she was the one that interacted with Yeonjun and because Yeonjun only kills werewolves, not humans, so it made logical sense to leave her alone.” 

Seokjin speaks next, “You did this because you didn’t like him? Because you wanted him to pay for what he was forced to do?” 

Yoongi sneers at the luna’s words, “You make it sound like he didn’t have a choice, I don’t feel one ounce of sympathy for him. He deserves to die for what he did to our kind, for what he wants to do to  _ us _ . He took innocent lives, of men, of women, of children. He can’t go and get immediate forgiveness for hurting werewolves, no, that’s not how it works, he must  _ pay _ with his life in the most painful way there is. But if it wasn’t the most painful, at least he would’ve paid the way Namjoon was about to kill him.”

“So the smartest idea you had was to terrorize  _ your own pack _ , hurt your own pack members just to force my mate’s hand and kill him?” Seokjin’s words are slow and calm, but his eyes reveal the smoldering fury building within him, the aggressive,  _ livid _ flame overtaking him.

“It was the only way, it was for the good of our pack, luna, I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t have to. It was either this, or pay for it with the lives of our entire pack.” Yoongi looks at Seokjin and there’s some emotion there, like he  _ needs _ the luna to understand where he’s coming from, like he needs him to know that this was for a good cause.

“Funny,” Taehyun says, “that’s exactly what Yeonjun used to say.” 

Namjoon, who had been quiet for quite a bit while listening, finally talks again, “I’m giving you, both of you, thirty seconds to run.” He looks between Yoongi and the alpha. “You will run and you will never return and if you aren’t off of my territory when I finish counting, I will hunt you down. You are exiled from this pack, you will get none of your belongings, and I will never see your faces again.  _ Go _ .” He spits and starts counting. 

Yeonjun turns and sees the alpha and his mate shift in mid run then take off into the woods. He looks back around at Yoongi, the shock and surprise evident on his face, and he’s hesitating, taking staggering steps back. 

“I-I tried to help our pack, what do you-” He stutters over his words, has the audacity to look betrayed. 

“Did you think I was joking?!” Namjoon roars at him and it’s only then that Yoongi snaps out of it, shifts and runs into the brush, his wolf form eventually disappearing behind trees and vegetation.

It’s quiet save for the head alpha’s labored breathing. Namjoon drops to his knees now that the wolves are gone and places a heavy hand on Yeonjun’s shoulder. He makes eye contact with Yeonjun and his eyes shine with apology, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry they did that to you, I’m so sorry, I almost-” 

  
“It’s okay,” and Yeonjun means it, “It’s okay, alpha.” 

A sigh of relief floods through Yeonjun, he’s  _ alive _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, kinda fell off the face of the earth for a bit there, school started and it's a lot more work than i expected, got hw the first day ugh. it's hard adjusting but i'm managing, getting there, thanks for your patience  
> y'all were wrong about jimin hehe i tricked you, sorry not sorry but things are going to start looking up, i promise  
> i'll probably have to start posting each weekend instead of every two to three days, so I just wanna let you know  
> hope you're all feeling okay today and everyday and that you're all staying safe!   
> love y'all so much, hope you liked the chapter!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	21. Chapter 21

Yeonjun turns to his friends and smiles as they crowd him for a group hug. He’s crushed between Taehyun and Taehyung and Miyeon and he may be losing air, but he doesn’t care about that. 

Relief courses through his blood stream, the corners of his lips tug up into a big grin, his heart beat has slowed down significantly and he’s so glad that he’s no longer facing imminent death. He just has two more things to do. 

When he pulls away from the hug, he excuses himself and walks over to Seokjin, who’s holding their baby boy, looking rather down despite the fact that his mate didn’t have to kill someone. 

He spots Yeonjun and heads over to him. “Hey, Yeonjun, I just wanna say that I’m really-”

“Don’t apologize.” Yeonjun tells him, “I know what you’re going to say. But I’m here to tell you that it’s okay, I’m happy I didn’t die and that Beomgyu found the real people who did. I just wanna say that I don’t want you to be mad at Namjoon.” 

“Yeonjun, it’s...hard, I didn’t like what I saw, he just...I’ve never seen that side of him and I honestly can’t believe he would even consider it, let alone almost do it.” Seokjin replies, draping the baby stomach down on his arm while bouncing him lightly. The baby gurgles and laughs while shoving his fist in his mouth then rests his head on the arm beneath him.

“They forced his hand and they weren’t wrong. If it had been me doing this stuff for the agency, then yes, it would’ve been the right thing to do. He didn’t really have a choice, he didn’t want to compromise your safety by letting me go. It was like me when I was with the agency, either I die or the werewolves do, for him it was either I die or you and your child do...does that make sense?” 

Seokjin nods albeit a bit hesitant. He adjusts the baby in his arms. “It’s just -” he sighs, “we’ve never been those kinds of people, never been this kind of pack. I was surprised, I didn’t think he had it in him.” 

Yeonjun nods in understanding. “He’s the head alpha, I’d assume he’d have to have that in him. You never really know what you’re capable of until you’re in the situation. If you can, just try to take it easier on him, it was probably a hard thing for him to do as well.”

“Okay, thanks, Yeonjun, and I really am sorry you had to go through that. It wasn't fair to you.” 

“It’s okay, I’ll be okay, everything will be okay once Soobin wakes up.” 

“Best of luck to you then.” Seokjin smiles widely and Yeonjun can’t help but reciprocate it. 

They part ways, Seokjin to his mate and Yeonjun to his friends, Beomgyu specifically so he can thank him for everything. 

“Beomgyu!” He calls to him and said wolf turns to him. He’s still holding Hyejin, who giggles and smiles at the approaching Yeonjun. 

“Hey,” Beomgyu says once Yeonjun is in front of him. 

Yeonjun pauses for a second. “I-I know you didn’t do it for me, but I...I really wanted to thank you for saving my life. Whether you intended to or not, you did and I’ll be forever grateful and indebted to you because of it.” 

Beomgyu nods slowly and digests what he’s saying. “Um, well, you’re sort of right, I didn’t totally do it for you, I partially did it for Soobin and my mate. And because my poor little girl was traumatized from being stolen.” He turns the little girl in his arms and nods his head at her. “Isn’t that right, Hyejin?” Hyejin giggles and reaches for Beomgyu, making grabby hands at him. 

“Someone needed to be brought to justice and I knew it wasn’t you,” Beomgyu smiles back at the giggly girl as he speaks with Yeonjun, pulling her closer and letting her grab and tug his cheeks. “I could barely believe it when I found the stuff, but I knew I needed to get it to the alpha and I just so happened to get here in the nick of time.” 

“Thank you anyway. And I’m really glad that you found who did this.”

“I’ve known Yoongi for a little while, he’s been right hand to the luna ever since Seokjin took the title. It’s hard to believe that he’s the one who did this to you or me or anyone in this pack, but he did it and I figured it out.” Beomgyu replies, dodging Hyejin’s little fists as she swings them around. 

“You did a good job and I appreciate it, I really do.” Beomgyu nods at his sincere comment. 

“It’s okay, Yeonjun, let’s not go overboa-ow!” Hyejin laughs loudly when her small knuckles collide with Beomgyu’s eye. He over exaggerates his pout towards her and suddenly she’s not laughing anymore, but she’s whimpering instead like she’s about to cry because she knows she did something bad. “Can’t hurt me like that, okay?” And she breaks down in tears, sobbing and squirming in Beomgyu’s hold. 

Taehyun comes over, alarmed by the cries, and takes the baby away from his mate, cradling her in his arms. “What happened?” 

“She punched me in the eye and I was showing her that it hurt me and she started crying.” Beomgyu explains to his mate as he rubs his eye. 

“Oh I’m sure it didn’t hurt that much, you big baby.” Taehyun scoffs at Beomgyu and glares before turning to the baby girl and cooing at her. 

“Hey! I’m the one who got hurt! Why aren’t you consoling me? Plus, if I didn’t show her it was bad, it would’ve developed into a habit.” Beomgyu defends himself. 

“She’s a baby dumbass-” Yeonjun slips away before he can get caught in between their bickering. 

He glances around at the place, wolves are filing out of the standing area, returning to their tents or starting their daily activities. There’s one person on his mind that he would really like to see and he heads over to the doctor’s tents, expecting him to be there, still in his peaceful state. 

He’s stopped by the doctor he met the other day. “Yeonjun! Oh! Hey, good news!” Yerin starts and smiles brightly at him. “The other wolves that were poisoned woke up! It’s only been a couple days, but that’s a good sign. If Soobin happens to be stronger, maybe, don’t take my word for it, but maybe he’ll be able to get out of his coma sooner. A little patience will get you a long way, wait for him.” She nods excitedly. 

Yeonjun is taken aback by her brightness towards him. He can’t help but stutter out his next question, “W-were you at-at the trail earlier?” 

“No, I had to take care of the patients still in the tents, so I didn’t see. Seeing as you’re still here in front of my eyes, I’m betting it went well?” Yerin asks. 

“Yeah, um, Beomgyu found out who was behind the attacks, they’ve been...taken care of.” Yeonjun tells her awkwardly. 

“Well, good, wouldn’t want Soobin upset and missing you once he’s awake. Glad to have you as part of our pack, Yeonjun.” She pats his shoulder gently and nods once. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go check up on the rest of my patients.” 

“Of course.” Yeonjun nods and smiles at Yerin, then moves to enter the tent. 

When he makes it inside, he feels tears overwhelming his bottom eyelids and all the emotions come out, he falls to his knees and crawls up so his body is on top of Soobin’s, hugging his unmoving body. He feels the ghost of Soobin’s arms wrapping around his waist, pulling him close, the phantom of his lips on his forehead, the whisper of his reassurances to him, praises and coos and kisses. 

It’s the pain, the pain he’s felt with the weight of guilt that wasn’t even his in the first place, the pain of not having Soobin there to support him. It was so hard, so hard, but he’s still alive, he  _ did _ it, he made it through the trail and even though he had the support of his friends, which anyone would probably need in that instance, he proved to himself that he is stronger than he thought just like Taehyun said. 

On top of the pain lies relief, but even more important, a slight happiness that would only be amplified if Soobin were awake to congratulate him or if he were awake to hold Yeonjun close, hug him like he’ll never ever let him go.

Yeonjun  _ needs  _ it, he needs something from Soobin, anything, even the smallest thing to take, to hold onto, he needs it. He clutches his mate and sobs while murmuring to himself and Soobin, “I did it, I did it, I did it,” over and over again until he believes himself, until he finally feels like it’s over and he’s done. 

Lifting his head from Soobin’s chest, Yeonjun pants out of his mouth for breath, calms down a bit at the sight of Soobin’s tranquil, undisturbed face, feels his emotions toning down that much more. Despite the sadness and the worry, a smile tugs at the corner of his lips, pulls widely, genuinely, and he lets out a sob at the overwhelming feeling of general  _ goodness _ , hiccuping, sniffling, his teeth showing. 

“Soobin, Soobin, I-I did it,” He cries silently to himself, chest heaving up and down slightly as he takes stuttered breaths. “I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry they did this to you because of me, I’m sorry you got hurt because of me. Beomgyu, he-he saved me, it was this awful alpha and-and Yoongi who did this. They-they were trying to-to get rid of me. They almost succeeded, b-but Beomgyu came in time, he found proof and proved it wasn’t me.” Yeonjun laughs a little bit to himself, probably a bit hysterically, the sound itself humorless. 

“I owe him and Huening Kai now, don’t I? Jeez, if people keep saving me, I’m gonna-gonna end up owing everyone.” Yeonjun takes a deep breath, seeing how well he can breath now that one of the weights on his chest is gone. “Come back to me soon, okay? T-the doctor, she said that the other wolves have woken up, so-so y-you should be waking up soon too. But...if you can, t-try to come back a little faster? For me? Won’t you do it for me, Soobin?” 

Yeonjun reaches over and pets Soobin’s soft cheek, staring at him as if he’s expecting a reply, which he knows won’t happen, but he can’t help it. Silence, once more, is his only answer, Soobin’s face still. Yeonjun smiles through it, however, and tries to keep his spirits up, “It’s okay if you don’t, Soobin, I’ll wait as long as I have to for you,” He sniffles and wipes his nose, “I’ll do it for you, Soobin, anything for you.” 

+++

_ “Yeonjun,” Soobin calls to him. “Don’t you wanna come to me, mate?” _

_ Yeonjun sits by the clear waters of a lake. He’s not sure where they are, but he’s here and he’s with Soobin apparently. He turns his head and beckons Soobin over. “Come over here, Soobinnie.”  _

_ Soobin listens and sits down beside Yeonjun. “What is it, Yeonjun?”  _

_ “There’s a fish and another one, I think they’re teasing each other. The one over there keeps swimming around the other then swimming away and it kinda leaves the other one alone.” Sure enough, the fish do exactly as Yeonjun explains. They’re koi fish, they would look identical to each other - white and orange swirls consuming their bodies - if it weren’t for the black splotch on the back of one of the fishes.  _

_ “They’re kinda like you and me that way, don’t you think?” Soobin inquires and Yeonjun tilts his head in confusion, looking over at Soobin.  _

_ “What do you mean?”  _

_ Soobin chuckles lightly and shifts onto his knees, looking at the koi fish that are playing around. “Well, you’re the one with the black, I’m the one without, you keep running circles around me, leaving me dazed and confused, and I can never catch you, you always leave before I can get out of it.”  _

_ “Really?” Yeonjun asks, his lips down turning a frown a bit. “I do that to you?”  _

_ “Well,” Soobin tips his head to the side and watches the fish play their little game, his eyes clear and bright, “yes, but it's not bad. Because unlike these koi fish, you always come back to me. In the end, I win because you let me win, and I’d rather take that than not win at all.”  _

_ Yeonjun’s lips perk up into a small smile and he scoots closer to Soobin. “I’ll always let you win.”  _

_ Soobin throws his head back in an exaggerated motion to laugh. “Really?” He says afterwards, “You’ll always let me win?”  _

_ “If it means I get to be with you then yes. I really like being with you, Soobinnie.” Yeonjun confesses suddenly as heat consumes the apples of his cheeks.  _

_ Soobin rewards him with the biggest and most beautiful smile Yeonjun has ever seen and ever received from Soobin. “Then you have me, mate, I’m all yours.”  _

_ Yeonjun can’t wait, he can’t hold himself back, he surges forward and kisses Soobin with all the fear, all the want, all the passion, all the sadness that’s taken his soul hostage from the day he fell into the coma. Yeonjun knows this is a dream, knows this isn’t reality, but he needs something, even if it is the memory of Soobin’s lips and not his actual lips.  _

_ He can remember it detail by detail and it feels  _ almost _ real, so close, but not quite there. Yeonjun takes what he can get from dream Soobin because that’s the best he’s going to get for a couple more days.  _

_ Yeonjun pulls back and presses a hand to his untouched lips, there’s no slight swell from impact, no tingles from small brushes, no pants from having his breath taken away. He looks back at dream Soobin with sad eyes.  _

_ The other one smiles back with eyes that gleam with unshed tears and he whispers something, something Yeonjun almost doesn’t catch, he says it so low that it’s nearly inaudible, like he didn’t say it at all, like he never said anything, just moved his lips. But Yeonjun hears it, hears the words, hears the tone, and it makes him sadder.  _

_ “I’m sorry.”  _

+++

It’s been a rough couple of days, but Yeonjun’s been managing. He doesn’t leave Soobin too much in case he wakes up. Yerin told him that he should be waking up any day now, but Soobin hasn’t moved an inch, remains as quiet as a mouse and as still as the dead. 

He’s still alive though, Yeonjun checks just to make sure, just to see if the stutter of his breath means he’s awake. Yeonjun has wondered what it must be like in there, if Soobin feels trapped in his own mind or if he feels anything at all. Yeonjun has never been in a coma, though he’s not even sure if coma patients end up remembering what was going on while they were in the coma, so he can only be patient with time and Soobin’s body. He’ll wake up when he’s ready. 

Yeonjun went out with Taehyun, Beomgyu, their baby, and Huening Kai to the river today. Huening Kai is infatuated with Hyejin - really, who isn’t? - and has swept her away to play in the water while the three of them relax on the damp soil beneath them. 

“It’s cute seeing two babies playing together, isn’t it?” Taehyun says with a raised brow as he watches Hyejin slapping her palms open face on the water only for Huening Kai to do it back at her. She laughs loudly, hysterically, like it’s the funniest thing in the world, then she does it right back to him. 

“It’s definitely a sight to see.” Beomgyu responds with an amused smile on his face. 

“She laughs just like you, Beomgyu,” Yeonjun adds and Beomgyu chuckles lightly with a nod. 

Over the course of the days that have gone by waiting for Soobin, Beomgyu and Yeonjun have gotten to know each other more. It’s a slow process, but Yeonjun’s glad he got another chance from him. He’d like to say they’ve gotten acquainted well with each other since Yeonjun is lonely and Beomgyu sucks at holding grudges, he told him so on the first day. 

“At least she got something from me,” Beomgyu replies. 

Taehyun scoffs, “What do you even mean? She literally looks like you, Beommie.” 

“Yeah right, babe, she looks just like you! She has your beautiful nose and your pretty eyes, she practically has your whole face maybe except for her ears, those are from me,” Beomgyu points at their daughter, “Back me up here, Yeonjun, she looks nothing like me.” 

Yeonjun takes a look at the shrieking child. “I...think it’s a pretty even mix, I can see both of you in her. She has Taehyun’s eyes and nose like you said, but she has your facial structure and ears and hair, Beomgyu.” 

Taehyun shakes his head. “I don’t see it.” 

“You’re both delusional,” Yeonjun tells them, picking up one of the berries they picked earlier and put in the basket between them. 

Beomgyu picks one up as well and holds it out for his mate. “ _ Delusional _ , I never expected such disrespect from you, Yeonjun.” 

“Oh please,” Taehyun eats the berry from Beomgyu’s fingers, “you’re such a drama queen sometimes.” 

“Can’t believe I’m not only being disrespected by one omega, but two! I’m really wounded here, guys, seriously, I’m gonna…” Beomgyu looks around and sees Huening Kai coming over with Hyejin in his arms, “...I’m gonna tell Hyejin on you!” He opens his arms for the baby and once Huening Kai is close enough, he grabs her from his hands. 

Taehyun turns to Yeonjun and whispers, “did he not just prove my point?” They laugh quietly as they listen to Beomgyu complain to the baby. 

“They’re being so mean to me, can you believe the audacity?” He pouts at his daughter and she only giggles, reaching out her hands to try and touch his face. “Why are you laughing at my sadness!? Here, Taehyun, take your daughter, I don’t want her anymore.”

Hyejin is shoved into Taehyun arms and Beomgyu pouts at her one more time before turning away with crossed arms. Hyejin doesn’t seem to like that because she makes a face then starts crying. 

Immediately Beomgyu is turning around and snatching her up in his arms, cradling the baby to his chest, pressing her head into his shoulder and cooing apologies to her. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, my baby girl, Daddy is so sorry, little one. I was just playing around, darling, I do want you. I love you, Hyejin, I love you so much.”

Hyejin forgives him because her crocodile tears stop and she starts nuzzling into Beomgyu’s shoulder, yawning a small baby yawn and fluttering her eyes shut. Beomgyu rubs gentle circles into her back so she’ll calm down, though she’s already calm and probably teetering on the edge of sleep now. 

“I swear, she’s a little faker,” Taehyun says, “She favors you over me, she only wants me when I feed her.” 

“That’s not true, Hyunnie,” Beomgyu tells his mate over the baby’s head. 

“You know it’s true, Beomgyu, don’t even try. I’m just some...saggy bag of milk to her.” Taehyun pouts at them. 

Beomgyu sighs, “Now who’s being dramatic?” He mutters it more to himself but Taehyun hears and smacks Beomgyu on the shoulder. “Look, baby, she’ll want you eventually...when she gets hungry,” Beomgyu smirks teasingly and it earns him another hit. 

“Hey, Yeonjun?” Huening Kai moves from his spot near Beomgyu and sits beside him. “Why do you smell weird?” 

Yeonjun is taken aback by the question because he smells weird? He didn’t know, but he tries to play it off like a joke. “Ow, that one hurt, kid-” He laughs awkwardly and gives Huening Kai a weird look. 

Huening Kai shakes his head. “I’m not joking, your scent...it’s like, I don’t know, sweeter?” 

“He’s right,” Beomgyu adds in, “I noticed earlier, but I didn’t really think much of it honestly.” Hyejin is passed out on his shoulder and Yeonjun stares at the little baby’s sleeping face because he doesn’t have anywhere else to look. 

At least that is until Taehyun ends up squating in front of Yeonjun and clutching his chin to make Yeonjun look at him. He squints and analyzes Yeonjun’s face, moves his other hand to feel Yeonjun’s forehead and then inhales deeply, all while Yeonjun is trying not to look at him like he’s crazy or make awkward direct eye contact. 

“You’re in pre-heat.” Taehyun concludes and retakes his spot in between him and Beomgyu. 

“I’m in what?” Yeonjun asks with confusion pacing his voice. “I know what a heat is, but what’s pre-heat?” 

“It’s a stage to warn you that your heat is coming. You’re not too far into it, but later today you’ll feel it more, then by tomorrow, you should be feeling the full effects of heat.” Taehyun explains to him and also implants fear into Yeonjun. 

“What? I’m...but I-I can’t be! Soobin hasn’t even woken up yet, what could have caused this?”

Taehyun shrugs, “it could be a number of things, it could honestly just be your time to have your heat. Omegas never really know what triggers them.” 

“Crap,” Yeonjun whispers to himself and worries his bottom lip. 

He shoves a couple berries in his mouth, takes his time thinking because he’s freaking out right about now, but he can’t because if he freaks out, he’s going to have to go back to the medical tents, sit next to Soobin and talk to him. The whole reason he’s out here with Huening Kai and Taehyun and Beomgyu and Hyejin is because he felt trapped in that tent after staying there with Soobin’s unconscious body for so long without a single reply. Yeonjun couldn’t stand it in there for a minute longer, it was too much after three long days. 

Yeonjun’s omega had whined at him for leaving his mate when his mate needed him, but he needed some fresh air and he needed to do something other than Soobin’s unmoving face. 

“I have a question,” Huening Kai speaks up, “what will happen if Soobin doesn’t wake up in time? What will happen if he’s not there to help Yeonjun through his first heat?” 

Taehyun makes a face and reluctance sits in his eyes. Yeonjun takes a deep breath, “What will happen if he isn’t there?” 

Taehyun looks sheepish as he tells Yeonjun the (obviously) bad news. “Having your first heat alone is...not ideal, usually it happens once you’re eighteen whether you have a mate or not, though most do. The first heat is always the hardest one, it’s one of the hardest things omegas have to go through, alphas get something similar called a-” 

  
“Just tell me, Taehyun,” Yeonjun rushes because Taehyun is stalling.

“Fine,” Taehyun huffs, “without your mate to help you through it, it’s going to be hell. Your first heat by yourself will be hard, very, very hard. But you didn’t have your heat when you were supposed to, your heat has been suppressed so there’s a slight possibility that it may be even worse than the first heat usually is.” 

Yeonjun inhales and exhales, takes a deep breath to prevent himself from freaking out about what he was just told. He can’t go through this alone, it’s not an option at this point, Yeonjun refuses to go through such pain if it can be avoided. In this case, it can be avoided, and Yeonjun will make Soobin wake up no matter what because he cannot deal with this alone. 

“What if…” Huening Kai starts and they all look at him, “um, this is only hypothetical, but what if Yeonjun went into heat near Soobin? Maybe the smell from his mate would be strong enough to wake him up?” 

Yeonjun takes a moment to mill over his proposed hypothesis. He looks at Huening Kai, “Have I ever told you that you’re smart?” 

Huening Kai laughs and shakes his head, “It’s only a theory, but maybe if your alpha senses your omega’s distress and smells the heat, he’ll wake up. Mates have a strong bond, probably strong enough to wake them from a coma...hopefully.” 

Taehyun looks over at Huening Kai, “You could be right, but there might be a higher chance if they marked each other. You’re more in tune with your mate when you’re marked and the bond is stronger.” 

“True,” Huening Kai frowns, “but we might as well try our best anyway, Yeonjun probably doesn’t want to have his heat alone and Soobin would never want him to suffer like that if he could prevent it. He’d blame himself if that happened.” 

“It wouldn’t even be his fault though, those stupid wolves fed him literal poison berries,” Yeonjun replies, his brows furrowing, “Soobin is really nice, but he doesn’t have to do that to himself.” 

“You’ll learn his mannerisms when you spend more time with him, he has a bad habit of taking the blame for others,” Beomgyu informs him. 

Yeonjun makes a face and scrunches up his nose, “I won’t let him, I’ll try to change that.” 

“Good luck, I’ve been trying to toughen him up for years,” Beomgyu says and adjusts Hyejin in his arms so he’s cradling the little girl in his arms. 

“He might be able to do it, he is his mate. Remember when you had that annoying habit of biting your nails, like, all the time? Yeah, it’s no longer there because of me.” Taehyun points to himself. 

Beomgyu sighs and pouts a bit, “But I’ll be mad if he changed just for Yeonjun and not me, I’m his best friend!” He whines rather petulantly. 

“Drama queen.” 

+++

Yeonjun returns later that evening with a strange feeling settled underneath his skin. Taehyun did mention something about him starting to feel his heat more since he’d be getting his heat by tomorrow. He pants slightly, almost like a dog that’s been left outside on a hot summer day without any water. 

He pulls back the opening of the tent and crawls inside, looking at Soobin’s still form. He sits beside his alpha and sighs in relief when he’s sitting down, it eases the ache forming in his body. The heat itches his skin, pricks and tingles vehemently like he’s being held over a burning flame, but Yeonjun can’t do anything about it. Yeonjun thought the heat wouldn’t hurt him as much until tomorrow, but maybe it’s supposed to be happening like this. 

Yeonjun feels uncomfortable in his own skin and he squirms in his spot, whining softly as the heat only seems to intensify by the minute. He tries to fan himself but the movement does nothing but make him hotter, like he’s only speeding up the process for himself. 

Yeonjun looks around and feels the need to collect all the animal furs he can find that’s soaked with Soobin’s scent. He feels the urge to bathe himself in the alpha’s scent, to roll around and revel in it and smell like him, be  _ good _ for him. 

His eyes stray over to his seemingly lifeless mate, the only reassurance he has being the way the alpha’s chest moves up and down ever so slightly. Yeonjun worries and feels his eyes tear up as the nonexistent flames surrounding him filets his skin, the pain starting to overwhelm his sense and his rationality. 

It’s weird, but Yeonjun notices the way his asshole starts to clench and then it’s wet underneath him and he whimpers, the heat consuming his entire body. Yeonjun is majorly confused, he’s only supposed to be in pre-heat right? So why does it feel like this is the heat Taehyun was talking about? 

A sob tears it’s way through Yeonjun’s throat and his vision gets hazy, his head spinning, his back arching to try and get rid of the pain twisting up his spine. He falls back at one point as tears cloud his vision and his arms and legs turn to jelly. 

“Soobin...Soobinnie, please help me, I’m scared,” He cries to his mate quietly, his bodily functions malfunctioning. He exhales harsh, forced breathes, ones that rip from his mouth painfully, his skin burning by the thousand suns glaring down at him. 

Yeonjun’s brain starts numbing but he turns his head and is able to do one more thing before his body gives up on him. He flops his body over onto his stomach and drapes half of his body onto Soobin’s body, nuzzling his head into his scent gland and inhaling deeply. 

It seems to sooth the angry suns, glare the slightest bit less, comfort him more despite the tears still steaming down his cheeks. It still hurts, but it’s more bearable now that he’s touching Soobin. 

Yeonjun pants and rubs his cheeks into Soobin’s neck, mumbling mindlessly for his mate. “Alpha...Soobin, please, I-I need you,” and it’s only then that Yeonjun feels arousal coursing through his body and gushing a thick, wet slick out of his hole. It’s clenching quite harshly, searching for something,  _ anything _ to clamp down on, anything to feed it, and he feels himself hardening underneath his pack clothing, a flush working its way from the top of his ears to his chest. 

He whines and begs more, pressing his face more insistently. “Soobin!” He cries and brings a hand up to the alpha’s naked, porcelain chest. 

Then he feels it, he feels an appendage that doesn’t belong to him snaking its way around his small waist, feels the chest his head rests on expand further than last time, and he hears it, hears  _ him _ . 

“Yeonjun?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all, how's it going? is life okay for you? is it good? is it not? hope it's going great for you all :)  
> here's a chapter, and I think you know what's gonna happen in the next chapter ;)   
> hope you guys enjoyed it and you're feeling alright!   
> i appreciate the love and support you guys are giving me on here and on twitter! y'all are too nice and I'm lucky to have such nice readers like you!   
> stay safe and have a good day or night or evening or...you know what I mean!  
> bye bye <3
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	22. Chapter 22

Yeonjun thought he was too immersed in his intense heat to have anything break him out of it, but it’s Soobin, he’s awake. He’s  _ awake _ . 

“Soobinnie?” The consuming heat subsides enough for Yeonjun to focus, enough for him to lift his head and look at Soobin’s sleepy, disoriented eyes. Those eyes, they’re so recognizable, they’re so... _ Soobin _ . 

“Mate,” Soobin whispers with a dopey smile, he’s half conscious, not really aware of what’s going on, “you’re here…” 

Tears overwhelm his eyelids and Yeonjun pants excessively because one, he’s still in heat, and two, he can barely believe this is happening, at all. It’s him, it’s really Soobin, he’s here and he’s awake. Yeonjun musters all the strength possible and crawls forward, his hands coming up to cup Soobin’s cheeks -  _ squishy cheeks filled with life  _ \- then plants his lips delicately on Soobin’s. 

It tingles, just like it’s supposed to, it’s passionate, his heart pounds harshly against his rib cage, momentarily forgetting about the slick gushing in between his thighs, feels the way his hands quake with fear as if he’s afraid Soobin will disappear, will go back asleep and stay back asleep. His breath is stolen, his lips moving against Soobin’s lips and Soobin kisses back, his large hands holding Yeonjun’s hips tighter. 

Yeonjun sighs into Soobin’s mouth and turns his head, getting a bit caught up in the moment as the heat starts infiltrating his mind again. Soobin’s kissing him back lazily, lips moving leisurely, languidly, but Yeonjun needs more. He applies more pressure, presses as hard as he can, demanding Soobin to kiss him back rougher,  _ harder _ . Yeonjun moves his hands from his cheeks to his hair and grips on for dear life. 

Soobin pulls back after a bit of Yeonjun mauling his face and his eyes hold confusion because he’s not sure what Yeonjun is trying to do. Meanwhile, Yeonjun is overflowing with heat, it’s spilling out of his pores and he needs Soobin to get it together so he can fuck the heat out of him. 

“Yeonjunnie, what are you doing?” Soobin asks, blinking his eyes so he can break out of his haze of sleep. “Why do you smell so…?” 

Naturally, Yeonjun resorts to begging, too far gone to be embarrassed despite the color dusting his cheeks. “Please, please, Soobin, help me, I-I  _ need _ you,  _ really badly _ .” 

“What-?” Soobin’s eyes widen the tiniest fraction and his nostrils flare when he takes a deep breath, Yeonjun can feel the way his chest inflates then deflates, up and down as he notices what’s going on with Yeonjun. “Are you in heat?” 

And then the flames are back to eating Yeonjun alive, the kerosine words flare the fire, bigger, brighter flames sting and stoke Yeonjun into a frantic state. He feels the slick gushing out double time and his mind grows hazy once more. Yeonjun groans in pain and Soobin must snap out of his daze because he’s holding Yeonjun close. 

“Oh my god, how long have you been like this?” 

Yeonjun can’t comprehend anything but the heat and the clenching of his asshole accompanied by the forceful push of slick out of his private area. He whimpers to Soobin, his hands gripping tightly, holding on for dear life, clutching because he can barely take it. Yeonjun can’t handle the pain prickling beneath his skin nor the desperation simmering his core, making him hot and horny and  _ needy _ . 

He’s so aroused that once he notices his hard on poking into Soobin’s blanket covered leg, he grinds down on it to provide himself some sort of relief. Control is no longer an option, it’s been long gone for a bit now and Yeonjun can’t help the greedy, filthy moans that slip out from the pleasure he brings himself. 

At this point, Yeonjun’s only got a one track mind and that track leads to waves of pleasure dunking him below while tossing him high, Yeonjun isn’t waiting anymore. However, Soobin doesn’t seem to like that idea as much, a large hand attaching to his hips and stilling them with a harsh grip. 

Yeonjun whines pathetically at Soobin, his nails creating crescents that correlate with the moon shape of Soobin’s smizing eyes. Soobin tilts Yeonjun’s head up with his other hand, finger pushing up, and he leans down, capturing Yeonjun in a kiss, stealing his breath ruthlessly, coercing shudders to travel through his body, shivers to climb down the ladder like steps of his spine. 

Passion sweeps through the kiss, maneuvering into Yeonjun’s mouth in the form of Soobin tonguing him. Yeonjun moans and opens his mouth for his alpha, licks inside tentatively before diving in with a determination to memorize and imprint every groove and crevice within the wet cavern that is Soobin’s mouth. 

Soobin cools him, it’s slow and not very prominent, Yeonjun would feel better if he actually  _ touched him _ , but he takes what he can get. He whimpers and whines and keens and preens under the attention of Soobin’s lips, but it’s not what he needs at the moment, his insides, his  _ sopping wet hole _ needs Soobin, clenches for him desperately. 

So it’s a surprise when Yeonjun notices the hand closing around his aching arousal, his mouth opening in a shocked gasp, eyes wide and hazy, moans slipping out of his throat. It must’ve snaked down while Soobin was distracting him with his mouth. 

_ Sneaky alpha, _ Yeonjun’s omega helpfully supplies. 

Yeonjun bites his lip at the sheer stimulation of the touch, he can barely process what happens when Soobin starts  _ moving _ . If Yeonjun could anticipate the way Soobin twists and flicks and tugs so naturally, so  _ deliciously _ , he’d have some questions, but right now he can’t, so he’s not questioning anything, instead he thrusts his hips upwards into the tight ring of Soobin’s fist. 

Yeonjun’s nails feast on Soobin’s skin, digging in painfully without remorse, without mercy, Yeonjun is pulled close to the edge, feels how his ass and his thighs only get wetter, only become more drenched with slick. The stimulation provided pulls the coil within his abdomen taut and Yeonjun stiffens abruptly before spilling into Soobin’s hand pumping him through his orgasm, Yeonjun’s hips thrusting automatically to take him higher and higher. 

Soobin’s mere touch feels like having a glass of ice cold water on a hot summer day, so intensely cold he feels it traveling through his heated system. The motions of his hand like waves of cool sea water dousing him. But once Soobin triggers his orgasm, Yeonjun is blasted with an icy wind that blows out the flames within him, balancing his body temperature. The ashes still spark, jostle from their spots, and warn Yeonjun that it’ll return soon, with smoke as thick as forest fog, hotter and brighter and nastier than ever.

Yeonjun softens for the time being, feeling the need to cuddle the hell out of Soobin. Unfortunately for Yeonjun, Soobin moves his hand first, wiping the ejaculate onto a rag resting nearby and then he’s getting up. Yeonjun whines as Soobin crawls away, grabs at him and tries to tug him down. Soobin doesn’t obey, however, and Yeonjun’s left to whine at him.    
  
“A-alpha…” He sounds annoying but he can’t help it, he needs his Soobin, his  _ alpha  _ right at this exact moment. 

Soobin ignores him in favor of pulling on his pack clothing, the covering for his exposed male organ that is  _ hard _ , Yeonjun looking away and doing his best not to blush, but the heat disobeys, as expected, not only tainting his cheeks but the tips of his ears too. 

Yeonjun glances over again, Soobin pulling the top piece before he’s crawling back over to Yeonjun and signalling out of the tent. “Come with me, Yeonjun,” Soobin’s voice holds no room for argument, not even a small closet for reply. Yeonjun listens and follows him out of the nurses tent, flushing profusely because he  _ knows _ he smells, his dick is getting hard again, and there’s still slick leaking from his ass, Yeonjun is clenching harder than he ever has in his life in a weak attempt to keep it inside so no one notices. 

He gets up on unsteady legs that wobble, unstable. Yeonjun now relates to the feeling of a knock-kneed fawn, feeling control escape him. So Soobin chooses the least embarrassing thing to do and scoops him up for the general public of the pack to see. Yeonjun is stuck rapidly throwing an arm around Soobin’s shoulders, his other hand holding down the thin and too short fabric of his pack bottoms. 

Yeonjun can already feel the ashes sparking to life. Individual little fires that eventually mingle and grow a steady flame that starts to get bigger and bigger. His body is hot again and quickly rising, almost increasing at a rather alarming rate. The smoke is thick but it doesn’t affect his lungs, no, instead it fogs his brain, covers,  _ suffocates _ the little bit of rationality Yeonjun had gotten back after Soobin got him off for the first time. 

Yeonjun doesn’t even realize that he’s tuned out until he’s listening to Soobin talking with Taehyun, asking him a weird question that Yeonjun catches. 

“Where are the heat tents?” 

“You don’t know where they are?” 

“Um, I was in a coma like ten minutes ago-” 

“But we’ve been here for quite a bit, Soobin, you shou-” 

“How about, instead of arguing, you just tell me where the damn tents are so I can take care of him, okay?” 

There’s a short silence. 

“Follow the river south, once you see a berry bush, turn west and walk until you find the clearing with the tents.” 

“Thank you.” 

Then they’re off, Soobin walking fast next to the river. The sun is going down, Yeonjun stares up into the sky as the flame within him grows hotter and more frantic than last time. Soobin’s arms around him ease the burn, but not by much. 

Yeonjun begins to squirm, he’s uncomfortable, but not in Soobin’s arms, in his own skin. It’s hot,  _ too hot _ , and his insides are tumbling with the need for release, his hole dripping slick and his cock growing harder by the second. Whines and whimpers spill out involuntarily, his heart pounds in his chest as he feels hopelessly aroused and terribly insatiable.

“It’s okay, Yeonjunnie, just a little bit longer, alpha will take care of you.” The rumble of Soobin’s chest is soothing to Yeonjun and he curls further into his mate. Soobin adjusts him, brings his face up to his neck, nose to his scent gland in an attempt to calm him down. “It’s okay.” 

Yeonjun takes lungfuls of Soobin’s scent, vanilla bean but the heat makes Yeonjun smell something else, something that makes Soobin smell even more alpha-like, something that’s purely  _ his alpha _ . It’s more of an undertone, but it’s there, deep, woody,  _ sandalwood. _ Yeonjun wouldn’t think that the two scents matched, however, here’s the proof that they do, the bittersweet smell of the vanilla bean is cut and intertwines with the savoriness of the sandalwood. 

Yeonjun licks it, can’t resist the urge, he licks the spot where a werewolf would typically mark, licks over the scent gland and  _ tastes _ his alpha,  _ tastes Soobin _ . He feels a small tingle of pride at the way it makes Soobin shudder. He’d do anything to please his alpha and if this is something Soobin likes, Yeonjun will continue doing it. 

He licks and nibbles and sucks, abuses the one spot. A bright red mark appears and slowly darkens, a bluish purple seeps into the surface of the skin, slowly fills the odd shape until the red is no longer visible. Yeonjun doesn’t stop there, he keeps sucking, planting light kisses over it in apology, and then continues to assault it. 

Soobin growls at him, high in his throat with a slight whine to it. “Stop it, omega, I’m barely controlling myself now,” Soobin kisses the top of Yeonjun’s head, he holds Yeonjun closer, tighter, butting his nose against Yeonjun’s forehead affectionately. 

“Alpha...I need you,” Yeonjun whispers to him, feeling the force of his heat pushing out slick, itching beneath his skin, a fogginess covering his rationality, his modesty, at this point, Yeonjun doesn’t care, he just needs to be fucked and knotted. 

“You’ll have me soon, baby, soon,” Soobin reassures. Yeonjun shifts in his arms, planting feather light, open mouthed kisses. Yeonjun has to occupy himself, he can’t allow his mind to linger on his body because it’ll only make the heat worse. 

The previous release helped, but not a lot, the only reason he’s isn’t writhing, isn’t wriggling in pain is because of Soobin’s arms wrapped around him, holding him closer, and the thick potency of his scent wafting into Yeonjun’s nose. 

His mind is gone, stuck in a heated haze that he can’t break out of. There’s the smallest bit of common sense that’s telling Yeonjun he’s being desperate and horny, but there isn’t enough to beat out the heat that’s taken complete control of Yeonjun’s actions. 

“We’re here, Yeonjunnie,” Soobin sets him down on his wobbly legs, guides him onto his hands and knees so he can crawl into the tent, Soobin crawling in after him. 

Suddenly, the flames flare, spike intensely, harshly, and Yeonjun yells in pain as it comes back full force the mere second he’s not touching Soobin. He falls onto the furs covering the earthy floor and whimpers, jerks while pain spikes in his body. His natural slick surges from his tight hole, paints over his ass cheeks and his thighs messily, spilling onto the carpeting beneath. 

“Alpha, please,” Yeonjun begs, he needs Soobin, he needs him desperately, needs his cock, needs his  _ knot _ .

“I’m here, Yeonjun, I’m here,” Soobin soothes and moves Yeonjun,  _ manhandles _ him into a stretched out position so he’s not crunched in on himself. Yeonjun loves it, he loves it and he needs it, mewls in pain to hold onto Soobin’s undivided attention, to make sure he’s paying attention to him and only him, to his  _ omega _ . 

Yeonjun cries out, pain shooting through his body mercilessly. “Please, Soobin! Hurry up! I-I need you so badly, alpha, so, so much!”

Soobin makes quick work, bends down and translates his message through a heated, frantic kiss. He’s telling Yeonjun to save his begging for later, when he’s fucking him dumb and silly, fucking him so good that he’ll never know pleasure unless it’s on Soobin’s knot. 

Soobin kisses his lips, starts to bite,  _ nip _ at it to make it sting, teases his tongue along the seam of Yeonjun’s closed mouth, requesting invitation inside. Yeonjun grants access and Soobin dominates his mouth, asserts his position, takes - no -  _ demands  _ control, dips inside without hesitation, and Yeonjun lets him, allows him to take whatever he wants from him because he’s too far gone to not want what Soobin’s giving  _ and _ taking. 

A hand skims down his side while the other busies with a dusty nipple, twisting and rubbing and flicking. Yeonjun hums into his mouth and moans, Soobin swallowing them hungrily,  _ greedily _ . Eventually he pulls away, then he starts  _ talking.  _

“So wet already, omega,” Yeonjun can’t with Soobin, he should shut up before Yeonjun  _ loses his goddamn mind _ , “such a wet little hole and all for  _ me _ .” 

Yeonjun moans like a whore, the sluttiest sound he can produce because that’s the only way he can respond to Soobin without begging for his knot in return. He keens underneath the attention and he arches high so he has some contact with Soobin, though it’s very limited contact.

“You’re loud, Yeonjun,” Soobin’s smirk is the  _ bane _ of Yeonjun’s existence, “loud for your alpha, I wonder how loud you can get with the right motivation.” 

Yeonjun wants to hate Soobin because he’s  _ teasing  _ him, all bark and no bite. He  _ is _ touching Yeonjun, but not nearly as much as Yeonjun needs. Doesn’t he see how desperate Yeonjun is? How much he needs this right now?

“I’ve only ever touched you twice, and you’re still so  _ sensitive _ , baby,” Soobin whispers to him, kisses down Yeonjun’s cheek, his neck, his pectoral, then scrapes his teeth on the tender skin around his bud until his teeth close on it and he tugs. 

Slick floods from his hole, no doubt soaking the furs and Yeonjun’s lower half. Sparks of pleasure fly from the fire of his heat, rushing a pretty preen from his swollen lips. “ _ Please _ .” Yeonjun pleads with Soobin, he needs Soobin now and he’s only dragging this out, prolonging his heat more than it should be prolonged.

“I wonder,” Soobin soothes his tongue over the teeth marks left from the bite, a silent apology for the way he abused it, “since you’re so sensitive, could you cum just from my fingers?” He digs his tongue into the bud, does that for a second or two before flattening his tongue over it and licking rather erotically, the picture itself sin and Yeonjun knows that even after this, he’ll remember this Soobin. 

Groans mixing with his whines, Yeonjun contradicts himself, arching his back as his hands find purchase in Soobin’s hair, pushing his wicked mouth down onto his nub, and saying, “please stop teasing me.” It’s not a command but it doesn’t come out as polite as he intended it to be. 

“It’s either I tease and you hang off my knot soon, or I don’t tease you, and leave you here, without me,” Soobin isn’t that cruel, Yeonjun knows Soobin would never do that, would really give into Yeonjun if he asked him more seriously, would give him the world and more if he wanted, but the threat sends a shiver down his spine, the sense of danger gripping his throat and constricting his breath till he can barely breathe in the best way possible. It doesn’t help that Soobin growls and snaps his jaws at Yeonjun’s neck.

Soobin is a  _ predator _ and clearly, Yeonjun is the prey. Naturally, Yeonjun submits with a whimper and the toss of his head to the side, exposing his neck, making himself vulnerable to the alpha. Soobin growls once more, a sound low and deep in his chest, “That’s what I thought.” 

Yeonjun wants to reply with something smart, something cleverly sassy, something that would make Soobin lose it and be even rougher with him. In fact, he opens his mouth in an attempt to say something against Soobin’s words, but he’s cut off by Soobin slipping a finger inside of him, drawing out a sound of confusion. It’s a foreign sensation, very weird, he gasps at the intrusion. 

Soobin continues to introduce his fingers into Yeonjun, he’s not particularly slow, but he takes a moderate pace, pushing them deep and searching for something. It feels good, but the fire inside him is not satisfied,  _ rages _ ,  _ blazes _ because Yeonjun needs more, more than what Soobin’s giving him. 

“ _ Alpha please _ …” 

“Please what, Yeonjunnie?” 

“Please-please more, I-I want more, Soobin, more please?” Yeonjun begs, and Soobin gives it to him. 

Soobin plunges in two more fingers alongside the first, finding no resistance from his rim despite this being Yeonjun’s first time. “What a good omega you are, Yeonjun, so good for me. You’re my good boy, aren’t you?” 

Yeonjun squirms on Soobin’s fingers. They crook and poke and push inside of the slick, heated walls, twisting just right once, and prodding at the most pleasurable bundle of nerves within Yeonjun. “ _ Yes! Right there! _ ” 

“Found it,” Soobin smirks and misses it purposely, throwing Yeonjun off and dragging a whine out. He pokes around it, shifts slightly to the left of it, slightly to the right of it, sends his fingers in deep and Yeonjun  _ throbs _ ,  _ pulsates _ around Soobin’s fingers. But then he’ll hit it, head on, quick enough, fast enough to shoot pleasure up Yeonjun’s body without letting it stay for what he deems as too long. 

Yeonjun pouts at Soobin and fucks himself back on his long, thick fingers, moaning, groaning when he manages to strike his own prostate luckily. Soobin teases him though, shifts his fingers too far left or too far right or skims over it with his nail, passing it the tiniest bit. 

“Soobin!” Yeonjun whines petulantly, growling at him weakly, retracting his earlier statement of thinking Soobin isn’t cruel. This might be worse than Soobin leaving him alone, at least then he would’ve been able to get himself off. 

“Yes?”

“Stop teasing me, please! I-I’ve been so-so good and I want it now! Please, Soobin,  _ alpha _ , it hurts!” Yeonjun feels so desperate for Soobin, he just might have to take control of the situation. It doesn’t sound like a bad idea, pushing Soobin on his back and sinking down onto his knot, riding him, chasing after his own pleasure, finding his own satisfaction, his own relief, his  _ climax _ . 

“Baby,” Soobin’s voice is lower than usual, more  _ sensual _ , his eyes half-lidded, body hovering over Yeonjun, “If you want something, all you have to do is ask.” 

“Will-will you give it to me, alpha? Please?” Yeonjun feels his breath stolen when Soobin presses his fingers deeper inside. 

“Give you what? Be specific, omega,” Soobin leans down and kisses Yeonjun’s lips, a filthy kiss that leaves Yeonjun even more breathless. 

“I-I want your cock, your knot, s-so badly, alpha, I  _ need  _ it.” Yeonjun brings his hands up and around Soobin’s neck, fingers digging into the hair on his nape. 

Soobin kisses Yeonjun to shush him while he pulls his fingers out. His hole clenches, flutters furiously, winks frantically and waits for something to stretch it open and fill it. Yeonjun huffs through his nose at the empty feeling within him, kisses Soobin deeply to distract himself from the scalding heat that’s still wafting from the fire and the emptiness. 

Yeonjun desires to be filled to the brim, so full that he’ll never be empty ever again, stuffed and sated by Soobin’s knot and his cum. He can’t wait, Yeonjun needs Soobin  _ now _ . 

Yeonjun’s never had such filthy thoughts in his life, he’s almost in disbelief. He had never been allowed to indulge in sexual activities, nevermind dirty thoughts, he couldn’t even have friends, let alone a lover. 

And yet here he is, hot and horny,  _ literally _ . Soobin is the one indulging him, feeding his desires, giving him all his love, allowing him to be vulnerable. Yeonjun’s body is alight with arousal and he’s ready to embrace the passion, the love that Soobin is bringing to him - minus the teasing foreplay. 

Yeonjun stares at Soobin as he pulls away and discards his clothes, Yeonjun’s clothes having been removed for a while now. He didn’t even notice he had been the only one naked, probably because he was so hot and desperate that he couldn’t think of anything else, but here he is, naked and watching his alpha get ready for him. 

Soobin’s stature is beautiful, Yeonjun would’ve believed he was an angel if he hadn’t met him as a werewolf first. His body is lean, but there’s a slight build to it from the activities he’s done around camp, shapely arms, not too much muscle but enough for Yeonjun’s nails to bite into, a well-structured collar bone to support the long column that holds his head, the junction between his neck and shoulder showing off proudly. Yeonjun can’t stop staring at the spot and feels the odd urge to grow out his canines and sink his teeth there, to  _ mark _ what’s  _ his _ . He holds back though, they’re not completely there yet.

Tearing his eyes away, Yeonjun scans over the faint lines on his abdomen, Yeonjun’s tongue  _ yearns _ to lick at it, to kiss and lick and suck and bite and leave his mark anyway he can on Soobin, he looks too tasty and Yeonjun is yet to have a bite. 

His gaze lands on Soobin’s dick next and -  _ holy cow,  _ Soobin is  _ huge _ . Yeonjun knew previous to this moment that alpha’s were created with bigger... _ assets _ than omegas, hence why Yeonjun can tell that he’s always been a bit on the smaller side. It’s veiny, flushed red where it stands arrogantly, and Yeonjun’s longs for it inside him, fucking away the heat and bringing Yeonjun to the very peak of pleasure. 

Soobin adjusts himself over Yeonjun, connects their lips, guides the bulbous head to Yeonjun’s inviting entrance, and... _ teases him _ . Yeonjun has never hated, needed, and  _ loved _ Soobin more in his life. 

“Ask me, omega, ask me for it,  _ beg me for it _ ,” Soobin breathes out, brushes his lips over Yeonjun’s in chaste, breathtaking pecks, the head catching on the rim before slipping away in a repeated manner. 

Yeonjun’s moan turns into a whine and he tries his best to rut down when the head kisses his hole, paints the outside with it’s pretty fluid that’s all telling of Soobin’s arousal. Yeonjun’s eyes water, he can’t take it anymore. “ _ Please, alpha, please _ .” 

“Please what, Yeonjunnie?” Soobin makes intense eye contact with Yeonjun, traps his eyes, his gaze, locks them together and throws away the key. “Tell me, baby.” 

Staring him dead in the eye, with the most serious expression Yeonjun can conjure, he whispers, ever so softly, ever so faintly, “ _ make me yours _ .” 

Soobin enters him, slowly, penetrates Yeonjun, bottoms out without stopping. Yeonjun’s mouth falls open and eyebrows furrow in silence because he can feel  _ every single inch _ of Soobin, almost scared Soobin won’t fit with how long it takes his hips to finally meet Yeonjun’s ass. 

Slick streams from his hole, covers Soobin’s alpha cock generously, and Yeonjun can feel the tips of the flames within him receding. Without warrant, Soobin moves, again, slowly, but he builds up his speed, his pace, thrusting in and makes Yeonjun feel good. 

“So loud, Yeonjunnie, the whole pack might hear you,” Soobin scolds in a grunt as he punches the sounds from Yeonjun’s vocal chords. 

What used to be a languid manner has now evolved into a hammering effort to bring Yeonjun close, his core pulling tight, tugging taunt, and it’s only been mere  _ minutes _ . Yeonjun holds Soobin, Soobin’s hovering body weight grounding Yeonjun, keeping him from floating too high and too far away. 

Yeonjun babbles, believes he’s saying real words because Soobin speeds up and goes harder as he had intended to request. He wails, Soobin’s wrecking him,  _ ruining  _ him too good, too well. Yeonjun feels like he’ll explode and that’s what he does, he cums embarrassingly quick, spills on his own stomach, icy winds vibrating his body, making him shiver and quake. 

Soobin helps to work him through it then stops abruptly when he sees Yeonjun coming back to himself and Yeonjun complains because he’s still hard and very much in need of a knot. The orgasm felt great and Soobin had even managed to milk it for all it was worth, but the flames haven’t died out, if anything they’ve come back with a vengeance, insatiable without a knot. It wouldn’t be taken down so easy like last time. 

“No, no, no,  _ please _ , don’t stop, don’t stop!” Yeonjun cries, resorting to thrusting down on Soobin’s cock because there’s no time to stop so why isn’t he going?

He’s confused, Soobin, his sweet, stupid, lovable,  _ dumb  _ alpha is perplexed because he should be oversensitive, he should be finished, but Yeonjun’s isn’t and neither is his heat. “I don’t wanna-”

“Alpha! Please, don’t stop, finish in me,  _ knot me _ ,” Yeonjun pants and grouses at him, feels like there’s something bigger, something even better than a cock orgasm waiting for him and it can only be caused by Soobin’s knot.

“Are you sure?” Soobin looks worried but he’s already lining back up with Yeonjun’s hole. Yeonjun’s heart swells at the concern written on his face, but he ignores it for now because he needs to get knotted. “I don’t want to hurt you, Yeonjun, I love you too much to do that.” 

Yeonjun growls and pulls Soobin in for an aggressive kiss, pressing hard as if to punish him. “Look, Soobin, I love you too, but I need you to knot me before I lose my fucking mind.” The words lose impact as he’s speaking, his tone whiny and high pitched by the end. 

Soobin pauses. “You love me?” He smiles at Yeonjun adoringly.

Yeonjun falls back and pouts, feeling emotional because he only wants one thing and Soobin is taking too long. “Soobinnie!” He’s huffy like a little child and he knows it, but he can’t help it, the itch of heat underneath his skin is uncomfortable and the fire in his belly hasn’t stopped roaring. 

“S-sorry,” Soobin shakes himself out of it and thrusts back into Yeonjun, forcing out a moan of gratitude from Yeonjun’s cherry red lips. Soobin groans with the undertone of a growl and fucks into Yeonjun, impales him on his cock with a renewed fervor. 

“H-Harder-  _ ah! _ ” Yeonjun gasps, biting down on his lip harshly. 

“You take it  _ so well _ , omega,” Soobin huffs with effort and hits his prostate, drawing out a longer, even louder moan than before. “You’re so loud,” he leans down and breathes out near his ear, “I wonder if I can get you screaming in pleasure.” 

Yeonjun whimpers at the dirty talk, he can’t handle it, he feels himself moving closer to the edge of pleasure, his mouth opening wide as Soobin continues to stab at his prostate with his cock head. 

“But we can’t have that, now can we, Yeonjun?” Soobin sits up straight, dick still snug inside, bringing Yeonjun’s legs around his hips and spreading out his knees so he can fuck him better. 

The new angle only works to make Yeonjun louder. Yeonjun doesn’t care at this point, the whole damn camp can hear him, that would be future Yeonjun’s problem. Right now, shots of pleasure repeatedly wrack through his body and he digs his heels into the small of Soobin’s back to push him in deeper, a signal for him to go even harder, even more animalistic than before. 

Soobin holds his waist and brings Yeonjun down onto his cock each time, sliding his back against the soft furs, and railing into him from below, as hard as he can manage because Yeonjun’s asking for it.

Though Yeonjun never expected this, one hand gripping his waist so tightly that he’s bound to leave bruises and the other crawling up his chest, making a pit stop to tweak a nipple, then climbing up to his mouth and diving in. Yeonjun, upon pure instinct, sucks on the digits, muffling his own sounds. 

“So pretty for me like this, Yeonjun, but I’m the only one who can hear you like this, do you know why?” The question is too obviously rhetorical, Yeonjun’s mouth is full and he can barely process Soobin’s words, let alone think of and deliver a proper response. “Because you’re  _ mine _ and only  _ mine _ .” 

The possessiveness leaking from Soobin, the alpha pheromones that flare whenever he calls Yeonjun his, is hot, so hot Yeonjun thinks it shouldn’t be allowed. If Soobin spoke like that to him constantly, Yeonjun’s sure he would’ve blown his load a long time ago. 

Yeonjun sucks on the fingers in his mouth, he doesn’t mind them, it feels good, feels nice, having the weight of Soobin’s digits pressing down on his tongue. He can still make noise, but it’s quieter, which is probably a save for future Yeonjun, and he isn’t babbling unintelligibly like a fucked out idiot, though he definitely feels like one. 

Soobin’s knot swells a bit and starts to bump against Yeonjun’s rim, slipping past and dragging out with the rim reluctant to let go. Yeonjun feels so close and he’s so close to getting Soobin’s knot, but just as he’s about to get exactly what he’s needed the whole time, Soobin pulls out, leaving Yeonjun to whine around his fingers. 

Soobin taps Yeonjun on the hip, “Unlock your legs for me, Yeonjun.” Yeonjun listens instead of complaining because Soobin has an idea, it’s too bright in his eyes for Yeonjun not to notice. He unhooks his legs from around Soobin’s waist and is taken by surprise when Soobin takes the fingers from his mouth and, after wiping them on the furs, flips him over onto his stomach. 

Yeonjun gasps because of the sudden movement, but preens when his hard cock drags and creates friction against the soft furs. He’s caught off guard when Soobin lines up and thrusts in once more, his hips driving in even harder, like Soobin is giving 110% of his effort to make Yeonjun feel good. 

Each time, he hits Yeonjun’s prostate, but the way Soobin is moving within him is like he’s looking for more, for something else. Yeonjun’s not sure what that something else could be. Nonetheless, he keeps going, railing into Yeonjun hard and fast, hips slapping his ass, hands clutching Yeonjun’s sides so deliciously firm, he’ll have bruises  _ over _ his bruises. 

Yeonjun’s loud again, volume all the way up while his ass is dominated by his alpha. He grips at the furs beneath him, holds on for dear life, Soobin diving in deeper and deeper each time. 

Soobin starts talking again, in little grunts and bursts of wind, but Yeonjun can make out what he’s saying, “If there’s,” punch to the prostate, “one thing I learned,” brushing but going past, “about,” one thrust, “omegas,” two more thrusts, one to the prostate, one grazing over it, “always go for,” he plunges in deeper than Yeonjun thought was possible, “the entrance,” then he strikes it, quick like a snake capturing its prey. 

Yeonjun screams and cums again, but Soobin doesn’t let him off the hook this time, he speeds up, knot swelling bigger, and continues to strike the place that brings Yeonjun mind-numbing pleasure. Yeonjun hasn’t a single clue what Soobin is incessantly hitting, but it has Yeonjun drowning in pleasure. 

Soobin drapes over Yeonjun’s back which only makes him ram into ‘the entrance’, as he had called it, more accurately, more precisely, more directly and Yeonjun is all for it. Wave after wave of pleasure blows Yeonjun out of the water, eyes glazed over, body jerking and trembling with every thrust. “Does it feel good, mate? Is your alpha making you feel good, Yeonjunnie?” Soobin is so clearly affected, as he should be seeing as Yeonjun’s clenching around him in a vice grip.

Yeonjun can only reply with a sob, pleasure rushing forward and crashing into him hard, a small litany of  _ “uh, uh, uh” _ to follow it. 

“I’m gonna knot you so good, omega, so good that all you’ll be able to think about is my knot.” Moon goddess, does Soobin keep  _ that _ promise. 

Soobin fucks forward, gets sloppier, his knot growing until it pops, locks them together and Soobin can only grind, his knot rubbing against his prostate while the head of his cock bumps the other special spot within Yeonjun. 

It’s too much, the stimulation is too much, Yeonjun loses his mind to the pleasure, clenches down on Soobin once, twice, _three_ times, then cums and _squirts_ his messy slick at the same time while Soobin fills him with string after string of white. Unconsciously emitting an omegan purr, Yeonjun feels an icy rain pitter and patter over his body, extinguishing the flame in his belly, cooling his skin, clearing the hot haze in his mind. He orgasms for a long while, to the point he blacks out.

+++

Yeonjun’s eyes flutter open and he blinks a few times to clear the exhaustion and the fogginess. There’s a feather light touch against his neck then another and Yeonjun furrows his eyebrows until he realizes it’s Soobin’s lips peppering small kisses on the expanse of his neck. 

“S-Soobin?” 

Soobin hugs him tighter to his chest. “You’re awake, finally,” he chuckles lightly, “you worried me a bit there, I thought I might’ve been too...rough.” 

Yeonjun looks over his shoulder at his mate. “N-no, I-I liked it, a-a lot. What-what did you d-do?”

“Well, omega’s have womb’s, and I was hitting the womb entrance. That’s what caused you to squirt.” Soobin laughs at Yeonjun’s unintelligible ‘huh’ that follows after his statement. “I’m glad you liked it, but I really should’ve thought this through before coming in here and fucking your brains out.” 

It’s then that Yeonjun is reminded that Soobin is knotted to him. He clenches down on it subconsciously at the thought. Soobin grunts and Yeonjun giggles. “Y-You didn’t have time, I was too horny.” 

“But still, I’m your alpha, I should be prepared for things like this.” 

Yeonjun’s eyebrows furrow and he sighs, “Soobin, you do realize that you were in a coma and that I’m lucky you even woke up at all? You were just in a coma,” Yeonjun feels tears welling in his eyes, the heat is making him emotional, “and you  _ still _ took care of me. Don’t undermine what happened because you couldn’t do something for me, you’ve done more than enough, alpha, you’ve done too much for me.” He breaks down in soft cries and Soobin is there in an instant,  _ like he always is _ . 

“Oh no, I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to upset you, I just...I wish there was more I could do for you,” Soobin uses a hand to catch and wipe away Yeonjun’s tears. 

“You’ve already done enough for me, in fact, I-I should be the one taking care of you, but-but my stupid heat-” Yeonjun squeezes out more tears, pouting at his mate. 

Soobin shakes his head. “I’m your alpha, I’m supposed to take care of you, Yeonjun.” 

“I’m supposed to take care of you too!” Yeonjun exclaims, reaching up a hand and wiping at the tears Soobin misses. 

“Okay, okay,” Soobin swipes away the last of his tears and leans forward, kisses Yeonjun’s wet cheek, “then we can take care of each other, how about that, Yeonjunnie? Hmm…?”

Yeonjun sniffles and nods, “O-okay, we...we can do that.” 

With doting eyes and a sunny smile that rivals the last rays of sunshine breaking through the closed tent flaps, Soobin says, “I love you so much, my Yeonjunnie.” 

“I love you too, Soobinnie.” Yeonjun replies with a soft smile of his own despite the red eyes and left over tear tracks. 

“Say it again.” 

“I love you.” 

“Again.” 

Yeonjun speaks with an open heart full of conviction and authenticity. 

“I love you, Soobin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm drinking holy water as we speak 
> 
> (hope you liked the chapter ;] thanks for reading and for the lovely comments  
> just to let you know, after i post this chapter, i will be putting up a poll on my   
> twitter about a decision on the book, i'm letting you decide and you don't have   
> to follow unless you want, you can just vote, no pressure, thanks again and hope  
> y'all are having a good night or day or whatever time it is for you!)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


	23. Chapter 23

Yeonjun traps his bottom lip between his punishing teeth as he grips the fur carpeting beneath them. His ass is up, his body bent forward because Soobin manhandled him into this position and is currently plowing through Yeonjun like he wants to make him see stars. 

Yeonjun clenches down and whimpers desperately, the heat under his skin simmering with anticipation for Soobin’s knot and seed. He’s trying not to be loud, he really is, but Soobin is set on forcing the sounds out of him, probably so he could embarrass him because he knows Yeonjun loves it even if he won’t admit it. 

“So good for me, Yeonjunnie, my omega,” Soobin moans, thrusts into him deeply, strikes his prostate many times. 

“ _ Uh _ ,” Is Yeonjun’s only reply, he can’t say anything, the words are having a hard time getting out.

Soobin kisses down his spine, kisses at the back of his nape and coerces shudders and shivers through his pliant body. His hand is gripping the back of Yeonjun’s hair, he’s not pulling too hard, but just enough for Yeonjun to feel it. 

Yeonjun feels himself coming close, feels the beginnings of icy water starting to trickle through his system and he can’t help but make more glottal noises, enough of them to tell Soobin he’s really about to cum. 

So, logically, Soobin stops moving, and he hears about it. Yeonjun whines at him, glaring weakly while also pleading for him to continue. 

“I want to see you cum for me, omega,” Yeonjun groans at the vulgar words, feels heat crawl up his cheeks while he’s being flipped around.

Soobin’s knot hasn’t formed yet, but it should be soon. If Soobin can stave off Yeonjun’s orgasm for so long while he’s in heat, then he can definitely do the same with himself. 

Yeonjun can feel how the heat flares weakly in his body, though he’s never been through this before, he can tell it’s about to be over and he’ll just need to finish resting to regain all the energy it has drained from him. 

Yeonjun can also feel the push of his canines, they urge to elongate and break free. It had only started recently, yesterday actually, and Yeonjun wasn’t sure what it was but he found that every time they fucked that day, he would feel the pressure behind his teeth, in his gums, and his eyes would fixate the slightest bit to the right of the junction of Soobin’s neck.

Curious, Yeonjun had asked and Soobin explained, told him that it was their wolves wanting to complete the mating process by marking each other, also unlocking the mind link between them, told him that he felt the same urge but he would wait for Yeonjun to say whether he can or not. 

Yeonjun thought about the explanation, pondered on it and figured that he really wouldn’t mind being bitten and marked by Soobin, in fact, he wants that to happen, he wants his mate to bite him, he wants to be connected with Soobin on that level. He’s ready and willing to complete the process. 

Here it is again, pushing, making Yeonjun pant with his mouth open and he feels how the pressure only builds until it’s stronger. The feeling is at its strongest when Soobin thrusts in again, pushing Yeonjun’s legs forward so he can reach deep within Yeonjun’s hole, reaching so far that he hits his womb opening and makes him purr again. 

Soobin clutches his hips tightly, slams inside of Yeonjun and leans down to mouth at his neck, sucking lightly. It makes Yeonjun squirm against his tight hold, especially when he can feel the canines extending against the skin of his neck. 

  
There’s this shiver of fear that travels down Yeonjun’s spine, he feels like prey, feels like he has this primal instinct to submit, but it only excites him more, makes him feel the need for Soobin to take him harder, to bite him and mark him as his own. 

His alpha noses at the spot, outlines the place he’d mark him and Yeonjun  _ wants _ it, he wants it so much. “S-Soobinnie, alpha, please-” 

“Please what, omega?” Soobin breathes in his ear, thrusting particularly hard into Yeonjun, so hard he moves past his prostate and hits the other pleasure inducing spot within him. 

Yeonjun can barely beg, his mind is hazy, but eventually, he manages to gurgle out some words between moans and groans. “I need-” It’s not right now, the words don’t come out correctly at first and it prompts Soobin to tease him before he can continue, prompts him to pound into him and whisper sensually. 

“Come on, baby, tell me what you want,” Soobin punches a loud moan from Yeonjun’s throat, Yeonjun’s mouth gaping open while he’s trying to make sense of what he wants, “I’m listening.” 

Yeonjun whines at the teasing, it’s really all he can force out while being rammed into mercilessly. He feels the stretch of Soobin’s knot against his rim, pulling and pushing back in until he can’t pull out at all. It’s swelling and Soobin is reduced to rutting shallowly and still managing to hit Yeonjun’s good spots. 

He also takes the time to grind into Yeonjun, which only serves to melt the words in his head and makes them leak out of his ears. Soobin thrusts in and gyrates his hips against Yeonjun’s. 

Yeonjun has never, ever felt as much pleasure as he has in these days of heat with Soobin. He knows that the icing on the cake, that the cherry on top would be Soobin claiming him, the mark, a symbol of their love, of the way they complete each other, of the way they would become one. 

“S-Soobinnie,” He preens and when Soobin teases him by lightly grazing his prostate, his hips making small circles and lowering the amount of stimulation he is giving to Yeonjun, at least enough to speak. With a shuddering breath, Yeonjun murmurs softly, “mark me, alpha,  _ mark me please _ .” 

His words must affect him so much that Soobin loses it. Growling deep in his chest, Soobin ruts the last couple of times inside of Yeonjun, his hips kissing Yeonjun’s flushed ass, cock pushing past his prostate so the head is slamming into his womb while his knot stimulates his prostate and then,  _ he bites _ . 

Yeonjun feels the moment Soobin’s canines extend, feels how they curve outward the slightest bit so they skim Yeonjun’s shoulder. The moment Soobin breaks the skin, Yeonjun climaxes and feels cooling waves of orgasm wash over his body, cock kicking out cum, body jerking slightly as his eyes roll up into his head. 

There’s so much stimulation, so much pleasure, so much ecstasy that Yeonjun (his wolf more of) really only has the mental capacity to extend his own canines and drive them deep into the same spot on Soobin’s shoulder. It sends Soobin high seeing as he begins painting Yeonjun’s insides with white and keeps going for what Yeonjun considers the longest out of all his days of being in heat. 

Soobin grinds deep, groaning right next to Yeonjun’s ear and Yeonjun moans, lets Soobin do as he pleases. He releases his hold on Soobin’s neck and, out of pure instinct, licks the wound clean of blood. Soobin does the same and Yeonjun can feel the way the wound begins to repair itself and scar over. 

After the blood clots, Yeonjun lays his head back, eyes closed and blissed out. There’s no underlying simmering, no scalding fires heating up his core and making it melt into the warm slick that once doused his thighs, no more burning licks to agitate his organs and skin. His heat has finally broken and he couldn’t be more thankful to the moon goddess. 

Yeonjun so out of it that it takes him a minute to realize Soobin is mumbling beneath his breath, right next to Yeonjun’s ear, low enough to almost be inaudible but thanks to his supernatural hearing, he’s able to catch the words.    
  


“I-I love...love you so...so much, my Yeonjunnie, my mate, love you, love-” It’s sweet, Yeonjun feels his heart melt in his chest. Even exhausted from days of heat, even unfocused and on the verge of falling asleep, Soobin can only ever manage to make Yeonjun feel special, feel at his best even when he’s at his worst. 

Yeonjun knows it’s selfish, but he wants it to stay that way.

+++

“Tell me everything that happened while I was asleep.” Soobin murmurs to him after their short nap. They’re still waiting for Soobin’s knot to go down because it’s still lodged inside of Yeonjun and it’s always taken a little bit to go down before they can disentangle from each other. 

“I got accused of terrorizing the pack, was a split second from death, got saved, and then stayed with you the rest of the time.” Yeonjun gives it to him straight, no use in trying to hide anything nor make Soobin feel bad for him suffering - there’s nothing for him to feel bad about, but this is Soobin, he’ll always find a way to blame himself. 

Soobin’s eyes almost bulge out of his head. “I’m sorry, did you just tell me you almost died?” 

Yeonjun nods and brings a hand up to Soobin’s face, brushing his fingertips delicately against his cheek. “Yes, but don’t worry, your pretty little head about it. I’m alive, I’m here, and most importantly, I’m with you.” 

“Yeonjunnie, what’s most important is that you tell me who almost killed you because I will hunt them-” Soobin growls and interrupts himself. 

“Calm down,” it’s two simple words but it seems to do the trick because Soobin sighs and leans into his touch, “it’s okay, Soobinnie, I’m okay.”

“But mate, I need to make them pay for what they did, if I couldn’t do it while in a coma, then I’ll do it now.” 

Yeonjun gives him a small smile. “That’s very nice, Soobin, but, one, you can’t kill the pack alpha, and two, there was no other choice.” 

“There’s always another choice.” 

“Not in his position.” 

“He’s the pack alpha, he could make any decision he wants,” Yeonjun is slightly shocked with the anger behind Soobin’s voice, but he remains patient with his mate. 

“Not when it doesn’t feel like it.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean that I know what it feels like, I know the exact situation. When it comes down to the safety of yourself and loved ones, it’s better not to risk it. With the werewolves back then, I was in that position, every week, my imminent demise by torture or the death of a whole pack of werewolves. For him, it was the risk of his mate and child dying or me coming back to ‘finish the job’.” 

Soobin deflates with the comparison, leans into the soft press of Yeonjun’s fingers on his cheek. 

“He didn’t have a choice, alpha, he had to do the best for the pack and for his family. For all they knew, I was a stranger, an outsider, someone they knew could very much hurt them if they really wanted to.” 

Soobin looks reluctant to voice his next question, so Yeonjun reaches up and gives him a delicate kiss as if telling him to go ahead. “How did you survive?” 

“Beomgyu,” Yeonjun whispers, “he showed up with a bag from Yoongi’s tent, it had all the evidence to prove it wasn’t me. I was on the brink of death and…” Yeonjun sighs, “all I have to say is thank the moon goddess.” 

“I’ll have to thank him for that. Without him, I might’ve woken up to a dead mate.” Tears well in Soobin’s eyes and Yeonjun can’t help the hysterical, exasperated giggle, bringing his hands up to wipe them away. 

“Stop it, Soobinnie,” Yeonjun presses a kiss to his cheek, “stop, I’m right here, I’m right here for you. I won’t ever leave you, I won’t so stop crying for me because I’m  _ not _ dead.”

Soobin shakes his head. “I’m not going to stop crying because I’m hurt, Yeonjun. I need to cry, I’ve only missed a couple days, but so much has happened. I-I almost lost you and I wasn’t even there for it!” He huffs and looks down, his cheeks tinted a slight red. 

Yeonjun frowns slightly, allows Soobin to lay down on top of him and shove his head into his neck, right over the fresh mark he left earlier. In lieu of speaking (because Yeonjun doesn’t even know how to reply to that statement), he brings his arms around Soobin’s shoulders and places his hands on the back of his head, one playing with the back of his hair and the other playing with the hair on the back of his neck. 

Soobin isn’t sobbing, Yeonjun really wouldn’t know what to do then. They’ve been together for quite some time, but Yeonjun’s never really had to console Soobin, it was usually Soobin consoling him, Soobin holding him, not the other way around. Soobin has always been the strong one, but Yeonjun guesses it’s time for him to step up and be the strong one for once. 

“I-It’s okay,” Yeonjun feels his own eyes water, Soobin’s emotions are making him emotional as well. He lightly scratches his fingernails over Soobin’s scalp, “It’s okay, alpha, I’m here. I’m here and I love you, I’ll always be here for you.” He turns his head and places a couple of gentle kisses to the side of his head. 

Yeonjun will admit, it was easier being strong when Soobin was asleep. It didn’t actually feel like he had someone depending on him, but this, it is rather challenging for Yeonjun to hold and console instead of being the one consoled. He has to do this, there’s no other way to learn because he knows Soobin can’t be the only strong one, they have to be strong  _ for _ each other as well as  _ with _ each other. 

So they stay there and Yeonjun holds Soobin tight, as tight as he possibly can. 

+++

Yeonjun loves the fresh air, it’s been days in that tent and he’s so happy to be back to normal, able to relish in the plentiful sunlight, to smell the fine, earthy scent, to listen to the rushing water splashing against the shore of dirt and rocks, to watch the birds and bees playing, swooping, teasing, to feel the way the berries roll around and stain his hands, to taste the burst of fresh fruit upon his tongue. 

The tent has been stuffy, made Yeonjun feel claustrophobic and trapped, like a caged animal. But outside, on Mother Nature’s green earth, it’s open and vast,  _ freeing _ . 

“Are you ready to head back to the camp, Yeonjunnie?”

Yeonjun turns around and smiles at him, nodding his head. He follows when Soobin gestures over to a small walkway between the bushes and the river, holds his hand out for Yeonjun to take. 

He laces his fingers with Soobin’s and they walk to the camp. It’s silent between them, but the flora and fauna make enough noise to fill the air. Yeonjun takes it all in, admiring the beauty, and he feels so good right now, so good that he feels like he can do just about anything. 

Yeonjun feels renewed, invigorated, like he can take on any challenge life wishes to throw at him. At the moment, he wants to do something spontaneous, something he knows will be fulfilling and exciting, bring a good rush into his veins. 

The walk doesn’t take as long as it felt when Yeonjun was being carried by Soobin, in heat and in desperate need, they’ve already made it to the camp with the rest of the pack. But this time, they look like they’re preparing for something. It confuses Yeonjun and when he glances at Soobin, he realizes that he’s just as caught off guard and surprised as well. 

Coincidentally, they run into Taehyun, who’s holding Hyejin in his arms. “Oh, hey guys!” He smiles widely at them, apparently glad to see them there and together. “I’m glad you’re back and I’m glad to see you’re okay, Yeonjun.” 

“Thanks,” Yeonjun smiles back but the confusion comes flashing once more, “um, what’s going on here?” 

“Oh, well, we’re moving again, but now that you two are here, we can collapse the tents and actually move. We were waiting on you because of the sudden heat. It was just a little bit of preparatory stuff before.” Taehyun readjusts Hyejin in his arms, the little girl giggling and babbling. 

She’s grown a lot since Yeonjun has last seen her. It’s only been about three or four days, but Yeonjun can see the beginnings of short hairs springing from her little head and the brightness of her personality already peeking through her glowing eyes. 

“I wondered if that might be it,” Soobin speaks up, ”it seemed like it, but I wasn’t sure.”

“You should probably let the head alpha or luna know that you’re back.” Taehyun suggests, to which Soobin nods. 

  
“Okay, we will. Thanks for letting us know.” Soobin gives him a sweet, dimpled smile and then starts walking to their tent. 

Yeonjun is just about to start following him when Taehyun puts a hand on his arm. “Um, one last thing, after the move, the alpha said that he would be picking a couple of wolves to become pack protectors. It’s usually through a test. We’ve been in need of a couple more and ever since the trail, he’s been keen on keeping the pack and his family safe.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” Yeonjun is confused again, this topic seems so...random. 

“Remember when we were in Taehyung’s class together? I was still pregnant and you were trying to become one of us. We spoke by the river while we were washing animal hides, you wanted to be a fighter or a hunter, do you recall?”

_ “...omegas aren’t supposed to fight.”  _

_ “Wouldn’t hurt to try, right? If you really want it, then go for it.” _

Bits and pieces of the conversation pop up in his mind, and yes, in fact, Yeonjun does remember that conversation. “You think I should try?”

“Now is your time to prove them wrong about us omegas. I mean, before this, before coming here, you were capable of so much and I know you still are. If the dainty life for the ideal omega isn’t for you, it wouldn’t hurt to try and figure out if fighting for this pack is, right?” Taehyun looks at his daughter, “Aren’t I right, Hyejin?” She squeals loudly and claps her hands while nodding her head. 

Yeonjun smiles and chuckles at Hyejin’s unknowing yet blatant agreement with her father. “I’ll think about it.” 

“But do you really need to think?” Taehyun raises an eyebrow and nods once at Yeonjun before letting him go and continuing on in the direction he was going. 

Yeonjun glances after him and then walks away, following after Soobin, who’s talking to the head alpha. The head alpha is just finished giving him a hug when he walks up to the two. 

Namjoon’s smile is sheepish as he greets Yeonjun. “Hey, Yeonjun.” 

Yeonjun returns the smile genuinely. “Hey, alpha.”    
  
Soobin growls,  _ snarls _ then slaps a hand over his mouth when the other two look at him in slight surprise and shock. “Sorry, I-”

“It’s okay, Soobin,” Namjoon chuckles and smirks while looking between the two of them, “don’t think I didn’t notice the mating marks on your shoulders.” 

“Is that why you growled at him?” Yeonjun asks. 

“Sort of,” Heat drapes itself over Soobin’s cheeks, “it-it was the word, when you called him alpha, my wolf didn’t like it.” 

“How else should I address him then?” Yeonjun snorts with a slight scoff at Soobin’s wolf’s ridiculousness. 

“Head alpha is just fine,” Namjoon says. “I’ll see you guys later, I must start telling people to pack their things so we can move, we’ve already prepared everything else. I know you two might be tired now, I hope you don’t mind.” 

“Of course not,” Soobin shakes his head, “if Yeonjun gets tired, I’ll just carry him. It’s no big deal.” He shrugs. 

“And if Soobin gets tired, I’ll carry him.” Yeonjun replies and Namjoon along with Soobin laugh as if Yeonjun told a joke. “What? What did I say?” 

“Nothing, it’s nothing, I’ll see you two later,” With that, Namjoon is off, stopping by different tents to talk with other wolves in the pack. 

“Soobin, what did I say?” Yeonjun asks, brows furrowed with confusion and slight annoyance. 

“It was just funny how you said you would carry me,” Soobin shrugs and smiles while he gestures for Yeonjun to come with him to the tents.

“Why would that be funny?” 

Soobin shrugs, “I don’t know, I guess just because we don’t hear that every day. It’s kind of funny just thinking about an omega picking up an alpha.” 

“Oh.” Is all Yeonjun can reply with. They get to their tent and clear out their things (just a couple animal hides really). Yeonjun holds the items in his hands while Soobin breaks down the tent and as he’s watching, he thinks about the previous conversation.

Yeonjun doesn’t mean to dwell on it, but he can’t help the budding annoyance in his chest. He doesn’t want to jump to conclusions or assume he knows what they’re both thinking, but he can make a pretty well educated guess about why they laughed. 

They’re undermining omega’s abilities just as the pack traditions do, keeping omegas in a certain spot and talking them down when they want to branch out to do something that an alpha or beta typically does. 

But it doesn’t matter what they think now, it’ll only matter after he’s joined the test and earned himself a rightful place next to the other fighters. 

+++

It was an exhausting trip to get there, took them the rest of the day and part of the night to make it, but they did it and now it’s morning. Yeonjun didn’t stumble or fall or even tell Soobin when the muscles in his legs started to weaken, though it was probably telling by the way Yeonjun sprawled out while Soobin prepared their tent for the night. Yeonjun crawled into the tent that night because he absolutely refused to have Soobin carry him inside despite his offer. 

Now it’s morning and Yeonjun has woken up to a beautiful landscape with sunlight trickling onto it. Instead of being surrounded by trees like last time, they’re in an open field of short grass and there’s another river, not as wide as the last, but still pretty big and it flows all the way until it waterfalls off a small cliff with a pool of water beneath it. He sees the way the rocks act as stairs at first before completely straightening out. 

He’s been exploring for a bit now. The area is gorgeous, Yeonjun can’t get enough of it. There’s a forest behind them filled with plenty of animals, berry bushes inside the forest as well, and a water source, so it’s not hard to understand why the head alpha chose this place. 

“I wonder what time the test starts?” Yeonjun wonders to himself as he peeks over the cliff to watch the water slip off the edge and down into the pool below. 

_ Will you let me out? _ Yeonjun hears his internal omega ask. 

Yeonjun doesn’t reply, but he relinquishes control and the omega overtakes his eyes at first, flashing them around to look and then he shifts into wolf form. Thankfully, his omega had been considerate enough to take off his clothing before at least, so they’re still intact.

This must be what it’s like for his omega all the time, feeling like he’s pushed, cramped into a corner within Yeonjun’s mind. It’s weird, but he’ll allow his wolf to have fun outside of it for now. 

They start by running along the edge of the cliff before his omega takes off into the woods, having picked up on an intriguing sound. His omega sniffs around and observes all the plants surrounding him, shoving his snout into the bushes, pawing underneath smaller plants, digging at the base of trees to explore and figure out the inner workings. 

It’s not until a squirrel catches his attention and he steps over silently, stooping down, watching the prey. He’s never done this before, but Yeonjun trusts his wolf’s instincts to guide him into catching it. 

First, his omega inhales deeply, but slowly, enough to taste the smell of squirrel. Then he watches how it moves, the quicker movements and the not so quick movements, the way it’s oblivious to his presence while it sniffs at small rocks and leaves until it finds a nut. He creeps closer the tiniest bit, he’s about to pounce, builds up the power in his front and hind legs, ready to leap out and chomp down on the squirrel when-

“Yeonjun?” 

His omega and the squirrel both freeze for a moment, then it flees, scaling the nearest tree and finding safety upon a branch. Yeonjun’s omega whines, looking up to Soobin and glaring lightly because his omega isn’t really mad at their mate for interrupting, a little disappointed about the squirrel, but not mad. 

“Hey, little omega,” Soobin greets Yeonjun’s wolf, petting through his fur. “We have to go really soon, so is it okay if I ask for my Yeonjunnie back?” 

The omega whines, even throws in a yip and a bitter,  _ he wants you _ , before giving up his control and letting Yeonjun shift back into his human form. Yeonjun looks up at Soobin with a smile and his heart flutters when Soobin smiles back at him. 

“The head alpha has called a meeting, he wants everyone to witness the test for the pack protectors,” Soobin hands him his clothing as he tells him, “they’re fighters for the pack. It’s gonna be so cool. But if you get uncomfortable, like some wolves do, we don’t have to go or we can leave any time.” 

Yeonjun hums and nods, slipping on his clothing and standing to his full height. “Okay, let’s go. I want to see it.” 

_ You should tell him your plans _ , his omega says. 

_ That would take away the surprise _ , he replies.

_ But what if he needs to protect you?  _

_ Soobin doesn’t have to protect me, I can protect myself just fine. _

_ But you haven’t done any fighting in a long time _ . 

_ Okay, so I may be a little rusty, but it’ll be fine.  _

_ Do you really want to revisit those memories? _

Then there’s a separate voice that shocks Yeonjun out of his head and sounds familiar,  _ what’s going on up here? _

Yeonjun stumbles back a bit and looks at Soobin’s smirking face. “Did you forget about the mind link we have now?”

Yes, actually, Yeonjun did forget about that. “Does that mean you can hear conversations between me and my wolf?” 

“No, those are private.” Then Soobin narrows his eyes, “Why? Are you talking bad about me?” 

“No! Uh, um, actually, we were just going back and forth, bickering because he wants more attention from you. He’s a bit of an attention whore at heart,” Yeonjun chuckles awkwardly and scratches the back of his neck suspiciously, but Soobin seems to buy it. 

_ Am not!  _ His wolf complains.

_ Shut up! _

“Oh, okay, well, tell him I’ll be paying more attention to him in the future.” Soobin smiles and nods his head to the side to signal Yeonjun to walk with him. 

_ Really? _ Yeonjun internally barfs at the dreamy sigh from his omega, he can already imagine the heart eyes he’s directing at Soobin. He decides to ignore him.

They walk together towards the new meeting area, another part of the clearing near the area their tents are settled on. It’s further to the left of the tents and a bit farther from the river. Everyone is there, gathered together and watching the head alpha and luna. 

Soobin and Yeonjun join them and Namjoon speaks. 

“I think everyone here knows what this is for, but if you don’t, then I’ll break it down a bit. If there are any brave souls who wish to challenge each other for three spots in our small group of protectors, then please step up. We do this every couple of years, so I’m changing it up a bit, we’re starting with hand to hand combat for the first round and once we get the contenders down, I’ll tell you when to shift and the rest of the fight will continue until there’s three left.

“Does everyone understand?” He receives a collective murmur of agreement and he smiles. “Okay, if anyone feels uncomfortable or anything, feel free to leave and join my mate in the middle of the camp where he’ll be interacting with others and taking care of our son.” 

Not a lot of people leave, some omegas, a couple betas, maybe one or two alphas, all the babies and children are taken away or have left (of course). It only makes the situation feel even more real than it was a second ago.

“Alright, for those who wish to step up, please do so now.” Namjoon says. Four alphas and three beta. Yeonjun must admit that there’s a small thing of fear implanted in his heart, but he blames it on his inner omega. 

“Is that it?” Namjoon asks and another beta joins in, bringing the total to eight wolves. 

Most of them are taller and stronger than Yeonjun, one or two are possibly the same height or shorter, but the majority could probably take him down with a straight punch to the jaw. Yeonjun thinks he’ll be on defense mostly. 

“Come on, that’s all? No more takers?” Another alpha. “That’s all? This is the final calling.” 

So Yeonjun decides to be brave, though he does think he might be slightly stupid for doing this, and he steps out. One omega.

There’s a collective gasp in the crowd, but Yeonjun can barely hear it over the thundering of his heart, his eyes looking over the competition. 

“Yeonjun?” Namjoon asked, eyebrows furrowed. “What do you think you’re doing? This is no place for an omega.” 

‘W-why not? You...you said anyone could join, and I-I want to join.” Yeonjun can’t breathe, but does his best to keep himself calm and not freak himself out. 

“You can’t, it’s too dangerous.” Namjoon denies, but Yeonjun doesn’t stand for it. 

“Why does my second gender decide what's dangerous for me or not? Before you had me contained because I was too dangerous for you.” Yeonjun points out the contradiction. “I’m not saying I’m a danger to you still. All I want to do is fight, but I want to fight for this pack,  _ our _ pack.” 

“Yeonjun, what are you doing?” Soobin comes up behind him. “Y-You can’t do this. You might be able to fight using what you learned, but you’re at a serious physical disadvantage, especially in wolf form.” 

Yeonjun narrows his eyes at his mate, doesn’t glare, but squints them. “Then you’re all undermining not only me, but all omegas. My biology may give me a disadvantage, but that doesn’t mean I can’t beat them. I just have to find the advantages that it does give me.” 

“It’s not a fair fight.” Namjoon adds in, attempting to back up Soobin’s point.

“Since when has life been fair? When I almost died for something I didn’t do? I want to fight, I want to be a protector of this pack and I don’t need anyone to believe in me because...because  _ I  _ believe in me.” Yeonjun huffs out and turns to glare at everyone who’s looking down on him. “Now you either drag me out of here kicking and screaming or you let me have a chance.” 

Soobin grabs his arm and turns him so he’s facing him, so he’s staring deeply into his scared, worried eyes. “Please, don’t do this, Yeonjun, please.” 

Yeonjun shakes his head and rips his arm out of his grip. “I have to do this, Soobin, I have to do this for me, okay? I’m sorry.” He turns back to the head alpha. “I want to fight.” 

Namjoon takes a second, inhales, exhales, glances around for a second or two before answering. “Okay. If you’re choosing, if this is something you seriously want to do, I’m giving you a chance. You can tap out if you have to.” 

“I won’t need to.”

+++

Yeonjun dips his head below his raised forearms, they’re starting in pairs. He sizes up his opponent, he just so happened to end up with an alpha. He’s not the most intimidating out of the bunch, but that doesn’t mean his aura isn’t radiating with dominance. 

“Prepare to lose omega, I can just use my alpha voice on you to make you drop to your knees.” He taunts as they circle each other and wait for Namjoon to yell start. Yeonjun doesn’t buy into it, he won’t be psyched out so easily or so early in the game, he put himself here and he’s going to fight like hell. So he doesn’t respond, not yet at least. “What? So scared you can’t even respond?” 

A hard enough punch to the jaw will knock him out, but he has to be able to build up some power behind it. He can start by winding him, and work his way there after that. The diaphragm is open, the alpha has no fighting stance, his body is open so there’s a perfect shot waiting for him. 

The alpha scoffs, “I knew you were weak, but I didn’t think you’d be this weak.” Again, Yeonjun ignores him and prepares himself for taking blows like he used to. He’s going to be rusty, but he can do this, he  _ has _ to do this. 

“Go!” 

“I’m not going to be the one on my knees,” Yeonjun says through gritted teeth, and he charges at the alpha, dodging the first punch the alpha throws and sweeping his leg out from under him. He drives his elbow into the alpha’s collarbone, in between the physical bone where skin stretches over the hallow opening, then brings up his knee to slam it into his diaphragm. 

The alpha is winded and on the floor, but he recovers quicker than Yeonjun anticipates because he hooks an arm around the back of Yeonjun’s knee and pulls him down, rolling them over so he’s on top of him. 

“I was going to be nice but-” The alpha pulls back his arm as he speaks and Yeonjun takes the opportunity to strike, punching him in the throat and using his left forearm to hit the inner crook of his elbow. The alpha chokes and falls on top of Yeonjun once his arm is taken out. Yeonjun musters all the strength he has and uses his arms and legs to roll the alpha off of him and to the side. 

Yeonjun challenges him, gets on top of him, pinning his forearms with his knees with all his body weight, and begins to land blows on the alpha’s face. He’s breathing hard, so he tries to take a deep breath, but then the alpha stares him in the eyes and uses his alpha voice. “ _ Submit _ .” His voice is low and Yeonjun feels compelled to listen, but he fights it as best he can. 

His head starts involuntarily turning to the right, ready to bare his neck and listen to the alpha. Yeonjun whimpers at the mental strength he’s exerting by just trying to disobey. 

  
“ _ Submit, omega _ .” Damn him! It’s not fair that he has this power, but he knows that if this were a real fight and he was an actual defender, any alpha would use this same technique. It’s up to Yeonjun to overpower it and show his strength. 

His eye twitches, but he’s able to maintain the challenging stare he gives to the alpha, holding it even though he knows he shouldn’t even be able to. His head whips to the side, but Yeonjun brings it back, it’s so  _ hard _ , it’s taking all of Yeonjun’s mental power to even move his head against the command. 

Yeonjun’s so busy trying to forgo the alpha’s command, he doesn’t realize that the alpha has managed to wiggle one of his arms free from Yeonjun’s knees. He only notices when it’s too late and the alpha is punching him in the cheek while throwing Yeonjun onto the ground beside him. 

Yeonjun is in shock, holding his cheek, the order totally forgotten. The alpha grabs his leg and drags him closer with one arm. Yeonjun struggles, kicks and fights against the alpha’s grip, tastes metal from the punch that split his lip. He pants as the alpha is above him once again and he throws a couple more punches. 

“I was going to take it easy on you,  _ omega _ , but you’re a sneaky, underhanded little bitch, aren’t you?” He delivers a blow to Yeonjun’s temple and it momentarily stuns him. “I don’t like to beat up on omegas, but you need to learn your place.” 

“I-I’m-” Yeonjun huffs out and stutters along, “I’m more...more underhanded than-than an alpha that...that uses his alpha voice when he’s-he’s desperate?” 

The alpha rages, “ _ You little _ -”

“W-want me to tell you why you’re g-going to lose?” Yeonjun whispers and brings up a hand, pinching the alpha’s muscular forearm. The alpha cries out and slips a bit, Yeonjun, once again, takes advantage of the chance and flips him off, rolling to sit on top of him. He leans down, “You talk too much,” he pulls back and smiles with slightly bloody teeth, “and because you didn’t see this.” Yeonjun launches his fist directly at his jaw, uses all the power he had built up when he distracted the alpha with his reply. 

He watches his head turn to the side, then his eyes roll back, the alpha blacking out, signifying Yeonjun’s win. 

Yeonjun scoffs. “How’s that for an omega?” He asks rhetorically, standing up, breathing heavily, and turning to face the head alpha, who is standing alongside the rest of the victors from the other pairs. 

All of them are stunned, but Namjoon is able to pull himself together and announce, “um, we’re taking a break. Don’t go far, we’re coming back very soon.” 

Yeonjun walks over to Soobin, who looks as if he’s ready to tear his hair out. “What?” Yeonjun gulps down air and wipes at the blood on his mouth. 

“Yeonjun, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.” 

“Are you serious right now? Did you not just see me beat  _ and _ knock out that alpha douche?” Yeonjun points at the alpha that’s being woken up and helped up by some other wolves. 

“Yes, I admit, you were capable of beating him down, but you were  _ only _ trained in hand to hand combat, you’ve never fought in your wolf form. It’s much different, too different. You won’t be able to adjust.” Soobin has a point, regardless of how much it irritates Yeonjun, he’s right, it’s going to be much different fighting in wolf form than it is in human form. 

Yeonjun looks away and glares at the ground. “I’m not giving up.” 

“Look, baby, you’ve made your point, omegas can do anything alphas and betas do, I get it now, but this has gone far enough. You need to stop right now!” Soobin yells, genuinely scared for him. 

“Why don’t you just help me?!” Yeonjun cries, exasperated. “Give me a few pointers, help me figure out how to beat them. I know you’re worried, but don’t discourage me because I won’t let you. I love you, Soobin, but no, I’m fighting until the very end, win or lose.” 

“Goddess!” Soobin puts a hand over his eyes in frustration. “Yeonjunnie, I can’t see you hurt-” 

“Obviously my message hasn’t gotten across if you’re still adamant on trying to talk me out of it.” Yeonjun glares at Soobin menacingly. But instead of backing down and apologizing like Soobin usually would, he glares right back, with the same fire that Yeonjun has, the one that’s burning right underneath his heart and forcing it to jump so harshly, it hits at his rib cage.

“I hate this, I hate this so fucking much,” Soobin removes his hand and squeezes his eyes shut tightly, hard enough to make it look like it hurts. “But I’ll be damned if you get mad at me for not supporting you and not having your back again,” Soobin steps closer and grabs Yeonjun’s biceps firmly, “so you get in there, and you win against those alpha and beta bastards.”

“And-” Yeonjun gasps, his chest moving up and down rapidly, “and i-if I don’t?” 

Soobin makes an intimate eye contact in the heat of the moment, the flames of passion and love locking with the fire flicking inside of Yeonjun’s eyes, “I’ll still love you as much as I have since the very first day we met.” 

Their lips meet in a rough, heated kiss. It steals Yeonjun’s breath away, makes his heart pound furiously, bruises his lips, forces them to swell. It translates everything Soobin is trying to tell Yeonjun and gives him something that he’s needed since the beginning of the fight; reassurance. Soobin gives his love, his support, his heart to Yeonjun, and Yeonjun has never been able to see it as clearly as he can at this very moment. 

Soobin breaks away abruptly and moves his lips next to Yeonjun’s ear, panting hotly against his lobe, “Whatever you do-” Yeonjun’s in a daze, but he listens, he  _ hears _ Soobin, “don’t let them get you on your back.” 

Yeonjun turns his head to look at his soulmate’s eyes and nods sincerely, letting him know he understands. 

“Back in the ring, everyone,” Namjoon calls. 

Soobin presses a quick kiss to Yeonjun’s head, firm,  _ hard _ , yet too fast. He nudges Yeonjun back into the ring and Yeonjun goes. 

“This round, you must fight in your wolf forms, first two on their backs are out and we’ll have our winners. Shift now, we’ll provide you more clothes after the fight.” Namjoon explains, steps back. 

All five of the contestants shift, Yeonjun begins sizing them up as they circle one another. There’s no pairing off this time, it’s dog eat dog here, so Yeonjun must strategize. He doesn’t have full control because he’s never been given the chance to explore everything he can do within this form, but Yeonjun must pay attention to what he can do. 

There’s two alphas and two betas. The alphas are the largest, it’s obvious, and the betas are slightly shorter and the slightest bit smaller as well, but in his wolf form, Yeonjun is disadvantaged. He could barely compare to the size of a beta, let alone an alpha. But his body is smaller, slimmer, less bulky than the figure of an alpha or beta, so if he can manage to harness a certain agility then he could outrun and dodge attacks. He needs to stay on the defensive as long as he can. 

All Yeonjun has to do is take out two of the other contestants - if he gets lucky, he might not have to do all the work - and if he does, then he can take one of the three spots Namjoon has open. 

However, once Namjoon lets out a “fight!”, Yeonjun’s plans go to shit because all four wolves look at him. They’re ganging up on him and he never considered that as an option, when it totally is. They have some sort of silent pack to take out the weakest and to them, the weakest is Yeonjun. He should be the easiest to get in their eyes, so he’s the most blatant choice out of the five of them. 

Yeonjun curses internally while he’s growling at all four wolves as ferociously as he can make his growl. He edges them, doesn’t strike first and tries not to be scared whenever they jump out as if to attack only to nip at his paws. 

They’re not giving him the chance to be on the defense, someone has to strike first, this can’t last all day, but Yeonjun holds himself back. He studies each opponent and decides that the alpha farthest to his right is the most eager seeing as he keeps nipping and attempting to scare Yeonjun. He’ll crack first if Yeonjun provokes him. He knows exactly how. 

Making direct eye contact, Yeonjun growls in challenge and the alpha charges at him, full speed ahead. He jumps at him, but Yeonjun ducks low. The alpha manages to knock him off balance anyway and roll him, but he doesn’t end up on his back thankfully. 

The alpha growls and charges once more, this time plowing Yeonjun down. They roll and roll, snapping at each other and wriggling against each other until, by some stroke of dumb lucky, Yeonjun’s able to pin him against his back, snapping his canines at the alpha male’s neck. 

“Out!” Namjoon calls and Yeonjun feels the slightest bit of relief course through him. He’s not even sure what just happened, but he’ll take the win since he ended up with it...somehow. 

Unfortunately, Yeonjun lets his guard down that little bit and the other wolves use it to their full advantage, barreling Yeonjun so hard that he’s caught off guard and they roll him onto his back, pressing up against him and biting at him. 

When Yeonjun realizes it, he knows he’s lost, but he still wiggles and yips and yelps and growls and bites, he tries his best. But he can’t get out of it. Then he hears Namjoon yell, “Out!” and the fight leaves his body, drains out of him completely. 

Yeonjun closes his eyes for a second, just a second, and catches his breath, pants harshly, his exhausted body eventually shifts back into human form. He expects to hear a distorted congratulations for the three wolves that wonbecause he’s fading in and out at the moment, but he doesn’t. 

Instead, once he opens his eyes, he sees Namjoon above him. “You have my respect, Yeonjun. You proved me wrong.” 

Pride swells in Yeonjun’s chest and all he can remember last is his eyes fluttering shut while a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. 

_ I did it _ .

+++

“How come I couldn’t smell it on him earlier?” 

“That’s just how his body works, it decided now was the time to make it known.” 

“But...shouldn’t it take days before we know?” 

“It might’ve happened the first day, you guys were in the tent for a little while, enough days for his body to change.” 

“I-I don’t understand this, he just-he just fought like nine wolves in this condition! What if it did damage to-” 

“I don’t think we can figure that out until he’s awake, Soobin.” 

  
_ Soobin _ . Yeonjun hums and clenches his eyes before blinking them open, recognizing the voices but his mind too slow to put a name or face to them. Soobin was given to him, so he can now associate it, but he also wonders who Soobin is talking with? 

His body aches and he’s sore, more sore than he thought he would be, though he should’ve known. But he did it, Yeonjun really did it, he proved to everyone that omegas can do a lot more than they’ve ever imagined.  _ He _ did that. 

“Yeonjunnie? Baby, my sweet mate, are you awake?” Soobin’s worried voice breaks through his sleepy haze. 

Yeonjun smiles and lets his eyes flutter open so he’s looking directly at Soobin. “Hi, Soo-Soobinnie.” His voice is rough and he sounds like he’s been dragged through the wringer one too many times, but he’s so happy to see and hear his mate now that he doesn’t mind it too much. He loves Soobin so much. 

“Did you know, Yeonjun?” 

Yeonjun turns his head and looks at Taehyun, who’s hovering over him with the same expression Soobin’s wearing. Yeonjun’s eyebrows furrow in hazy confusion. “Know? Know what?” 

Soobin speaks this time. “Did you know you were pregnant?” 

It takes a moment, but when it processes, when the words work their way through Yeonjun’s mind over and over and over again, his eyes suddenly shoot open and he’s moving a hand to touch his stomach. 

“I’m what?” 

_ Fin _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DONT SHOOT! LET ME EXPLAIN MYSELF  
> okay look, so i inspired by someone on twt (you know who you are), so i made this the last chapter of the book, BUT (!!) i am going to start the second book in Soobin's POV documenting the pregnacy and a few loose ends  
> I know the ending is kind of abrupt and i'm sorry if you don't like it, but it's ultimately my decision and i'm sticking with it  
> this book feels so long to me and it was hard motivating myself to write this last chapter, so I think the second book in Soobin's POV continuing their life will spice things up and give me a lot more motivation  
> also wanted to mention that I noticed some people really wanted badass yeonjun back so i hope his badassery here was satisfying for y'all
> 
> i just want to say thank you to everyone who has been reading, commenting, leaving kudos, messaging me on twitter, I appreciate every last drop of love and support from y'all, makes me wanna cry just thinking about it :( thank you thank you thank you for making this experience so enjoyable  
> i'm gonna feel like hell tmr for staying up so late, but y'all are worth it! f*** school (just kidding I still have to do it either way :/)  
> Have a good day and stay safe and please stay tuned for my continuation !!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)

**Author's Note:**

> this was the first chapter! I'm trying a new writing tip, so I'm definitely writing differently than I usually do, but let's see how this works out. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to leave kudos and comments if you, they are always appreciated <3
> 
> follow me if you like: [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


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